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(DF) Starlight Chronicles

 
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3/6/2011 0:03:55   
1412.
Member

You can post on my new story called Starlight.
Criticism, Critique, and Comments are all welcome.

You can find the story here.




< Message edited by BurningKatana -- 4/21/2011 18:46:35 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
3/6/2011 0:32:10   
Glais
Member

Sort of a WIP so far, but still I like the backstory given, Mana School+The North sounds like a cool combination.
DF MQ  Post #: 2
3/6/2011 1:43:17   
1412.
Member

Thank you for the comment, and I will try to have Chapter 1 up shortly.
I am currently writing it right now.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 3
3/6/2011 7:52:22   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


quote:

Kaero sighed and looked at where the echo was coming from and he saw an young man possibly a Dragon hybrid
walk towards him.


Correct me if I am wrong, but shouldn't that be just "a" instead of "an"?

The story itself is interesting, but perhaps you could give the reader an idea where this country is on the map of Lore.
As for your background story on the king and such, perhaps this should be the prologue rather than being part of the first chapter.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 4
3/6/2011 10:05:41   
1412.
Member

Corrected and Edited. Thank you for pointing that out.

And, I will point out where Varia is located later in the story.
I have also labeled Prologue above the back story.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 5
3/7/2011 3:57:52   
Glais
Member

Read chapter 1, not bad, a few grammar errors here and there but the main story's ok.
Haven't read enough to reeeeally say anything about the story though.
DF MQ  Post #: 6
3/7/2011 7:33:16   
1412.
Member

Well, if you see any grammatical mistakes just point them out to me
and I'll correct them swiftly.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 7
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