Immortales
Banned
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Chapter 1 Please comment on my work might help it improve: Needed Immortal Help By: Elissa 721 B.C. This is the day my grandson is born. It is also the day my daughter died. It is a day of mixed emotions. You see my grandson was born an unusual way. This day earlier my...my.. daughter died before giving birth. It was a sad day of how two lives were lost in a blink of an eye. This was very unfortunate that's what we thought. At my daughter's ceremony her body was burned. This was a sad day for my family and relatives. Ashes all that was left it's how a life ends in this world. IT was downright unfair I cursed and cursed the ground the sky even to myself. A lot of people mourned once more then an unfamiliar crying joined with us a baby's cries. Everyone else started stopping and were frozen in fear,awe, and confusion. These cries seemed to be coming from the .. the.. ashes. I took a step. Someone said "NO!! don't take a look not there, you're mad don't even think about it!!!!." I didn't mind her andwent on then more people said "No!! Don't it's not there." I walked closer everystep faster than the last I knew this was gonna be a tale left in the mist in the days past. But but I just needed to see the truth. Looking around the people went nuts corner to corner left right like mad people. Denying the fact the truth that it came from the ashes. As I got closer the crying went louder and louder!!!. It was getting more intense by the closer I got there was this uneasy feeling from the ashes. This isn't your ordinary day. Then I got so close that now I can see the pile of ashes left. I stood there and a wild wind came to blow the pile of ashes. I looked down almost dead from an attack I could not handle I laid on the ground fainted as with the others. The people remembered this day the day the boy from the ashes was born. I named him Asch the immortal child from the fury of fire to the ashes and gore. His coming to this earth was unusual and saying that. It I mean he Asch was normal looking and I do hope he lives his LIFE the fullest. Out of death comes the life of another. Memories of the Immortal I don't know what got into me about half the day I was hanging. My friends treat me well why do adults look at me this way? This was the second time this day in an hour interval that I ended up being tied to a tree branch. I got hungry so I went to the temple to eat. That was kinda it for me but people say it's a holy place in our city blah blah.. The temple was closer to my spot than grammy's house so I went there instead. It makes perfect sense!!! So why am I hanging here! for the second time!! .....Hmm now that I think about it I did push the teacher off the window. Wait he slapped me and hit me with his' stick thing first! Uhmm my rabbit is funny. Wait what?! Hey why am I hanging again? Oh yeah I placed ropes around everyone's door steps then they tripped hehehe.. I remember that oh yeah we have rocky roads do we?! Huh what am I saying Uhhgg.... Blech!! *cough* *cough* oh men I am getting messed up from all these what happened again? A leaf went to the ropes just above me that cut them. I thought "showoff". I then remembered i am faaalliiing. Doug!! Pak!! I hit my head on a rock. The last thing I saw was a girl smiling at me pus the blood dripping from my head. I then fell unconcious for the next hour. By: Elissa I just learned that my Asch fell from a tree branch! I got to hurry to my grandson he's the legacy my only daughter left. His father didn't keep him long he died in a battle when Asch was just 1year old. I then took him in my custody shortly afterwards. Asch is a pretty naughty boy for a 5 year old. The punishments given to him a hit on the head, hanged upside down a tree branch, dipped in the water for a time then slammed bach on it and shaking his head numerous times. Those punishments will only make it worse for him. I can't think of what that child would do next. It might get even worse he was hanged from a tree branch twice!! ina a day a total of about 8hrs!. Oh goodness and now he fell on his head! I hope he is okay. I just hope so..please please be so.. Marks of hate Grandad Poppy: "That darned Asch fool! look at my head that bump is huge." "I tripped because of that 'mistake' he said about putting a rope tied firm on my door step!!" Kazim: "That's all you got I have a broken nose!" Frees: "Pffity Your all so stupid and idiotic I needed two words of the same meaning to describe you!, I lost an eye cause of that 'prank' he did." Cypran: "Pop it's your wife that held him in anyway!,it's your fault." Grandad Poppy: "Oh who are you to complain did you even trip PUNK!!." Cypran: "... I uhm stbbed my toe?...." Frees: "I lost an eye.. an eye..." points at his lost eye "you stubbed you toe?" Kazim: "What are you even blaming Pop about.. " points at nose "do you see my nose?" Grandad Poppy: "Look at my head" gestures his head how it has bruises and a big big bump that's red as a pimple "do you even see us?" The 3 injured guys clenched their fists Cypran: Hey hey! it's Asch were talking about.... The 3 injured guys move their shoulders ready to fight Cypran: WHoa!!! wait were friends here.... The 3 injured guys get closer fis ready Cypran: Uhmm? drinks on me?.. no please don't!.. 3 guys: Alright! you got yourself a deal Present Day "These memories cloud my thoughts it's hindering my work" Flips the burger patty in the air and uses the spatula to slice it in 50 pieces "I still got it" Looks into the widow and the sky "I have to many what ifs in my life." Shakes head "okay back to work." looking at Asch err Immortales his form seems to change child,teen,old,middle age etc.
< Message edited by Immortales -- 2/27/2012 7:16:01 >
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