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RE: =AQ= War of the Fangs: Evolution! War Stories and Poems Commentary

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2/14/2014 11:50:52   
kors
Member

Well, looks like I really picked an appropriate title for the next part of mine! I have fallen very far off my original writing timeline, so I sped up a little and then I got sick... Right now I am also very far behind in reading too, so don't expect to hear much about other peoples stories for a while.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 76
2/14/2014 14:00:36   
battlemaster25
Member

I just posted my next chapter. Hoo boy, is it a big one.....
AQ  Post #: 77
2/14/2014 16:57:07   
Uskius
Member

^ Oh gosh. Did NOT see that coming. Very interesting development, BM25.
AQ Epic  Post #: 78
2/16/2014 13:30:20   
tommy2468
Member

Chapter Two is up.

I also still need some more characters for my story. So if anyone wants included feel free to send me a PM :)
AQ  Post #: 79
2/16/2014 22:09:01   
Disc Lorde
Member

New chapter of my war story up. It took me way too long, I know.

@UnderSoul: I liked the conversation between Lord Scorpio and Safiria. It fits with my view of Safiria and that was a nice twist with Lord Scorpio getting demoted.

@battlemaster: Great story, keep it up.

@tommy: Great story. I particularly liked the exchange between Wyrm and Constantine. Why do you put all your non-dialogue in bold and between angle brackets though? Seems to clutter the page to me.

@Usukis: Wow, what a story. Quite a badass main character you have there, and that was a cute ending.

@ss: Cool story. For anyone who read Muchiha's story, what a tweest!

@vamplycan: Hmm, interesting. I don't really like how you portray the werewolves as near-mindless animals.

I've probably missed some additions. I'll make sure to respond to everything once the war is over.
AQ  Post #: 80
2/17/2014 7:18:07   
tommy2468
Member

It's just the way I've been writing so far :L If it is cluttered looking then I suppose I could change it to keep everything to the left, rather than moving it to the center.

I prefer having non-dialogue stand out more because I tend to have a lot taking place in terms of actions and thoughts.

Thanks for the input, will change it to make it a little easier to read :)


Edit: Okay got that edited so hopefully that is easier to read, also got Chapter Three: Defence against Destruction up

< Message edited by tommy2468 -- 2/17/2014 11:09:35 >
AQ  Post #: 81
2/17/2014 14:09:48   
vamplycan
Member

@Disc Lorde Thank you for reading my story, but fear not. There is an explanation to all things. If I can post in a timely manner, I hope you change your opinion from interesting to delightful. Also if you read some of my other stories involving Shinou, you may understand his perspective a little more. He's not exactly the take notice of your surroundings kind of guy.
Also, though I'm sure you noticed, my story is filtered through a flawed first person perspective and not a third person omniscient narrative. This means that you will receive the characters bias and observations. Allows me to play around with some descriptions and events that may not be happening exactly how it is explained.

Shinou story 2

< Message edited by vamplycan -- 2/18/2014 13:06:24 >
AQ  Post #: 82
2/17/2014 21:29:31   
popinloopy
Member

As I stated on the first page and would like to restate, anyone can use my character without asking.
I might make a story after the war finishes.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 83
2/18/2014 10:12:39   
UnderSoul
Member

Added another part! Pretty much just a lot of dialogue, but this turns the battle into a war, and ties much together.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 84
2/18/2014 13:01:35   
tommy2468
Member

Got a few reviews to make:

@Muchiha I really liked your detail and explanation of the kit that they acquired. It made for an interesting read.

@battlemaster25 I always enjoy a good revenge story and Storm has very good reason to want revenge. I am glad that you opted to keep Gale alive too. Awaiting to see Storm's reaction in your next chapter :)

@kors Very good read so far. In the past your's have been some of my favourite stories to read and I'm sure this will be another winner!


I'll have to take a break but I'll write some more reviews later on. Hopefully I'll actually see some writers that don't completely hate the Vampires! :P Most of the stories I've read so far have been very negative towards the Vampires :(

Also if anyone would like to use my characters Hikari Yume or Kurai Yume feel free to work away with them in your stores :) (they will be either neutral, or for the Vampires) Feel free to ask questions about them as well.
AQ  Post #: 85
2/18/2014 16:12:17   
battlemaster25
Member

quote:

I'll have to take a break but I'll write some more reviews later on. Hopefully I'll actually see some writers that don't completely hate the Vampires! :P Most of the stories I've read so far have been very negative towards the Vampires :(


I don't hate vampires, I just like werewolves a bit more.

Storm hates vampires, but his views don't reflect mine. Besides, considering the end of my latest chapter, even that might be changing soon.....
AQ  Post #: 86
2/18/2014 23:21:27   
rosaxx50
Member

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. It's been a while since I've managed to write anything, so it was definitely much appreciated. vamplycan, I can't say I used pathetic fallacy on purpose, but I'm glad it worked anyway.

@battlemaster25 - I must say, I was wondering if his brother had survived after that vampire lord laughed at Storm. Didn't expect his brother to save him though, at all, so I can't wait to see how this changes Storm's POV on vampires (+ all his killing of them).

@Kors - Those fight scenes are excellent.

quote:

Rinia felt no real ill will towards him. It was not a surprise that she was not too disturbed anymore. Maybe she even...


*Waggles eyebrows*

But that entire chapter--now that's how you do a cliffhanger.

@Undersoul -

quote:

"Lord Scorpio, you are hereby restored to your former position at my side. Victor, you will not be demoted, but that may change if you do not correct your decisions for troops."


LOL. Poor Xander. I love the role the forums are playing in your story. Wolf Pack and its strength indeed.

Rest of the reviews to come later.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 87
2/19/2014 1:56:22   
battlemaster25
Member

BAM! New chapter is up!

Compared to the more action-y last couple chapters, this one is SUPER dialogue-heavy. I also tried something new, in the form of a flashback. The flashback is all in a different color, so it should be obvious which section it is.

(Also, forgive me if it gets a bit smarmy towards the end. I figured the previous chapters were a bit grim, so we needed a change of pace.)

< Message edited by battlemaster25 -- 2/19/2014 1:57:12 >
AQ  Post #: 88
2/20/2014 10:37:11   
UnderSoul
Member

New section! Incomplete, for now, but the end's beginning will continue!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 89
2/20/2014 14:22:10   
kors
Member

I suppose I should probably get back to writing mine huh? I am going through a writers block that is exceptionally stubborn... Anyway, I'll get to reading everyone else's real quick!
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 90
2/20/2014 17:19:06   
vamplycan
Member

@Muchiha nice battle sequence. It seems the army poses little to threat the wolf pack. I wonder what they will throw next.

@BattleMaster This might have been my favorite chapter actually. No need for apologizing Keep it going!

@kors I think this is well put together. Can't wait until its finished

@Undersoul Muchiha has joined the story. Interesting and already I get a description of muchiha that gives me more understanding of his own story.

@SS I see another member of the wolfpack has arrived. I haven't read the whole thing yet, and I still need to get to more stories. Will give more time to them soon.
AQ  Post #: 91
2/21/2014 10:25:07   
UnderSoul
Member

Finished the Muchiha scene. An epic fight is involved!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 92
2/21/2014 20:26:29   
Uskius
Member

Added on a little bit to mine, that probably doesn't fit with the rest. If you read my story, let me know what you think of the second part.

And hopefully, now that the war's over, everyone's stories will be done soon.
AQ Epic  Post #: 93
2/21/2014 22:00:17   
rosaxx50
Member

So, one eternity later, PART TWO of my story. With added blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameos from certain characters.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 94
2/21/2014 23:11:40   
UnderSoul
Member

@rosaxx Very good, I particularly enjoyed the little snippets of conversation you put.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 95
2/22/2014 0:37:21   
battlemaster25
Member

My fifth chapter has just been posted! Bit of action, bit of dialogue, bit of description. This chapter has some of everything. It's also my last normal chapter, although the story isn't over yet. Still an epilogue coming up sometime.
AQ  Post #: 96
2/22/2014 21:55:10   
kors
Member

Got what I have of Part V up. I've just lost all drive for this one really, I just can't think of what comes next. I think I might be able to get out of it soon, since this has happened before. This sort of thing always happens, I get distracted for a few hours and all my plans vanish from my head before I can get them down. It's not always this drastic of a stop, if any of you have read any of my other stories, well you've seen that most of them have pretty unsatisfying endings. I just seem to be unable to write any decent, satisfying ends.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 97
2/24/2014 10:28:11   
UnderSoul
Member

I added a lovely ending! it truly reflects what happens at the end of any war I fight. I'll add an epilogue later, but for those who like a happy ending with no loose strings, feel free to just enjoy the last chapter.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 98
2/25/2014 21:39:02   
Muchiha
Member

So many stories/story updates to read, so little time...

I'm happy you wrote one for this War UnderSoul. kors and everyone else, you'll have your reviews. Please bear with me!!!!!
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 99
2/26/2014 10:19:38   
UnderSoul
Member

Added a short, one paragraph epilogue that shows how all the battles have affected Scorpio. Sometime soon I will give in-depth reviews for the stories.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 100
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