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=DF= War In The Core - War Stories and Poetry Discussion

 
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7/11/2014 20:12:01   
Melissa4Bella
AmeSylph


Here you may discuss all stories and poems written for the War!

=DF= War In The Core - War Stories and Poetry


< Message edited by Melissa4Bella -- 7/11/2014 20:13:45 >
AQ DF  Post #: 1
7/11/2014 22:47:24   
kors
Member

Well, here I go! Second DF War story ever activate! I still have not come up with an official name for it yet, but it'll come in it's own time. For now, enjoy Part I of my story. The action will start up soon enough...
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 2
7/11/2014 23:08:39   
Jaden
Friendly!


Story's posted.
DF  Post #: 3
7/12/2014 3:15:49   
Ferakin
Member

Once again, I made my specialty. Specifically, little to no interesting combat, mostly just introduction for a character. How wonderful, but at least I put something down here like I intend to for every war in the foreseeable future. Care not about the quality of your writing, but the fact that you wrote something.
DF MQ  Post #: 4
7/12/2014 18:42:32   
Jaden
Friendly!


Just added a new section, as well as some revisions to the second section, in order to better suit Tomix's character (Or at least my interpretation of it) . The fourth and final part will have plenty of action, and much less talking.

Ferakin, your story was very enjoyable. The crossover from Mechquest (If I'm right in assuming that was what it was) was done quite well.

< Message edited by Jaden -- 7/12/2014 19:08:01 >
DF  Post #: 5
7/13/2014 2:55:20   
SNAKSuyun
Member

I very much enjoyed each and every entry! Posted mine just now, Tomix feels overflowing too much for me to not write anything.

Kor's entry had a great mood setup and made me feel like I'm standing there in the corridor, surrounded by voidspawn. It has a distinct sense of hope to it and I really hope we can just beat up Envy and all go home.

Jaden's entry made me really, really sad about Tomix. It does a great job of show not tell, which I'm personally sorely lacking at, haha. It focuses on the human element (heh) a lot more than Kor's entry, and I think it can use some more references to the environment/physical settings. The eerieness of the Void can really add a punch to the feels.

Ferakin's entry was quite well written language/style-wise, although I don't really know how to comment since I'm not very familiar with Mechquest.
DF  Post #: 6
7/13/2014 9:52:34   
Jaden
Friendly!


Thank you SNACKSuyun, your words hearten me. And you have shown a rather deep understanding of Tomix's struggles, so don't sell yourself short. Your story was well written.
DF  Post #: 7
7/14/2014 20:31:14   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


Huh. Well I wrote a downer of a war story. Not quite sure where half of it came from. I think it was supposed to end on a more hopeful note. Oh, well. Maybe another writing attempt will be more cheerful.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 8
7/14/2014 20:56:11   
Mortarion
Member

Wow, great story Gingkage it was really good and it got me really sad. But it's in fact due to that that I think the writing is superb, since it conveys the emotions of your character so well that he might as well be a real person; so I urge you to keep up with writing for this war since you are a great writer.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 9
7/14/2014 22:28:56   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


Glad you like it. I was worried that people would think that it's too angsty and that the hero wouldn't think that. But people tend to blame themselves for things outside of their control and guilt is very very powerful. These are just facts of life.

It made me sad, too. Thought I was gonna cry while I was writing it. Though I really do think that our character, the hero, is not nearly as dumb as s/he lets on.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 10
7/14/2014 22:35:53   
Mortarion
Member

Yeah, it depends entirely on how you interpret it. I always interpret it as the way of my hero to mask his sadness/pain, so maybe that's why I liked it so much and if you see the stories most of them are sad or angsty so no need to worry and keep up the good work :)
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 11
7/15/2014 13:50:13   
kors
Member

Added a bit more to mine! I find it hilarious that I actually got a bit of my story surprisingly close to the 50% cutscene(Aigis protecting Kor's back from a Decadere attack, although mine was a Decadere Guard rather than Youngling), which I had actually gotten down a day or two earlier. Oh well, enjoy!

Oh, and I loved your story Ginkage! It is always nice to see that the PC does sometimes feel bad for what has happened in the past and pretending to be idiot in order to liven people's spirits.

< Message edited by kors -- 7/15/2014 16:28:13 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 12
7/16/2014 11:07:29   
The Odor
Member

I posted a... Thing. Didn't feel like writing a story so I making a faux guide for the creatures we are facing. Decadere Youngling and Decadere Guard down.
Suggestions for what to add to the descriptions are welcome.

< Message edited by The Odor -- 7/16/2014 20:19:38 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 13
7/17/2014 10:01:53   
Jaden
Friendly!


Odor, I like your encyclopedia of void monsters. In fact, I actually edited my story in order to compensate for the fact the Decedere aren't able to fly.
DF  Post #: 14
7/17/2014 11:52:06   
The Odor
Member

Thanks Jaden, I really liked your story. Especially the exchange between the Dragon and the Hero.

Dragonman: ... You know what I think of you and your fourth estate. Yeez, I used to work for you. You really need to keep this up, we need (unbiased ) news in these dark days.

Kors: I love your depiction of Chronomancy.

Ferakin: Mechquest crossover? Awesome. No more needs to be said.

SNAKsuyun: Much angst... Very good angst.

Gingkage: The discussion about Tomix hits in the feels.

< Message edited by The Odor -- 7/17/2014 11:54:43 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 15
7/17/2014 12:59:44   
Dragonman
Member

Thanks The Odor!

OK I'm really liking all of them I've read so far (as always we have a very talented group of writers and me :P), but I especially liked Gingkage's interpretation of The Hero. That was really good.

I am, as always, reading whatever war stories I happen to skip when I need a break.
DF AQW Epic  Post #: 16
7/17/2014 13:14:33   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


Y'all are going to turn me into a tomato...

I'm glad the story's well-liked, though. I write for my own enjoyment first, but it's always nice to know that people I'm sharing it with enjoy what they read.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 17
7/17/2014 15:09:41   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


@Ginkage: Very good story, though my own hero wouldn't really feel responsible for the defection of someone to the other side. Most likely only the things happening to Tomix would hit true.

By the way, you wouldn't happen to know if Faerdin will show up with % story to boost the morale, would you?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 18
7/17/2014 15:28:45   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


Honestly, Dwelling, I didn't think my hero blamed herself for some of the stuff that was referenced. :/

But I still maintain that it's not completely implausible. People tend to blame themselves for things beyond their control and guilt is really, really powerful.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 19
7/17/2014 15:41:45   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


@Ginkage: That it is, that it is.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 20
7/17/2014 15:48:46   
  Gingkage
Wolf Rider


To put a name to it, what I wrote is, in essence, survivor's guilt. The hero survived when so many others died, and worse the hero survived when so many others died and they had the power to potentially stop it. So that automatically means that it's their fault, and why did those other people die and not them?* Didn't plan on writing it that way, didn't even occur to me until now, but, yea. There's a term for it.

*Note: I'm not entirely certain how survivor's guilt works, never having suffered from it or having read in-depth into it. So don't take that explanation as the definition.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 21
7/17/2014 18:50:20   
The Odor
Member

Added a new section: The Natives of the Void and the Void Spawn.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 22
7/17/2014 19:07:36   
Ferakin
Member

Oh man, ze emotions and feels coming from these stories, it gets to me. I love it, which should probably worry me seeing as that's some dark, sad stuff and I love that kind of thing, but I'm too busy fanboying over this. Lemme get this in order here...

Dragonman: Space Jam? You have won my eternal respect, which you already had, so now you have twice the original amount. That's a lot of respect there. Also, now I know what piano song that is after all this time of wondering, thank you.

Kors: That's some badass action going on there. Lotsa fighting with a nice moment between the Hero and his Dragon, me likey.

Jaden: Even more sweet action, and the growing concern for Tomix coming from your titular character was quite nice. Once more, you have also shown tough guys proving that they have feels too, which is something I always look forward to whenever I discover a tough guy character. There's always something more to them.

SNAKSuyun & Gingkage: Combining these two together because they consist of the one thing I love most: introspection. I absolutely adore inner monologue-ing, which is why I kinda don't want to write it, seeing as I'll probably drag it out for far too long in a totally in-eloquent way. Love reading that stuff though, especially when its all angsty, so this was a treat. Also loved all the self-deprecation, which is something I probably shouldn't be a fan of, but I am. And Ging, from my best opinion, I believe survivor's guilt comes from situations where you could've died when everyone else did instead. It starts out as feeling bad that other people died when they really shouldn't have, you having no good reason why you're still alive yourself, and it can easily landslide into why you deserved to die there where everyone who did clearly deserved to live much more. It can tear you apart, man.

San Robin: A cheesy poem that actually rhymes! Better than any stanza I've ever written. Well done, sir.

The Odor: A guide to the creatures of the war, eh? Don't suppose you'd want to make it into an encyclopaedia, with entries for monsters in each coming war. I'd love to read more about the individual monsters, with their appearances and tendencies and tactics, etc. Especially if you insert more of your own thoughts into it, making it more humorous. Be cool if it was all eventually compiled into one place, too.

Getting this praise simply for doing a crossover, it feels like I cheated somehow, feel all dirty here. Gonna have to write something actually, plausibly, scientifically good next time.
DF MQ  Post #: 23
7/17/2014 19:25:16   
The Odor
Member

Fera: I actually have this dreadful urge to do that. It has really helped with this writers block I've been suffering for awhile... I am feeling kind of cheap though... Its basically me reacting to art...
And honestly your story was nice anyways. I liked the characterisation and the shifts in perspective were eloquent.

< Message edited by The Odor -- 7/17/2014 19:31:21 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 24
7/17/2014 20:26:03   
Dragonman
Member

@Ferakin: Firstly, you can thank Mordred for Space Jam. but it helped me get out of the Jam of figuring out something to write about :P.

Secondly this sentence made me actually laugh. I know it's not a part of your story, but whatever.
quote:

Also loved all the self-deprecation, which is something I probably shouldn't be a fan of, but I am
DF AQW Epic  Post #: 25
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