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RE: =EC 2014= OOC: The Gates Are Open

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8/8/2014 13:22:37   
Siruiz
Member

This character has been rejected because the power of their abilities far exceeds that which is reasonable for the EC. The chemicals alone present significant problems, particularly the one which you've billed as causing memory loss. In addition to these, you've provided Zorad with high levels of aptitude in several areas of combat with very little conceivable downside. I believe that this concept can be salvaged, but you'll need to do some rather considerable downgrading in order to bring him into line. ~Ryu

Name: Zorad
Gender: Male
Age: 39
Race: Merfolk
Element: Water

Appearance:

With a look in his eye's of pure madness and utter determination, Zorad stands 5'9”. While no one is sure if the crown of coral he wears is signifying royalty among merfolk, or has just grown over his face over time, it shields any hair Zorad might have had in the past.

While sharing the blue skin all merfolk possess, Zorad's is tinted with green and much more pale, contributing once again to his strange appearance.
He wears what appears to be a heavy cloak, but moves around with ease. He also has an oddly textured belt around his cloak, contributing to the rumour that he is royalty among merfolk.
From what the rumours say, Zorad possesses strange items and materials, although the only real weapon he has is a staff with a stone on it.

Zorad bares a necklace, held together with seaweed, and at the end, a seashell. The seashell appears to have something inscribed on it, but no one has ever gotten close enough to find out. Zorad has been seen gazing at this seashell, which leads people to believe it's very important to him.

Equipment:

With the exception of looking insane, Zorad appears harmless. Upon closer inspection, one would be proven otherwise.

Zorad's cloak is aligned with lightweight coral plating, indicating that he might have been former military among merfolk. However, no other equipment he carries really supports this rumour, and so Zorad's true identity remains a mystery.

Among his other equipment, Zorad carries multiple vials of unknown liquids. Many of these liquids are potent chemicals, that once ingested or coming in contact with skin, have disturbing effects on the victim, varying from mutation to melting.

At first glance, Zorad appears to be don a belt. This belt, is actually the tail of a serpent, and it is unknown how he found it or why he chooses to wear it. He has been seen glancing at it, strangely enough, with sadness. Once again, no one knows why.

The only real blade Zorad has is a staff with a large serpent fang on the end of it. This leads one to believe he might have slain one prior to acquiring the staff, but that is most likely not the case. He also looks at this with sadness, for whatever reason.

Aside from his belt and staff, Zorad's necklace is his most prized possession, or at least the seashell on the end of it is. It is inscribed with something, something very important to him. No one has ever been able to identify what it says, and most likely never will.



Story:

Although no one can determine who Zorad really is, or what his intentions are, hints provide to who he might be. Some have speculated he was a former merfolk royal, due to his crown of coral and belt. Some say he might be former military, for those who have gotten a closer look at him and his staff.
All will agree though, that this merfolk has clearly lost something important to him. Most likely his mind.


Ten Years Ago...

The serpent swam around in it's pen of coral, eager to play. It made him laugh, to see this little creature so happy. Zorad tossed it some more coral, which the creature began to chase after. Zorad sighed, and gathered his vials. This was the one creature he loved, the one he would not harm. He had never given it a real name, so he simply called it Serpent. It responded to that name anyway, so it didn't matter. Hefting his case up, Zorad gave the creature one last look, a smile. It appeared to smile back, so then he advanced on to the next pen.

Here, awaited a much uglier creature.
This crab-like specimen had huge claws for such a young one. It's pale, almost translucent body almost shined in the dark cavern Zorad called home. It's eyes protruding from it's head, it followed Zorad's every movement with a nervous anticipation, as if thinking that a horrible fate awaited it. It glanced over at Zorad's serpent, and gave him an almost odd look, as if to say, why aren't you doing anything to him?
Zorad glanced at it for a moment, and then began pulling out some vials. His newest chemical would work this time he thought, so he opened the pen. The creature cowered, but extended it's pincers in an attempt to scare Zorad off. There was nothing scary about this creature. Zorad grinned, and lifted the creature out and began his work.

Zorad woke up to the faint of sounds of screeching and destruction. Rushing over, he glanced outside his cavern overlooking the merfolk city. Zorad gasped in despair, for the city was in ruins. Merfolk were swimming through the streets, hollering for help. The guards were amongst them, feebly attempting to control the crowds. What being could have caused so much destruction overnight? Better yet, where was the foul creature? Off at the far side of the city, Zorad's confusion was replaced by bitter horror. There, an almost invisible beast scuttled across the streets, tearing down huts as it went. The beast he created.

Zorad rushed to the back of his cavern, or what was left of it. All of his pens were broken, and boulders were blocking the back entrance. He surveyed the room, desperately searching anything intact. Rushing over to his desk, he realized in terror his Serpent's pen was buried underneath a pile of rocks. Zorad managed to remove the boulders blocking off his serpents pen. Grabbed the remaining intact vials on his desk, he stashed them in his robe and hurried in.
the only thing that remained was it's tail, and one of it's fangs. Zorad grabbed both in despair, and ran back to the front of the cavern. The beast was making it's way out of the city, and to his surprise, the merfolk were advancing towards his cavern. Grabbing his lucky seashell, Zorad shrunk down in fear. What was he going to do?


The judge stood over Zorad with a look of utter hatred on his face.
“Zorad, you have been found guilty of destroying the city. A suitable punishment for you has been established. You have been stripped of your title of the King's Chemist. Your cavern has already been stripped of it's belongings and demolished. You are exiled from this city, never to return. To ensure this, we have brought the High Mage Talik to erase your memories.”

The judge gave Zorad a last look of disgust, and waved over Talik. He glanced down at Zorad, who was clawing at his seashell necklace.
“You pathetic creature.” Talik spat. “What's that, your good luck shell?”
Zorad gave Talik a smile. “Why yes, it is, Talik. You'd be surprised just how lucky it is.”
Talik gave Zorad an odd look, and then grunted. “Any last words, scum?”
Zorad grinned at Talik, and replied. “I'll never forget your name, Talik. We will meet again.”

Spells and Abilities:

Zorad's vials are his only connection to spellcraft. Using these, he has the abilities to kill, mutate, confuse, melt, and make an enemy go completely insane.
Zorad is swift and agile, enabling him to be a formidable opponent in melee combat. However, his serpent tail and staff enable him to have longer range than one with a sword.
His staff's serpent fang is doused with the most potent of chemicals, a memory loss chemical. Zorad can't remember anything, and those who wish to fight him will also suffer the same effect, slowly losing their minds and their sanity until they're left quivering on the ground in fear.



< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 12:21:22 >
Post #: 26
8/8/2014 19:11:42   
jerenda
Member

Approved - glad to see you back for another shot this year. Let’s make it fun! *grins* ~Ryu

Name: Julianna

Age: 27

Race: Half-demon (wind type)

Gender: Female

Height: 5’9”

Weight: Uncertain. She won’t let anyone weigh her.

Element: Wind (minor)

First Post: Entrant successful.

Appearance: She is uncommonly beautiful, with an elegant face, large blue eyes, and flowing light blond hair. She is like an abstract ray of sunlight, lovely to look upon but impossible to touch. She has a slender frame, thin and willowy, and moves with an unmatched grace reminiscent of a wild cat. However, an observant watcher will notice that her body is sleek and muscular, with barely an ounce of unnecessary fat, and that her slight figure borders on emaciated. When attacking, she is completely expressionless unless she is driven to fury, which twists her features into a demonic rage.

Belongings: Julianna has a new sword, a simple rapier, forged last month by a master blacksmith specifically for the EC, and no other weapons. The rapier is not unique in any aspect save for the expert craftsmanship employed to create it. She has destroyed an amazing amount of clothes over the past year, and is currently wearing armor, mostly at the behest of the blacksmith who forged her sword. When he found out she was entering the EC, he insisted she wear something to protect herself.

After repeated arguments with the tanner and the blacksmith, they settled on leather armor that covers her torso and legs to the knee, covered in chain. On her arms and below the knee she wears only leather guards that expose the joints, and she has dark blue cloth underneath to prevent chafing. It is quite possibly one of the nicer outfits she has worn in years. She also acquired a leather band that pulls her hair back from her eyes, but has no gloves or shoes.

Personality: Julianna loves combat, as it’s the only place she truly feels at home, and is incredibly brave. It’s not so much bravery, though, as a lack of fear. She is very practical and tends to look at people as tools to be used rather than people to be understood. She doesn’t really understand other people, but years of living on intuition alone means that she can detect untruths quite easily. Honestly, she doesn’t really understand herself. She has a fledgling sense of good and evil, but tends to follow what she remembers of a complex Code rather than her own ideas of right and wrong.

Strengths: Simply put, she is a fantastic swordswoman. She is very fast, very flexible, and very acrobatic, using everything around her to further her advantage. She has spent the majority of her adult life living purely off her expertise with her sword, and as such has honed it to the limits of human possibility. In addition to her formidable expertise with a rapier, she has incredible physical endurance. She can go without sleep for about three days with very few side effects, can survive with no food for a week, and can run for days on end without tiring. This is because during her ‘lost’ years, she severely mistreated her body, building up a powerful resistance to most kinds of physical maltreatment.

Magic: Although once (for approximately six hours) she was host to a great wealth of magic, now she has an extremely minor amount of wind magic, inherited from her wind demon mother. She typically uses it to give her an extra burst of speed in critical moments, moving fast enough to blur the eye. She uses her magic for other small boosts. One of her strongest abilities is to send it along the length of her blade, striking targets from a distance, although she hates creating large magical affects like this as it reminds her of her demonic heritage.

Weaknesses: Although her new rapier is expertly crafted, it is slightly different from her old one, and therefore handles somewhat differently. She cannot block with this weapon, and she has spent the past month attempting to reteach herself not to block. Her fighting style does consist of primarily dodging, but she was accustomed to deflecting swings as necessary. We’ll see how well that goes.

Due to her demonic heritage, Julianna is particularly vulnerable to darkness magic, taking exceptional amounts of damage from darkness-based attacks. In addition, she’s not very good at handling magical attacks, generally opting to simply dodge them. She generally tries to avoid magic-users, or decapitate them quickly.

Past: A summary. She comes from an unknown land far away, unknown primarily because she refuses to speak of it. When she was still a child, she suffered a personal tragedy that had the ultimate result of causing her to go insane. She fled her lands and wandered Lore for an estimated seventeen years carrying a silvery-blue rapier with a jewel set into its pommel. Her ability to reason gone, she often spoke to the sword and seemed to hear replies. She took very little care for herself, only doing what was needed to survive, and lived (and fought) like a wild animal. It is from these years that she gained most of her training with the sword, and when she fights now she must work hard to maintain her sanity.

Two years ago she stumbled into a fateful inn, where she met someone who took her insanity from her and left her, confused and hungry, amid the destruction. She hunted this person down and killed him, and for the past year has been seen wandering with a paladin, Anaen, who follows a strange and mysterious Code of an order separate from Artix’s. She seemed much saner, but when she arrived in Bren two days ago she looked anything but.

She signed up for the Elemental Championships with a determined gleam in her eye (or perhaps a suicidal one?) and has been roaming around the outskirts of the town until the Championships start, avoiding all contact with people. Her longtime partner Anaen is nowhere to be found.

Note: Edited with permission from Ryu. Expanded Magic section to allow for flexibility.

< Message edited by jerenda -- 8/18/2014 10:58:48 >
AQ DF  Post #: 27
8/8/2014 22:13:03   
Ryu Viranesh
Member

Just a brief announcement about the current state of affairs. Firstly, all bios will be checked by early tomorrow. Secondly, and just as importantly, the start the Elemental Championships will be delayed 4 days until Wednesday August 13th, in order to allow for bios which are rejected to have ample time to be corrected and for any last minute stragglers to finish up their submissions.

*scampers off to finish checking bios*
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 28
8/8/2014 22:45:00   
ringulreith
Member

Approved, with a couple notes. Firstly, I'm going to assume her skill with the dagger is more utility-based than combat-based, considering she's already competent with two other distinctly different weapon groups. Secondly, 'completely read' is a tad unlikely even after that period of time (especially considering that that would be more on you as the player), but having a very low degree of error? Certainly possible. ~Ryu

Cutting it a bit close, but here's my entrant for this year! I give you Lee!



Name: Ranlae Evensong
Element: Water
First Post:

Appearance:
Ranlae is a female human of middling age and sliiightly less-than-middling height, and don't you go commenting on it or she will forcibly fix your virtical perspective! Blond hair that only ever feels the quick chop of a dagger -- when it grows too long to be practical -- tumbles over her head in a permanantly windswept mess. Though her features are rough and weatherworn, the smiles that often grace her face and crinkle her brown eyes lend some lightness to her visage. A lot of lean muscle is packed onto her slim frame and a lot of bodily awareness is channeled into her movement, leaving no doubt that she is in fact a woman of the warriorly inclination. Despite her minimal packaging, she comes with a large personality that fills a room with boisterous laughter, debauched singing, and lots and lots of bar brawls.

Armaments:

  • Two cutlasses of little note and good quality, but nonetheless very dangerous in Ranlae's expert hands.
  • A plain dagger, for combat and utility purposes.
  • Two muzzle-loading flintlock pistols; think mid-17th-century style.
  • Auxiliary combat miscellanea like amunition, gunpowder, wetstone, etc.
  • A leather vest, fitted with slim steel ribbing for some added protection.
  • A whit as sharp as her blades.


Assorted Arcana and Eclectic Esoterica:
Ranlae can amplify and accelerate the effects of water in her environment. This works by increasing the potency, or decreasing the magnitude of requirements like time or temperature. She can't manipulate water to do things that it isn't already doing; but she can, for example, accelerate the formation of fog, cause steam at lower temperatures, influence the formation of storms, and other water and humidity related phenomena. The effectiveness of this ability depends on local water levels, the number of effects being manipulated at once, concentration, and combat adrenalin. Given an hour of uninterupted concentration in the middle of a naval battle, Ranlae is known to have coaxed the formation of vicious sea storms.

Just as water changes shape to fill its container, Ranlae has a preturnatural ability to adapt her combat style to conform to her opponents and the battlefield that contains it. The longer a fight goes on, the more her movements and style will change to match those of her adversary and the confines of her environment. After about an hour of uninterupted combat, Ranlae will basically attain absolute situational superiority and be able to completely accurately read her opponent.


I didn't include any backstory, hope that's okay. Wanted to reveal it through posts.

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 12:32:16 >
Post #: 29
8/9/2014 1:06:44   
The Extinguisher
Member

Before I approve this, I'd like some clarification on a couple of details. Firstly, and this isn't so much a clarification, but the summoning ability is going to have to go, considering how problematic and unbalanced summons have proven to be in the past. Secondly, if possible, could you give a better idea as to the range of power which Lear can exercise through his spellcasting ability, as the level of power necessary to call forth a full-sized rainstorm ... rather worries me. ~Ryu

<I almost missed this. I would never forgive myself if I did>

Name: Lear
Race: Nereid
Gender: Male
Age: 105
Element: Water
First post: TBD

The ocean is full of many things, and anywhere there is life, you will find the Fae. Sprites, nymphs, and fairies always have a habit of showing up where there are things to trick and deceive. And the deep waters of the ocean are no exception.

Lear hates the ocean. Or, more specifically, he hates the things in the ocean. A Nereid's life is long, and for Lear, the thought of spending that long life in the deep, dark waters was enough to drive him insane. He wanted to explore, to fight, and just escape from his sisters telling him about how wrong he was for wanting that. So he left. Abandoning the ocean, he began to explore the world above.

If you thought that his body was made of water, you could be forgiven. You'd be wrong, of course, but it's an easy mistake to make. A Nereid's body looks like living ocean, and it kind of behaves like one. Things move back and forth, and a naked Nereid is a sight enough to fascinate any wayward traveler. Lear, however, prefers a fine suit of armor. He likes getting up close and personal with the things that he fights, and exposed watery flesh is not usually the best thing for that. His sword is quick and strong, and he shows his strength when he uses it.

But his real power comes from his magic. As part of his exploration and training, he learned how to channel magic through his sword, to deliver powerful short range spells with his blade. Bursts with the power of water and the cold wetness of being lost at sea. He also has a few more traditional spells he can use, mostly creating waves and rainstorms, and can summon small water elementals to fight with him.

Ultimately, Lear wants to experience all that he can above the surface. The thought of something new excites him, and anything new that allows him to show of his martial expertise is something to try at any cost.

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 13:04:44 >
Post #: 30
8/9/2014 3:08:40   
Bastet
Member

I really were in doubt on whether I should join or not, considering my limited RP experience.
That delay really saved me, else I would've had to write my bio on a barely working smartphone.
I'll be joining tomorrow, nothing ventured nothing gained.
Post #: 31
8/9/2014 4:06:15   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 This submission will not be approved due to a couple of issues found within it. Firstly, though your propulsion ability has been somewhat refluffed, when you cut down to the core of the issue, it's still essentially a power which allows your character to fly. Flight is a very tricky beast within the EC, as certain characters are defined by it, while others simply gain a rather massive benefit for almost no cost. This lies down the latter path, and thus requires a strong argument or an element of trust, given the limited ceilings in all but Sky (by protective magics or by literal rock a'la Cellar). In this instance, Flight is more problematic than beneficial to fluff or your character's already strong suite of abilities, so it needs to go." Secondly, I ... somehow doubt the ability of a 4 year old to carry a broadsword, just given the way that you've currently described his physique at age 27. Just patch these two areas up and you should be good. ~Ryu

Name: Aeron Dragenoth
Race: Agnifron
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Element: Fire
First Post: -

Appearance: Aeron, like most Agnifron men is naturally handsome, although, unlike the others he stands at an average height of 5’11”. His good looks and slightly tanned complexion are accompanied by a messy tangle of black hair on his head that fall all the way down to his collar. One doesn’t need a curious observer to note that within this messy tangle of hair, there passes an orange streak of hair all the way to the back, slightly to the left of his hair, a sight common to all Agnifron. He has plain brown eyes and a cleanly-shaven beard.

A slightly-muscular body is what he has with lean but clearly visible muscles on his arms and shoulder. His powerful legs have lesser development as compared to the rest of the body. That’s how he likes it. It helps him keep an even balance.

Belongings: Aeron carries a number of items on his person at all times. Here’s a complete list:

  • Havensage: Havensage is Aeron’s Broadsword and the only weapon in his repertoire that he’s carried with him since he was 4 years old. Every Agnifron Warrior has a Bornbound Weapon that has stayed with him from a very young age, it’s almost as if that particular weapon is bound to the wielder. Havensage is Aeron’s Bornbound Weapon. The sword has a dark grey blade the whole length of which is marked with intricate markings that stay black when not being wielded upon when they flare a bright orange. The hilt and crossguard are actually quite plain and bound by dirty bandages.
  • The Revenant: This is Aeron’s Buckler that he carries in the form of a Star-shaped crystal worn on a black string that Aeron always keeps tightly wound around his left wrist. The crystal responds only to Aeron’s Agnifron energy and changes to its Buckler form. Made of the same grey metal as Havensage, The Revenant has beautiful orange runes on it.
  • Clothing: Aeron naturally carries his clothing with him. He wears a brown travelling cloak complete with hood. Inside it, he wears a tight brown vest laced with strands of the same grey metal on top of a grey silk shirt. For lower apparel, he wears loose baggy pants on top of tight grey leather pants and high travelling boots. On his left hand, he wears a grey, fingerless glove that extends up to his elbow. He wears nothing on his right hand.
  • Safety Kit: A small satchel worn on his body carries bandages, a few vials of disinfectants and a small bottle of ice cold water.

Magic & Abilities: Agnifrons have a natural affinity for fire-based magic and can perform magic requiring immense amount of knowledge and mastery of the element. Aeron, however claims to have trained from a blind Agnifron Sage that he chanced upon during one of his many journeys. How true this story of his is remains to be seen.

Aeron shows mastery over generation and degeneration of fire. He cannot manipulate existing flames, neither can he influence them but their presence empowers his magical channel and makes him stronger.

The Agnifron can create fire merely by causing the molecules around him to vibrate with rapidly increasing intensity pushing it to its ignition temperature. During this process, people around him would experience slight breathlessness as generation of fire from scratch naturally draws oxygen from the surroundings. Again, Aeron is not manipulating the air. The greater the flames generated, more the oxygen drawn. Aeron can use this skill to a great extent by creating whole curtains of fire that can last about 8 seconds or less depending upon the intensity of the flames.

Aeron passively absorbs body heat and heat from his surroundings, although that is in very low quantity. An hour of standing next to Aeron might cause of person to shiver.

Flame solidification is another one of Aeron’s skills wherein he can generate flames and solidify them to coat Havensage or any of his body parts. Coming in contact with those flames will immediately trigger a fire or a burn in case it’s the skin that comes in contact. Cloth will catch fire. These flame coats can be broken upon high impact from a heavy weapon, etc.

Propulsion is a skill that causes an immediate generation and burst of flames under Aeron’s feet causing him to launch skywards. The maximum reachable vertical distance is 50 metres after which Aeron starts to descend. Vertical Propulsion, however, is just one effect of this. Aeron can also propel himself horizontally by merely causing a burst of flames in the direction opposite to his direction of propulsion. This however is a tough skill to handle as inertia can hit the caster anytime causing him to stumble or roll over. This skill takes a considerable toll on Aeron’s mana pool.
Aeron can use flame bursts to speed up his moves as well, for example, he can kick faster or punch faster by using the principle of propulsion.

Will of the Agnifron is a skill that can not be learnt. Every Agnifron is naturally born with this ability. This skill allows Aeron to tap into the entirety of his mana pool thus exponentially increasing his magical ability to the point where he can perform upto 5 consecutive propulsions in a short amount of time. This skill however, has a catch. Even as it maximizes Aeron’s magical ability, it gradually weakens him physically to the point where he might have to kneel down on the ground for a couple of minutes to allow himself to regenerate fully.

Aeron is a versatile fighter. He’s an expert when it comes to sword and shield, more so with the sword than with the shield. He’s an average hand-to-hand fighter requiring the use of his fire to come at par with better close combatants.

Personality: Aeron is generally a very jovial and well-natured person who likes to make friends. Being almost comical at times, this Agnifron has been known to anger a lot of people at times. When he’s serious however, he means business because as he says, “When you are being good, be the best and when you are being bad, be the worst.” This sudden change in his attitude has caused many of his family to think that he’s possessed by an evil spirit or some such. He is almost never angry but rumor has it that his anger was locked away somewhere inside him by the blind sage who taught him and that it lies dormant waiting to be released.

History: Hailing from the kingdom of Haenis located on the edge of a volcanic mountain, Aeron was always a very curious child, eager to know what lay ahead. With this curiosity of his, he had developed a habit of wandering off into the wilderness all on his own. This habit of his was so troubling that his parents used to lock him in his room so he wouldn’t escape.

However, a week before their Coming of Age trials, Aeron took Havensage and disappeared. A great search was organised but nobody could find him until one day 20 years later, he returned, then a young man and since he had missed his Coming of Age trials, he decided to compensate for it by participating in something greater than it or of equal honor.

And so, taking everything that he could carry, he left for The Elemental Championships where he may prove his worth and finally return redeemed.

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 13:54:19 >
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 32
8/9/2014 6:23:34   
EmbraceTheDarkness
Member

Approved - no problems here. Everything looks good.

I had a feeling that I should have put in some abilities. Tried to make them significant for combat but not crazy enough to be out of context with his training in magic. Also added a spot to put the link to my first post, if that's alright?

Name – Gavin Votheris

Race – Human

Gender – Male

Age – Mid twenties

Element - Light

First Post -

Appearance – Gavin is a 6'ft tall Caucasian male. He wears a pure white chest plate with a golden trim. He dons a white pauldron on each shoulder, both also embroidered with gold trim. Underneath his Armour he wears a blue Brigandine style cloth piece, along with a loose blue dress shirt which he keeps the collar popped out from under his chest plate. He wears a set of white vambraces on each arm, accompanied with the golden trim. On each foot he wears a white boot with golden trim along with each knee having its own white along with the gold trim, knee guard. Gavin also wears a white cloak to signify his loyalty to the paladin order. As for looks, Gavin Votheris has black side-swept hair and green eyes and is clean shaven. He is medium build with a bit of extra muscle.


Equipment – Gavin packs with him at all times his bastard sword. An old sword his father gifted him on his fifteenth name day, the same day he left for the Paladin order. Gavin doesn't feel the need to pack an arsenal around with him so his sword is the only weapon he keeps on his body.

Personality – Gavin Votheris is a caring person who hates to see the weak be harmed, this being one of the reasons why he joined the Paladin order. Gavin comes off as being serious until he warms up to you. While being seemingly closed-off and distant to others, Gavin would die for someone else if it meant them escaping injury.
Gavin grew up on a farm in the northern regions or Lore and knows the meaning of harshness. He will stop at nothing to get something done and is passionate for anything that interests him. He is a decent swordsman but often finds himself being judged for his cockiness.

Abilities – Gavin Votheris trained under the paladin order for many years but never really took to magic though he learned a few basic skills in the art.

“Blinding Light” – With the snap of a finger Gavin can cause a quick flash to blind and slightly disorient his opponent.

“Purification” – Gavin is able to make a small glowing aura around him, burning any creature of darkness that gets to close.

“Shield of Baldr” – The name can often be deceiving for the spell does not give Gavin a shield, but protection all the same. The spell places a protective ward over his Armour making it stronger and more durable.

Asides from spells Gavin considers himself a decent swordsman’s but can find himself in a tough situation for thinking he can’t lose a fight.


History – Gavin was raised on a farm until the age of fifteen before he set off to join the Paladin order with his father’s sword. His parents had always wanted a better life for their son so they sent him to what they thought was the next best place aside from squiring for a knight.

Gavin grew up alongside the other Paladins, all varying in age. He was taught a minuscule amount of light magic at such a low rank and was more so trained in the art of swordplay. Gavin along with two other new recruits trained as Paladin’s recruits for many years before they received new titles.

The three Paladins’ became close friends over the years and Gavin began to develop feelings for his female counterpart. As their best friend left to train in light magic, Gavin and Isabella stayed at the keep to help in any way they could. Gavin and Isabella became the couple of the Paladin order over a few months and were never found apart from one another.

Gavin took Isabella out to their favorite spot one summer morning, under the shade of an old oak tree that rested not far from the keep. The two sat, leaned up against the warmth of the hard wood, fingers inter-locked, and looked off at the open fields…they never even noticed that bandits that had managed to sneak up on them.
The first arrow took Gavin in the right shoulder and left it lame; the second arrow took him in the back of his leg as he tried to stand. Isabella had already gotten to her feet by then, but the cut the bandit gave her left Isabella lying on the ground beside Gavin.

Gavin was infuriated, everything he stood for did nothing to help him save Isabella as she lay there slowly slipping away. Despite the pain Gavin rushed over to her and picked her up in his arms.
“Don’t die on me” and “You’re going to make”, phrases like these passed his lips as he held her in his arms, Isabella died within the hour.

Gavin left the order within a fortnight, each day brought up old memories. He had heard of the elemental championships and the things the winner received, things that could bring back his Isabella. He found himself in Bren within the year, hoping on hope to win the championships, and be with his Isabella once again.

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 13:57:17 >
AQW  Post #: 33
8/9/2014 6:38:54   
nield
Creative!


 Approved. You've corrected everything that I brought up previously and as such I see no reason to hold this submission back any further. Welcome to the EC.

Name: Ineria Aluriest
Race: Illistrian
Gender: Hermaphrodite, not that she would ever let you know. She considers herself female, and would never suffer to be referred to by the xe/xyr/xem pronouns by those who do know her true gender.
Age: 20
Element: Ice

Appearance: With full-flowing violet hair that has never seen a blade in her life, hanging just short of the ground and pale blue skin, Ineria exudes an otherworldly quality in her appearance. Her towering form but serves to reinforce this; Ineria stands at 7 feet and 5 inches, yet is still considered short for one of her kind, who stand on average at 7 feet and 10 inches. Despite height that could consider them giantkin, Illistrians tend toward slender frames, and Ineria is no exception. slender, but in that slenderness, a muscularity and dexterousness which belie years of hard training to make herself stronger and more agile. As befits her slender frame, Ineria's chest does not extrude far. Indeed, utilisation of cloth wound around her chest to compact what little there is does not discomfort her. Her facial features are fair, and soft, gentleness and worry come easily to them, though steely determination is a look that is not alien to those same features. Her nose, soft and rounded, petite rounded ears that almost lay flat against her head, lips, soft yet full, eyes, a soft blue, yet a glint of icy determination within their depths and hair, fair as any maiden's: These combine to give her a serene beauty.

Equipment: Ineria has four items of note, two mundane, two rather less so. Firstly and most mundane is her main weapon, a longsword that stays sheathed at her side. It is a simple blade, made from steel as most longswords are, and with do defining features. It is plain as can be, though it is made proportionate to Ineria's size, the blade reaching for four feet, and the grip with enough room that Ineria could wield it with two hands if needed. The second mundane portion of her equipment is her armour: An affair that combines chainmail with plates that lay somewhere between heavy and light plate in weight nd durability: On bottommost layer, she wears simple cloth garments to protect her skin from pinching from the chain-links, which cover most of her body. The plates then cover areas that require it: Thighs, shins, upper arms, forearms, chest: Joints are left unprotected by the plate to allow for mobility, but are not completely left to the chainmail, either: simple leather protection lays above these less defenced areas. The ensemble also includes gauntlents made from light-plate, which allow for full maneuverability of the wrist, and light-plate boots which allow maneuverability of the ankles. There is also a decorative heavy-plate helm, but it is used mainly for ceremonial purposes: Or for during war, as such, Ineria will not be wearing hers during the Elemental Championship.

the non-mundane are an Illistrian artifact and an item: Illustrious Illistria, a spear, and the Illistrious Aegis, a shield. The Illistrious Aegis is a light shield, relatively speaking regarding the metal it is made from (Despite that fact that this 'light shield' is 3x heavier than a heavy shield made of steel would be, a heavy shield made of this material would be unliftable by any) made from a metal known only to Illistrians, by nature that it is only found within the nation of Illistria. For intents of defence, it is far hardier and more durable than steel and no less than 3 times heavier than a heavy shield would be if made from steel. The metal also has a base magical attunement to ice. Illistrians have, rather unoriginally, named the metal Illistrium. The metal also helps to bring out some of an Illistrian's natural, latent ice powers. Illustrious Illistria is a national heritage, an heirloom of the royal family, the symbol of office without which, none may lay claim to the throne of Illistria and a weapon that, by right, Ineria should not have. It is made wholly from Illistrium, but between the thinness of it, an enchantments placed upon it, it is virtually weightless. It sits in length at the same height as Ineria: 7 feet and 5 inches, and if Ineria were to hold it at arm's length, butt of teh shaft placed firmly on the ground, the spear pointing straight up, then her hand rests right underneath where the spear has a non-bladed cross-hilt. Most curiously, the spear continues as a simple shaft for a length that is the exact size of Ineria's neck: She's measured.

Atop this final shaft section is a stylised fleur-de-lis, that is the national symbol of Illistria, and the edge of which is bladed, with such sharpness that it could theoretically be used with surgical precision for cutting. Spiralling around the main shaft are Illistrian runes, magical enchantments laid upon the weapon, to increase its durability, render it weightless, and allow it, when thrown after a certain set of words are spoken, fly with unparallelled accuracy, so as missing to be impossible. These words are known only to Illistrian royalty, and Ineria, not being of royal blood, does not know these words and as such is unable to trigger this ability. The runes also greatly enhances the basic ice attunement of the metal, inflicted wounds would suffer frostbite immediately: any prolonged contact will cause frost to spread out. Due to the weapon's value, Ineria takes it into battle not to be used: indeed, the only occasion she would use it in were if she had NO other options: Ineria would use cowardly retreat before using the Illustrious Illistria, despite that going against her code of honour, as she is the artifact's protector now. She will use it only with no other option, and only against an opponent who means her death, or theft of the spear. She brings it into battle for only one reason: There is no-one else she can trust to hold onto it for her. It remains strapped diagonally to her back.

Combat ability/skills/whatnot: Ineria is a warrior, and she acts like it. For her, offense is what she can do with her sword and shield, as she utilises her Illistrious Aegis for offensive shield bashes as much as blocking, a practise that has left her shield-arm physically stronger than her sword-arm. She can use some very basic ice-type spells, such as frosting over any particularly severe wounds until such a time as she could get proper healing. She could summon at most 3 ice projectiles to fling at a foe at any given time. Having never trained in magic arts, she has very little mana. If she were to have not utilised any mana, she could generate a shield of ice that would be capable of blocking at most one attack, and beyond that, she would be completely drained of mana.

Of Illistria and Illistrians: Illistria is a remote nation, existing in the coldest part of the world, the nation is made of and from ice and sits isolated because of it: Few races have the natural capacity to resist the colds of Illistria, and few have the wherewithal to brave its frosty climes. Isolated and alone, Illistria is marked on few maps, and known to fewer people. However, this land bred a natural people: The Illistrians. Bred from this inhospitable land, not only do Illitrians not feel the cold, they are invigorated by it: Their reaction times are slightly faster, strength and agility increased by small amounts, Illistrians succumb only to the unnatural levels of cold brought about by magic. Curiously, Illistrians feel no particular discomfort in warmer climes, feeling it the same as any human would. Illistrians are a proud race, ruled by honour. deceit and cowardliness are almost foreign concepts. Almost. When a coup attempt went awry, the then-prince of Illistria bade Ineria, as she was an old friend of his, take the Illustrious Illistria, journey out into the world, and never look back. "And never come back, Fate be damned"

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 13:59:20 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 34
8/9/2014 22:20:56   
salene
Member

What do we do if our submissions haven't been graded yet?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 35
8/9/2014 23:59:30   
Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!


 You just wait until it is. You will see an edited message in your post that says you've passed or what you need to fix.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 36
8/10/2014 1:06:17   
Arthur
How We Roll Winner
Dec14


 @Eukara Vox, Will you be participating this time...?
DF MQ AQW  Post #: 37
8/10/2014 2:32:30   
unknown2215
Member

This submission is not approved. The key issue in this bio has to do with the vague and potentially unbalanced nature of Flash Step, considering that it's nearly akin to an auto-hit as it is right now (blinding flash of light plus incredible speed). This is going to need to be toned down or elaborated on in such a way as to assuage the worries that I have in respect to this move. In addition, the teleport ability appears to, as you've written it right now, be a straight rip right out of Naruto. Now, there's nothing wrong with taking inspiration from other media, but I have ... problems with ideas seeming to be a clear lift, so you might want to reconsider Lightning Beacon as it is right now. A secondary issue has to do with the description of the rapier, since grouping all non-magical metals together is a tad much, considering that there are some very strong natural metals out there. Just ask the dwarves. :P ~Ryu

Name - Krios Alexander

Race - Human

Gender - Male

Age - Early twenties

Element - Energy

First Post -

Appearance - Krios stands at 6 feet tall, his blond hair is kept in a short buzz cut, his face clean shaven and his eyes are a startling blue. His skin is tanned to a light bronze tone and he has a lithe and athletic build.

His armor is an odd sight, unique in design. It sports a breastplate inspired by the Greek hoplites, plain in design save for a few runic sigils engraved in it and bereft of pauldrons, it shields his torso and provides maximum agility from one wearing plate armor. Over the breastplate Krios wears a black leather coat reaching to his knees, metal plates are sewn into the arms of the coat to shield the bicep and forearm, leaving his joints free and unhindered so as to retain full flexibility. These sewn plates, similarly to his breastplate, have runic sigils engraved onto them. Finally he wears gloves and boots made of tough black dragon scales.

Equipment -

Breastplate - Made of mundane steel but empowered with runic sigils that increase it's defenses and slightly reduces its weight.

Leather Coat - Made of the hide of a dragon, it holds an innate resistance to ice magic and has steel plates of the same enchantment as his breastplate sewn onto the bicep and forearm area.

Dragon Scale Gloves and Boots - These gloves and boots hold an innate resistance to darkness magic and are tougher than iron but weaker than steel.

Rapier - An elegantly designed rapier with a shield-like hand guard. Runes adorn the blade and drastically increase its sharpness and durability beyond anything that mundane steel can acquire, it can pierce through non-magical metal with the same ease that a person slices bread.

Parrying Dagger - A simple parrying dagger meant to be used in conjunction with his rapier, its handle is adorned in runes. Krios owns six of these.

Abilities -

Krios has above average speed and agility and is very skilled in magic and fencing.

Lightning Beacon - The true purpose of Krios' parrying daggers, they serve as beacons for his self-made 'teleport' spell. By converting himself into magical lightning, Krios can lock-on to one of these beacons and travel to it instantly. While it is not a true teleport, as Krios simply travels from place to place instead of true spatial displacement, it is considered one due to the sheer speed of travel, matching the speed of lightning. Due to the force of the lightning striking the parrying dagger, each beacon can only be used to a maximum of three times and can be broken by third party influences before that limit is reached.

Thunder Palm - Krios can slam an open palm into an enemy and release an electrical discharge that simultaneously shocks the target and pushes him away. It is named for the sound it causes, which mimics true thunder.

Flash Step - Releasing an electrical discharge through his body and weapon, a blinding flash of light and electricity is emitted and Krios' speed and strength is tripled for an instant(roughly 3 seconds).

Background - Born into a noble family, Krios was tutored in the arts of magic and fencing at a young age, being expected to uphold his family's illustrious history of skilled and famous fighters. Feeling that his life was too stifling and restrictive, Krios ran away from home at the age of 14, exploring and adventuring to his heart's content. He worked as a sellsword in a couple of wars as he passed through the regions, gaining experience and making acquaintances here and there. When he was 19, he apprenticed under a more experienced Wizard and learned to adapt his spells for use in melee combat before getting bored and setting off to explore again. In his time with the Wizard, Krios learned that he had an aptitude for the Energy element, wild and uncontrollable in nature, tamed through knowledge and skill. Then he heard of the Elemental Championships and decided that it would be a good place to test his mettle against other champions of the elements. Thus, Krios found himself in Bren several months later, renting a room at the local inn for the few weeks it took for the Elemental Championships to begin.

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 14:24:58 >
AQ  Post #: 38
8/10/2014 8:55:26   
salene
Member

Okay, thanks Eukky. Patience has never been my strong suit!

So now we wait...
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 39
8/11/2014 14:45:51   
Starstruck
Member

Approved, with one caveat. Either PM me the information as to what your concealed weapon is or place it in spoiler tags in this post, since even if you don't want to reveal it to the crowd at large, I should probably know what it is before things get started. ~Ryu

PATCH 1.1:
-Clarified crumpet use.
-Hinted at concealed weapon (forgot to do that last entry)
-Restricted shadowportation
-Clarified source of darkness and added regulatory mechanic
----I added a bit of shadowballs to her because she didn't seem darkness enough. Now she is good.

Name: Kai Kuragari
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Element: Darkness

Appearance: Kai is around 5'3", but it's hard to get a good handle on her height or weight exactly because she's constantly in motion. Whether it's cleaning, dancing, assisting, or just going for a walk, Kai never seems to stand still. Her hair has been trimmed and styled since last year; it no longer reaches to the floor, but instead is an attractively smooth tumble of midnight black hair that sweeps artfully down her back past her shoulders. For this year's EC, it has been tightly braided so as not to get in the way of her fighting. Kai plans to engage in combat this year. Her dress is also nowhere near as frilly and exciting; instead, it is a simple dress, ending below the knees, pink (a color chosen in a moment of total vanity), with a ribbon tied around in a butterfly knot in the back. It is sleeveless, but not backless. Kai would of course be lost without her purse, empty save for its velvety black inner lining and what seems to be an excessive supply of crumpets. They are delicious, but dangerous. Like Kai! And finally, wrapped around her neck is an enormous, fluffy pink scarf. Kai just wouldn't be Kai without it.

Equipment: Kai of course uses her crumpets as weapons. Normally you wouldn't be afraid of a confectionary, but these are special sweets! They've been baked with a special, underhanded trick that combines corn starch and water in a sustained fluffy crust that remains light and airy to the teeth...but don't bite down TOO hard, because the structural integrity will shatter your molars. Whether it's blunt force trauma direct from the fist or a projectile launched with unnerving accuracy and force from a tender female hand, Kai's crumpets make excellent...and dangerous...weapons. Her scarf and her ribbon probably make good whips in a pinch.

Oh, and, by the way, watch out for her scarf. It may look like it flows gently in the breeze, but I think there's something inside it.

History: Kai moved to the small town of Bren from somewhere in northern Lore. Her arrival was without great ceremony, yet was still immensely interesting to the inhabitants, who never saw unusual things until the Championships rolled around; yet here was this exotic woman, fiery and beautiful, come to live and work in their town. It took a while for Bren to get used to Kai, but Kai got used to Bren in a heartbeat; her life was seamlessly integrated into the pulse of the town, and she gladly entertained customers at her store-cum-restaurant for several months. When she announced that she'd be entering the Elemental Championships, for Darkness no less, it shocked the town; her loss was inevitable, shook the heads of the old-timers on their rocking chairs, for Kai was just a woman - no more, no less.

Skills and Abilities: Kai is a trained martial artist and a skilled spy. She is sneaky and underhanded in all of her doings, which has helped her everywhere she has gone, even the sleepy town of post-Championships Bren. She is silent as a shadow, invisible as a whisper, a breath of air upon the wind...when she wants to be. Most of the time she is boisterous and energetic, charging into battle and enjoying the fun of combat rather than trying to do any serious damage.

Kai also has illusion abilities, which allow her to project things that simply aren't there into the minds of others. She is not particularly powerful with this, but she can easily fool those who are not looking too closely into seeing what they expect to see rather than what they actually see. However, when exerting herself to her full potential, she can influence the balance and perception of others in ways that could unbalance or discomfit them. One of her most powerful tricks is to induce a hallucination that would turn the world upside down from the point of view of the victim, though this is taxing and is not used willy-nilly. Kai has command of a host of smaller tricks and illusions, ranging from the mundane (changing the design on a tablecloth, turning someone into someone visually similar) to the powerful (turning invisible for a second or two, conjuring a frightening monster, darkness). Kai's illusions require emotional focus and strict attention, which is already difficult enough from her effervescent personality. Startling or distracting her is enough to cause them to dissipate.

In addition, she has the ability to move around her shadow. Kai has limited awareness of the goings-on around her shadow, and can use it to scout. She can also "peel" her shadow off the ground to deliver a strike or grasp a target that gets too close, but this is taxing. However, this ability is useful because Kai can at any time relocate to her shadow, emerging from it as though the substance beneath it were water. This ability is extremely taxing with rapid use, though with proper pacing it is not much of a big deal. Effort expended also increases with distance or stress.

Kai's training unlocked her chi energy pool for standard usage. It is very closely tied to her stamina and functions around the same way: easily depleted and easily replenished, though limited in scope. Think of it as being physically vs. mentally tired/drained. She can imbue her attacks with darkness or channel it directly for a pure elemental attack, but these are not particularly strong. This is mostly used to extend range, grant utility, or add power. Her shadowportation/illusions draw from this chi. Resting her body will replenish her chi at a faster rate, but this is not often possible, especially in extended fights.

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 14:32:39 >
DF MQ  Post #: 40
8/11/2014 21:21:49   
salene
Member

The Ice battles are going to be insane! Right now, there is only one other wind element character, so that should be fun! I look forward to battling you Jerenda! :)
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 41
8/12/2014 0:00:23   
jerenda
Member

*throws gauntlet down* It shall be a most magnificent and noble battle.
AQ DF  Post #: 42
8/12/2014 0:38:55   
salene
Member

Yeah, I hope it will be! (Although honestly combat isn't my forte, so I'll probably be a pretty easy opponent to beat :D
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 43
8/12/2014 2:35:49   
Drakath_SlugWrath
Member

This submission has been rejected both because it is far too powerful to compete in the EC and because this post's grammar makes it very difficult to comprehend what exactly it is that you're trying to convey. Secondly, you must pick one of the eight traditional elements to represent, so Void is not acceptable in this case. I'd recommend submitting a different character if you wish to try again. ~Ryu

name:grixs
gender:male
race:void creature/human
age:???
element:???(void)
appearance: he 6'6 feet tall he wears a mask that has looks like a void eye he wears armor closely looking like vaals armor sep purple and black and parts of it have became void flesh and has void eyes on it he wears a black cloak that he uses as a shield its made out of a void creatures skin
Equipment:he uses 1 spirit loom ans in the other hand uses a scythe that looks like a soul smith weapon sep fused with void magic and spirit threads of void monsters his spirit loom looks like its fashioned out of void monsters carcass and and the spirit blade that comes out of it is a scythe looking sorta like witch blade
Abilities:can open portals to the void aka he can void jump to plase to plase and he can some times if annoyed anuf summon void elementals and can soul sink with his soul ally that is a dragon (imagine dragon drakath sorta as his soul ally)
Personality:a very cold and quiet person he likes moglin berry juice and walks in the void and tends to cause trouble with out trying and laffs when chaos happens and he seems to hate soul weavers with a passion and vaal sens the reason grixs is like the way he is is vaals fault
History:grixs was vaals best friend they were both origanally soul smiths but both hated the life and joined the chaos weavers looking for ar they both rose through the ranks and grixs helped vaal make the fisrt chaos weaver infused soul smth weapon the wheel then vaal used it to make himself immortal but it backfired on every other chaos weaver eaven grixs who was able to use the wheel to seal away pellow village and vall in the void but the wheel saved him from the spider curse and fused a void creature into his body making him immortal and slitlly insane he then wandered athe void and at one ponit met vaal agin and they faught and thats why vaal has that scar on hs eye they split ways after he battle and over thousands of years grixs feals the seal breaking and he returns walking through nowing that vaals power was gone with it so was grixs but grixs stayed part void creature making him still able to live longer than normal folk he then set out to study the world and heard about this event and thote it would be fun to partake in the event
soul ally:his name is strax the corrupted elemental spirit of chaos he is the size of drakath dragon and in tell i draw him lets say he looks like dragon drakath
pet:he has a pet that is a bradyenball named ball that he picked up in the void its a rather small one that fits in his hand but it packs a punch

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 14:32:26 >
DF AQW  Post #: 44
8/12/2014 6:54:12   
Bastet
Member

This submission is not approved because the character and her abilities, as currently described, cross over the line of what is acceptable power-wise within the Elemental Championships. What I would recommend is that if you're going to go for such a high level of manipulation, you make it clear that she's very vulnerable to damage (I don't buy extremely powerful offense and defense co-existing with this type of character). Furthermore ... and correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm also getting Naruto vibes from this character as well, given the sheer amount of Gaara parallels I'm seeing in this submission. If it's just coincidence, then excuse me for mentioning it, but if you did take influence from him, you might want to consider how best to distance this character somewhat further from him. Trust me when I say it would help Chiharu's development greatly. ~Ryu

Here I come. Sorry if I'm late.

Name: Chiharu
Gender: Female
Race: Human
- First Post Space -
Age: 18
Element: Earth

Appearance: A young girl standing at 5'5", she wears an enchanted blood red coat of the same colour of her hair. Very little of her body is visible, what isn't covered by her medium-lenght hair or her coat rarely stays exposed for long. It takes an extraordinary occurrence to make her take off her coat, as it is the source of her powers. Hidden under her hair there also are her two pale green eyes, which are best described as inquisitive and cold.

Equipment: Her enchanted coat and simple shoes, she doesn't need any weapons to fight. The coat's enchatment consists of a limitless supply of sand inside of it to fuel her sand manipulation even when she's not in an environment such as a desert.

History: She used to live a normal life in a desert village until the villagers picked her as the yearly sacrifice for the sand spirit that supposedly watched over and protected them. She couldn't accept it as her fate, she wanted to live and fought until they had to forcibly drag her to the shrine in the middle of the desert. Left alone and wondering what would happen, she laid on the shrine. She was about to die from dehydration when she was visited by a djinn who took pity upon her and saved her life, transferring to her his sand manipulation abilities and giving her her coat. Fueled by an anger that could be comparable to that of a war god, she walked back to the village and extinguished all life, granting no mercy to those who sacrificed her for the favor of a spirit. She spent the entirety of her life wandering around towns, doing what it took to survive no matter what it was. She recently heard of the elemental championship and decided to join it, confident that she would walk over all those who were still weighed down by emotions.

Personality: Whatever personality she had before the sacrifice has now been erased, Chiharu became cold and cares only for her own well being. The only thing she seeks is more power.

Skills & Abilities:

She attacks by manipulating sand into attack forms, and her fighting style relies on standing still while the sand acts both as her offense and defense.

Any attacks not strong or fast enough to penetrate the shield of sand that automatically protects her are nullified, though maintaining it requires that she doesn't move around too much or it can't keep up with her.

She also has a variety of different sand attacks:

Sand spear: Chiharu creates a needle of various sizes and throws it at the enemy, aiming to penetrate armor and thrust through the target's body.
Bone breaker: If the enemy lets the sand envelop one or more of their limbs, Chiharu can tighten the grab until their bones break.
Sand projectiles: Standard lumps of thrown sand that aim to crush the enemy. Not particularly fast, but they are strong.
Burial: Pretty much a bigger and better version of the bone breaker, but it's the attack that costs Chiharu the most to use. She creates a huge quantity of sand and encircles the opponent with it, then burying them under it while using the sand to squeeze. Devastating, but not too hard to avoid.
Shifting sands: Creates a trap that causes any that walk into it to be rooted on the ground by sand until they break free. Can lead into a bone breaker targeting the leg joints. Visible before it's triggered, it's a puddle of sand on the floor.
Sand teleport: Chiharu transforms into sand and moves to another location nearby, can't be done often but while she's shifting positions she's invulnerable. Could be used once, maybe twice per fight.
Sand arms: Chiharu creates two very big (Slightly bigger than the average person) sand arms that she can control with her own, but this technique can't be maintained for long and she can't manipulate the sand normally while using it.


< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 14:47:24 >
Post #: 45
8/12/2014 13:40:22   
Ronin Of Dreams
Still Watching...


 AK Announcement: Opening post updated to reflect CURRENT STATUS of applicants judged up to EmbraceTheDarkness as of 3:15 PM Server Time.

Non-AK comment: Interesting element distribution so far. Fire tends to be highly popular, and yet hasn't had much so far.

< Message edited by Ronin Of Dreams -- 8/12/2014 15:16:23 >
AQ  Post #: 46
8/12/2014 14:11:49   
Siruiz
Member

This submission cannot be approved at current. You very much need to go into more detail on exactly what the ingestion of this chemical that you possess will do, since you can't afford to be vague given how key that it is to your character. Furthermore, I recommend carefully considering your diction and grammar before submitting this bio again, since some parts of it were rendered rather confusing as a result of word choice. ~Ryu

Zorad 1.1

Changes:
-No memory loss chemical.
-No poisoned staff.
-Only one chemical.

Name: Zorad 
Gender: Male 
Age: 39 
Race: Merfolk 
Element: Water 

Appearance: 

With a look in his eye's of pure madness and utter determination, Zorad stands 5'9”. While no one is sure if the crown of coral he wears is signifying royalty among merfolk, or has just grown over his face over time, it shields any hair Zorad might have had in the past. 

While sharing the blue skin all merfolk possess, Zorad's is tinted with green and much more pale, contributing once again to his strange appearance. 
He wears what appears to be a heavy cloak, but moves around with ease. He also has an oddly textured belt around his cloak, contributing to the rumour that he is royalty among merfolk. 
From what the rumours say, Zorad possesses strange items and materials, although the only real weapon he has is a staff with a stone on it. 

Zorad bares a necklace, held together with seaweed, and at the end, a seashell. The seashell appears to have something inscribed on it, but no one has ever gotten close enough to find out. Zorad has been seen gazing at this seashell, which leads people to believe it's very important to him. 

Equipment: 

With the exception of looking insane, Zorad appears harmless. Upon closer inspection, one would be proven otherwise. 

Zorad's cloak is aligned with lightweight coral plating, indicating that he might have been former military among merfolk. However, no other equipment he carries really supports this rumour, and so Zorad's true identity remains a mystery.

Among his other equipment, Zorad carries multiple vials of unknown liquids. Some of these liquids are potent chemicals.

At first glance, Zorad appears to be don a belt. This belt, is actually the tail of a serpent, and it is unknown how he found it or why he chooses to wear it. He has been seen glancing at it, strangely enough, with sadness. Once again, no one knows why.

The only real blade Zorad has is a staff with a large serpent fang on the end of it. This leads one to believe he might have slain one prior to acquiring the staff, but that is most likely not the case. He also looks at this with sadness, for whatever reason.

Aside from his belt and staff, Zorad's necklace is his most prized possession, or at least the seashell on the end of it is. It is inscribed with something, something very important to him. No one has ever been able to identify what it says, and most likely never will.



Story: 

Although no one can determine who Zorad really is, or what his intentions are, hints provide to who he might be. Some have speculated he was a former merfolk royal, due to his crown of coral and belt. Some say he might be former military, for those who have gotten a closer look at him and his staff. 
All will agree though, that this merfolk has clearly lost something important to him. Most likely his mind. 


Ten Years Ago... 

The serpent swam around in it's pen of coral, eager to play. It made him laugh, to see this little creature so happy. Zorad tossed it some more coral, which the creature began to chase after. Zorad sighed, and gathered his vials. This was the one creature he loved, the one he would not harm. He had never given it a real name, so he simply called it Serpent. It responded to that name anyway, so it didn't matter. Hefting his case up, Zorad gave the creature one last look, a smile. It appeared to smile back, so then he advanced on to the next pen. 

Here, awaited a much uglier creature. 
This crab-like specimen had huge claws for such a young one. It's pale, almost translucent body almost shined in the dark cavern Zorad called home. It's eyes protruding from it's head, it followed Zorad's every movement with a nervous anticipation, as if thinking that a horrible fate awaited it. It glanced over at Zorad's serpent, and gave him an almost odd look, as if to say, why aren't you doing anything to him? 
Zorad glanced at it for a moment, and then began pulling out some vials. His newest chemical would work this time he thought, so he opened the pen. The creature cowered, but extended it's pincers in an attempt to scare Zorad off. There was nothing scary about this creature. Zorad grinned, and lifted the creature out and began his work. 

Zorad woke up to the faint of sounds of screeching and destruction. Rushing over, he glanced outside his cavern overlooking the merfolk city. Zorad gasped in despair, for the city was in ruins. Merfolk were swimming through the streets, hollering for help. The guards were amongst them, feebly attempting to control the crowds. What being could have caused so much destruction overnight? Better yet, where was the foul creature? Off at the far side of the city, Zorad's confusion was replaced by bitter horror. There, an almost invisible beast scuttled across the streets, tearing down huts as it went. The beast he created. 

Zorad rushed to the back of his cavern, or what was left of it. All of his pens were broken, and boulders were blocking the back entrance. He surveyed the room, desperately searching anything intact. Rushing over to his desk, he realized in terror his Serpent's pen was buried underneath a pile of rocks. Zorad managed to remove the boulders blocking off his serpents pen. Grabbed the remaining intact vials on his desk, he stashed them in his robe and hurried in. 
the only thing that remained was it's tail, and one of it's fangs. Zorad grabbed both in despair, and ran back to the front of the cavern. The beast was making it's way out of the city, and to his surprise, the merfolk were advancing towards his cavern. Grabbing his lucky seashell, Zorad shrunk down in fear. What was he going to do? 


The judge stood over Zorad with a look of utter hatred on his face. 
“Zorad, you have been found guilty of destroying the city. A suitable punishment for you has been established. You have been stripped of your title of the King's Chemist. Your cavern has already been stripped of it's belongings and demolished. You are exiled from this city, never to return. To ensure this, we have brought the High Mage Talik to erase your memories.” 

The judge gave Zorad a last look of disgust, and waved over Talik. He glanced down at Zorad, who was clawing at his seashell necklace. 
“You pathetic creature.” Talik spat. “What's that, your good luck shell?” 
Zorad gave Talik a smile. “Why yes, it is, Talik. You'd be surprised just how lucky it is.” 
Talik gave Zorad an odd look, and then grunted. “Any last words, scum?” 
Zorad grinned at Talik, and replied. “I'll never forget your name, Talik. We will meet again.” 

Spells and Abilities: 

Zorad's vials are his only connection to spellcraft. The vials contain chemicals that, when ingested, cause Zorad to mutate, the same mutation that created the beast. (Growth)
There's no guarantee the mutation will help Zorad due to when he ingests it, he is unable to fight for a short amount of time.
Zorad is unable to fight hand to hand combat. To counter this, Zorad's serpent tail and staff enable him to have longer range than one with a sword. Without these, Zorad is unable to fight.

< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/12/2014 14:55:39 >
Post #: 47
8/12/2014 18:19:25   
Bastet
Member

This submission has not been approved because of the high risk of bunnying present within the current power set that Chiharu possesses. The way with which her sand interacts with other characters comes dangerously close to taking control of their fate out of the hands of their players, which is a major issue. What I would recommend is to consider a more straightforward style of combat that doesn't rely so heavily on this style of "manipulation", particularly when involving the internals of another character. ~Ryu

I hope I did a good enough job of rebalancing Chiharu.

Name: Chiharu
Gender: Female
Race: Human
- First Post Space -
Age: 18
Element: Earth

Appearance: A young girl standing at 5'5", she wears a blood red coat of the same colour of her hair. Very little of her body is visible, what isn't covered by her medium-lenght hair or her coat rarely stays exposed for long. It takes an extraordinary occurrence to make her take off her coat, as she holds it dear as a memento of the encounter with the djinn who saved her. Hidden under her hair there also are her two pale green eyes, which are best described as inquisitive and cold.

Equipment: Her coat and simple shoes, she doesn't need any weapons to fight. She also carries a water pouch under her coat to keep herself as far away from dehydration as possible, she developed a phobia for it after she almost died.

History: She used to live a normal life in a desert village until the villagers picked her as the yearly sacrifice for the sand spirit that supposedly watched over and protected them. She couldn't accept it as her fate, she wanted to live and fought until they had to forcibly drag her to the shrine in the middle of the desert. Left alone and wondering what would happen, she laid on the shrine. She was about to die from dehydration when she was visited by a djinn who took pity upon her and saved her life, transferring to her his sand manipulation abilities and giving her her coat. Fueled by an anger that could be comparable to that of a war god, she swore vengeance upon the village who would've thrown her away so easily. She ran away as far as she could and spent the entirety of her life wandering around towns, doing what it took to survive no matter what it was. She recently heard of the elemental championship and decided to join it, confident that she would walk over all those who were still weighed down by emotions.

Personality: Whatever personality she had before the sacrifice appears to have been erased, Chiharu became cold and hostile to the outside world. Deep inside she's still keeping a dear image of the djinn, but she doesn't show any affection towards anybody. She is prone to panic attacks if her defense is breached, as she has come to think of it as impenetrable.

Skills & Abilities:

To fuel every ability of hers, Chiharu converts the ground near her into sand as required. This will get worn out if the fight goes on too long, as it requires her to spend energy for it.
Chiharu's fighting style is very unusual: she often stays still for the entire duration of the fight and evokes barriers of sand to shield herself from incoming attacks. They are tough, yet far from impenetrable.
This style is most effective against melee attackers, as her main form of offense is making the sand dispersed by blows hitting against her barrier be inhaled or absorbed through the body of the attacker.
This builds up an amount of "sand pressure" inside the enemy, whose power can be released at any time by Chiharu. The more sand the opponent an opponent absorbs, the more internal damage it does, but if used without enough buildup it does almost nothing. The sand inside of an opponent also disappears once it has been triggered like this.
She has melee-range small sand-wave attacks at her disposal, but they don't have any effects other than building up the pressure slightly and a knock-back effect.
Against ranged attackers, she can send out small waves of sand that travel across the ground. They slowly dig towards the opponent and force them to move if they don't want to suffer from movement impairments and, if they get hit enough times, being restrained to the ground until they manage to break free. Their downsides are that, as long as they are active, Chiharu has to spend energy to mantain them and they can clearly be seen as they move at ground level. Because of this, she tries to direct them in a way that will lure the target into melee range and try to make them attack her in vain.
If her shields are broken she is very vulnerable to attacks, possessing no other abilities to protect herself with. Once this happens, the match is basically won for the attacker.



< Message edited by Ryu Viranesh -- 8/13/2014 18:25:48 >
Post #: 48
8/12/2014 18:37:45   
Tdub
Member

Approved. You took care of everything that I asked and all looks good, so welcome aboard. ~Ryu

I'm always happy to make my bio better under instruction. As requested, the heat ability has been removed. Also, the fireball abilities have been changed to use a less-specific energy measurement (be assured that these will be used in moderation). Finally, I removed a fairly mindless typo in which I seem to have left out a few words in a sentence. Thanks for your help!

Name Prince Makelyth (Rhymes with "sith")
Gender: Male
Race: Dragon-Cursed
Age: 34
Element: Fire
First Post: Right Here

Appearance:
Makelyth is an impressive sight, and it can be hard to tell if he is human, dragon, or Draconian. Standing at six feet and three inches tall, his weight is hard to determine, as he is in no way out of shape, as can be seen in his toned and powerful muscles, but he has extra features for a man of his height.

To begin with, his entire body seems to be covered with strange scales, tinted just a tad bit red, and looking as though they have broken out of his skin. These scales cover his entire body, going from his bald head, down his exposed torso, and reappearing at the bottom of his knee-length brown trousers. His bare feet are also scaled, but appear more human than other parts of his body, aside from the pointed claws at the end of each of his toes. The claws resemble those on his fingers.

A hole is cut through his pants specifically for the purpose of allowing his strange tail to extend to the ground. The four-foot appendage is tinted red, like the rest of his body, and has sharp, pointed ridges leading up from the bottom, following the tail. Further examination reveals that the ridges follow his entire spine, ending on the back of his head.

His face is, like the rest of him, a strange sight to behold. It appears slightly elongated, as if it is trying to break free of its skull, almost like a lizard's face. Instead of a nose, two slits serve as the primary breathing apparatus, contrasting his deep, red eyes that, aside from their color, appear human. His mouth is also fairly normal from the outside, although opening it would reveal sharp, pointed teeth. A scar going down from underneath his left eye to his chin only adds to his intimidating glare.

Equipment:
Makelyth's primary weapon is a three-foot sword with an intricate, gold-decorated hilt. The blade is held in a sheath that is decorated in a manner similar to the hilt. This sheath is strapped around Makelyth's body by a leather band, wrapped around his front side from his right shoulder to his left hip, and going around his back in the same way. The sheath is attached to the strap on his back, allowing for easy access with his right hand.

In addition, the prince carries several pieces of equipment on his belt. Four eight-inch knives are clipped at his waist, with two on each side. These knives are weighted for throwing, but have use in hand-to-hand combat as well.

The last thing he owns is a bag of red sand, strapped to his right hip. This sand, while seemingly ordinary, is actually mixed with quite an interesting potion. When this sand comes in contact with exposed skin, fur, or thin cloth, it will begin to eat through the material. At first touch, the skin begins to feel a tingle, which shortly transforms into burning pain. It won't eat all the way though the skin, but will leave quite a disfiguration and pain before wearing off. Makelyth's scaled hands are immune to its effect, as is anyone with hardened skin.

Abilities:
Prince Makelyth has spent his entire life training with a sword, and it definitely shows. Aside from that, he has good aim with his throwing knives and can also use them in hand-to-hand combat. He is ambidextrous, and therefore can fight with two of the knives at once.

He is very strong and athletic, and can run and jump well, although his tail is more of a hindrance in matter such as these. In addition, his tail can be controlled, and when it is used correctly, the ridges on it can be used to cut legs or anything close to them. His scales offer a type of armor, tough but breakable. It can withstand glancing blows and some weaker magic, but nothing too powerful

His other abilities are a result of his curse. He has a range of basic fire manipulation, with a few techniques suited for combat.

His explosive fireball does exactly what is sounds like, creating an explosion with a radius of around three feet in all directions. The flames are not very hot but can still be dangerous. This can't exactly be used every second, but as long as he keeps his energy in check, he should be able to use it fairly often.

His compact fireball is smaller, and more suited to doing damage to a single individual than to a group. This does not explode, but will hurt an opponent more and likely knock them back. This takes more energy and can't be used as much as the previous fireball.

As a final option, Makelyth can breath a stream of fire for a short amount of time. The stream is concentrated, focused on greatly damaging a small area. This is very powerful fire, and how long he can hold it depends on how much fire he has used previously, with a maximum of a few seconds. It is unlikely that any other fire could be created for at least several seconds after using this attack, and Makelyth will most likely feel quite tired after doing this.

Personality:
The best word to use here is complicated. In actuality, he is an honorable and kind man. However, he is constantly conflicting with his draconic side, a part of him fighting for bloodthirsty, savage dominance. Makelyth does his best to keep this feral counterpart under control, but can succumb to some of its desires should he lose focus.

History:
Not much is known about Prince Makelyth's past before his journey to these lands. What is known is derived from the records of his homelands up until the time of his exile. Manuscripts state that, through a long and complicated political history, an entire nation set out to exterminate every last dragon in their borders, with the dragons promising to do the same to the ruling humans. This conflict was later attributed to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and general mistakes made on both sides.

With most other sentient species fleeing, the two enemies were free to destroy each other in a devastating war of attrition. The reigning human monarch, King Bosnor, set his son, Prince Makelyth, in charge of a large portion of the human armies. Makelyth had no personal hatred or quarrel with the dragons, but carried out his father's orders without fail.

Unfortunately, it just so happened that the tribe of dragons Makelyth was in charge of eliminating was a tribe of Inferno Dragons of the west, who answered indirectly to the Fire Lord himself. Horrible acts were committed by Makelyth's men, and the blame for these actions fell upon the prince.

It is unknown whether the curse was placed by the dragons, the Fire Lord himself, or an envoy of the great Lord, but Makelyth's life was changed in an instant. A very painful process produced the dragon-like qualities seen on the prince, and the deed was done. Suddenly, the cheers of the crowds turned to jeers of disdain. No one wanted to be around such an abomination, especially among people raised on anti-dragon propaganda, preparing their children for war with the "ugly brutes."

Eventually, Makelyth's own father banished him from their lands, and that is where the records end. The prince's story picks up around five years later, when reports of the strange dragon-man began surfacing in towns near Bren. Makelyth has entered the Elemental Championship in hopes of restoring himself to his human form, regaining the love of his father and the trust of his people, and returning finally to his homeland.

< Message edited by Tdub -- 8/30/2014 12:26:39 >
Post #: 49
8/12/2014 18:53:52   
ringulreith
Member

Are the preliminaries still starting tomorrow?
Post #: 50
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