DeathGuard
Member
|
Hey, nice story!
I liked how the story starts progressing, I'm still asking myself who is Tranqui? It seems that it is someone that would have a great importance in the continue of the story.
I saw he raged a lot, but rage can collapse his mind and make him turn to the dark side, you could give a use to that rage in the progress, also a friend that is the total opposite but has the same ideology but that will accomplish it by his own way. I had like it a lot, please write the next part, I will be waiting anxiously.
EDIT: You could add some more details on its personality, scenes and before he starts a fight, or when he is in a fight and fights. Many things you can detail in this cool story!
~xDeathGuardx
< Message edited by DeathGuard -- 3/11/2012 22:53:51 >
|
Printable Version
Icon Legend
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread
