The Harukyuba Bros.
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I'm not a professional writer, but that's my goal in life. Never been published, have yet to come close, still working on my first novel (also have a screenplay that I'm trying my hand at). But I do have this short story here, which does have the possibility of being expanded into a full length book. Every time I reread this, I'm still unsure about whether or not to do so. The original draft sounded too much like Woody Allen's work, but that changed in the revisions.
Dudely Higgins and the Cassandra Dilemma
He was afraid to comprehend where he was but he knew that the two of them were alone, or at least weren't going to be disturbed. If only he could find the exit. But then she spoke to him, and fate took a firm grasp upon his life.
"Dude, look," she said.
"I don't know if I should stare directly at it," he replied. "I could go blind."
"Dude, look."
"And didn't I tell you I prefer to be called Dudely instead of Dude?" He started squirming nervously on the stool, which seemed to be both part of and out of place in the unnatural room. "Funny story about my name, too..."
"Dudely! Look!"
He gave in and looked through one of the transparent walls at the cosmic point she was gesturing at. His eyes widened as he watched the vision she had prepared for him play out on the fabric of space, glowing and flickering like an old twelve reel movie where you just know the projector is going to burn a hole in the film. He'd never known before that his soul could actually feel uncomfortable. At one point, he tried to close his eyes and look away, but she wouldn't let him. After that, he found his whole body paralyzed so that he was forced to watch the vision in full. Its end was both terrifying in that it was the climax of a series of displayed horrific events and relieving in that it was over. She was gracious enough to help him up when he bonelessly slid off the stool and onto the black marble floor.
"Now you know what you must do, Dudely Higgins," she said with his hand still clasped in hers.
"Yes. Go curl up in bed and cry for my mommy. Or better still, curl up under my bed."
She gave him a parental look. "What part of the words 'I chose you' did you not understand?"
"Uh, the part where 'you' should've been 'thee'. Then you could've gone searching for someone named Thee and left me out of this mess!"
"The worst part for me is I have a coward destined to save the universe."
"Hey, I was of average-ish bravery level before you shwooped me to this freaky space deity palace and showed me that. Sure, there's the 'Billy, don't be'... uh, there's the common sense mindset. Because you can't go saving people and things and universes when you're dead."
"Nor can you when you are locked away in a... I believe the phrase is 'nut's house'? Is that right?"
"Beg pardon?"
"Before you inputted your opinion, I was going to continue and tell you about the worst part for you."
"Other than the potentials for death, dismemberment, and not getting my travel expenses reimbursed?"
"Well, there is always what we call The Cassandra Dilemma."
"Cassandra... Cassandra... that name sounds familiar. Lemme think, I should know this. Cassandra... I'm guessing somebody famous. Probably something I learned in high school. Cassandra. Hmm. Wasn't, wasn't she that chick that Zeus was really sweet on?"
A twinkle appeared in her eye to compliment her coy smile. "Actually, no. But there were so many, who can keep track?"
"Oh, okay. But, yeah, she was in... in the Iliad. She had all these visions about events in the Trojan War before they happened and then she was blind or she angered a god or something, I don't remember which. And when she went around warning people... nobody believed her..."
"Now do you see what The Cassandra Dilemma is?"
"Yeah, definitely. In this day and age, The Boy Who Cried Wolf gets pills shoved down his throat and a room with walls you can bounce off of. Or at least try, I dunno if you can actually bounce off padded walls. And anyone who does believe me can probably confirm if you can bounce or not."
"I could go for you and see if it is possible..."
"Huh?"
"The bouncing. Eternity leaves a lot of open space on celestial to-do lists. Those of us who are not innately curious became that way out of boredom."
"Really?"
"Truly. Just... never ask any of us to do something incredibly inane and tedious, like going back in time to the year 1997 and counting all the leaves on the trees in Maine."
"Uh, I'm pretty sure that ranks really low on every philosopher's list. Those koan things about the tree falling alone and the one hand clapping probably rank way higher than that. So, then... save the universe, can't tell anyone, can't get any decent help. Is that it?"
"Pretty much. And good luck to you."
"Thanks. I'll try, but you should still stockpile lip balm just in case."
"Huh? Why?"
"Because the universe is really big, so your lips are gonna get very chapped from kissing it goodbye."
She sighed. "And destiny could not have decreed you would be an optimist?"
"With a name like Dudely? I would've been either this or a slacker. But even the slackers picked on me in school. Que sera sera, I guess. Can I go try to save the world now? If I show up late to the job, it'll make both of us look bad."
The last thing Dudely saw was her smile of approval before his vision clouded purple, as it had right before he'd ended up in that strange place. He immediately woke up in his bed, panting. As soon as he'd caught his breath, he laughed loudly in joy and relief. To think that he, a once-divorced small town man who had a weird name and worked as a sales clerk at a musical instruments store, would ever be chosen to save anything, let alone the whole universe! How fortunate he was that it had just been a bad dream.
It was at that point he recognized an odd sensation, a physical sensation involving his feet. Dudely threw back the covers to reveal that he was not only wearing his pajamas, but that his feet were clad in his best pair of wingtips. He never even wore socks to bed, but in his dream he had worn his wingtips and a powder blue suit that he didn't own in real life. Instinctively, he got out of bed and crept over to the closet. Flinching as he flung the door open, his fears were realized as he saw his button down shirts and his two brown tweed suits parted so that the powder blue suit had an emphasizingly wide empty space to hang in. It was there, it was real, and it would probably return mysteriously if he threw it away or burned it. Dudely slumped down on the edge of the bed, wondering what on earth he was going to do now.
The worst part was nobody would believe him if he told them about it.
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< Message edited by The Harukyuba Bros. -- 10/8/2010 15:20:34 >
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