Dwelling Dragonlord 
		    ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L 
    		   
    		   
		      
		   
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		  quote:
  His mother, Gloria<> was a Guardian, and his father, Joseph, a Dragonlord.    ,      quote:
  Agathor is just about ready to leave for an adventure, when a tall, dark figure arrived at his home one night.    was      quote:
  When he entered the living room, he seen his mother dead on the floor, and his father being killed by this dark figure.    saw      quote:
  Agathor had gone to the Guardian Tower, to his parent's funeral.    parents'      quote:
  After a full days walk, Agathor, Hugo, and Sven made it to a safe spot to set up camp for the night.    day's      quote:
  They were very close to <> the challenge of making it to the stranger,    completing       quote:
  It has been 3 days since Agathor was brought to the Inn, and Silnior has found out everything Agathor has.    had      quote:
  Silnior was frightened to see the path that Agathor took.    by, had taken      quote:
  Agathor seen this    saw      quote:
  Thats when Agathor put the armor on.    That was      quote:
  After he got there, he seen that there was a dark necromancer and an army of undead attacking.    saw      quote:
  Sneeking up to the Necromancer, Unsheathing Agathor's Excalibur, and cast an evil spell onto it.    Sneaking, unsheathing      quote:
  He explained that Agathor did a great job, and that he agrees that he should use this armor when he fights Zephyr <>.    agreed, fought, again       First up, Vilmor is the only dragonlord known to have bonded with a Great Elemental Dragon.      The story itself feels a bit bland. You need to put more detail into your descriptions about what happens. As it is it is very hard to get a sense of immersion, as a reader I was constantly aware of the fact that I was reading a story. A good example of this would be this.      quote:
  Using his powers, he practiced for a couple hours.       That doesn't tell me a lot. You need to give your readers something for them to visualize.  
			
								
			
			
				  
				  		 	
		  
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