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RE: The Estari Gateway Discussion thread

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12/6/2012 10:41:46   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Well, we don't know if all of them are, just Sepulchure. And Amon is a god in a human body, I could change his class or something, and I have thought of a twist about the mysterious stranger. And new chapter style: Yes? No?

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:43:17 >
DF  Post #: 51
12/7/2012 3:49:01   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Chaosweaver Amon: We know at least two DoomKnights were generals of the Shadowscythe.

I have no personal preference for either chapter-style, though from what I understand some may find the style you experimented with confusing.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 52
12/7/2012 12:49:16   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Two doomknights? Sepulchure and...? And I thought the new chapter style would be simpler, and to stop me having to think of chapter names.

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:43:34 >
DF  Post #: 53
12/8/2012 7:02:35   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 We don't actually know the name of that DoomKnight, we merely find his corpse at the ancient battlefield during the Earth Orb Saga.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 54
12/8/2012 11:31:19   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 I don't recall that...anyway, new chapter up, edited all the chapter titles, and typos that I could find. Hope you guys enjoy...

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:43:46 >
DF  Post #: 55
12/11/2012 13:17:03   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 You know, I've been thinking, and I think this should be moved to creative prose. Because I can't stay canon to Dragonfable, without changing the main character's back story DRAMATICALLY. If an AK could move it there it would be much appreciated.

Anyway, could I get some comments and criticism on the most recent two chapters? I'd like to fix any errors that I've missed.

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:43:57 >
DF  Post #: 56
12/11/2012 16:28:14   
Glais
Member

quote:

Because I can't stay canon to Dragonfable, without changing the main character's back story DRAMATICALLY.

The main character could always just not be DF's protagonist.

That's what me and many others do for their characters' backstories.
DF MQ  Post #: 57
12/13/2012 14:06:13   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Well, since nobody bothered to give me characters besides Legendium...-.- I've decided to enter AQWorlds two newest NPCs in along with Tobias Legendium, and other characters I've created. next chapter coming, five new characters...be ready...

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:44:12 >
DF  Post #: 58
12/13/2012 23:00:35   
Glais
Member

quote:

I've decided to enter AQWorlds two newest NPCs

Wait, how would they fit the plot at all?
DF MQ  Post #: 59
12/13/2012 23:17:08   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Eh, I figured since DF is not canon to AQW, and I needed names, I might as well use a bit of AE's own material...Three are from AQW, one is of my own making, and one is created by our very own, Legendium...

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:44:25 >
DF  Post #: 60
12/15/2012 15:32:08   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 New chapter is up, I brought three of the five in, hope you enjoyed, it may be a bit tricky to work your mind around the accents, so be careful.

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:44:34 >
DF  Post #: 61
12/16/2012 13:50:18   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Ok now another chapter is up, I still need somebody to critique the last few chapters.

(EDIT:The blade of Grimlon's sword is meant to look like Sepulchure's, not the full sword, just the blade, only more steel-ish.)

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:45:06 >
DF  Post #: 62
12/17/2012 12:11:40   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
quote:

"As it happens," Achrion smiled. "Veck is not your true brother, he may be of your blood, but he is not your brother. You see, there is no real person called 'Jack Slugwrath' You are more than you think."

May I ask why Achrion smiled at this point?

quote:

He saw many short, stout people, who roared, and laughed and drank, who smashed through rocks they were mining with axes.

pickaxes

quote:

The elves, with their keen senses, pride equal to the dwarves, to quick for their enemies to see them coming.

too

quote:

"Bloodwine, apprentice..." he rasped.

That sounds more like a job for a lesser subject.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 63
12/17/2012 12:52:44   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Smiled...hmmm I guess I just wrote that for some sort of spacing between lines...I'll fix those typos and the reason Grimlon is the one to fetch the wine, is because when Amon is in his "Trance" He only permits Grimlon in the room. Because, as you will learn later in the story, Amon's human form cannot always take the strain of it.

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:45:20 >
DF  Post #: 64
12/18/2012 14:39:32   
Glais
Member

quote:


"You are the Estari Gateway, with the strengths, and weaknesses of the three most powerful races on Lore."

Huh.
As well, wasn't Lore created by Lorithia? And how is Amon the god of Death when we have well, Death.
I can see what you mean by conflicting with DF history now though ~_^ I'd thought you just meant with the protagonist initially.
Can't say I'm too keen on this master race idea.
quote:

If we want to get out of here, we gotta look to them like we deserve the punishment.

Doesn't that make it less likely for them to get out instead of more?
DF MQ  Post #: 65
12/18/2012 19:10:52   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 @ Glaisaurus not exactly, you'll see what happens to those prisoners.

@legendium I apologize if you are in any way humiliated by the fact that you were arrested for stealing sheep. (I mean to add a twist to that.)

Well, now we basically know who the protagonists are, and the main plot. For those of you who are somewhat confused about 'How do you have a god of death when there's death, what about the elemental avatars?' Blah, blah, blah. Well, the Estari are sort of the "Head Gods" The CEOs, then there are lesser gods, like Amon, and Aldreni, who are also very powerful, but not quite as much as the Estari.

I would appreciate any more comments, what you guys think overall of the story, is it going too fast, too slow, is the plot too basic (which you might want to wait a few more chapters before claiming that) So on and so forth. I am considering what to write the next chapter about still...

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:45:28 >
DF  Post #: 66
12/21/2012 0:25:57   
VolosTheNuetral
Member

Its a great story. It had me hooked from the beggining to the end. It shed light on all the characters thus far. I loved it, and I want more. Your writing is a drug, and I am an addict.
AQW  Post #: 67
12/21/2012 5:13:54   
Legendium
Member

@Amon

Not in the least. I can't say I wasn't surprised, but I knew there would be changes necessary to fit your story. It's just a name in this story, not the original character I made.
DF MQ Epic  Post #: 68
12/24/2012 22:04:30   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Sorry the next chapter hasn't been posted yet! I am suffering from a horrible ailment called WRITER'S BLOCK. Yes. That's right, I'm stuck. I can't tell you when I'll have it up, could be tomorrow, could be in two weeks, I can't say. Just didn't want you guys to think that I've abandoned it, still would like any criticism on it.

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:45:54 >
DF  Post #: 69
12/28/2012 11:22:55   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Well, while I am still stuck, I need your opinion on something. Do you guys pronounce Amon's name 'Ae-mun'? Or 'Ah-mon'? In the meantime, check out the story that VolostheNuetral and I are Co-writing! http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=20956994&mpage=1&key=�

Though, it is post-DF, and Pre-AQW so it WILL contain spoilers from the Estari Gateway.

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:46:04 >
DF  Post #: 70
1/3/2013 18:19:34   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Well, I am working on the next chapter, it shouldn't take more than a half hour, hope you enjoy!!!

New chapter is FINISHED!!! Jack and Achrion have traveled to Falconreach, in search of passage to Swordhaven, though strange events have been occurring, and the road ahead does not look promising...

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:46:14 >
DF  Post #: 71
1/4/2013 17:46:42   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 I'm only posting this so it is noticeable, and some of you will pay attention, to comment on it!!!

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:46:26 >
DF  Post #: 72
1/6/2013 7:01:26   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
quote:

It is said, that it is one of the remains, of the ancient world.

I would say that you do not need any commas here.

quote:

A league of human mages, who consider it their 'duty' to control any Magi's use of magic.

A sort of Rose?

I do not believe that you explained to the readers that Jack and Achrion had travelled to a point past the cabin, which I personally assumed to be in Oaklore Forest. You make it sound as if Jack never came upon Falconreach or Verteroche before reaching the Elemental Foothills.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 73
1/6/2013 10:16:46   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Well, where The Rose try to 'Cut Off' Magic, this Order simply tries to limit it, so nobody rises up to take control. So they are good, in a sense, but they have flaws as well, you'll probably see them later on.

Well, they went down the Oaklore cliff instead of going east, across. Through where Amon broke from his pearl. I was going to have something happen with that. They go along the western coast, heading south, then head northeast. It's a bit complex, but I just mean to have them find some things, or run into some people, etc.

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 9/30/2013 13:23:03 >
DF  Post #: 74
1/9/2013 17:20:33   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Well, I've had an idea, if you guys want, I can try to post a new chapter every week-two weeks? Because when I had my writers block...it SUCKED! But, I am chock full of new ideas, but I don't want to spend them all in one short period of time. Comment with what you think.

< Message edited by Chaosweaver Amon -- 2/25/2013 15:46:47 >
DF  Post #: 75
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