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RE: (Pre-DF) The Dishonored Veldrin Commentary

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1/29/2013 16:32:40   
Glais
Member

Well...we have seen one city in <_< >_> AQWorlds.

Luckily that was AQW in better times though so it's...easier to accept.
DF MQ  Post #: 101
1/29/2013 16:35:11   
Razen
Member

But, AQW is pretty much disconnected from AQ and DF...but I suppose that Doug Digg's description of Dwarves loving mining doesn't necessarily disagree with AQW's depiction of Dwarfhold.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 102
1/29/2013 16:36:05   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Razen: Seeing your story is AQ/DF you can have the dwarven miners make use of Rayzards.

They also seem to have opera houses (or at least singers), judging from the Germinator release in AQ.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 103
1/29/2013 16:39:31   
Glais
Member

quote:

But, AQW is pretty much disconnected from AQ and DF...but I suppose that Doug Digg's description of Dwarves loving mining doesn't necessarily disagree with AQW's depiction of Dwarfhold.

My point is it's the only visual we have though and for what it's worth, it's actually quite good for once.
DF MQ  Post #: 104
1/29/2013 16:47:50   
Razen
Member

I suppose...then I'll need to begin envisioning Gorraran...with an opera house. Nice advice with utilizing Rayzards as well.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 105
1/29/2013 17:01:03   
Glais
Member

Agreed on the RayZards.
quote:

The unsympathetic voice of Myodei broke the silence of the entire surrounding region, "Are you ready to enter the birthplace of the Devourer, Zynaer?"

I cannot help but picture a StarScream-esque smirk after this.
Or Cars-esque if you prefer
DF MQ  Post #: 106
2/2/2013 22:34:47   
Razen
Member

I just had to add that right after that line...on that note, I finished the first segment of Chapter 7. I've got some of the second segment, but it is certainly not finished.

Edit: Finished the second segment.

< Message edited by Razen -- 2/4/2013 6:34:38 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 107
2/5/2013 23:47:17   
Glais
Member

quote:

I mean, Zayn and Dad were trying to prep me to be a rogue, but where am I going to find a 'Rogues for Hire' sign out of the blue?"

This strikes me as kinda clunky game/out of universe speak.
quote:

His plump abdomen overshadowed his His beard had grown in length

Huh? Looks like one sentence got off.
quote:

you'll likely come upon a Dwarven party! Oh, do I need to even<>begin those?"

With

Anyhow good chapter. The Razen-Azaila dynamic's working a bit better than I expected.
TimeSkip was quite large though, which makes things slightly odd that the Demons haven't like...finished yet.

End segment's interesting, next Demon revealed it seems.
DF MQ  Post #: 108
2/6/2013 4:20:13   
Razen
Member

Changed the first one to...be more...in 'verse speak. Second was that I must've STARTED a sentence and then forgot to go back and finish it...so I finished it. Third should've been an 'on' after begin("Do I even to even with begin those?" Come on man.).

As for the Demons...not doing much over the Timeskip, well...think of it like this: Would you want to attract attention by breaking through the thousands of feet enveloping the accursed birthplace of The'Galin just after you've freed yourself from imprisonment in the Elemental Planes?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 109
2/6/2013 6:51:55   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
quote:

The ice surrounding the chasm continued to grow in size as well, as the lone obstacle to entering the birthplace of The'Galin begin to open up for Zynaer and Myodei.

began

A very nice chapter thus far.

I am rather interested, how do you view Lymcrest as being a dwarven mining town?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 110
2/6/2013 6:57:24   
Razen
Member

Fixed.

As for Lymcrest as a dwarven mining town...I'd list it as "mild and not the most dwarf-y of Dwarven settlements".

Oh, and Glai was right about the next demon showing up. It's probably obvious the element of this one...but I don't recall if you already connected him to his name. I suppose that will come soon enough.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 111
2/6/2013 7:49:04   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Razen: Well, obviously seeing as it also has humans living in it. I meant more like how it ended up there, so far away from Dwarfhold.

quote:

How he spoke of the city, it sounded more like a romanticized fortress and trading post.


You see, when I first read this it sounded more like an outpost. Not something I would've thought to be deep within Dwarven lands.

< Message edited by Dwelling Dragonlord -- 2/6/2013 8:06:27 >
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 112
2/6/2013 16:55:14   
Razen
Member

Post likely would be better off replaced with center. As for the distance of Lymcrest...Witchdoctors and Voodoo Magic. More seriously, considering that they have undertravel agents, I presume that they had an entire system set up underneath the surface, akin to that of what we saw of the Chaosweavers constructing an underground highway. Y'know...just less needy to destroy anything and everything above it.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 113
2/8/2013 23:11:10   
Razen
Member

Okay...Third Segment is out. This one's about Veqwei(Added an 'e' from Veqwi for pronunciation reasons) and Zynaer. I hope you enjoy...and that comments.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 114
2/9/2013 10:20:12   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 Very interesting, a water demon requires to drink.

Not sure if I would be buying the thing on Sek-Duat's way of gaining enemies, but that could have something to do with my own idea on that.

quote:

He sighed and prepared for a decent length account of his creation.

lengthy

quote:

He had placed the chalice on the inside of his robes, and it was the goblet that keep the robes from falling apart as he maneuvered like a slime.

kept

Do you mean a slime like the monster in DF?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 115
2/9/2013 11:25:03   
Razen
Member

Well, to just be like "Oh, here's this scroll that doesn't really have much explanation to it, have fun." Isn't a very...strong way to help someone help, so they gave him advice on how to obtain its prerequisites in a way that went alongside the story. Granted, I do concur that it doesn't feel very strong.

As for the Slime...sorta. I was mostly meaning just what one would imagine when you see an entity made of water rushing for anything, not any exact specifics since the residue of their movement is pretty standard. Therefore, I find it funny that you thought that Veqwei had to drink. Though I forgot to add that labeling him as a Water Demon's inaccurate, since he wasn't given life by the Elemental Lords in the same case as elementals. Nonetheless, I thought that you would've put it together that Veqwei was being formed from the Chalice's endless water. Regardless, it's now known how Zynaer met Myodei and joined him, as well as that Veqwei was the first of Myodei's companions.

Fixed the errors and added a tiny bit.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 116
2/9/2013 11:56:13   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Razen: Well, depending on what sort of demons you are talking about most weren't created by the Elemental Lords either.

We have angels (elemental spirits?) cast out of their service and elemental spirits who fed off the hatred of themselves or others.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 117
2/9/2013 12:05:10   
Razen
Member

Well, considering that Angels of Darkness are described as "obedient servants to the Lord of Darkness", one would then presume that the opposite term would follow suit. Meaning that demons would be "disobedient servants of the Elemental Lords", which would require them to be Elementals. Clearly this isn't the case though, so I dunno. Just the term is a misnomer for Veqwei, since he's...just an endless supply of Water brought to life. And the latter two definitions don't fit, since he was made animate by Myodei making him a Golem. Veqwei's just labeled a demon for propaganda reasons...since y'know, if you say that you're fighting off demons, you'll get a lot more support than golems or elementals or angels or anything of that sort. I will admit that it's difficult to argue on something where the definitions of the terms aren't exactly provided.

Though, I'm surprised that you didn't note some interest with Zynaer being held captive by Belrik.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 118
2/9/2013 12:46:52   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Razen: I'm not sure what to say about Belrik. He seemed like a jerk/powerhungry mage who was able to control a creature way beyond his skill and level. Also, pyromancers aren't looking much better because of that.

I am also still not sold on Sek doing what he did based on Veqwei's advise.

quote:

If you manipulate it too quickly, they will suspect something and likely usurp your throne.


Who are it and they?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 119
2/9/2013 13:33:56   
Razen
Member

It was his reign's aggression and the people themselves. If you can provide a better suggestion to how it should be done, do indulge me.

As for Belrik...well, it's intended actually. You might can figure out what I'm doing currently.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 120
2/9/2013 18:48:12   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Razen: Well, I see it like this. Sek-Duat was this emperor who apparently was loved by his people, seeing how you've described the fountain and all. Then these demons give him a scroll which says he needs to sacrifice a hundred enemies and tell him to become more cruel toward his subjects. Basically his reaction to that was.

"M'kay, good plan. Nevermind my people who have served me for over 200 years now."
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 121
2/9/2013 20:21:59   
Razen
Member

Ah...right. I had initially thought of Sek-Duat XV's personality rather than my depictions of I and II. I'll attempt to "fix the kinks" in the reaction.

Edit: Okay...after one crashing while I was typing, I've finished my edit of the reaction. Hopefully it's better...but maybe not good enough still. If it's not, an idea of how to make it flow would be nice.

< Message edited by Razen -- 2/9/2013 21:32:19 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 122
2/12/2013 16:08:06   
Glais
Member

I like the explanation behind Sek here, better than the standard more selfish depiction of him.
Veqwei also seems interesting, his origin in particular was quite nice and fresh.

The Gorraran scenes felt kind of odd to me somehow. The mood felt...jumpy.
Also saw a few grammar errors but I forgot to type em out out here...geh.
DF MQ  Post #: 123
2/12/2013 16:49:36   
Razen
Member

What can I say? The times took their toll on the lich.

As for the grammatical errors, bah.

Though, mind specifying with the Gorraran scenes? I wrote them...at pretty different times, so that's likely why. >_>;
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 124
2/12/2013 17:30:35   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Razen: Definitely an improvement.

I cannot comment much on Gorraran aside from the fact I would've surmised it to be evacuated by now, save for the bravest or most stubborn dwarves.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 125
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