I'm not convinced of the argument that divorce rate contributes to bigotry. Divorce contributes to instability in a child's upbringing, which is bad. At the same time, life expectancy is now longer (a plus, but it gives couples more time to potentially seek a divorce), women are less financially-dependent on men they marry (making it easier for them to escape a bad or even dangerous relationship, a plus), so there are reasons for the rate increase that are actually good. Many families with something besides the "normal" man+woman couple at the head (sometimes from divorce) can also function well (often with friends and relatives pitching in), and these examples can break down stereotypes. It is problematic if a single parent imposes a gender-stereotypical upbringing, but the same or worse can happen with two parents imposing a gender-stereotypical upbringing (and it's not a huge stretch to assume such adults tend to pair off), so I don't think divorce is a factor in those logistics. [This is not to say divorce is good thing, but it is a consequence of a bad marriage and an opportunity to end the bad marriage. A key is in preventing bad marriages.]
Regarding the "you're born with it / you're not born with it" argument, one's predispositions seem to be something one is born with, although it may take a while for some to manifest (sometimes puberty kicking-in can be a wake-up call). However, our own nature is often a riddle that we struggle to figure out. Finding out what we we're after (even things far beyond the scope of GLBT) is not always easy, especially when society barrages us with messages and gives us feedback about what is possible (or not possible). Many of us are born with the potential to realize certain things, but while it may seem blatantly obvious for some people, it's often contingent on certain factors drawing our attention to take us outside the path laid out for us. I'm inclined to say the person is "born with it," but "it" can be much more nebulous or difficult to pin down than we would like to accept.
Faeyrin has discussed this point to some extent, but I would like to elaborate about the "guy dresses like a girl and acts like one" discussion (the linked infograph is accurate, but it's not necessarily the best tool for understanding what's going on the first time around). Society provides a whole lot of messages to condition people to develop negative responses with this presentation, but those messages broadly center around gender norms and women being regarded as objects of desire for men (notably "women dressing and acting like men" does not typically invoke the same response, because men aren't subjected to the same standards as women). Even if people do their best to be above these messages, they are not immune to them. To grasp the issue of "why" someone presents in this way is complicated, because there are many reasons (depending on the person). For a short incomplete list:
1) He's doing it for reasons of fitting-in (trying to be funny, fulfilling a dare, doing it for Halloween)
2) He's playacting (common with kids) or doing a performance
3) The person is a drag queen (this is usually an *exaggerated* form of the female-stereotype, with an overdone appearance and personality)
4) She is transgender (female identity, yet born with male/ambiguous anatomy; may or may not undergo surgery)
5) He's a man whose presentation and expressions are naturally "feminine"
6) The person's gender identity is non-binary, genderfluid, or something outside of the usual female/male binary, and their appearance/presentation may pass for female at that time
The answer to "why" ends up being a good deal more complicated, because the reasons are all over the place, but some of these are quiet reasonable. In the case of #4 and #6, it is worth recognizing that a person may even reject the "guy" label imposed upon them (and the field of psychology has come a long way and recognized that these determinations can be healthy and functional). Nevertheless, an elephant in the room is that "dresses like a girl" and "acts line one" have the meanings they do, because these are social norms and stereotypes. If one can "unlearn" rules like "a dress means a woman" and "a train means a man," it can go a long way towards dropping associations that make us expect a particular gender and instead pay attention to the person and their thoughts. It's a long, hard road, though.
< Message edited by Kaelin -- 6/4/2014 2:01:32 >