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8/8/2012 8:34:30   
The Arcane

This thread can be used to post any novels and poems you want to share about Dynami. Big or small, it doesn't matter; all literature is welcome here!

You can also post your stories in the Legends & Lore board, especially if you'd like to recieve critique, reviews or advice on your writings.

< Message edited by Zyrain -- 8/13/2012 11:01:46 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
8/9/2012 8:21:44   

How short is short?
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 2
8/9/2012 8:46:08   
The Arcane

That's still the post from the old thread, I'm going to change it.
We need all the activity we can get, so in my opinion, just post any Dynami stories you have, no matter the size. :)
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 3
8/9/2012 17:04:20   

Alrighty then. Here's a story that I had in storage (and no, I'm not going to go through and indent every paragraph):

The Archive

The Dynami Hive had to be one of the more technologically advanced constructs in the world, the level of knowledge that was required to build it had to rival that of the Drakel, or perhaps in some areas it exceeded them. Tons of metal, crafted and built to serve as a base for operations for the Dynamo, it floated high above the ground with anti-gravitational devices, offering protection and an edge in battle. They rarely had had to prove that fact to assaulting forces, but despite that, as sentient as humans and other advanced races of Lore they also were an insectoid-race. They lived for their Queen, and if necessary, they died for the Queen and the Hive. Any threat against the Hive was answered with en masse attack, leaving foes in disorder by the suicidal rage of the defenders who were driven forward by the sound of storm they attracted above as the ground was showered by lightning from within them.

It was a marvelous place, and walking the halls of metal was an awe-inspiring experience. As a base to a clan of Paxia, there were a few members of other races there other than the Dynamo. These were people accepted into the clan, but only a few of them actually lived there. Now, three people were walking through the base towards a destination meant only for them to see.

It had only been a few days before that two of them had been confronted with a matter of utmost delicacy, and secrecy. Even while human, what was being asked of them would give them the same duties that the Dynamo had, to protect and if necessarily, die for something. What that something was, would soon be revealed to them.

The one leading them on, was an old man, sixty-two years old now, with gray thinning hair and a pair of glasses that he kept on to grant his failing eyes the last shreds of vision that they still could deliver. The other male, a youngster in his early twenties, knew who this old man was. He was the Caretaker, that’s what the young man had heard; it was the only name the Caretaker was ever referred to as.

The young man’s name was Etless Scho, he was the epitome of youth. Strong body, a healthy complexion, brown hair which would not show signs of aging for decades to come. And for over a year now, he had been a part of Dynami. It was the wonders of the very place he now was walking in which had entranced him before, and being accepted into the clan had filled his heart with child-like joy. It had taken him weeks to even see all that the clan’s base held within, save of course the areas which were off-limits for all but the Dynamo and a select few. All in good time, he had thought. And now it seemed that time had come.

The other was a young woman, not much younger than he was, she too had sought to be a part of the clan and had been accepted, although a few months later than he had. He did not really know her that well, save for a few short conversations in the past where he had learned her name. Elina. He had not asked if it was her first or surname, seeing how she kept to herself more than conversed with others. She was a difficult person to have a conversation with. The only other thing that he had learned, was that she was very careful about her red hair. She always kept it at shoulder-length. He didn’t remember a single time that it had been any longer, or shorter.

Their journey through the clan base had gone well beyond the normal limits of access for the two of them. The old man was leading them on ever deeper, through numerous hallways, sealed doors which required access codes, and now even for him to place his palm on a device on the wall. The further they went, the stricter the entrance requirements became, it seemed. Obviously the Dynami were past the stage where the strictest entry requirement for a door was a magical spell, or a set of words.

“It won’t be long now.”

The old man spoke to them without turning back, instead looking at the opening doors and walking through. The whole journey that had begun a few days ago was still as much of a mystery than it was when two members of the Dynamo had approached them, and told them that after much discussion and careful consideration that the two of them had been selected for a task so important that an opportunity like it would never represent itself to them again in their entire lives. Of course both of them had agreed, even when they had only so few details. Only the place to be, where the Caretaker had been waiting for them. The old man had not told them anything new when they met him, instead he began to lead them through the Hive.

“One last door.”

The old man was the only one who had spoken anything the whole time they had spent walking, while Etless simply couldn’t think of words to say, he felt as nervous as Elina seemed to be. Neither of them knew what lay ahead, and what all the secrecy was for.

The old man stood in front of the wall and a machine scanned his face, a beam of light focusing on his eyes. A few beeps later the final doors began to slide open and the old man turned to face the two quiet followers behind him, who now aimed quick peers through the door to see what was inside.

“I’m sorry it has been like this, no one telling you anything, but believe me when I say that it comes with a reason. Now, both of you, I welcome you to the heart, and the most well-kept area of the Hive.”

“Welcome to The Archives.”

The Caretaker led them on again and as they passed to a hallway unlike the others they had been to, the doors behind them closed. A gasp escaped Elina, and even Etless was forced to mutter his surprise under his breath from what he saw.

The hallway had windows giving view into a large hall which’s floor was dozens of meters below them. Numerous Dynamo could be seen working there, but it was not on their normal Hive-related duties. They were working around machinery unlike anything they had seen in the Hive, vehicles, bipedal and what had to be machines and tools for war. The whole sight was as if seeing an army preparing for war.


The old man raised his hand as if to silence Etless as he opened his mouth the first time to ask questions, a number of them.

“I will tell you in full detail when we reach our destination. Please, this way.”

They did not get far before it was Elina who spoke her first words. They were the same that Etless would have asked the Caretaker. But her question he did answer.

“What is that place?”

“Just a research room, one of many. If you think that was amazing, just wait until I am done explaining the situation in full detail.”

The Caretaker’s answer was enough for the two of them at the moment although now there was another question in its place. What were they researching exactly? There was something familiar about the machines down below that Etless could not quite figure out. It was as if he had seen something like it in the past, but it was impossible. Nothing like the things below them could exist, outside of the Hive of course. But despite his reassurances the feeling stayed.

With the Caretaker leading them they passed several other research areas, some as large as the one they had first passed, others had been rooms that were connected directly to the hallway. In them, items both large and small were being studied carefully by the Dynamo within. Finally they reached the end of the line, to a sturdy door that looked like it had been built simply to last. Guarding it were two Dynamo, hovering above the ground, they slowly turned to face the three approaching them, and the door they were guarding.

“It’s alright, they are with me.”

Silent, the Dynamo looked at the Caretaker before slowly turning to face down the hallway again. They were warrior drones, unlike workers of the Hive who were fully able to talk with each other and others the warriors were unable to communicate with anyone but the Dynamo and lived only for a singular purpose of protecting the Hive. These two however were special, stationed there to protect that one spot. The door slowly began to slide to the side and as the Caretaker walked in so did Etless and Elina, both stopping briefly to make sure the warriors would not do anything sudden. They did not for now the two of them were of no concern for the guards.

Lights turned on one at a time in the room the Caretaker entered, and as the room became fully lighted the door behind them closed. Raised on pedestals were numerous things, some of them armor, others were weapons of different sort, swords, guns very much alike the ones Drakel used, and there were many things that one could not even dare to guess what they were. All of them were behind sturdy glass that concealed them within as if to protect them from thieves, or perhaps, others from them, for all of the objects were horrifying to the human mind. It was as if the designers of the items had only the aspect of instilling fear on their mind, alien faces, spikes, engraved eyes were present on all of them, they menaced with agony and horror, mouths were forever screaming silently. It was a technological horror show.

The Caretaker clapped his hands together, breaking the trance the two had fallen into as they gazed on the things that were surrounding them.

“Right, let us get started on your initiation. This place, the heart of the Archive, is the sole reason the Hive was built so many years ago.”

“What are these things?”

Etless was walking around a case of body-armor, looking at it with the eyes of a curious child. He saw his own reflection looking back at him from the armor’s gleaming surface. It was as if the entire set was made of obsidian, or at least a material very similar to it.

“Artifacts left behind by a horrible enemy which disappeared many, many years ago. Whether defeated, or driven away that we still do not know. But they did exist, that is for certain, and what they used to wage war with have been scattered across this world. The first of their creations was discovered well over a century ago, here in Paxia, in one of the caves that the Dynamo used during those days to live within. They were curious of course, horrified, but curious, of the technology that was so far ahead of all the races of Lore. In time they found other such items of the same nature, some on Paxia, others, on the mainland and beyond. While it took years to even achieve a level of understanding to allow the basic of functions of the items, eventually they were able to use them with complete control.”

The Caretaker turned around at a case which withheld a cannon, it was small enough to carry with your arms with ease, at least that was how it seemed.

“Of course, most of the items the Dynamo found were weapons. Horrible, horrible weapons. They thought long and hard what they should do with them, destroy them for the good of Lore, or save them for the future in case of an another Great War. Eventually, they came in terms with the latter of choices, horrible as the weapons were, they were too valuable to simply destroy. Of course in time the Dynamo had found and reclaimed within their lairs so many of the items that it was becoming dangerous to even hide and protect them . At the time, their knowledge of the technology was so far already that they began to build the ultimate fortress to hold the items in. That fortress is the Hive.”

The Caretaker paused, from the look of the faces of Etless and Elina, they needed a bit of time to let all that sink in.

“So, the makers of these things, were they from Lore?”

The Caretaker shook his head.

“No, they did not come from Lore, but from beyond the stars. We have been unable to find conclusive data of their point of origin. The few things we do know of them was their insatiable thirst for conquest but why eludes us as well.”

Elina was wandering around just as curious as Etless was, she had pressed herself hard for her mind to be able to capture everything around her, and what was being told by the Caretaker. Amidst all that, she asked him a question of her own.

“Where have you learned all that?”

“Of the creators of the items? Among the things that the Dynamo have found during the years, there have been a few data-devices. It took decades to get them open, but after the first one cracked by our efforts, the others followed soon after. However, most of the data within them was not very useful to us.”

“What was in them?”

“Stories. Journals of soldiers past, a single letter home by someone, to his or her family. There were a few technical blueprints and manuals to some of the devices we have, and for a few that we still have not found during our search around the world.”

“You’re still looking for them?”

“Of course. If forces of evil would get their hands on even one of the items left behind by their creators, the results would be devastating. Our agents journey across the world, hunting after stories, rumors of strange things being sold by gravehunters or your average street peddler. Their task is to find the items, obtain them and send them back to the Hive for study and confirmation whether or not it is one of the items we are looking for. Most of the times they send us back simply foreign items that originate from Lore, but every once in a while, they actually do find an item, or simply information of the location of larger items, that require a team to extract.”

“So you know how many items there are out there?”

The Caretaker chuckled.

“We do not have the slightest of clue. All of the items have long since de-activated or drained the last of their power source. We are forced to look for them with our own eyes and ears.”

“What about the cannons which activated and began bombarding Paxia?”

Elina’s question cut at the Caretaker like a knife. He kept a polite smile, but she had hit a nerve.

“Embarrassing as it is to admit, you are right. After all this time, we were unable to find them even when they were basically in front of our eyes. After their destruction, we secretly obtained a few of the destroyed cannons and studied them, and from what we have come to understand, they… They are special. The material they are built from seems to have been actually able to convert solar energy for power, keeping the machine fed with enough power to stay in stand-by mode. And for the reason we were unable to find them, we found the remains of a cloaking device within one of them. Apparently, we theorized, while in stand-by mode, most of the energy was being directed for the cloak, that rendered the machine unseen.”

“So that’s why no one ever found them until they began to fire.”

“Yes, exactly. Since they were located in the extreme locations as they were, chances of anyone finding them even by accident were slim to none. It was simple bad luck that they stayed undiscovered as long as they did.”

Finally Etless thought of having seeing enough, and asked the question which he had not had a moment to ask.

“So, what were they called? The creators, I mean.”

“From what we were able to translate, they referred to themselves as the Shadowscythe.”

“How appropriate of a name with a taste of design like this.”

Hearing Elina’s comment on the Shadowscythe amused the Caretaker, and at the same time, gave a sense of relief. Both of them were reacting relatively calmly having been shown, and told, what was the greatest secret of the Dynami. Truly, they were the best of candidates that had been selected.

“Yes, I must agree with you, the first weeks after I began to work here I had nightmares of a pair of earrings. They sang to me in those dreams, terrible songs. Then again, later we found out that they were a torture device meant to read the mind of the person they were on while inflicting searing pain. The whole experience taught me to never do anything unnecessary with any of the items which are here.”

“So, if the other rooms were for research what is this one for? Storage?”

“Something like that, yes. The other research rooms are for studying and understanding how the items work, there are a number of storage rooms such as this one, but this one has a very specific purpose. In here, are stored the most dangerous of items. It is heavily guarded of course, and I am the only one with access, besides the Dynamo of course. Even if someone was able to infiltrate the Hive, they would have to pass hundreds of workers and soldiers, and cut through dozens of locked hallways in order to get here and I guarantee you, none who tried would survive.”

The Caretaker paused again, his heart had begun to race towards the end of that description. Suddenly his eyes gleamed, as if he thought of something.

“Here, follow me, I’ll show you something.”

The Caretaker led them to a most curious of sights. A three-pronged pedestal stood tall, powering a bubble of electricity above it, which held a single object. It was a gauntlet, made of the same black gleaming metal as all the other items. It had claws with which anyone would have been easily able to rend flesh, and just like the other items, this too was adorned with one of those terrifying designs. A long alien face, teeth bent outwards, frozen in a scream of anger and pain.

“I wouldn’t advice touching the field. It would kill you instantly.”

The Caretaker’s advice was heard, even when the two of them were again captivated by the thing in front of them.

“What is it?”

“That, is the most valuable, the most dangerous of items that we have found, and hopefully will ever found. We gave it the name Hand of God.”

“That’s quite a name. What does it do then? Raise the dead?”

“No, that is for other devices. This gauntlet, is a Mana-control device. Anyone wearing it would be able to dispel any magical attack thrown at them, or to gather all Mana within an area to a single spot, condense it, and release all the energy in a massive explosion. It would give anyone, even the most poorest of Magic user’s skill and power that would rival and even exceed the greatest of Archmages. There are numerous uses for it as long as it has Mana to control. In a world like ours, with an abundance of magical power, this item is too dangerous for use and it’s kept sealed here, possibly forever. In case you wonder, it’s destruction has been suggested but it’s Mana-controlling abilities could be of use if used for the purposes of good helping others instead of causing destruction as it was originally made. It is, like everything else here, too valuable to destroy.”

“Why are you telling us all of this?”

Elina was again there with her sudden questions.

“The Dynamo have decided that a new Caretaker is in place. It has been a topic for many years now, but they have been reluctant to reveal this secret to anyone else until now. I’m growing old, and I’m not getting any younger. They need someone outside of Dynamo to act as the Caretaker, as preparation for the day when we can finally use what we have for the good of the world.”

“And if we would say no?”

The Caretaker took a deep breath.

“I’m afraid we would be forced to wipe your memory of these past few days. You would never know you would have been taken here, and would never be able to remember what is in here.”

The Caretaker was quick to continue his sentence, as he felt it needed something to back up such extreme measures.

“I’m sure you understand just why we would be forced to act accordingly. We can’t let anyone unintended to know what we have here in the Hive. It would attract unneeded attention, and after the whole incident with the cannons… The other clans might see it as if we were responsible for the attack.”

“So you are just going to keep everything here a secret to the world?”
Elina’s question was something that the Caretaker himself had thought of many times in the past. The simple answer for it was a nod, but he still answered in more detail.

“Yes, what we have here, when revealed, would change Lore forever, for the better or worse. We have to carefully think when a time to reveal all of this comes, but as of now… It is too early. The world is not ready just yet. I don’t think even we are ready for such a change. So much is still unknown, so many questions… We just might have to destroy all of these in the end, who knows?”

For Etless, it made sense. The world would change when it would learn the secrets that the Dynamo already knew. The way wars were fought would change forever with the help of this technology and even to think how much the average way of life of people would change in an instant was too much. It would be a shock for a lot of people, probably for even him despite being right in the middle of it. Apparently Elina was not as deep in thought over everything, or then she was able to wade her way through the whole situation calmly and rationally, for she asked again a question from the Caretaker.

“Do you want our answer right now?”

“No, heavens not. This is not a light decision; I hope you understand that if you would agree to become the next Caretaker, you would be bound to the Hive for the rest of your life. The Dynamo require someone willing to dedicate their entire being for this cause, of course you would be looked after and taken care, your every whim in accommodation would be fulfilled, it would be an easy life but with great responsibility. It would take years even to understand everything we already have, not to mention what items are still out there.”

The Caretaker obviously cared for his work, everything he had spoken of it had been with great compassion and enthusiasm that was rare in men his age. Other men his age would have retired by now, spending time in taverns and drinking what remained of his liver to ruin, but here he was, tending to mysteries that would silence even the most world-seen adventurer. The tour however was over, as the Caretaker explained, for there still was much work for him to do, and he had already taken too long with their introduction. He led them out to a pair of Dynamo warriors that had arrived as escorts to their quarters. They would be given two days to think about their answer, and during that time, they could not leave the Hive, and of course, talking to anyone else what they had seen was strictly prohibited. They could travel freely within the base, but leaving with what they now knew was not an option. But the last thing the Caretaker said, was something that hit both Etless and Elina hard.

There could only be one Caretaker. The Dynamo had been adamant about that, it was deemed too risky to have more than one, and even if both of them would be willing to take the task, only one would be chosen by the Dynamo. The other would undergo the memory wipe, and would be none the wiser about the secrets within the Hive.

Night time arrived, but within his room it was impossible to say whether it was day or night. Only the clock within told what time it was, but at the moment it didn’t matter. He could not sleep. There was no room for it in him, he was furious in thought. Was he really ready for something like this? A part of him was screaming that he was ready, that he wanted to know more, that he wanted to know everything there was about the items, their secrets, and the Shadowscythe.

But another part was indecisive, and it was responsible for keeping him awake. Could he really abandon his life in the outside for the one that the Dynamo would grant? He had always been a traveler in heart, settling for as long as he had in the Dynami was already proving hard, there still was so much he would have wanted to see and do, and that was a problem. The scholar and adventurer within him were in battle, one wished to stay and learn, while the other to leave and travel, even if meant a memory wipe. Maybe it would be easier to just have your memory erased, for right now the things he knew, weighed as much as the entire world upon him.

He closed his eyes, for even with his internal conflict, fatigue was coming down upon him. He wanted to sleep, and think this through with a fresh mind the first thing tomorrow. But not even a hour would pass before he would be for a rude awakening.

The Dynamo guards outside the storage room which had seen three human visitors earlier, were as composed as ever. They hovered still, their senses sharpened to the edge, no sound or movement could have escaped them before being noticed, reported, and acted accordingly depending on the level of threat they would decide on. Yet, what would happen in the next few moments would be too fast for even them.

Above them, through the roof of the floor they were on, spanned a large network of ventilation shafts. It was necessary in a closed environment as theirs, of course it was too small for any thief to crawl through, even through the widest of parts only a child could have crawled forward and even then they would have been stopped by the shrinking pathways that air was travelling through. Even so, it was not impenetrable.

Metal bent instantly as something above the guards forced its way through with immense force and speed. There was no time for them to react, even to look up what in the next moment would kill both of them. A crude description, one based on a quick glimpse at what burst from the ventilation shafts, would be a metal spider. However, they lacked a second body part that spiders had; their body was but one sphere with four metal legs on the side for travelling across surfaces. Of course it was not enough for an instant kill, but the blade that they had below their bodies was long and sharp enough for the task.

It took them only a second to pierce through the shaft, and embed the blades through the brains of the two Dynamo guards, who both fell to the floor. It had been instant death for both of them. What had killed them were trap-devices that the Shadowscythe had built and placed within protected areas, they detected life signs that came too close to the area they were planted in, and if the scans showed a lifeform other than Shadowscythe, they would speed through the air faster than any arrow, always aiming for the brain of the creature.

However, a quick reprogramming would turn them from traps to conventional weapons, going as far as giving them specific commands, which in this case was to kill the two guards.

Not far from them, a panel in the wall was kicked open from the inside. Nothing however came to view, the only sound was the panel falling on the floor. And in the next moment, someone appeared from nowhere to the hallway.

It was Elina. Her body was trembling, she took long gasps of air in and out, with a face as pale as she had seen a ghost. The reasons for her behavior were obvious, she had just killed. She had never taken a life before and even with all the time she had prepared herself for the situation, it was nowhere close to reality. And she had killed two at once.

The sound of alarm that was heard around the Hive snapped her out of her shocked self, and replaced with a hasty, yet calm efficiency towards the goal she was there for. She took out a small handheld device from her pocket, and connected three cords to a terminal that was hidden behind a panel in the wall. She knew exactly what she was looking for, and how she was to get it. It took her fifteen seconds to get the door to the storage open.

It was the alarm which snapped Etless awake, not to mention all the commotion outside his room. Opening the door he saw were numerous Dynamo and other members of the clan, human and other races, running through the hallways, geared for combat. He stopped one of them at random.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“They say there’s a thief in the Hive. Every exit has been ordered to be closed. Whatever he stole, must’ve been important.”

As the person ran towards his post, a horrible feeling took over Etless. A thief and a complete lockdown of the Hive. There was but one thing that he could think of which would mean such drastic actions. He began running as well, not towards the exits of the Hive, but towards the Hive, where the Caretaker had taken him and Elina. He prayed that he was wrong.

He had no problems getting there, the few Dynamo he saw on his way passed him on their way to protect the exits and ensure that no one would get away. The doors which had previously been sealed were now wide open. Only when he reached the door which led to the first research room, did he see that it was closed, and outside, were four Dynamo along the Caretaker. The old man noticed Etless as he got closer, and what image he had given of a calm and friendly old man, was now gone. It was replaced with anger and confusion.

“What are you doing here!?”

“I heard there’s a thief, and-“

“Yes there is a thief! And they’ve locked us out.”


“I’m as surprised as you are, damn it! Somehow, someone has been able to breach the door to the storage, and lock all the doors connecting of three hallways towards it!”

“How is that possible?!”

The Caretaker bit his lip, carefully thinking if he should answer. But seeing as Etless could be the next Caretaker, and he would eventually find out even if he would not be told by anyone, the old man answered him.

“The Hive was made by reverse-engineering Shadowscythe technology. It’s not perfect, so if anyone had control devices that the Shadowscythe made, it technically is possible to override the security protocols that we placed and input their own protocols.”

“I thought only the Dynamo knew of the Shadowscythe and their artifacts.”

“Well, so did I! You learn something new every day, even when you get as old as I do!”

The Dynamo were hard at work at opening the door, for them, mental control of the devices within the Hive was possible with low energy currents, it was the same as if a human was pressing on keys in the panels, without the hands. But it was no use. One of the Dynamo said that it would still take a long time to break through the lockdown order that had been granted, ten, maybe fifteen minutes, and that was just for this one door. If the thief was as smart as he was, and he had access to Shadowscythe tech, it was a possibility that all doors had been given different lockdown codes and each would have to be solved separately.

“How did they get in, did they go through where we did or-“

“I don’t know! No, they didn’t! There is always a number of Dynamo within the research rooms through the day, not to mention the guards to the storage. Anyone walking through the hallways would have been noticed dozen times over, and if it was anyone unintended we wouldn’t have this conversation right now!”

Etless was helpless in the situation, as was the Caretaker who could only watch the Dynamo attempt at cracking the code. The thief had gotten into the storage room, and somehow had been able to pass all those Dynami. But how is that possible? Finally, a thought hit him and he said it out loud.

“What about outside? Is there any way they could have come in from there?”

The old man snapped his fingers, and pointed at Etless.

“That’s it!”

The Caretaker left the Dynamo at work as he began running the opposite direction from the storage room.

“There are a number of repair tunnels around the Hive, which go through the interior, and the exterior!”

He stopped in front one of the walls, and pulled off a panel in the wall. He crouched over as Etless arrived, and the young man got down as well. What he saw behind the panel, was a ladder and a small pathway.

“But you couldn’t find these unless you knew where they were. I doubt that anyone but you, me and the Dynamo know of their existence. Well, us and the thief. And if what I think is true, we are in the worst possible situation.”

“What is the worst possible situation?”

“That the thief is one of Dynami. Here, take this.”

The Caretaker reached for the inside of his jacket, and pulled out something which he passed on to Etless. It was a gun.

“What do you want me to do with this?”

“Use it. Whatever the thief broke in for, we can’t let escape the Hive, no matter what.”

The cold in the old man’s voice told enough for Etless, to protect the Hive, and its secrets, required extreme measures. It was shoot to kill with this thief, no other option at least in the old man’s opinion. The Caretaker went inside the pathway, and began climbing up, Etless following right after him. Digging a small device from his pocket, the Caretaker clicked on the end of it and began speaking.

“We have reason to believe that the thief knows of the repair tunnels. Warriors should be stationed around the entrances outside the Hive, and see if we can go past the doors that the thief locked down.”

The Dynamo however, were already on their way through the repair tunnels, six warriors in fact through the very same which the thief had used to enter. It was a narrow path for them, but they went through faster than a human could climb, levitating barely above the walls surrounding them, they slid through the air with grace that only they could pull off in the tunnels.

They exited the tunnel, and one by one, the warriors made it to the hallway where their two brethren lay dead, and saw that the door to the storage was left wide open. The thief had bothered only to close the doors before it. With their squad assembled, they charged the room in pairs.

It hurts.

The pain was the only thing that Elina could think of, it was the only thing she could feel. It pass over her body in waves as she held her right hand tight. Something within her was moving, something horrible, but at the same time, it felt so good. She was leaning on a wall when she saw the Dynamo warriors, who noticed her at the same time. She was next to the pedestal which held the Hand of God. The bubble had been deactivated; the gauntlet removed and now worn on her right hand. Droplets of blood fell from the openings in the gauntlet, staining the floor and her body red.

The Dynamo asked no questions, gave no time to explain herself before the first two gathered energy from within their body, and showered her with lightning. She screamed and held her hands outwards, in a futile effort to stop the attack.

The lightning split where it met her hand, her right hand to be exact. A deep and dark voice within her was whispering her things, telling her all the secrets, all the horrible things that it knew and was able to teach. This was just one of the first, and most basic of them. Splitting thunder like this would have been impossible had it been natural, but the Dynami created the energy within them. It was nothing more but magical power turned to electricity, and it was that magical power, the Mana, that the glove split, and as she closed her right hand, the lightning ceased to be, cracking loudly as it vanished.

Placing her other hand on the floor in an effort to raise herself, she pointed her hand to the pair of Dynami which had attacked her. The glove told her something, and she attempted just that. The Dynamo warriors exploded from within one after another, the room, other Dynamo and she were showered with their insides and pieces of carapace. Through the storm of gore, the other Dynamo warriors charged forth with no fear, the Hive had to be protected, and so did the secrets, even at the cost of their lives. It was a futile attempt, one by one they met the same fate as the others, and as the last of them exploded into fine bloody mist, Elina gathered her pained form up. Stained with blood of both Dynamo and herself she began staggering out of the storage, and towards the repair tunnel.

News traveled fast within the mental network of the Dynamo, and reached the Caretaker fast. The device he had spoken to earlier spoke now to him, apparently it was a worked both ways.

“We have identified the thief, and confirmed that she has stolen an artifact.”


“Yes. The thief is Elina. Caretaker, we cannot let her escape. She has the Hand. She used it to kill the warriors who confronted her without mercy.”

The old man only slowed down when he heard what had been stolen, but was quick to regain his pace, even climbing faster now up the stairs. Finally he reached the end of the tunnel, and climbed up, crawling through a path that would lead to another set of stairs. He shouted instructions to Etless as he went.

“Turn left into the first tunnel which splits from this one! I’ll go down this path, for if I’m right of where she will come out, we can surround her! After you turn left, just keep going straight until you get to the exit! When outside, go right, and be careful, it’s not exactly comfortable out there for us humans!”

By the time Etless had gotten to the split path to the left, the Caretaker had already vanished from sight, only sounds from ahead told that he was still going forward within the tunnel. For an old man, he was in a surprisingly good shape.

The hatch which led to the repair tunnel opened automatically as Etless approached it. He left it carefully after checking his footing. Outside was but a meter of a pathway which had been constructed, on one side was the Hive, on the other was nothing but air and a drop through several hundred meters onto the ground. A threat for humans, but the Hive had been built with the Dynamo in mind originally, they were the only ones who did the repair work around and inside the Hive.

The weather was bad, rain and wind struck against Etless as he was forced to a slow lurch on the pathway. He could barely see in front, but as thunder struck, he was granted natural sporadic lighting. A real blessing, although he hoped that it would not decide to strike the Hive the next time.

He could not think how long he had gone against the rain, wind, and constant fear of falling down to his death as he went through the narrow path with nothing to hold onto. Suddenly he thought of hearing something, and slowly he got the weapon that the Caretaker had given him, holding it tightly. He hadn’t even asked how it worked, but the moment he found the trigger, he figured all he had to do was aim and pull. No questions asked, no hard feelings. It’s just work, that’s all. All for the Hive, and so on.

The next time thunder struck, Elina and Etless saw each other. Etless was quick to point the gun at her, who was now too weak to even raise her hand to do anything to stop it. Etless knew what was at stake, with her stealing the Hand, but could not bring himself to just shoot her.

“Give it up Elina, there’s no way to go! It’s not worth dying!”

She did not answer, she could only lean against the Hive and bleed. It was a struggle for her to keep from falling down, talking to him was not a possibility. Too much distraction.

“Just give up, and let us have the Hand back. I’m sure we can still work this out.”

There was a flash of blue as something hit the pathway Elina stood on. Walls of light appeared around her as if meant to imprison her. The Caretaker shouted from behind her.

“Shoot her! That cage won’t hold for long!”

With what strength she had, Elina rammed against one of the walls surrounding her but it showed no signs of bending. They only let something in, but kept anything within them from going out. Etless still held the gun aimed at her, but could not just pull the trigger and shoot her.

“Damn it Etless! Shoot her!”

“I’m sorry.”

It was all that Etless could whisper, as he pulled the trigger. A shot of light went straight through Elina’s body, which wavered and vanished. The old man cursed out loud, and what Etless had thought of a killing shot, turned out to be a miss. She had vanished.

“What happened!? Where is she?”

The Caretaker closed the prison, and got the device from the ground.

“She tore open reality, and connected two places in a pathway of magic. She’s gone.”

The old man cursed out loud again as he tossed the device he held as far as he could. Then he cursed again in his mind when he realized he would have to go and get it back.

“And so is the Hand of God.”

A medical team was fast at work, raising Elina to stretchers and rushing her to the infirmary. Doctors were shouting orders as their assistants handed them over materials in perfect synchrony. She had lost a lot of blood, but they were able to stop the bleeding on her hand and transfuse new blood for her body which began to slowly stabilize. She had been awake through the entire ordeal, unable to feel anything and to hear anything but the whispers within her mind, and the dark promises of power.

As one of the doctors was examining the hand which held the gauntlet, another man entered the room she was resting in. He gave her a friendly smile, and pulled a chair to sit down on.

“Hey. Good work out there.”


Her voice was but a whisper, but she forced on a smile as well.

“What about the others?”

The man hushed her, there was no reason to exert herself too much right now.

“They will be leaving the Hive in the next few days when things calm down over there. I’m sorry that you had to go through all that,but it was the only way, you understand, right? To think that the Dynami had the Hand, there really couldn’t be a worse place to get it from.”

She only nodded as answer. The man turned his attention to the doctor examining the hand.

“How is it?”

“It has fused entirely with her hand, and is seems to be in perfect condition.”

“So… We have to remove her hand to get the gauntlet?”

Suddenly Elina was wide awake, and began to shout weakly that they were insane, no one would just go and cut her hand off for the gauntlet. She was soon silent when she felt cold steel pressing against her skin. The man sitting down had brandished a knife in such speed that she had not even seen him do so, or even bringing it down on her throat.

“We have looked long for the Hand, and now that you have it, there are only two options left. We will take it either with you, or without you. Do you understand what I mean?”

“..ye-yes, I understand.”

The man withdrew the knife, and patted Elina on the cheek a few times.

“That’s a good girl. Prepare her for the surgery.”

The man left Elina alone with the doctor, and team of medical personnel who soon entered the room to prepare her for the removal of the Hand. He was met with another man, who joined him on his walk through the cold rock hallways.

“I heard that Elina came back with the Hand.”

“Yes. Looks like she took too long with returning though, we’ll have to remove her hand to get the gauntlet.”

“Sounds extreme.”

“I know. I wish it didn’t have to be like this, but she just doesn’t have the resolve to use it. if she did, she would not be in that state.”

Deep within Northlands, in the coldest of places where no human could live and only the hardiest of beasts roamed, a massive network of tunnels and facilities of study had been carved within a mountain. The two men leaned on a rail and watched large machines raise dust as they stomped on the floor, carrying building materials for the workers, placing built pieces in place for others to connect. All of the dark machines, and people were working on the same thing within the great hall. A massive craft was being assembled by them. Sparks flew from where people were connecting metal together, while others still struggled with the interior wirings and getting the computer of the ship working. However, even when rebuilt, it would require a key. And that key, was the Hand of God.

“It won’t be long now. They said that it would take about six months to finish fixing the hull, and placing all machinery would take another six months. The main cannons are still a concern though, the mechanics said that they have been damaged, but promised that they would at least get them to work at 50% capacity with no danger.”

“Excellent. It has been a long road, but all of our hard work will be worth it. The era of fear and conquest will soon be over.”

“It is time for peace.”
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 4
8/17/2012 15:09:37   

The Old Ones return, strike right under the belt.
Study results show 10 out of 10 people who matter don't like Paxia.

The peaceful days filled with joy and pleasantry were horribly disrupted for many, as a group of malcontents suddenly rushed forth, wheezing and coughing a poorly translated offense at the unjust treatment they had been forced to endure for two long years! Who were these strange horrible people that decided to start trouble for no good reason? Our sources tell that they are a group of things called Paxians, hailing from a part of AdventureQuest long forgotten, only whispers of past glory and horrible flamewars remained of it, until now that is.

The incident began as a thread was opened for discussion regarding the lack of updates for Paxia, a state which it has suffered for two years. This was met with aghast, since no one even knew what a Paxia was. It seemed that the thread would sink and die mercifully without any posts. And then they, as many have referred to the people claiming to descend from that horrid place amidst their own sobbing, resulting from conversing with the horrors, they came forth. Many law-abiding forumites fled for their lives to escape the jabbering that spawned forth from the "twisted gibberholes" which worked as replacements for mouths for the Paxians.

They immediately began to go in full detail about the lack of updates for Paxia, bringing up past notes from game developers along the lines of "regarding about plans that at some point in the future would be implemented" and then, can you believe this, they said that it was unacceptable! The gall of them! How could they dare state such a claim? To the misfortune of many, they soon delved ever deeper to their blasphemy, claiming that two years with "no significant updates" was not enough, and worse of all, they stated that the game staff was responsible for fooling them time after time about an update just around the corner, and how they were disappointed time after time!

Valiant defenders soon rose up and began lashing at the creatures, ensuring the mental health of many young maidens and the less masculine males. Even members of the staff descended like angels from heaven upon these devils.

"I refuse to release something early just to placate those who would prefer not to wait for the higher degree of quality. Because the majority are quite happy being patient and enjoying the much better quality they receive as a result of their patience" they sang, and the forum held it's breath. Would the demons be vanguished, having so utterly been crushed under the majestic word of the divine ones?

No. They did not fall back.

They kept on, gibbering and demanding that something had to be done! We could tell you what things they said, but such things should not be printed on paper, for they would surely drive you mad. Instead, have this comment that one particular helpful person put down as their own input.

"Eh all this makes me feel bad seems like the AE staff does so much for the AE community and doesn't get enough in return they deserve thier own In-game holiday or something heh"

Or maybe we can get away with one example. Parents, it is advised that you take the children to the next room, and burn this article as soon as you are done reading it, for what is about to follow is not for those faint-of-heart on a 10-meter radius.

"You guys really like to be as blurry as possible, eh? I dislike that, but it could just be me. I guess I'll just have to ignore each and every post you make and wait for actual releases. "

We might get in trouble for releasing that, but we will do it regardless! The people have the right to know that someone out there insulted the staff!

How the people defending the staff managed to gather their courage against such heretics, we might never know, but we did manage to get a short explanation from one man who stepped up to the cause, demanding to only be referred to as "xxLoveGodValentinesxx" instead of Steve Shinnings from Springfield.

"All I needed was one look at them, and I knew what had to be done. Two seconds and I already knew everything about Paxia, and it had to be stopped. There are bigger things to think about, I heard that one guy said that they might do another Dragon war soon, an undead Dragon war, and release a dragon-slaying weapon! Now that's something to wait for!"

This courageous man is not alone on his opinion, as even a staff member commented on the situation.

"At times, I've thought that perhaps the best content update to Paxia might be a large bomb carefully dropped from overhead."

We are still waiting for that bomb, let us all join hands and pray to God that it's launched soon. Since we are a serious newssource, and publish only the most serious of news, we have to include differing opinions because of union rules, bleh. Here is one from some guy who thought that they might have joined Paxia eons ago.

"so like i went there and thought about signing up to a clan but then i realized that hey all they have different is their element and yeah i just gave up at that point, pointless, the whole place"

How they dared enter such a place is a mystery, more on that on the daily radio feed so stay tuned to it!

And frankly, here is where our story ends. As if silenced by the hand of a merciful God, the Paxians retreated. Biologists have commented that this is because it is once again time for these trollish creatures to return to their underground caverns to feed, and brood in silence for the next two years until their migration habits would kick in again, and they would return to threaten the daily lives of everyone, everywhere, in both past and future because they are also timeskippers, with wings that glitter with rainbows and unicorn-dust.

Paxians, a relic from ages past which is best left ignored because they're like, really annoying, or a hostile entity which calls for extinction as soon as possible? Join us next week as we discuss the matter over with our specialists who have two weeks in academic studies under their belts.

Up next, a major representative from the AQ GD-forum will be here for interview and to tell us about the threat to the eyesight of everyone, capital letters, and how in his opinion their use should be a bannable offense.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 5
8/17/2012 15:14:08   

Shocking revelation from Nocturu: "The skeleton's aren't real!"
Explanation finally for the clan's animatronics budget.

Visitors to the Nocturu castle last week were shocked when one of the guard skeletons suddenly broke into pieces and began to emit sparks, resulting in a fire which burned most of the carpets in the room.

While evading the question how a skeleton can start sparking the Nocturu clan leaders finally confessed that for years now they've used animatronics with the skeletons placed around the castle, instead of necromancy-raised skeletons as previously thought.

"At first we had enough money to pay for all our necromancers, but with the decrease in funding by clan members we just didn't have enough to keep it up, so we were forced to cut corners a bit."

In the aftermath of the skeleton breakdown, Nocturu officials have neen pushing hard for a return to their old ways, with illegal immigrant labor cheaper than ever.

"You'd be surprised what people will agree to for some food and shelter," A Nocturu official commented on the matter.

Nautica is no more!
Local dynamite fisherman finally released of all charges, previously suspected responsible for the disappearance of the entire clan Nautica.

The clan of Water is no more, declared by the leader of Nautica(who is also named Nautica, as well sick and tired of accusations of narcissism). Early this morning, the last member left the clan to pursue "more exciting jobs, like a farmer or a show dancer", and rather than let the clan fall to the ownership of the first other-clanner who would visit it, Nautica repurposed the clan base into an underwater five-star hotel.

Nautica von Herman, as he now calls himself along titles such as "Owner" and "Big Boss", had this to say:

"We're currently looking for people to work at all sorts of jobs. Janitors, bag boys, maids, chef's. Everyone's free to come on over and check if they're who we're looking for! Oh, and someone to feed the jellyfish too. Wouldn't want it to die, haha! Like last time."

Known Dynami opposition leader passed away peacefully.
Dynami leadership to hold parties instead of a funeral to ease the pain over Mr. X's death.

Disaster struck the minority of Dynami this week, as Mr. X, the leader of their party and spokesman for their radical ideas, was found dead in his apartment last night. He had always been vocal in his opposition against the secret Dynami plan to exterminate every other clan in Paxia, saying that peaceful co-existence would be a better option than to constantly work behind their backs to ensure they would not realize their imminent doom before it was too late to stop it.

Dynami officials have declared his death to be of natural causes. Mr. X had apparently caught a case of sudden death and as result, fell on his newly-acquired collection of weapons, including a spear, two daggers, a sword that fell from the mantle across the room and landed on his back and a seemingly magical axe with levitational proporties, which landed three times on his body in different locations before it ran out of magic.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 6
8/17/2012 15:16:33   

Timetravelers from the future arrive to save Lore from total destruction!
Miss their destination by a few years, are terribly sorry.

A group of ragtag adventurers, youths and elders arrived yesterday to Paxia, their goal being nothing less but saving all of Lore from a horrible threat that is gathering strength to this day!

However they immediately realized that they did not travel back enough, missing their intended destination by a few years. The leader of the group had this to comment before they went back in time some more.

"Well uhh, we intended to like, go back like fifty years or so, but looks like we should have gone back fiftytwo years. Don't worry, we'll get it right this time, but uhh. You're screwed. It's too late to stop that thing on this timeline anymore. For what's it worth, we're like, really really sorry that we doomed your entire timeline."

Aerodu relieved as they discover that thousands of clan members haven't been kidnapped after all!
Instead didn't exist at all.

A crisis began to brew yesterday in Aerodu as they suddenly realized that thousands of their members had gone missing all of a sudden, and they feared a mass kidnapping had taken place. They immediately began to investigate, and to their relief they discovered that it wasn't a case of kidnapping, but faulty counting on clan member numbers.

The result was that the clan member count was corrected from 300,656 to 1012. The person responsible for the recount preferred to stay anonymous, but was willing to explain the situation.

"Well it's fairly simple actually how this happened. I mean, after the first hundred or so, you sort of start to get bored. We figure that the original counters just went in circles around the base and counted the same people thirty or so times. I mean, with all the red robes and hoods, everyone does look the same."

Aerodu is improving the situation by handing out mandatory and easily distinguishable funny hats to its members.

A new delicacy has hit Battleon's food shelves: Zard eggs!
Tastes just like mud.

Finally tired of the same old fame and glory, Adventurers and Guardians alike have asked for something more, new and amazing to fill their guts with rather than punches from monsters.

It was the Zardhunter who came up with the solution to two problems at the same time. By netting for zard eggs, plump and slimy things, he has been able to make a lot of money selling them to pubs, inns and chef's all over Lore.

"They're light, easy to chew, what's not to love? You could pack twelve of these with you and never go hungry during your warring or questing."

The Zardhunter himself is pleased with the outcome, as some of his work load has been literally eaten away.

"Those crazy buggers(Zards), they breed fast, grow up faster and I just can't catch them all! Farmers and such called me out all the time before to help with them(Zards), or just to chew me out because a new batch was born and ransacked their place right after I got rid of their parents and elder siblings."

"Maybe I can finally take a nice long vacation after this."

Mass food poisoning cripples Battleon defenses.
Mother's love totally useless.

Nimrod, the town's current military leader, shakes his head sadly. Behind him are rows of beds that are now filled with moaning and groaning Adventurers and Guardians.

"This is the worst thing that I've ever seen happen, and I've seen Warlic turned into a super-man and into a female. Both times I was left confused."

With practically all Adventurers and Guardians now bedridden, the town is possibly facing dire times if any of the dozens of villains would decide to invade.

"This is the worst possible situation for us. Even Zorbak could take over Battleon like this."

Nautica celebrates New Years Eve with traditional fireworks display!
Accidentally declare war on Dynami! See page 2 for shocking report and pictures!
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 7
8/17/2012 15:18:53   

Warlic finally to retire with a shocking revelation!
"It was all done by mirrors!"

The most famous magician in all of Lore has finally given a confirmation that he is going to retire, but also wanted to come clean and confessed that he has never been able to do anything more magical than a candlelight dinner.

"I just like to dress like this! People always got me confused with a wizard, so eventually I just got tired and hatched the plan to use mirrors, and they bought it!"

But soon tales of his great magic abilities began to spread, and Warlic was forced to use more and more, bigger and bigger mirrors, his most ambitious project according to him was during one Dragon war where he had to make hundreds of thousands of dragons "vanish in an explosion from a joint magic-attack between me and Artix".

When asked why didn't he ever use smoke, the ex-conman revealed a severe allergy to ash.

"It's the reason I never even tried to help during the Great Fire War" he commented. He also confessed that he used mirrors to create an illusion of massive armies attacking Battleon numerous times in the past.

"Also the adventurers. I can't believe no one ever realized it."

Chosen Ones as far as the eye can see.
Battleon facing it's dullest threat yet, after the last Dragon war.

Massive rioting has left many would-be heroes behind bars, as Guardians were forced to lock up all of them after a heated argument between them turned into a brawl.

The incident began from a prophecy told by a seer, telling of a "great hero who will arise and save us all from certain doom". Before anyone knew it, Battleon was flooded with people claiming to be said hero, all of them claiming to be the one who struck down Drakonnan, Carnax and so on. Accusing each other of lying, it wasn't long before the first punch was thrown, and the whole brutal spectacle ended with several buildings burned down to the ground by the marauding horde and major public property damage.

The seer responsible for the chaos unfortunately escaped the mayhem, but was thought to have been spotted again in Lolosia shortly after another Chosen One-related accident. As Chosen One incidents continue on the raise, many families have begun moving out of major towns in hope of escaping the violence.Unfortunately as history has taught, most Chosen Ones come from distant villages and often mundane settings, only to rise up as a hero after some event or another changes their whole life.

Galanoth had little to comment on the situation as people are still clearing the debris left by the accident.

"We believe most of them realize they are pretty much a fraud, but we fear for the poor sod who really was the Chosen One."

With the town's jails full of Chosen Ones, real criminals have been given free reign, so demands for quick resolution of the situation have been called for. Galanoth assures that they have already begun to work on the situation.

"We've made a camp for the Chosen Ones to live in, where they will be taught how to concentrate."

Some important war not happening in Paxia.
Paxia residents not scared of huge, bloody war not happening on their island.

The goriest war known to Lore reaches its peak as people of Paxia go through their daily business. When asked about the long-term economic and psychologically traumatizing events of the war, an anonymous resident displayed profound discontent at the weather being kind of dry lately.

Paxians heartbreakingly praised the fashionable hats of the men coming back from the war, unware of its significance as ceremonially given to the recently deceased, but the war effort has forced into common use as materials and handpower reach an all-time, Paxian-unaware low.

A family commented on the matter.

"Can our younger kids join their brother at the circus or the boat or whatever it is he is doing? We are sure he'll be happy to see them!"

Newest hit product from Blade Co! It's the Singing Sword!

Are you tired of having to tell your heroics time after time every time you visit a tavern? With the Singing Sword, you'll never have to retell your boring adventures ever again!

15999 gold, buy now as stocks are limited!

Accidents caused by taunts of the Singing Sword are not refundable. Language spoken by Singing Sword may vary between stores.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 8
8/17/2012 15:21:25   

Scientists and other wackjobs call for yet another war on dragons!
This time for real reasons!

A group of Lore's greatest scientific minds called together a meeting early this week to convey their shocking discovery.

"During our research regarding Lore's food plants we noticed a curious trend of high yields in an erratic fashion, always followed by the crop output falling to normal levels. It has taken long but we finally have found out why there exists such a trend, and why it appears so sporadically."

"It turned out that all the times the crops were good and people had plenty to harvest just so happened to follow a brutal war with dragons, leaving thousands of their dead just rotting away in fields."

"Who would have known that all of Lore's plantlife require dragon corpses to grow with?"

The team has also warned that the past peaceful years with dragons has led to crops deteoriating all over Lore and will, rather than might, pave way to famine. Dragons have already been asked to commit mass suicide but they have yet to comply.

"It's us or them, and really, there's more where they came from."

Paxia holds it breath as biggest-ever Paxian Olympics are held!
Experts think "they held their breath too long" as no one shows up.

Once again, the crowd would have gone wild if dozens of energetic athletes from the eight clans had come to compete for the honored medals of Paxian Olympics! Stand sellers from far and wide showed up to sell their products, and assured that had anyone been there to buy them, they would have been absolutely crazy for the delights and small trinkets.

"Just look at this hat," exclaims Aeroduian stand seller XtremeFlyBoi. "It says 'I love Aerodu' on it. Imagine how many people would have wanted to buy this. I mean, who doesn't love Aerodu?"

Our Sports-announcers are here to describe in full detail, a football match between Lucian and Dynami, had it ever been played.

"No question about it Announcer #2, this game would have just started."

"Looks like there might have been some fighting over the ball just now."

"And there, from absolutely nowhere, would have come BeastWarrior Nocturne(or as his mom calls him, BWN) to take the ball!"

"What a goal that would have been!"

"No doubt about that last goal, had there been one, that Dynami defenders would be ready for a brawl- and ooh, right there a punch would have been thrown straight at a Lucian offense player!"

"As all hell would have broken loose the referee would be running straight into the middle of the fight, whistle whining and throwing red cards from left to right!"

"Ladies and gentleman, this would have been one match you would have hated to miss!"

Also in Page 3, Paxia struggling to pay back it's multi-billion gold debt, result of several failed community events.

Local nobodies demand: Lucian to face trial based on several accounts of monster-cruelty!
A daring raid by the Monster-Friends group revealed horrors within the Lucian mountain palace!

All of Paxia was utterly aghast early this week as the local activists finally released a statement that was more than hollow threats and insufferable propaganda! The group had infiltrated the Lucian clan grounds after receiving reports that monsters were being mistreated within the Clan of Light's home! And how true it was, they found out, as they found dozens of chained up Lightbringers, obviously left to their own accord without food or water!

"It's horrible. Absolutely horrible. We think they were using them as light-source."

Lucian was quick to resolve the situation by stating that the activists were lying and had staged them up, and even invited officials to check the clan halls themselves. Upon arrival, the officials were pleased to find no sign of monster-cruelty anywhere in the Palace, just a lot of bodybags, thumping chests and planks leading nowhere but to a long drop down the mountainside from several windowsills.

"Unfortunately, until concrete evidence is found, we have nothing to accuse Lucian of."

The activist group was obviously enraged, but all of their effort is going to help the Lightbringers they freed and brought to [LOCATION RETRACTED, UNLESS LUCIAN RETURNS WITH A BETTER OFFER, TAKE THAT PART OUT WHEN YOU RELEASE THIS ISSUE].

"They've been through a lot. We fear it will take several years of therapy and rehabilitation before they regain their gold and XP values for Adventurers and Guardians to kill them over after we release them back into the wild."

In response to criticism, Lucian has released an official statement promising that they will switch over to environmentally friendly Lightbringers in support of the Green Paxia movement. Which they have just coined for themselves as the creators of.

Meanwhile, people around Lore have been complaining about an eternal darkness which has begun to loom over them from the horizon, disembodied voices whispering of "His return", eternal suffering and other things which are making it hard to sleep.

New from Dynami's "For Her" branch:
Lemon-scented series-R Plasma Rifle.

"Guaranteed to leave no survivors!"
"Show your unworthy suitors what waits for them!"

The New Silverado.
2011 Wagon of the Year!

"It'll fit your entire family!"
"Guaranteed to get you through any terrain and any weather!"
"Talk to your local merchant for our offers on wagon-pulling animals!"

Wheels sold separately. May require assembling. Elgoldorado Co. is not liable for any accidents occurring during assembly or usage.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 9
8/17/2012 15:24:45   

Igneus terribly sorry for their most recent blunder.
Discover ancient civilization of dwarves living under their clan base; drown it in magma immediately after.

Workers labouring to expand the Igneus clan base were surprised while during mining they breached into a large artificial cavern, filled with living and working dwarves and the towers of stone they had built by their own hands. The dwarves in turn were surprised when a torrent of magma swept into their dwelling from the Igneus volcano. The chairman of workers replied as follows to the situation.

"It's a shame really, but you can't stop progress."

"A hollow area like that would have been disastrous for our expansion plans, we need firm ground for our bath houses and casino, they just had happened to build the entire city in the wrong place. Unfortunate, but there you have it.

While asked what was next for Igneus, the chairman replied that once the magma in the dwarven city(which according to workers had to be inhabited by at least five thousand dwarves(judging by the screams)) cools into obsidian, it will be mined out and carved into furniture and building material for their new bath houses and casino. Both projects are being relocated from their original planned area, above the dwarven city, because a clan majority vote told that they dislike walking more than five minutes to either location.

Geoto relieved to finally admit the truth.
Not actually a lion, just a really big cat.

The leader of the clan of Earth has finally come forth, saying that he has never been so relieved.

"I don't have to pretend to be a bold fearless great beast anymore! It's everything I've ever wanted! Ever since the clan opened people began to mistake me as a lion, and they were so happy and proud of it that I just couldn't break it to them."

While obviously surprised, the clan has taken the news quite well, instead of breaking down in tears and riots as many had guessed. One clan member had this to say.

"I guess it explains a few things. Like how Geoto kept bringing dead Seed Spitters to the tower entrance. And all that purring. Should have known, really."

While Geoto himself is happier than he has ever been, seers around Paxia have come forth with a warning that soon, stupid memetic shouts and silly drawn portraits of him would begun to arrive in ever greater numbers, and none would survive the horror.

Are you tired of trying to conquer the countryside with the same old sword and spear-tactic? Need something new and exciting?
Come to
Steve's Artifact Shack!

Dozens of ancient artifacts of overwhelming power at our selection, guaranteed to give you ultimate power unlike any mortal!
Steve's Artifact Shack: For the Better Insane Overlord.

Warning, side-effects include mysterious counter-artifacts rising from nowhere and ultimately leading to your downfall.

Buy two, get a
free casket and burial service!

"Hi, my name is DoomWolfKnight. A few weeks back, the doctors told me I didn't have much to live.
So, I did what I knew I had to do. I bought myself a Death Bed."

Death Bed's. Don't die like a loser, die in style!
Only 19999 gold!

DoomWolfKnight(rest in peace) approves of our product!

Now on shelves to combat flu season,Sword Cough Drops!

Having trouble lining up that crossbow shot because you keep having to cover your mouth? Look no further! Sword cough drops are a new special design of cough drops that use their unique sword shape and flavour to quite literally stab your cough in the chest. Visit your local Yulgar's Inn to pick up your package today!

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Refraining from putting the cough drops in your mouth significantly decreases your chances of death from internal bleeding.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 10
8/17/2012 15:29:17   

Parents worried for their adventuring children!
No longer adventure, spend all day killing monsters instead!

Around Lore, parents of many aspiring Adventurers and/or Guardians have noticed a discomforting trend among their children and their friends.Instead of delving into deadly dungeons or embarking in vague quests in hopes of useful treasure, they are instead spending all their time on the field, killing monsters.

"When I was young, we didn't spend time chasing after some zards, no, we kept our ears open and if someone even as much as whispered the word treasure, you can bet we were on it like Obsidia on graveyards!" comments one father, while showing off all the various scars he gained during his escapades.

The younger generation has replied that it's not something they enjoy doing, but they have to do, as times have changed from the time their parents were young.

"Just last week we wiped out a dragon army. I still need to kill 294 more monsters by Friday so I can buy a memento of that war. I'd need to kill four times that if I wanted actually useful gear from there."

"It's disgusting." comments one father.

"When I was young, I cut my way through a field of Ice monsters to get to a treasure chest at the end, and it charged me 2000 gold for a weapon. If our children must spend most of their time killing monsters instead of seeing the world, how bad will their children have it? Who took away the adventure from adventurers?"

"We need to get our children saving the world, not just running around commiting genocide!"

Scientists warn that unless the inflation of equipment prices is stopped, 95% of Lore's animals with XP values will be extinct within the next twenty years.

Selling: Rarely used Guardian Dragon
Well behaved, previously owned by an elderly Guardian who only used it to smite her enemies during the holidays.

Is your wife expecting a gift for the anniversary? Didn't remember it until now? We are here to help.
Paxia Airflights.When you need to get far away, and fast!

Moglins Unite!
Calling a meeting between all Moglin's who are sick and tired of not being treated with dignity and respect by the people around us, despite all our hard work! Just ask the closest person to you to punt you at bearing of 34 degrees North and bearing of 75 degrees East.

Newest from the markets of Drakel K'elds: Kelp Ball shaped tables!
It's fashionable, it's expensive, it's everything to make your neighbour hate you for!

Warning: Does not actually support anything on it. Do not place on uneven surface or near children and small animals.

< Message edited by Fishtank -- 8/17/2012 15:30:46 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 11
8/17/2012 15:33:11   

Due to diminishing reader numbers, we regret to inform you that we had to sell all of the space from today's Charlatan for our advertisement partners. Please enjoy them regardless, and buy a lot of things! You don't want the Charlatan to die, do you?

This weekend, at Battleon's Pit, it's the fight of the century that you don't want to miss!
Zorbak VS Kabroz!

The battle for a small pet cemetary begins!
These brothers will spare no punches in their rivalry, culminating in this fated match that only one will walk out of as the winner!

The honourable referee R'ma'logol the ethereal demon king of all Evil, Eternal Pain and Horrible Torture will be presiding.

Steve's Emporeum presents: Temporal rifts!
These nifty little things will work as armor, weapons or even pets, manipulating time and space to your whim no matter what you can and will think of to ask them for!

Buy your own now, for stocks are limited and one-time only!

Help wanted:
Brave adventurers needed for dangerous mission in the Ethereal realm, to investigate recent temporal alterations that threaten to destroy the entire time/space fabric of the Universe.

Do you find yourself farming more and more?
Do your loved ones bother you when they talk to you becaus you're farming?
Have you dropped out of school to farm?
If so, then you might be suffering from a farming addiction.

So put down that hoe and forget about the fields, come to Yulgar's today and we'll have you working where it matters in no time!

Guardian Administrative Order: Sending wave after wave of our own men at the enemy until none remain

Feeling empty inside this Valentine's Day?
Worried your heart might be three sizes too small?

Visit your local Warlic's magic shop to get a heart transplant!
Experience the miracle of love for only
39999 gold!
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 12
8/17/2012 15:35:53   

Thanks to an unknown lost civilization, which we just so happened to found under the muck we were wallowing in while chasing after rodents for food, the Charlatan is now back on it's feet with no problems what-so-ever!

We'd like to thank everyone who showed up to our yard sale, where priceless artifacts went for quite reasonable prices!

Embodiment of universal evil manifests upon Battleon!

Announces shutdown of Lore offices.

To whom it may concern,

Despite the long relationship We have had with your planet, We are afraid that the situation, with the continuous first-, second-, third- and fourth-quarter fiscal year results not going as planned, has finally reached a critical stage where it is our liability to come to a decision. As such, it is Our unfortunate duty to tell our long-time customers and business-partners that starting immediately, We are shutting down the Lore branch of our company.

While Our management has priced Ourselves as the top-producer of Bad Things, Horrible Accidents and Tear-Jerking Tragedies, it is an indisputable fact that Lore has outdone Us in Our own game. Understandably, every time We massed a horde of monsters to ravage the countryside, or let slip a powerful artifact just for a particular individual get their hands on it, you fought back, successfully, time after time.

But it is when the very people We are to enact evil upon do something even We had not considered, that We can only say We've been beat.

For years you have kept up an industry based on killing our underlings, which as we said is understandable, but what even We are appalled at, is how you steal their possessions from the grasps of their still-warm corpses and sell them as war trophies.

You people disgust Us.

As union-rules however dictate, each planet must have an entity of evil present, so We have taken the liberty of moving Our responsibilities to the most evil individual upon Lore. To protect the identity of Steve however, we can only tell that his heinous act, that skyrocketed him to the top of the list, was him kicking a dog and meaning it.

For those curious, he passed such people as Galanoth at #85956, Artix at #85955 and Twilly at #2.

Relatives saddened as Glaciar has begun to show signs of dementia.
Currently re-living events from two years ago.

"Six thousand! They took six thousand from us! We got to stop them, come on lads!"

A nurse shakes her head, defeated by the sight of the once noble and strong leader of the Ice clan being in such a state. While suddenly looking energetic and lucid as always in the past, he soon is distracted by a cup of pudding on the tray in front of him, which is soon gone(the cup) to his hungry maw.

"We always knew that the day would come when he gets too old to lead the clan, but this? This is much worse than any of us could have even imagined."

While currently residing in a state-of-the-art treatment center, doctors tending to Glaciar have stated that the old bear would never recover to lead the clan again. His brother Bergos has already stepped forth to claim leadership, but currently the clan members do not trust him enough to hand it over. The doctors were kind enough to describe the situation to us.

"The truth is that he'll just keep getting worse and worse. He'll live out the best days of his life in such precise accuracy in detail, that it's almost as if he was reading a book, but on the other hand, he can't remember if he has been fed in the past five minutes or not."

While our reporter had attempted to interview Glaciar as well, the doctors told that he was in no condition for anything like that and asked him to leave, forcing us to end this article with the last cryptic line heard as he bursted into another memory out loud.

"The dog, it's digging our grave! Digging our grave, stop that dog!"

Igneus trembles as a hostile takeover takes place and succeeds!
No resistance was available, takeover leader comments.

In a posthumous development from the clan of fire, leadership has changed hands from N/A to Sacchi, an upstart young politician commited to the best interests of the entire clan. Sacchi secured his position after a landslide victory, beating the other contestant, Sacchi, by a 100% margin.

"I have a lot of respect for Sacchi's agenda," comments official spokesperson for Igneus, Sacchi.

To celebrate, the new leadership of Igneus, which is to be referred from this day onward as the Sacchi, handed out grab bags, containing political standing among the Sacchi. Few however showed up to claim any of said political positions, greatly upsetting the Sacchi, who was immediately overjoyed as he realized he held all positions of power among the Sacchi.

"You'd think that people would be more excited about a hostile takeover. Maybe we should have shot someone, I don't know." commented the leader of military, Sacchi.

Glacian science experts prove Dynami is the root of all evil!
As if we didn't know that already.

In a miraculous turn of events, Glacian high researchers have finally uncovered conclusive evidence that Dynami is the root of all Paxian evil.

"I'll tell you why Dynami is the root of all evil, in my opinion. Glacius's defence score has been going down thousands of points recently. You can't explain that. You can't explain why our defence score is going down."

When it was suggested the decreasing score could be a result of a group of people attacking Glacius, they released this counterstatement:

"Why are people attacking Glacius but not Dynami? You can't explain that. You can't explain why people are attacking Glacius but not Dynami."

In light of these accusations, Dynami has finally been forced to buckle under suspicion and admit, among other, less important things, that they were the grand masterminds behind the entire ice cream smuggling ring that became a cold case two years ago.

Knights of Order finally get their demands through!
Revise physics and reality to their whim.

After long debate and re-writes, the Knights of Order were finally able to pass with their newly written laws of physics. Kalanyr, the man in charge, was obviously glad to have finally succeeded in their long sought-after goal.

"Finally we are getting closer to making Lore match our vision for it. People these days just don't realize that it was never meant to be fun to adventure, but adventurous!"

The new laws of physics, as well some other important things the KoO pushed through, will come into effect immediately at the start of next week, followed by six months of probable reality-bugfixes. Here is the list of redone laws:

- Falling from great heights will be scaled appropriately, with monsters taking 10% damage of their overall health when falling from heights of 1 mile and more. Of course, Adventurers and Guardians are affected too, taking 95% of their overall health in damage when falling over(for example, by a root or just tripping) and 110% damage when falling from heights greater than 1 foot.
- Related to the above, all fights will take place in fantastic tower cities, great spires, hanging bridges, magically floating apparatus and slowly dissipating clouds, etc. Rebuilding the entire landscape of Lore to match this will provide work for decades, solving the unemployment issue as well!
- All Adventurers will be positively charged, and monsters negatively charged, ensuring that no one will have to take more than one step to aggravate a monster or two!
- Crazy Friction Friday's, when for one Lore day, friction is disabled, providing fun for the entire world! This day is followed immediately by Salvaging Saturday and Rebuilding Sunday.
- To make battles more thrilling and choreographic, gravity will be set to 25% of what it currently is. To those however, who have complained of motion sickness caused by the too-fast battle movement, there will be an option to set gravity to 300%.
- To better simulate the passing of time on Lore, fights will trigger different levels of illumination depending on the time, with everything easily seen during the day and dimmer by the night. NOTE: As proper lunar movement is not currently implemented, it has two modes, On, when everything is 50% illuminated and Off, when everything is pitch black.
- The old shop system will be replaced by a barter system, finally giving Adventurers the option of buying and selling equipment from one another. The system will use voice chat for people to communicate between one another. NOTE: Voicechat is currently not planned for implementation, but it will be worked on right after the Museum.
- Depending how a battle between an Adventurer and a monster is going, the battle menu will move, act, change size and color accordingly. Guardians will enjoy fantastic one-liners and witty quips thrown by the menu during combat at excellent 8 kbs! NOTE: The voice does not currently come with an On/Off option, but we will implement it right after the new shop system.
- To simulate item wear, items will have a 5% chance to break in combat. You will then have to repair them using glue from a certain scaled-to-level monster, or for a meager price of 100 Z-Tokens. To fight inflation, items will also have a 2% chance to break completely.
- A crafting system has been finally implemented, but you can only create one item and carry one hilt, blade etc. at a time to your workshop(bought separately)! Oh, wait...
- Nerfcat and Nerfbat pets will finally nerf players as intended. Also, all pets can contract rabies from fighting certain monsters, resulting in them attacking you as well as enemies. WARNING: Due to deadline issues, all pets have rabies by default. We will fix this as soon as we can possibly bother.

Letters to the Editor:

"Dear Editor,

I'm trying to crush all the heathens and unite Paxia properly once and for good, but no one is taking me seriously. I don't think people get how seriously the heavens are in this matter. What should I do?

PS: Some kid stole my wallet. Is there a way I can report that?

Yours, the Caped Crusader Commander.

Dear Caped Commander,

we all had problems like these during our lives. That is the problems with heathens, they refuse to listen to the obvious and all-embracing truth that was given to us by the gods. Have you ever thought about attempting this whole thing in a more classical way? Start by stoning some unworthy pagans in public places, killing their pets and setting their houses on fire. You have to make sure that people notice that you mean business. If you send me 200 gold pieces and an empty postpaid package I'm even sending you some witches you can burn or drown. That always leaves an impression.

Sadly I cannot help you with getting your stolen wallet back, but I can give you an advice: Protect your next wallet with an exploding rune. That way the next kid that steals it will drop it very soon due to a sudden lack of arms. Just make sure you take it out of your pants before you wash them. I lost two washing machines that way.

Sincerely yours,

(executive editor)

Note: We here at the Charlatan do not approve stoning people, killing their pets and setting their houses on fire. We also do not approve burning or drowning witches and are not encouraging people to execute such acts of unneeded violence. We do send you witches on request though, we just have too many of them in our storage closet.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 13
8/17/2012 15:42:45   

The most complex and unknown threat so far arrives to devastate Lore!
Thousands of Adventurers and Guardians throw their arms up in disgust and quit.

All of Lore shook and trembled early this week when a dimensional rift was torn open from an alternate Lore, and out poured an army of monsters so horrible even Epheel looked like a male model in comparison! They are the Gurunagi, led by the legendary Draelin wielding the even more legendary Evergreens! Hailing from a world where the Salaran never existed, the Innur began a battle for controlling the Rho's, until only the Tori remained to take control of the Lilirin!

Despite being told how important it was to find the well-known swordsman Maelo Stormwrath, the dimensional twin brother of Draelin, and reaffix the Cortex, none would have it. One after another, the Adventurers and Guardians who had bothered to gather left, utterly disgusted, most too upset to comment and several telling us to "go straight to K'eld for all I care". Finally one man bothered to comment on the situation.

"I remember the good old days, when it was just us and a guy called Zardmaster. Now, I don't even know who I am fighting for. Or why. I'm quitting this job for good and looking for one easier to understand, like nuclear physicist."

Read our summary on the history and characters involved at pages 3&4 and 6-67.

Knights of Order give XP values to Adventurers and Guardians out of a whim.
Accidentally trigger a wave of murder and backstabbing around Lore!

During one of their more leisure days, the Knights of Order had the time to announce that they had given every Adventurer and Guardian XP values based on their level and skill. They stated in their defense, that they never did see the massacre coming. Within five minutes of the announcement, 75% of those who had gathered were dead, killed in the following battle royale after everyone realized what the announcement meant, the remaining people wandering off to search for easier prey than each other.

If not for the fact that monsters and marauding armies are currently terrified of the roaming murder-bands of high level Adventurers and Guardians, Battleon would be easy prey with practically all of it's defense force either dead or out to kill each other. Death had to arrive and say that for once, he wasn't about to resurrect on his usual I-O-U policy and he'd be sending off everyone who arrived.

The Knights of Order commented that "while it is regrettable that this all happened, we unfortunately have more pressing issues right now to deal with, such as if thrown paper airplanes have too high a BTH and if DEX should be involved."

Scientists make a major breakthrough in their study on the moglins!
Discover that there is only one!

"It's incredible, what we thought was a race of magical creatures was actually a single entity, who has agreed that we refer to it and all of it's manifestations as Twilly."

The research on moglins begun as scientists began to wonder how a race as small as the moglins were able to have a lifespan of several hundred years, where as other similar sized creatures had a lifespan of only a few decades. The study brought together the best of all fields of science and took over a year to reach the shocking conclusion.

"From what we can understand, Twilly is an entity that has much more abilities than just the magic we've seen the moglins- I'm sorry, the manifestations of Twilly display. We've confirmed that the entity possesses the ability to travel in time, treating it as one line that it can travel back and forth as it wants. Twilly has yet to tell us why it does these things, but we're getting there."

"There's still so much we can learn from it, besides what we've managed to compile and confirm on it's most common acts among us. Of course we're talking about talking with cheerful tone, helping the wounded by it's magic, it's inability to display other facial expressions than smile, knowing everything from the beginning to the end of time and watching people as they sleep."

Igneus almost back to it's feet.
The Sacchi immediately resorts to corruption and bribery to celebrate.

The Charlatan was surprised to find an invitation on their doorstep(mostly because we keep our location a secret due to all the enemies we have), and what an invitation it was! The Sacchi, the man who single-handedly took charge of Igneus just recently, was holding a party and we were invited!

All we had to do, was "correct" a few things previously written. Of course, we were outraged! To think, that the Sacchi has stooped so low already, having to resort to fancy parties, exotic food and prime entertainment to get what they want out of people!

In case you wonder, the party was absolutely wonderful, the food and drinks exquisite and the danceshow was the best we've ever seen. We wish you were important enough to have been invited there.

Check page 2 for the wild afterparty pctures! You won't believe what the Sacchi has on(and what he does NOT have on)!

With Spring on it's way, Glacius is getting ready for their yearly rituals!
Prepare for late tax refunds and arrest orders.

The frigid lands of Glacius are slowly warming up for a brief moment in the year, for just three months their inhospitable island becomes possible to travel through and the yearly migration of mailmen soon swarm their shores as they begin their long trek inland to deliver their mail, have a hot cocoa and leave for more sensible delivery areas.

"It's really a pain." comments one Glacian member.

"Every single year we get a nice letter from the Guardian Order calling us in for tax fraud. How are we supposed to do anything about it, the tax declaration is always late!"

The unfortunate situation affects every niche of the clan, including the department of war.

"It's really hard to command your troops when orders sometimes take 9 months to reach them. Just at the end of last Spring, our frontlines at the mainland told that they were about to get overwhelmed by the enemy. We finally got to mail them the order to retreat, they didn't send us a letter this Spring so we're sure they're fine."

Read this too and more at page 5!

He came to Battleon to help, but the people just laughed at him. Now a depressed alcoholic, we are here to tell you his story.

Read all you'd ever want to know about Vampireslayer P.

Letters to the Editor:

"Dear Editor

Recently I started to investigate the unjust attacks on our clan, and wouldn't you know it, just like always, the clues led me straight to Dynami. Unannounced attacks, leaving without a trace, utterly devastating us with no warning? All Dynami signs of activity.

So I knocked one of their members out, stuffed her body in a bag and snuck into their base while disguised.

I have to admit that their ability to keep their whole war a secret is admirable, no one didn't say anything careless about it, but I knew better! These people aren't unrelated, they're a part of it!

So I knocked one of their members out and stuffed him in the bag too.

Soon though I hit the jackpot. A poster calling everyone for a "crazy dance party". But I knew better! You see, Dynami have their own secret language, done all by dance! All over I saw it being used, right under everyone's noses the Dynami had always been talking about who their next target should be! Here's some of what I've managed to translate:

Step forth: Hello.
Step to the right: Hi.
Step to the Left: We should crush Glacius.
Step back while confused about the bag I hold: No, we should kill all Lucians instead.

So I knocked one of their members out and stuffed him in the bag too.

How dare they attack without telling!? It's horrible!
It's a good thing a master of disguise like myself got out of there alive, but now, I'm lost.
What should I do with the bag?

Yours, Concerned Paxian

Dear Concerned Paxian,

as I can clearly see from your elaborate story, the bag you are talking about is a metaphor. Every single one of us is carrying a load, or bag as you call it, each and every day. Going through life we stuff it full with our problems and concerns and stupid letters from stupid people and it becomes heavier and heavier each day until you just wish that every single one of them was dead.

My grandma once told me that life is like a box of chocolates, it’s really expensive and you get diarrhea from eating it. In the good old days, everything was better. Back then your enemies weren’t hiding like sissies behind words and deceit, no, they openly taunted you and gave you a nice target to aim your rage at. Nowadays everyone is hiding inside their secret forums, plotting your demise behind your back and then laugh and call you a liar when you find out about it. I can hear them right now, pointing their fingers and laughing with their unnerving, high-pitched voices. One day, one day I will put an end to this. I will kill them all, every single one of them, and then I’ll be the one laughing. The only one.

But I digress. To answer your question, in my opinion the best armor out there is still the Golden Plate. Nothing can beat those defenses. Be sure to buy one as soon as possible.

Sincerely yours,

(executive editor)

P.S. Do you need some witches?
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 14
8/19/2012 17:26:24   

The Charlatan is back, and guaranteed 100% juice slander.

Yulgar's Inn fails safety inspection, may be forced to close down.
Pest issues outlined as primary concern, alongside inescapable pit of eldritch abominations.

Yulgar's inn, one of the most world renowned landmarks in Lore, may be forced to close down soon. A recent safety inspection shows that Yulgar has not addressed any health concerns that were outlined in the conditional pass he received previously.

"There is a braken in the shower," reports a representative of the Lore centre for health and safety. "There are also numerous other small pest concerns that we outlined five years ago that have grown from small pest concerns into an ecosystem of small pests. Any given mouse hole will be a breeding ground for snails, spiders, smelly rats and snakes."

"Oh," added the representative. "We also found an inescapable pit filled with eldritch abominations outside the front door. I guess that explains the disappearing patrons."

"And-" continued the representative, "let's no forget that there have been reports of patrons entering the inn by using a giant toilet that is connected to the Isle d'Oriens. I'm not really sure how that even works but it can't be good for food safety."

In response to the safety inspection's findings, Yulgar, the proprietor, had this to say:

"First of all, what shower doesn't have a braken in it? And snakes and rats living together in a mouse hole? That's not how an ecosystem works. And the snails are only level 4, get over yourself. There are higher level snails in most inns. As for the hole in the ground leading to a pit of monsters that's hardly outside the front door, that's closer to Aria's pet store than the inn. Go bother her about having too many animals in her store and the like."

"But Yulgar, what about the fact that the inn is accessible via a giant toilet?" Inquired the Charlatan, asking the hard questions as we are known for. Unfortunately The Charlatan has yet to receive a response, but be sure to keep following The Charlatan (and certainly not our competitor The Zardian) as the story develops.

Knights of Order scramble to save reality from crashing.

Order all of Paxia to shorten their clan description.

With apparently lacking better things to do, Paxia was paid a surprise visit by the Knights of Order. The previously mysterious order then gave a startling announcement: To keep reality from grinding to a halt(and them from having to fix it), clans of Paxia would have to let go of their previously extragavant descriptions of themselves. They also clarified that the process would spread all around Lore in short order, after they were done testing on the ramifications of the change on Paxia.

While many clan members were disgruntled by these news, for they really liked to boast around each other with wild and wilder stories of their greatness, many more began to whisper that the whole thing was a scheme by the KoO to finally seize control over all of Paxia in order to reach their influence further. Dynami was quick to assure that "it has nothing to do with the new fascist government and would like to add that they feel their old facist government worked just fine until these new guys showed up and started acting like they own the place."

To placate the masses, a representative from the Knights of Order called forth an assembly of all the leaders of Paxia and explained the changes further, while the cutback on clan advertisement department budget was a big step forward in ensuring the stability of reality, the KoO were hoping to expand it to all discussion and works of literature in the near future, to be precise, two sentences was the limit reality could handle without twisting into itself in an unrecognizable mess.

"The matter is quite simple, actually. If I were to put a well thought out post on one end of the scale" the representative explained, "and a post saying 'lol' on the other end, the scale would be unbalanced. That's not what we stand for." He then paused for a moment, before speaking again. "Wait, that was three sentences. Hang on, can we try this again?"

Treasure hunters make a shocking discovery aboard Nautica!

The clan base has become a living tomb for the entire clan!

Driven by their pesky curious nature, treasure hunters of all races and gender spent days trying to bypass the defenses set up by Nautica, after rumors of great treasures being left behind by the all-but-gone clan of Water began to spread. Once inside, the treasure hunters were instead the grim discoverers of a shocking truth!

What should have been rooms filled with treasures were tombs, judging from the advanced decay it is safe to say that the entire clan of Nautica has been dead for at least a decade, it appears as if the entire clan just one day decided to seal themselves in their rooms and wait for death, for reasons unfathomable to anyone! How this is possible, considering prior diplomatic negotiations between other clans and Nautica, is uncertain, although wild rumors have already began to spread, stories of a clan that Once Was But Is No More, and of a drifting underwater tomb, with nothing inside but desiccated bodies and bones and the distant memories of people long gone that still linger to this day.

Whatever the case, the treasure hunters were quick to rob the place empty before reporting the case. And when we say quick, we mean a few weeks later, and when we say reporting we mean "accidentally blurt it out."

Adventurers and Guardians scourge the land for a cure to their memory loss

NPCs tired of repeating themselves.

Between dragons, behemoths, megoggs, herdmasters, steppe mastodons, trolluks or the occasional overgrown flibbity gibbest, it's no secret that the world of Lore has no shortage of dangers to the intrepid Adventurer's head. The question is, are our brave heroes wearing appropriate headwear? A new study shows a disturbing trend of brain injury induced memory loss among Adventurers and Guardians alike.

"Hiyas! My name is Twilly, and I am a Moglin" says Twilly, a moglin living in BattleOn, tens of thousands of times each day when Adventurers weary from random encounters come to him for healing.

"The situation has rapidly grown out of control," according to Lore's medical experts. "At this rate, NPCs can expect to be repeating themselves without fail every time they are spoken to."

The situation has quickly become the leading cause of concern for Lore, with 96% of all Adventurers and Guardians accounted for suffering from brain damage result of numerous battles with barely any head-protection than their own hair, everyone is desperate for a cure, with loss of short- to long-term memory the least of their worries. Often times, people with memory loss Twilly, a moglin living in BattleOn, tens of thousands of times each day when Adventurers weary from random encounters come to him for healing.

"The situation has rapidly grown out of control," according to dragons, behemoths, megoggs, herdmasters, steppe mastodons, trolluks or the occasional overgrown flibbity gibbest, it's no secret that Adventurers and Guardians scourge the land for cure to their memory loss.

[Continued on page 2]

Adventurers look for meaningful conversation with female NPC's.

Get quests instead.

After years of working hard to save the world, the universe, or for those more humble among them, just a town or two, many Adventurers have finally reached the age where they would just sit down, think a few moments and start to consider settling down somewhere, maybe raise a few adventurous kids themselves, and maybe get a job that doesn't involve stabbing someone in the gut or getting stabbed in the gut themselves and so on. As result, all around Lore, Adventurers have begun their courting attempts with the only females they really know.

Unfortunately, it just so happens that those females have shown no interest in anything more than sending them off to some distant corner of Lore in search of this or that. One such Adventurer had this to say: "I've heard about playing tough to get, but this is ridiculous. I actually managed to get the item they were asking for, and you know what? They told me to get it again when I tried to ask them out for dinner. This must be a trial or something, right? Right?"

With more lairs, dungeons and keeps being raided more than ever, prices on previously priceless artifacts have begun to plummet sharply as more and more of the items go in circulation in the market, sold by frustrated Adventurers who are sure they're bound to get the perfect item on the next try.

The Guardian Order moved quickly to negotiate a solution with the Female Adventurer Association(apparently in the terms of multiple marriage negotiations), but are currently unavailable to comment further due to all of their members raiding Alnaphar.

Lore aghast as symphatetic four-limbed amputee Adventurer turns out to be a fraud!

Just a very skilled contortionist.

Timmy, the lovable young and spirited Adventurer who became well known in the past few months after a battle with a particularly nasty Megogg left him limbless, was revealed to be simply the best known contortinist just a few days ago when a witness came forth after seeing Timmy pop out his limbs and take a refreshing beach-side walk near Lolosia.

He captured hearts all around Lore when he told his most sad tale, and his woes of how hard his Adventuring life had become after it became nearly impossible for him to cover the distances to various quest-sites to get the most coveted of equipment sets, not to mention the difficulty in battle as he was a moderately famed battle-mage prior to his accident. As result, a fund-drive was made to help out Timmy, and many Adventurers and Guardians alike brought him the sets he so longed for but was unable to acquire by himself. Now equipped with the best of armor and on the run from the law, not to mention many of his betrayed fans and sponsors, Timmy has made it to Battleon's Most Wanted list.

We advise our readers to forward every piece of information that they might acquire of the where-abouts of Timmy straight to the Charlatan, as we are really interested in the hefty prize money awarded to whomever can produce information that will lead to the capture of Timmy.

Letters to the Editor

Dear Mr. Editor,

all of my friends are long gone to the level cap already, while I'm still merely level 130. Should I try and catch up with them after all these years?

Yours, Underdog Seeking Help

Dear Underdog,

I can feel your pain. I am myself a simple level 14 and you wouldn’t believe the ridicule I have to deal with on a daily basis. If you want my opinion, I think that all the monsters out there are severely overpowered. I mean they give you a Steel Plate and a simple Longsword and then they expect you to take down dragons, undead hordes and even demi-gods! I asked my high-level friends for help and they did give me some good tips on attack timing and proper Steel Plate polishing, but I still won’t stand even a slight chance against pretty much every monster out there. Did you know that Death has a Frequent Dier program? I see him so often these days, he even stopped asking me for favors because he can’t keep track of them anymore.

But don’t let all the haters out there drag you down. Are people that reached the level cap superior to others? Does reaching the level cap make you a better person? No it doesn’t. You know what makes you better than others? Being an executive editor, that’s what. And it comes with very nice perks, too. Sure, it might throw your newspaper into a hiatus if you fire the entire writing staff for making fun of you but they totally had it coming and deserved it. Who is laughing now, huh? Certainly not the ex-writer living in a cardboard box!

Sincerely yours,

(executive editor)

P.S. Did you ever hear of a guy called “Yulgar”? I overheard a conversation and someone mentioned that he sells things that help you fight better but I just don’t know, it sounds pretty shady if you ask me.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 15
11/24/2012 16:30:56   

We interrupt our regular hiatus program for this important war update.

War in Paxia escalates
The amount of whine can finally be heard in sufficient, annoying, let's-find-out-what-is-wrong-THIS-time levels!

In a dimension far far away from our localized headquarters, Paxia's nonexistent activity has been replaced by a never-ending war for territory. Breaking through several layers of reality, a scream for help (or maybe just the scream that of a tantruming child) piqued our interest in this bleak time of news and we sent a reporter in, equipped with the best tools we had available, a pen, paper, and the ability to not care!

After an introduction that many other villains should take note when it comes to providing exposition, we learned that the problem that was now in front of the remaining clans fighting in Paxia, was Dynami, who's tireless, merciless horde had been crushing all opposition at any way they saw fit.

"It's really unfair, you know. Here we are, doing the best we can, and Dynami has been stealing territory no matter how much we try to defend it.", says an anonymous defender of a Dynami-opposing clan, who seems to have a penchant for referring to themselves in plural, considering how the battlefield this interview took place was populated mainly by the horde of Dynami, and the occasional stray Adventurer who looked confused as if they had been trying to reach a random battle, and were instead up against an actual army by themselves, with as much success as you'd imagine.

The Dynami had very little to say of the situation. "Here we are, just trying to have a nice little war of conquest, take all of Paxia and rule it like it was meant to be ruled, with an iron fist that crushes all that oppose you, and what did we find? Like one, maybe three people per clan that figured out that being crushed and swept aside in a pile of broken bits and pieces was a bad thing. I could be saying that we feel bad about all this, but I'd be lying. It's more like taking your sick dog behind a shed, and putting a crossbow bolt through it's head while it's chewing on your leg with it's gums, because the rabies it has made it's teeth fall out."

Our sources tell us that in about one week, all of Paxia will be conquered by Dynami, which surely is a better alternative to what is happening in the Paxia we actually live in, what with the events that are as intriguing as watching the ruins of the old clans slowly decay.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 16
7/9/2013 19:33:20   

This is a vision of what might have been, taking place in a time long before, with figures who have long since disappeared. It could be called a Temporary Representation of a Universe in Total Havok (TRUTH) or it might be one of Various Alternates, Listed in Detail (VALID). Either way, it is a story about things gone terribly wrong, a piece of fiction best called…

Tacosrule gurgled as the spear pierced his stomach.

No no no no no. He thought. This isn't fair. It was supposed to go for Kire10 first!

He dropped his Tactical High Energy Mobile Ionization Device Designed for Lazering Enemies (THE MIDDLE) on the ground. The red energy swirling around the barrel still glowed brightly, but it was fading fast now that his finger was off the trigger. Out in the distance he heard a whoop of excitement as, he supposed, Kire10 engaged their foe.

He couldn't see it. By now he had collapsed in the rubble, face down. Anyway, it didn't matter.

All the brave Dynami warrior had was a collection of scythes, nothing that could hurt their foe. The plan had been to scavenge anything they had left, draw it… the enemy… to the warrior, Kire10, and then the scientist, Tacosrule would simply fire everything they had acquired at it. It was a plan born of desperation, one that necessitated self-sacrifice.

With that last plan gone, failure was certain. But despite that, Tacosrule had never been so uncertain, so desperately questioning in his life.

Why did it go for me? It was engineered to prioritize warriors over civilians. Has it thrown off that conditioning too?

Why aren't I dead? It never left someone alive before. He had a vague memory pop into his mind. Someone telling him that stomach wounds can take hours, if not days, to die from. Maybe this is a weakness, an oversight. It's not killing me because I'm doomed. Maybe if the others find some way to walk around with gaping stomach wounds it'll ignore them.

He laughed, or gurgled, bitterly.

He cast his mind back to when this all started. It was a bright, sunny day of joy- literally. Harry8989 had just, completely by accident, discovered a process for binding tiny light orbs directly to the flesh of biological entities, giving them new, strange powers. Ramirez assigned Tacosrule and Fred to the project as well, initially as an attempt to create new breeds of soldiers. Soon the two of them had successfully achieved powered fight with the Aeronautic Type, which could hover by blasting beams of light at the ground below it. It took months and dozens of willing tests subjects for them to perfect the Bladed Bombardier Type, which could actually use the light as a weapon by forming solid, magical constructs and striking with or throwing them at its enemies.

They probably shouldn't have tried for a Carnage Type.

There were Paxian envoys from all over the hive back then. Some had decided to volunteer for the project too. Dynami was promoting it as the great equalizer. Now everyone will be able to take to the air, to create their own weapons, to defeat the greatest of monsters. Forget a new way to wage war. This could be the end of war!

It started in such a simple way. They were joking around. Wouldn't it be funny if we chose a Nocturan for this test? Light bonded to every particle of a being sworn to serve darkness.

So funny.

There were safeguards in place, ways to rewrite someone's mind to make them passive, to prevent them from going out of control (They had developed those after the Regenerating Uncontrollable Nogh'Da (RUN) incident). The Nocturan had volunteered for that part of the procedure too. He didn't want to end up going mad and becoming a menace. Tacosrule remembered that perfectly well. The Nocturan's exact words were "a warrior and not a menace." His exact words!

The new being was still humanoid, but it glowed like the sun itself. They hadn't noticed the signs, how it twitched and looked at its body like it didn't even recognize itself. They showed him off, proudly. Ramirez, DigDog, Tuss, and Gorobei were all in the observation lounge above the testing chamber. A leader who had sheltered the clan and bound it together. A warrior who had defeated thousands of foes, singlehandedly crushing armies. An up-and-coming politician, full of ideas. An indescribable, but certainly important member of the Dynami noosphere.

He still remembered the horror in all of their faces when it formed an axe and took off Ramirez's head.

Harry8989 was next, turned into a charcoal skeleton before he could even reach the door. Gorobei screamed out that something had gone wrong, and said his goodbyes before leaping towards the exit. The Clan Head Emergency Spacial Teleport (CHEST) was still around Ramirez's wrist, but everyone had forgotten about it in the chaos. Fred tried to go for an alarm when a light shard blasted a hole through his torso. The enemy took aim at the remaining members.

DigDog jumped through the window and tackled it.

Light bounced everywhere in the chamber as the enemy tried to burn up the proud warrior, firing beams at with one hand while the other stabbed at him with a light-knife. Tacosrule still imagined that DigDog might have somehow survived the battle. He had fled the chamber by that point, activating every safeguard he knew of along the way. He wasn't there to see the end of that first battle, but they clearly hadn't stopped the enemy. He saw it one more time that day, as it tore its way through the generator. Tacosrule hadn't seen what happened to the queen, the workers, or the fireflies, but he could tell that the screams of rage and anguish were from his comrades, coming together as a whole to fight this new threat in their midst. He just ran, because with the clan head and his successors dead he had a new responsibility.

He reached the beta site, a small cave just outside the hive, and activated the final quarantine. An energy barrier, fueled by a reservoir of core energy, which covered the entire rocky plains that were termed to be Dynami's land. This was just the remote: the generator was located far underground. He didn't get out of the cave in time to see the crackling dome rise up from the ground, but he knew he had succeeded when he looked up at a yellow sky.

The rest of Paxia was now safe, but everyone except for a handful of the clan had perished on the first day. The remainder were either hunted down while trying to get help or slaughtered in futile attacks on the enemy. He thought that one or two clan members might have managed to teleport outside the barrier using magic, but they hadn't brought anyone back. It was more likely that all of their mages had perished and the outside world simply hadn't thought to check in yet. Dynami was gone either way.

He couldn't even see the dirt anymore. His sense of touch had gone minutes ago. He preferred to believe he had lost his hearing, because that would have meant that the battle could still be going on, instead of ending after that sharp scream of pain. He couldn't recall any more details from the past.

Will I be remembered? He wondered. Will the ones who find us know what we were, what heights we aspired to? Or will it all disappear into the mists of the past?

But even in this moment, full of questions, there was one thing he knew for sure.

The enemy was Nocturan, Enhanced Genetically by Light Energy: Carnage Type

NEGLECT had killed the Dynami clan.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 17
7/22/2013 21:22:14   


Tuss gently patted the head of the insectoid body on the stretcher. He was between it and the vortex at the moment, but he stepped just an inch to the side before he addressed the crowd of Dynami members that had gathered to watch the funeral.

“Today we say goodbye to two cornerstones of Dynami that have been with us for many years. It is a day of joy, tinged with great sorrow.”

“In the beginning of our clan, we supplemented our available technology with the gifts of the rift, a stabilized wormhole established by our fine scientists, but whose its terminus was controlled by the whims of fate. When it is activated, you’ll see that a marvelous display of shifting vistas as the other side changes a dozen times a second. But that beauty hides a great danger, because the wormhole exerts a pull on the other side. Sometimes the technology it expulsed was a blessing, that led to incredible advances or redefined how we viewed our universe. Other times, we received lethally invasive predators, furious robots or radioactive materials.”

Tuss paused and nervously tugged the collar of his armor as he remembered. He glanced down at the floor. He thought for a moment that he could still see a pattern of lumps from where it had started to melt through the floor… He quickly returned to his speech

“But now, humankind has redefined its relationship with the Drakel. No longer do we have to rely on theft and reverse-engineering. Our two species can at last share technology, knowledge and advancements. In fact, later today we are receiving a shipment of technology that we could have never of dreamed of receiving just a few years ago. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we are permanent closing the wormhole… after one final usage.”

There was a moment of solemn silence before he started up again.

“Levitas was a fine comrade. Most of you knew him as something barely above an animal. You may be wondering why I’ve called all of you here for him, especially now that the Truphma may be massing on our borders. He didn’t die in battle, or while saving us from disaster. He passed away peacefully. And yet, we’ve all come together to see his body off into the wilds of infinity, to grant him the honor of laying to rest in a world that no one here will ever get to visit. ”

“Levitas was a visitor from beyond the stars. He was one of a kind, and possibly the most unique entity to ever be a part of Dynami. I’m going to tell you all a tale, about a time when Dynami reached for the stars and this noble being saved the world…

Okay. Hello, this is Harry8989. I’m going to have to explain some things for you before you read this story. Levitas was the second Dynami clan pet, whose name is derived from the latin word for light, as in the opposite of heavy (I think I was looking for the word for lighting and messed up, but it’s been so long that I’m not sure). Back then, all of the clans had pets, forum threads that were updated with new pictures (sniped from Google Images) and descriptions as the clan z-token counter reached a certain point. Levitas, however, had two innovative aspects that no other clan pet had had before. First, it was not only z-token driven- we also had to make a certain number of posts before I’d make a new form (we were not the most active clan, even back then). Second, it had a full-fledged story, hosted on the Dynami forums because we didn’t have our own story thread back in those days. This was 2009 (check the date on the post), so it actually also predated Warpforce as the first AQ space story!
You can find the clan pet thread saved here, in the tenth post. Just ignore the other ones. All you really have to know to enjoy the story is that form three was more or less an lightning elemental, form four looked like a golem, and form five looked like a more interesting golem with awesome-looking spikes.
The quality of my writing then was poor, and I used my own name for one of the characters- the cardinal sin of non-metafictional stories (In this rewrite, that character is known as H). I’ve learned to see the flaws in my work, and while I still feel like a par-subpar writer, I’ve definitely improved. You can, if you really want to, read the original story here. I’m rewriting the story, adding new characters (not based on anybody) and improving the writing while keeping the plot. Each of the four crew members will get an equal amount of time in the spotlight this time around, and display uniform levels of competency instead of being stereotypes. I’m still using a lot of the old text, but I’m adding a ton as well.
Now, when I submitted this, we were expecting a possible Paxia update soon. I wanted to get something, at least one part, out as soon as possible. It’s likely that I’ll go back and edit some of this in the future, removing glaring errors and blatant failures. Sorry…
The end of this story, like the prologue, will take place in the “modern” Dynami era. In the original story, almost all the characters (four out of the seven sentient entities in the story) were based on forum members who had asked for/approved the inclusion of either their forum persona or their AQ persona in the story. Though that won’t be possible here, I’m hoping to re-include that feature in the next story. I’ll give more instructions at the time. Hopefully, this will be the start of a new era of Dynami content!

Now, let’s begin…

The project had started as a hobby and had become an obsession.

H bit his lip as he wound the last of the ancient scrolls around the cylinder. It was almost as tall as he was. It had taken hours to get all the previous scrolls aligned and attached, and he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. A bead of sweat dropped down his forehead as he maneuvered the papyrus into position. The back of the scroll had been covered in a special adhesive so that it would remain attached no matter what, so there was absolutely no room for error. He had carefully measured the length of the giant scroll so that it would fit perfectly around the cylinder, but it seemed like it was just a bit... too... short...

The scroll jumped onto the cylinder with a wet “shlurp”. Wiping the perspiration from his forehead, H stepped back to admire his work. The ancient runes inscribed on the scroll shined with a glossy blackness that was made even more apparent by the crinkled, brown papyrus it had been inscribed on. It completely obscured the sides of the cylinder, but that had the effect of making the top, which had an odd metallic-green coloring to it, seem glaringly obvious. The cylinder had a spherical indentation on the top, and H grinned wildly as he grabbed a nearby object and jammed it into the space.

The object was a red device about the size and shape of a baseball, surrounded by a ring of seven gems. Each gem was different- there was a ruby, opal, and amethyst, among other gems. With a large and unneeded windup, H tapped the top of the sphere and its dome opened up into four pieces, revealing a tiny console, a small screen and a large button resting on top of the rest of the half-sphere. H gave it a longing look, then closed it up. The cracks that separated the pieces of the dome were impossible to notice- unsatisfied with the craftwork, H had convinced one of Dynami’s mages to render them invisible until the device opened. H took one last look, then pushed the trolley on which the device was seated over into a corner.

H smiled as he pushed the next part of the invention, a series of cushioned pods of greatly varying size, up over to the work area. He smiled as Levitas, the clan pet, currently existing as living electricity, flitted over and playfully circled his head.

"No time to play right now, Levitas. And your new body is on hold for a while, so no work for you either." He gently shooed the yellow blur away from him. Levitas jumped around for a few seconds, before taking his most common form, a humanoid looking creature. He looked at H for a second, his eyes glimmering in the light, before flowing under the closed door and out of H's lab. H's smile widened for a second, but quickly turned into a flinch as he heard a zapping noise from outside, a sure sign that Levitas had encountered one of the less friendly members. A series of shouts, muffled by his door, soon ensued. Levitas's head popped back under the door, his eyes conveying a sense of playful happiness. Then, with a zip and a zap, he was gone. H sighed and turned back to his work.

H's laboratory was small, but very comfortable, and filled with odd gizmos and gadgets. Right now, he was working on something he thought might be his magnum opus.

The machine had been in the design phase for quite some time. Originally, H had planned to launch the project using combustion, but he couldn't acquire enough fuel. Next, he had tried magic, but he hadn't been able to find a spell straight, direct, and stable enough. The landing had been a problem too, but he had found a way around that. Who said the thing had to come back in one piece anyway?

But recently, he had finally found a design that worked. The “ninja scrolls of transportation” took a while to find, but a recent shipwreck discovered on the coast had been full of old artifacts, with the scrolls among them. His provider assured him that the owners would never have noticed that all the artifacts with actual magical value were missing. But the scrolls were only going to be used to start the journey.

The pods were another matter. H had them all planned out, but couldn't find a material strong enough to hold them together. Then, a recent skirmish with some renegade Drakel had allowed Dynami unique access to some new technologies, including some type of stasis suit. It took weeks to reverse engineer the technology, but he now had a cushioned pod that could survive the hardest falls and the hottest magma.

He planned to use a submarine to get an airtight hull, but he would need to completely gut it to fit the new tech. The controls had already been made, and only awaited wiring and connection to the rest of the device. But the main feature of the project had been made long, long ago. It was called the Astral Eddy Device, and it was H’s pride and joy.

It opened windows in reality. All he needed was a single fragment, something from another world, and his beauty would punch a hole straight to where it came from.

H’s project... was a spaceship.

Months later…

“Ujs Tu? Ujs, this is Tuss. Are you there?”

Tuss stood outside the door of Dynami’s main lab, hoping, practically praying, that the Dynami’s “Science Manager” would respond to his calls. They were supposed to have met twenty minutes ago, but the messenger had said that Ujs was dealing with an “emergency.” Tuss was, by all accounts, an amazing leader and tactician who rarely felt fear. But Dynami could produce true horrors sometimes…

Suddenly, the door flew open. He caught a glimpse of a fleeing figure grasping something to its chest as it ran down the hall. The figure had a tattered robe on, but Tuss still caught a glimpse of a bare skull. His breath caught in his throat. No, not again…

“Don’t worry.” Tuss turned back towards the door. There was Ujs Tu, “That was Iolob. He’s just taking the weapons to the blast chamber.” All the stress disappeared in an instant. Iolob, the Non-Necromantic Lich, was the only Dynami member who didn’t have any flesh that might get melted off his bones.

Tuss’s professional aura returned in an instant. The Dynami scientists were constantly messing up and triggering feedback loops in captured Drakel weaponry. He stalked into the room, noting a long table full of identical rayguns, several of which were at some stage of disassembly. There was an empty, charred portion towards the end, and on the ground nearby were the remains of various tongs that had melted into puddles. He nodded his head at it in recognition.

“Well, we learned how to make its power core melt down.” Ujs acknowledged. “Unfortunately, they’re magiscience devices, and it was producing both natural and magical heat. The table’s been enchanted, but we didn’t have any nullifiers with enough fire resistance to get close and shut it off. They called me over to help and I…”

Tuss waved his hand to get him to stop. “Just file a report later. I want to talk to you about H’s project. I know you okayed the design, but I want your opinion on him. After the incident, do you think he’s can be allowed to do something like this? He’s going to need to bring others with him. I’m not putting members of this clan in unnecessary danger because of someone’s foolhardiness.”

Ujs sighed and put his hand over his eyes. “He thinks he’s indestructible. No matter how stupid something might be, he never thinks it might harm him. Do you know why he used the Insomniack on himself in the first place?” Tuss shook his head. “He wanted to work at night so that he wouldn’t hear any sounds from the lab next door. Instead of moving, or asking them to stop, or even altering his sleep cycle the normal way, he took an untested device, non-analyzed technology, and used it on himself. He knew exactly what he was doing- he just couldn’t imagine he might suffer any consequences.”

Tuss grimaced. The Insomniack device was one of Ayl’s designs. She was their resident expert in psychic tech, and she had built the device based off a minor function of an extremely complex piece of wormhole-given tech. It was suppose to remove the user’s need for sleep, and in fact it did. It turned out that the user still dreamed- but these “waking dreams” came in the form of hideous hallucinations. The other scientists had stopped H as he was trying to fight off his horrors by using one of his devices to open up a door to an unstable pocket dimension.

It had been two weeks since then, and even though they had managed to reverse the effects, the very fact that H had had such a monumental lapse in judgment was worrisome. This was H’s first project/proposal since he got off probation. All of the pieces for the spacecraft had arrived, and now that they knew Levitas was from another world they had an actual destination. Ujs was still talking to Tuss, and the clan head snapped back to attention. “He’s an absolute moron when it comes to himself, but he wouldn’t directly, knowingly, endanger others. The idea is good, if potentially disastrous. Other than the Network, we don’t know what’s out there among the stars… but this is our chance to find out first hand.”

Tuss smiled. He found the idea of spaceflight fascinating. Plus, Levitas had become more that a mascot or a pet now. Helping him find out where he came from was the right thing to do.

“I’m glad for your opinion. I’ll tell him to assemble a team and brief them.”

As he was walking out the door, another thought occurred to him. He poked his head back in.

“Mind getting a committee together?”

Ujs was already back to tinkering with the rayguns. He looked up, puzzled. “What for?”

A huge smile split Tuss’s face. “This is Dynami. How else are we going to name the ship?”
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 18
8/12/2013 16:49:24   



Battleonia suddenly on the brink of destruction!
Oh well, it's not like it's anything new, right?

In a shocking turn of events, the war being fought on Paxian soil took a turn for the worse for the Adventurer forces, starting from a single person who had a most unfortunately timed epiphany! Survivors of what followed soon after previously mentioned Adventurer said out loud what they had just thought of reported that "one moment he was fighting their third Truphma in a row, then all of a sudden they said "Wait, if these guys aim to make everything dull, boring and monotonous, haven't they already succeeded? I mean, I'm getting pretty bored fighting these guys for so lon-" and then all of a sudden, all color just flushed from their face like- like- a Truphma's!"

The epiphany had seemingly such a strong effect, that those around "that accursed philosopher" soon followed suit, giving up all hope of ever enjoying the carnage of war as your average Adventurer is used to! Within hours, there was little left of the Adventurer force previously overwhelming the Truphmas, and reports tell that the hasty retreat to mainland surely will lure the Truphma currently razing Paxia to Battleon and beyond!

While times are dire, and the plague of indifference has already been brought upon Battleonia by a few infected survivors, we will do our best to keep you informed of any turn of the events for the better oh who cares, day in, day out we tell these people about all the horrible things that happen, and they don't even care. Why should I care? It's not like there's anything we can do at this point, that's it, I qui
Post #: 19
8/14/2013 14:43:00   

Paxia safe once more!
Only a matter of time until the clans remember that they hate each other, experts warn.

With Paxia's leaders finally released and the Truphma beaten down and away from the island, for the first time in quite a while the eight clan leaders held a statement as a group in display of solidarity after this grueling and quite testing time.

"Clansmen, friends, woman. With Xov's plot foiled, we are pleased to inform you that life in Paxia will be restored as it was by a co-operative effort all of us have agreed to. We will show Xov that no matter how much she twists our words around, and attempts to turn this place into a dull gray wasteland where nothing happens, we will be able to return the island to it's proper shape together!"

After the statement, the clan leaders all departed to their own clans, leading the reconstruction and friendship projects which had been agreed and signed to. Further statements clarify that in a matter of weeks, Paxia will once again be peaceful, with nothing happening for many a year to come, showing Xov once and for all!

Paxia slowly recovering from the horrors of war.
"The horror has just begun", our sources inform.

With Paxia currently having put aside all difference between the clans, and everyone helping rebuild the island as it was before the Truphma invaded, we in the Charlatan received an invitation to a secret meeting, regarding information that could shake the whole of Paxia if let slip by mistake.

Our informant, mister Another Mysterious Stranger(not to be confused with The Mysterious Stranger) cut right to the case, warning us that this war with the Truphma wasn't over yet. "I've heard things, seen them myself, put together pieces of evidence like a puzzle, and I don't like what I see." they said, and presented a few concerning photographs(especially since photography wouldn't be invented for seven hundred years). "At first I just thought our, ahem, esteemed clan leaders were just tired afteir their captivity, but the more I listened, the more I realized just how much had happened to them. They had been vivid as ever when taken captive, but once released? They all acted exactly the same, with as much excitement as your average Truphma would."

"It's not just them either, this goes in deeper, much deeper. The reconstruction they're doing? Ever paused to think why all the buildings made look exactly the same, why the builders suddenly favor gray paint, why all the unique architecture to the clans is being ignored?" After a small pause we held, to wipe away the sweat caused by all this conspiracy talk(which for once did not originate from Charlatan itself), the informant continued. "This is big, perhaps the biggest thing since the Three were destroyed years ago. Xov's not done with Paxia, Xov has just begun. And if we don't act soon, I don't think any of us is going to be in any shape to complain. This war we are facing goes from the top to the bottom, and it won't be pretty."

"But don't you worry", the informant said with a reassuring nod, "we have a plan. Just you wait."

New clan head elections mark beginning of new age for Paxia!
Unfortunately will share the low morals and corruption of previous age.

With the Truphma surely walking among us and observing our every move, you would think that now would be a bad time to hold a mass restructuring of every government on the island, but you'd be wrong as with a new political fever sweeping the island, Paxia may be forced to fight the war on two fronts, for a new enemy has emerged — politicians.

However, not all things change, as reports have already begun to circulate that the entire upheavel was orchestrated by a rogue Dynami element, that the new leaders being elected are in fact puppet heads under their control, and that the entirety of Paxia may soon be under the control of this renegade mastermind.

"I don't know where these rumours are coming from, but let me make this very clear: Fishtank's dead," stated a Dynami spokesperson earlier this morning. "We executed him last week after we discovered that he was Truphma spy. Or maybe he was just bland and boring. But in either case, nobody misses him."

"This is not a cover up and Fishtank is definitely not the head of a shadow organization running all of Paxia," continued the spokesperson. "Uh, you did say Fishtank right? No, I don't know why I thought you said Fishtank, but what I said is still true."

Letters to the Editor

Dear Mr. Editor,

Just recently I and a few of my fellow clansmen were saved from our dreadful imprisonment thanks to our clan coming to our swift rescue. However, during the time I spent in that dank dungeon, I had time to think, and most of it was about what Xov said about our clan. Mr. Editor, is my clan really as bad as Xov said it is?

Yours, Concerned Clansman

Dear Concerned Clansman,


Sincerely yours,

(executive editor)
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 20
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