In the end, since you are the one writing it, you can make any changes you like. Just don't change your mind too much, otherwise it'll inhibit your creativity.
Earlier I gave some writing advice, but I didn't give you any art advice:
Cartoony is good, but try to think about how the character might move. Human anatomy can be broken up into geometry- cylinders and spheres. The legs are two cylinders- they curve in at the knees and ankles (the points of rotation). Same with the arms- they curve in at the elbows and wrists.
In cartoony styles such as (cartoony) anime, while the shoulders and head aren't anatomically correct, the heads are actually almost normal size. Most of the contrast is given by the narrower shoulders. With shoulders, the trick is the angle- try to make them the same slope as an anatomically correct pair of shoulders.
Anatomically correct shoulders are three (anatomically correct) head widths across, with a slight variation depending on how wide your character's shoulders are.
The golden ratio tells us that hips are approximately two (anatomically correct) heads wide for males, and very slightly wider for females.
It wouldn't hurt to practice some drawings that are anatomically correct, since every drawing you ever do will benefit your art skills :). But that's up to you.
All of this advice, of course, depends on how cartoonified you want your characters. In general I think that hints of anatomy make things look better, but there are many cartoons that don't bother with that.
Here's some general purpose advice:
Try to keep your pencils with a reasonably sharp point for drawing with. This will make the details stand out more, and it means you don't have to press as hard- freeing your hand up so you have more control over the pencil! It will also make the colours from coloured pencils show up more strongly and evenly.
Not all of this advice is necessarily useful for you, but I figured it was better to give you some feedback and take a risk. Good work.
Never stop practicing, and have faith in yourself!
< Message edited by Shiny_Underpants -- 6/5/2019 9:53:42 >