Dwelling Dragonlord
ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
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As per requested by Zyrain, I will go over the quest he wrote here.
quote:
«A storm is brewing over the island of Paxia. The inhabitants can feel the energy surge through their veins with every pulse. Something is coming, something which will change Paxia and the rest of Lore forever. This strange atmosphere has appeared from nowhere, as if out of nothing. However, the Paxians must always remember:
"Creatio ex nihilo."
Nothing comes from nothing.»
An excellent piece of foreshadowing.
quote:
«Jacques enters the scene.»
You could perhaps describe what Jacques look like in this scene. Especially seeing he already showed three different elemental forms.
quote:
«The scene changes to the island of Paxia. It is sunset. «You» and Jacques enter.»
«You»: So tell me, Jacques. What is this all about?
Jacques: It would appear you're about to find out first hand...
6 BATTLES
Random Void Monsters
Full Heals after battles #2, #4 and #6.
«You»: Void monsters?! But how? Jacques, tell me NOW!
Is that "NOW!" the player character's frustration which manifests itself or just a blunt reaction?
quote:
Igneox: Jacques, you've returned!
Dynamo: And with «You»!
«You»: All the clan leaders together in unity? Something must be wrong!
Noctros: Well... not "all" of them now there's a ninth leader...
Lucius: Enough, Noctros! What he means is that it is worse than what you predicted, Jacques.
Jacques: No no no, how can this be? I thought the prophecy was nothing more than a legend; a child's fairytale!
«You»: Will someone please explain to me what is going on?! How can there be a ninth Paxia clan?!
Nauticia: We speak of an ancient prophecy which Jacques discovered many years ago. It speaks of an evil creature who attempts to universalize Paxia and its elements through the power of the Void.
Glaciar: Let Jacques explain the rest of the prophecy.
The clan leaders seem portrayed well enough, but I am unsure why Jacques would know of a Paxian prophecy while the clan leaders wouldn't. The main thing about it is that I don't even know if Jacques is a native Paxian. He was introduced to Paxia after joining Nautica.
quote:
There are eight clans within Paxia, one to represent each element of Lore. Fire, Water, Wind, Earth, Energy, Light and Darkness. However, there is another element at the heart of Lore... the element of Void.
There are a few things to consider. Void is not an element, rather something which is attuned to all the elements, opposed to all the elements and lacking any elements. At the heart of Lore there is the mana core from which all the mana flows into the planet. This mana is polluted by elemental energies. I would describe it not as an element, but rather another "force".
quote:
«The scene changes to Monolith Island. The sky is a chaotic purple, with lightning flashes across the sky. The Negatus statue is visible, but has purple and pulsating eyes and gems. «You», Jacques and the eight clan leaders enter.»
By this point I am wondering what became of Paxus if this became of the island he and Negatus shared.
quote:
Jacques: I'm afraid there won't be any army to lead, «You». You must confront Inritos alone. If any of us go near him, he will use Negatus' power to neutralise our elements making us vulnerable and useless.
A nice little addition to explain why the clan leaders and Jacques cannot help you out, but I do wonder how the player character is supposed to overcome such an obstacle as well. Is this perhaps an ability of "the Chosen" or does Inritos just allow the player character to pass since he is apparently already awaiting the Chosen according to the prophecy?
quote:
«The scene changes to a room in the tower. Inritos is sitting in his throne. There are purple glowing eyes in the background. «You» enters.»
on
A bit basic perhaps, I don't know how to envision Inritos right now. He could be tall, short, fat, lean or muscled.
I hope this helps with improving your quest, should you have more questions then I'll more than happily answer what I can.
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