Tale of a hero comments and criticism


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6/24/2012 19:07:33

tyraedev99
Member

here Tale Of A Hero read it and speak your mind

AQW

Epic

Post #: 1

6/26/2012 0:00:33

Glais
Member

Hm ok, so first thing I notice is the formatting is a bit odd. You should probably break up the paragraphs a bit for easier reading.

Secondly, the tone in the bits showing Alex seemed a bit off. I mean, they just kinda randomly jump to DragonGrasp and all. Seems written a bit...unrealistically?

Donovan...wasn't that the guy from...hmmm.

Post #: 2

6/26/2012 4:02:47

Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L

This story lacks details, we don't know anything about the persons or dragons and what they look like. Make your readers care about them. Why would the storyteller "selflessly" offer to train Alex? Why did Aisha and Donovan specifically want him as the teacher for their son? Why couldn't Alex get on the dragon as well?

Like glaisaurus_x said, this story feels rushed. Take your time for a chapter and add some details, it'll improve drastically when you do.

AQW

Post #: 3

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