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RE: (DF) The Legacy of a Hero

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1/27/2011 11:51:50   
Mordred
Member

@Dante: Really? Only now? I thought you were more observant than that.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 51
1/27/2011 11:55:53   
Baron Dante
Member

Hey. I read it only once, and that was during the night hours. I only now randomly noticed it.

I'm observant when it comes to totally useless stuff though.


Does this mean she sells the Doom Weapons in the story?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 52
1/28/2011 15:02:25   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 I forgot that she sold the doom weapons...... hmm where can I fit that.....

Apologies for the lack of updates, I've been thinking on ways to improve Pt1 Ch1, it being the very first chapter I don't want to leave so suckish.

So you guys know what is happening, I hope to be in the first HHD before or during the actual HHD event but no promises. Also, before you get your hopes up the next chapter will have very little action on it, it is mainly a break between the war and Raven going to search for the dragon egg. Primarily it will consist of all the heroes being awarded defenders medals, a prank or two, a football type game to help unwind and Raven spectulating of her future. After that Raven will spend the next few chapters alone before returning for Frostvale and the Ice Dragon War.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 53
1/28/2011 19:00:42   
Anastira
Member

You know what, I really liked it!
Check out Shadow Mists at the Work Table, because I'm going on twelve and I made that much.
I think your chapters and parts are going a little fast, but then again, so did James Patterson's.
I'd like to say I REALLY like your characters. A few typos, for example you should not capitalize words immediately after quotes unless they are starting a totally different, new sentence. I.e.,

"Lara Williams," she said. My heart pounded as quickly as a wildfire would devastate a forest.

BTW, that was made up on the spot and NOT part of my story, so anyway...

_____________________________
AQW  Post #: 54
1/28/2011 19:04:40   
Anastira
Member

Where are we supposed to post our full stories?
P.S., a summary of mine. It's not done, but I'll post it if you can please answer my question...it would be a great help.

Four paths intertwined...
And the Lore of old comes true.
In the North, the great master of Shadow, Sanivir, plots to take the world. It will be his – and everyone shall fear his name and presence. He sends a young girl, Taima, to fulfill his wishes, along with another of his apprentices, a teenage boy named Rianth.
In the West, the young girl Solreyah, her friends Nessyr and Byantha, know nothing of the coming danger – that is, until all but Solreyah are taken into captivity by Sanivir and a stranger tells Solreyah of the danger. Drena, Solreyah’s woman-friend and Wrangar – a Moonfox-human who can assume either form – aids Solreyah in the battle. She does her best to teach Solreyah the art of war, first by having her compete in the Tournament, a vicious Warriors’-game held between the Warrior Holds every year.
In the East lies the Shadowlands, an unexplored area of the world which not one would venture to, except Drena – for it is the Wrangar’s homeland and birthplace. There they travel each year to honor their ancestors and the nature that created them.
And in the South lies the greatest mystery of all.
The last Emphora – Lady of the Miste – and the Lone Isle, along with the Drasons and the somewhat vicious and war-centered native tribal peoples there. And still, the last Emphora’s plan is veiled, hidden to all but those of the Lone Isle, and Drena, who has foresight – but even she does not see the future clearly.
Still lies undiscovered the Lady of Miste and her plans.

_____________________________
AQW  Post #: 55
2/3/2011 16:44:04   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 *Raven eyes spot it and swiftly swoop down on it.*

Very nice continuation of the story, although I must ask why there are darkness elementals attacking the town in the past.
Seeing Mritha's background I could understand why they would follow her, as being conjured by an elemental dragon of darkness (Ogodne). Yet here they seem out of place, as is this "mage". Is he truly a mage or a necromancer who can do more than just animating the dead?

And last but not least, why didn't he tell Kyle that Mritha could not be killed?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 56
2/3/2011 17:17:21   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 @DD, Fodr did not tell Kyle that because he knew it would open too many questions of how he knew. He simply wanted to stop his daughter from destroying anther town and enslaving the souls of its people but he needed help to do so because Mritha is using much bigger armies now and he can't take them alone which is why he asked Kyle. Also, Ahtirm and Engdo's element is light, hence her white armor and scales respectively but because of *censored for spoilers* both of them are *censored* because Surt *censored* which is why *censored* so Ahtirm and Engdo changed their names to Mritha and Odgne respectively because they didn't want *censored* however Fodr discovered the truth and confronted them about it. Because Surt didn't *censored* they were able to tell Fodr some of what happened and he has tried to *censored* ever since. As for the darkness elementals, thats because of *censored*. The next chapter will be from Mritha and Odgne's point of view and will explain most if not all of the plot holes. After that, there will be two, maybe three chapters left in A DragonLord's Loss and I will go back to writing The Legacy of a Hero :)
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 57
2/3/2011 17:27:39   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Mritha: Fodr could simply have told Kyle that Mritha is an undead(?) champion of an evil mage.

Kyle: Hm, a clichee story about a mad mage who uses necromancy to get himself an undead(?) champion.
Kyle: I'm so TOTALLY buying it!
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 58
2/3/2011 17:42:35   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 She's not undead ^^ and besides, thats too cliche, I was testing new ideas :)
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 59
2/3/2011 17:55:02   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Mritha: I was presenting a lie Fodr could have told Kyle so he would not lose him like he lost his daughter and her dragon to Surt.
For if Mritha had slain Kyle, all would have been lost.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 60
2/3/2011 18:15:47   
Mordred
Member

More for me to read! Yay! just gotta make dinner first. And hooray for cliches! You won't see me usin' those too much, though.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 61
2/4/2011 19:44:44   
1412.
Member

Pretty good work, I am very impressed.
In fact I have started working on a story as well, Twilight Soul.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 62
2/8/2011 22:56:27   
1412.
Member

I see a small error in Dragon Lord's loss
quote:

“Look at the starts!”
is supposed to be
quote:

“Look at the stars!”
I presume.


< Message edited by BurningKatana -- 2/9/2011 0:27:06 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 63
2/8/2011 23:56:17   
G.I.G.A.
Member

Actually Katana, grammar doesn't apply to dialogue. It is what the character said and should not be changed. Unless, of course, that wasn't from dialogue; I couldn't find it.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 64
2/9/2011 0:23:59   
1412.
Member

That actually was from dialogue, and when it said look at the starts, I read on and saw that it was supposed to be stars.
And for the second error, that was my mistake I think I am getting tired, But i edited it out of my post.

Anyway thanks for the info G.I.G.A.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 65
2/9/2011 0:30:11   
G.I.G.A.
Member

@Katana

Yes, notice how I said grammar, not spelling ;)
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 66
2/16/2011 12:21:37   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Thanks for the corrections guys :)

I fixed some grammer mistakes and deleated some from the second chapter where I had been repeating myself and didn't know it as well as posted the next chaper for ADL. I did some work in the next chapter for ALoaH but it isn't yet ready to be posted. Just wanted to let you guys know I haven't forgotten about it :)
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 67
2/16/2011 16:24:04   
Baron Dante
Member

I want to wait till DL's Loss is finished before I read it... which I wait so I can get on to read the daring endeavours of my character Raven. :P
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 68
2/19/2011 11:19:05   
Mortarion
Member

I totally loved the history, hmmmmmmmmmm wh do I think that kyle and mritha will end up falling in love , btw I'll do the same for my history

_____________________________
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 69
2/23/2011 16:16:42   
1412.
Member

I liked the latest chapter, but found 1 possible error in it.
quote:

However the were soon discovered despite their attempts, and had no choice but to fight their way through the hallways.

Should be....
quote:

However they were soon discovered despite their attempts, and had no choice but to fight their way through the hallways.

I look forward to reading more chapters soon.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 70
2/23/2011 23:12:46   
Mritha
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 Typo fixed and next chapter posted :)
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 71
2/23/2011 23:23:48   
1412.
Member

I see, It was a very good chapter,
and I can't wait to see how the battle turns out.
No Corrections needed as far as I can see.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 72
2/24/2011 22:08:37   
Razen
Member

Dark...But, I don't like the way that A Dragonlord's Loss is going...
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 73
2/25/2011 3:51:03   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 *Draws the Sword of Grammar and Spellcheck.*

quote:

Ahtirm (a/)woke (/up) in a small cell. There was no bed, only dirty straw. Her sword was missing, as was her helm and the white hair that was common among the people of her homeland fell freely from her shoulders. Golden hazel eyes scanned the cell, searching for a way out but there was none to be found.


quote:

Ahtirm saw her heart turn black then felt a cold shadow slipping through her veins. A black spot appeared in the center of her armor, then spread throughout following the shadows pulsing within her. Her white armor became blacker than a starless night and the shining gold trim turned a deep purple. Through their bond, Ahtirm felt Engdo’s pain as her scales became shadowed and even the color of the fire burning within the dragon’s belly was not spared the corruption.


quote:

Odgne growled at the man, enjoying the flicker of fear in his eyes before standing. She walked towards the window and jumped off the balcony, her violet wings carrying her into the darkness of night.


*Sheathes the Sword of Grammar and Spellcheck.*

@Mritha: Hm, dark and gloomy. Might I ask why Mritha/Ahtirm has wings?

Oh, also spotted a reference to the "Temple of Doom".
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 74
2/25/2011 3:51:31   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 Wow, your stories really are awesome.
Just let my exams get over.
I'll read the whole.
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 75
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