Comment thread: Eve.


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1/14/2011 13:19:12

Helixi
Member

Eve.

Please enjoy, comments much appreciated.

Post #: 1

1/14/2011 15:09:19

Reaper Sigma
Member

Hi Helix!

Well, I'm liking the story. Here are some small things:

quote:

Mould crept over the white paint and Eve surveyed the scene before her with quiet revulsion.

Mold is what you want, I believe.

That's it for any grammar errors. The transition from scene to scene is a bit confusing, but something I got over. My advice: focus on conveying the mood of the story. Though, that's just my opinion.

Post #: 2

1/15/2011 6:13:25

Helixi
Member

I think that's British/American spelling differences at work there. xD I decided to try something new, ie. not vampire/horror based. I hope it comes out ok, because I've never done anything like this before.

Post #: 3

1/8/2012 10:46:17

Helixi
Member

I intend to rework the plot of this story at some point. For now, it's on hold.

Post #: 4

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