RE: =AQ= Edge of Extinction War Stories and Poems Commentary


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2/16/2013 20:27:01

Tep Itaki
Friendly!

@Cataclysm: Sent you a PM and I hope I portrayed your character well enough as well as Ulthair's scene in To Each Their Battles
~~Btw I'm average height! XD~~

Hmm...the fight scene was intense...I think I'll re-read it again.
That's a way to end the fight, or is it the end Cataclysm?

Will be waiting for Elryn's part of the story.

EDIT:Will post my story after Elryn's story has been updated. I just need a few more things to have this chapter completed. Meanwhile I will be editing my chapter.

< Message edited by Tep Itaki -- 2/16/2013 20:45:42 >

AQW

Post #: 226

2/16/2013 21:05:30

Daimyo Daimyo
Member

New short inspired by Eschaton Thunder with him starring as the main character! Eschaton Thunder's Excommunication is found at the very bottom of my war story. Read to see the paladin get his just-desserts! Also, feel free to retaliate with your own slice of comedy, Eschaton Thunder. I'll be waiting.

Ah, my armor's much stronger since I've made a new addition to it...

< Message edited by Daimyo Daimyo -- 2/16/2013 21:11:17 >

MQ	Post #: 227

2/16/2013 22:28:16

Uskius
Creative!

...phew. Most Epic war in AQ history. Seeing how long some of the stories got, I'll try to edit in part two of mine and see if it fits.... and it does! Edit is successful. Hmm... I guess Fallen by Sarah McLachlan would be the outro song for my story. Here it is.

A hearty round of applause for all your stories. You deserve it.

< Message edited by Uskius -- 2/16/2013 22:54:40 >

Epic

Post #: 228

2/17/2013 1:36:15

battlemaster25
Member

Just posted the finale for my story. Phew, that battle scene was tough to write. I'm not used to long scenes with very little dialogue like that.

If you're wondering about the "Pom-Poms" bit, Tep asked me to include that line for whatever reason. Don't ask.

AQ	Post #: 229

2/17/2013 7:45:23

Darquess
Member

Hello procrastinators!

I see the padlins have won...

Not really sure how that happened but it dosnt really change my story much any way.

If you think about it, if the necromancers won, the Order would be after Dyson because he attacked them.
The padlins win, so they strom out from Granemor, flaten the necro's (I have no idea how I can talk myy way through that one) and then chase Dyson AND Grey right through the map.

Awsome chapter coming up I imagine....

AND it is indeed now so.
Enjoy.

By the way, the padlins have about two days of juice left in that holy might surge...

< Message edited by Darquess -- 2/17/2013 8:25:28 >

Post #: 230

2/17/2013 10:37:55

Travis Touchdown
Reality Touchdown!

Just a heads up... my finale will likely be delayed, potentially as much as a few days, due to a mounting pile of work, as well as receiving some bad news this morning that's making the subject matter... a bit difficult to write about.

Rest assured, I do not intend to leave it hanging, and have a definitive ending in mind... I just can't commit it to paper (or forum-post, whatever) at the moment.

AQW

Epic

Post #: 231

2/17/2013 17:33:01

Elryn

Custodian (DF)

Sorry for the delay, I have had a few things to do. The other part of the battle chapter is up. The continuation of the battle lies in Cataclysm's chapter.

I have two other chapters in mind if I may make it. One interlude that plays out during the battle chronicling the fate of Dravan and Jorsht and an Epilogue to wrap things up.

@Tep

I will get around to correcting those typos soon, thank you.

@Trainz

Many thanks. I find your own ability to portray the world around your character and his acquaintance fantastic.

AQ	Post #: 232

2/17/2013 21:59:01

Eschaton Thunder
Member

A Few Design Notes:

Anastasio was the necromancer whom I had originally envisioned to cleanse in Day 5 (Part II) of my war story. At the beginning of my writing I had intended to primarily use characters of my own creation, but because other people asked to be included in the story, I ended up making some adjustments, including replacing Anastasio with UnderSoul and then reincorporating Anastasio later in the story.

The prophecy of the day of sacrifice, which is first mentioned in the Prologue, was designed in anticipation of the war’s conclusion. Although I had no specific knowledge of how LB intended to end the war, it seemed obvious to me that something bad was going to happen to the Paladins, and thus they would have to give up or “sacrifice” something as the price of their victory. That sacrifice turned out to be the loss of their magic, which will be incorporated into my final chapter.

Obviously, I still need to finish my last chapter. My work schedule is currently inhibiting my free time, thus slowing down the writing process, but I hope to have it completed by tomorrow night.

@Daimyo Daimyo, ~~Retaliate? I don't have anything specific in mind, but we will see~~... Hict has responded instead.

Edit: My last chapter is now finished and posted.

< Message edited by Eschaton Thunder -- 2/19/2013 12:13:59 >

AQ	Post #: 233

2/17/2013 22:39:45

Tep Itaki
Friendly!

My new chapter, Titan Confrontation, is up. The explanation to the Pom-Poms is explained here :P

Also, reviews are greatly appreciated.

EDIT: To be honest, I wanted to have music accompany my story when I was writing it but decided against it because it would have taken away from the story. How Elryn did it was beautiful.

Currently working on the final chapter(?) of my war story. It will be updated.

EDIT: A small confession. I had planned to have a big battle involving all the ~~victims~~volunteers in my story but sadly, after reading the others' stories, that idea was scrapped, except for the one involving Drakeh and Ulthair but that had to be cut short >.>;;

< Message edited by Tep Itaki -- 2/18/2013 1:58:00 >

AQW

Post #: 234

2/17/2013 23:33:08

Cataclysm
The fanciest of moustaches

And what we learned from Elryn's stories: He's masterful at establishing the ambiance. Seriously, when I saw what he had done, I just shook my head. It's superb. The first couple of paragraphs before the fight that set the scene... So vivid and striking. I'm quite envious of that talent. I do acceptably, but Elryn does spectacularly.

Tep: Well done with the chapter. Unfortunate Tep was unable to continue viewing - I do wonder what an aerial view of the battle would have looked like. Ah well.

I haven't had the time to read everyone's stories thus far, but I will be certain to read them soon.

Post #: 235

2/18/2013 3:42:14

Trainz_07
Member

@Tep Itaki I loved how you managed to transition from one character to the other so seamlessly, you really give all your characters equal 'screen time'. I'm looking forward to see how you decide to end your story.

@Elryn Simply brilliant, and I must agree with Cataclysm, you have a natural ability to paint beautiful scenes with words. You also never fail to impress me with the magic in your story, very grandiose. And the inclusion of the songs were perfect for the respective scenes. Reading your story makes me strive to improve my own writing =)

@Cataclysm I was impressed by how your character so deftly dealt with the magic spells that were meted out against him, and the whole battle was just very believable to me, great job!

As for my own story, I'll try to finish it as soon as possible. The next chapter will probably be the last. Probably.

AQ	Post #: 236

2/18/2013 14:58:45

She Ratchet!
Member

Part VI of my story is up!

@Elryn: *_* I'm hooked. I really have nothing to say other than Me= Jealous.

Post #: 237

2/18/2013 17:37:19

Elryn

Custodian (DF)

*Elryn explodes from all the compliments*

On a more serious note though, *grins* I am simply glad you liked it. Cataclysm skill when it comes to describing battle scenes outmatches mine in my opinion.

The interlude is up, although perhaps not the best name. Sorry if this one is not up to par. I want to finish this story as soon as I can as the war has already ended. The Epilogue is all that is left. Hopefully, that will not take as long.

On a more important note, I would like to thank everyone that put the effort into writing a war story and gave everyone a splendid story to read during the war. I am fairly certain we hit a new record in the amount of literature that was put out in this war. Well wared!

AQ	Post #: 238

2/18/2013 19:30:29

Tep Itaki
Friendly!

@Elryn: Hee hee, you better get use to it, the way you've written your piece was fantastic, this is true especially with the writing style you displayed.

@Cataclysm: Thank you

and true, things did go somewhere unexpected for me as well. The situation changed when I saw the battle.

@Trainz: Thank you and yesh I feel that every character deserves their screen time as they all contribute to the story as a whole.

On another note, Consequences and Epilogue: Another Story is up in my war story.
I've added the word prologue to the first chapter. Finished editing anything I could find in my whole story.

Please tell me what you think of the last two remaining chapters and if you find any plot holes in my story (if you have time to read it again), please do tell me. Also reviews, critiques and feedback are greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoyed my story.

The epilogue, as many of you realized, is the start of a new story I plan to write when I have free time. Music and picture accompaniment...when I have my drawing program up and running.

Also, reviews will be done after tomorrow when my schedule doesn't seem so packed. There have been a lot of good addition to stories, especially with Falerin's demi-canonical piece.

< Message edited by Tep Itaki -- 2/19/2013 9:26:33 >

AQW

Post #: 239

2/19/2013 11:49:21

Trainz_07
Member

@Tep Itaki Congratulations again on your finished story, it was heartening to see the siblings reunite, and I'm glad you managed to tie up the loose ends in the end. The best part for me was how you've made the ending scenes to be so...congenial, so to speak. The one suggestion that I would propose is concerning paragraph splitting. Perhaps you could separate a paragraph into multiples ones, so that people can read it more easily. An example would be the paragraph where the siblings met with TC and CS. Great job!

I have also updated my own war story, and I say update because it still is not finished. I apologies in advance for any grammatical hiccups. At any rate, I hope you enjoy the two new chapters.

AQ	Post #: 240

2/19/2013 15:43:26

Elryn

Custodian (DF)

All right, the epilogue is done. I was not quite certain with the music I gave a large selection (really, that should be more than enough to read all of it). The poem seems like a crotchet, but I will leave it there *shrugs*.

And splendid chapters as always, Trainz.

AQ	Post #: 241

2/20/2013 9:26:30

Archmopecake
Member

Caught up on sleep after the war, now I can jump into some stories. So far I read Muchiha's, some of Eschaton's to see what the fuss was (

), and started on Tep's.

Muchiha - snappy and fun. I really like the prologue letter's introduction of humane necromancy with Etheron consulting dead spirits on whether they would be raised by him, it's inventive and compelling, that letter is really impressive in my opinion. I also got into the named attack moves in Chap 4, those are cool. (*now here's hoping Muchiha's still around*)

Tep, Prologue and Unstable Calm - mentions of holy hand grenades in the war thread always made sense to me, now they make even more sense :p. I like how the stormy feel gets across and still works casually with the whimsical/epic weapons. I am intrigued that Rixi is a wizard vampire like me, yet on opposite sides. It seems more apparently out of place for me to be a Paladin yet I was always more sure than Rixi of my side even with the no happy endings warnings from Barrius, so that's a very interesting vis a vis to me. Rixi: "You know that I'm jumpy whenever I'm in deep thoughts.", I feel like this is charming, it's believable and brings out a lot of definition. I have an extreme tendency to change common phrases around so I like it just for being that little bit different. Tep's "If you start making that face, you'll age to an old lady quicker." is great too, I love the colloquial flow of how they talk.

Looking forward to reading more, better get to it.

Tep, Storm of War, Necromancer's Justification - Rixi's story becomes very dramatic, love the PeaceZard and the Necro general characters. I really like the drama of the red tears and "And it seems to have swallowed her up." Paladin's Resolution, Brother My Brother Now I get who the twelve friends were, that was confusing me. Pet names... yay :) I love the Pally characters too, nice touch with flash doing Nighthunter training - getting an odd feeling of fighting the war again. Wow the Brother My Brother battlefield scene really got me hooked. A Dire Situation - Titan Confrontation Very interested in Rixi's defense of Zombay... didn't expect the possibility of a twist with how he was introduced. I like the Diretooth reference, the oak fur, and the final line of Hell may have no fury like a woman's scorn but even that scorn is no match to anger when family is involved is good. Grammar: Then, Elryn struck Rixi surreptitiously on a nerve in her neck, causing her to lose conscience... conscience ----> consciousness. It's truly cool that there's a link with Elryn and Cataclysm's stories, and with Travis Touchdown's?

Tep, Consequences and Epilogue Another great Lycan description with Artimix. Grammar: her state still revealed she should not have [been] up and about. I like how the new characters came into the story without interrupting it, also the turnaround on Tep who was somewhat of a sage father figure through the story and then gets shut down :P.

I suppose this post is getting long so I will pick She Ratchet!'s story for any more comments in this one because I remember posts about the Artix playing chess scene from when I made my first post.

< Message edited by Archmopecake -- 2/20/2013 11:21:36 >

AQ	Post #: 242

2/20/2013 16:10:07

Darquess
Member

Tep, there is always room for battle scenes in war stories.
Why not put it in, it adds a large climax to the whole thing.
I mean, my guys are in a fight every five sentences because of who they are, but they have bigger fights than others...

Incidently, the last chapter is out....

wait for it...

EDIT: NOW!

We shall be seeing the adventurers back again in their next story.
And this story shall be saved in MS Word and releashed together with all the others as part of the overall saga.

Enjoy the full story guys!

(That means you can catch up on it now, Tep)

< Message edited by Darquess -- 2/20/2013 16:43:51 >

Post #: 243

2/20/2013 18:27:18

Tep Itaki
Friendly!

@Archmopecake: Thank you for the review! I've made the changes to my story grammar wise. Much appreciated

@Darquess: I will get right on it! Today's a full day and I've gotten a full rest and my epic music playlist is playing. Reviews will be up! Also, if I added a fight scene, my story would probably be much longer than Fal's and I'm still wary of the length of my post...

@Trainz: Thank you for your review. I've made changes with my story to make it easier to read. Thank you very much again for reading my stories.

....Again, I am so sorry for the lateness

Please forgive me m(_ _)m

EDIT:Will be reading everything over again.

< Message edited by Tep Itaki -- 2/20/2013 18:35:36 >

AQW

Post #: 244

2/21/2013 9:28:17

Trainz_07
Member

Finally, I am done with my war story. *Hands out cookies for everyone

It certainly has been a journey, writing this war story. Up till now, I have never written something as long or as detailed as 'The Dead Shall Rise'. It has been a fun and enriching experience.

I would like to express my sincerest thanks to all the people who took the time to read and review my story. Your kind words have really motivated me to write and write and write. Writing this story has really helped me come out of my shell, so to speak, and gradually become more active on the forums.

A special thank you to my fellow writers, Tep Itaki and Elryn. You guys have stuck to my story from beginning till the end, which means a lot to me. *Hands you brownies

Lastly, I would like to thank all the writers, who have spun great stories themselves, well done everybody!

I hope you enjoy my story. Comments and critique are all appreciated.

AQ	Post #: 245

2/22/2013 0:01:42

Elryn

Custodian (DF)

*Elryn grins*

And both are read and done. I must say, both your stories leave me wondering what will happen next. Tep seems to be in a humorous bind, Trainz was unexpected.

And most welcomed. 'Twas a pleasure to read yours as well. Best of luck on your writings.

< Message edited by Elryn -- 2/22/2013 0:02:59 >

AQ	Post #: 246

2/22/2013 0:21:02

UnderSoul
Member

So you've finally finished? Well now for my input. A magnificent story that is one of the best, if not the best, one I've read out of the war stories.

AQW

Epic

Post #: 247

2/23/2013 23:07:22

battlemaster25
Member

Since I am entirely too lazy to read everything and review, I've cherry-picked my favorite stories.

Trainz: The level of detail you provide simply astounds me. All of your characters have distinct personalities and mannerisms, and it really helps with the immersion. I think Obsidia is my favorite, the banter between her and Scion is quite fun to read. Overall, a very solid story.

Tep Itaki: Excellent characterization. You really captured the feel of this family that is torn by the war, yet you show that they ultimately value each other more than the war. It's excellently written, and I do so love family-drama like that. Thanks for giving me a cameo, too.

Travis Touchdown: Death's Kid is quite the character. He's both menacing and dangerous, as well as surprisingly empathic and relatively merciful. Yeah, he kills that Paladin, but only because said Paladin screwed up the second chance he'd been offered. Also, the idea of fighting not to destroy the Paladins, but to redeem them, is quite interesting. Very good work.

AQ	Post #: 248

2/24/2013 2:43:01

Trainz_07
Member

Thank you for the kind comments everyone, it brings me great joy to hear that you enjoyed reading my story

< Message edited by Trainz_07 -- 2/24/2013 8:19:03 >

AQ	Post #: 249

2/25/2013 15:28:14

Darquess
Member

When I said the tale was finished...

there is another now in the Trumpha chronicles!

Yes, I know Dyson is supposed to be on the run.
They just happen upon the camp on the way.

Enjoy both!

Do try to read all of the first one... there will be questions and answers given in later stories you know.

Post #: 250

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