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(AQ) BURPs vs. Horsemen: I Can't Think of a Witty Title

 
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11/27/2014 0:05:37   
Disc Lorde
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BURPs vs. Horsemen: I Can't Think of a Witty Title

Dramatis Personae:
Disc Lorde
Lance
Nyanja
Cerrana
Nox



Harvest Festival, a time for friends and family to gather round the dinner table and enjoy a feast. But first the ingredients must be gathered for such a feast, which is just what one such group of friends were doing.

"Do you think this Turkeysaurus Rex will be sufficient?" Disc Lorde asked Lance, levitating the dead body of a Turkeysaurus twice his size.

"I should think so, unless you're planning on inviting half of Battleon now."

"No," Disc Lorde chuckled, "But most of our guests are adventurers, and you know a mage casts on his stomach."

"Aye," grinned Lance. "Now I just need to gather a few more fregetables for my family's Sqrapple salad recipe and I think we'll be ready."

"Way ahead of nya," said Nyanja, striding over with an armful of fregetables. "This is my first harvest festival in Battleon. Is it always like this?"

Disc Lorde frowned a little. "Well, now that you mention it, no. Usually the BURPs attack. They used to attack every other year, but recently they've been attacking every year. Where are they...?"

The question was soon answered. Not one league away, the BURPs confronted the Horsemen. Everyone heard the BURPs declaration of mutiny against the Horsemen, and the forces clashed.



Disc Lorde turned to his companions. "Well, I think the clear choice is to support the BURPs. Their goal to liberate themselves from being forced into conflict with us seems admirable, and their subjugation to the bringers of starvation and blight could only have disastrous consequences."

"Uh, what he said," said Lance.

"Never thought I'd be fighting side by side with rats, but I guess that's the way the catnip crumbles," remarked Nyanja.

"Ah, look," said Disc Lorde, "there are our old compatriots, the Meschandalae sisters, now. Let us go form a plan of battle with them."

Said sisters had already noticed the group and begun walking over to them. There were only two of them present, Cerrana, wearing a suit of armor which clanked as she walked and carrying a massive axe almost effortlessly, and Nox, wearing an assassin's robe and carrying a dagger, moving silent as a shadow.

"Disc Lorde."

"Cerrana. Come to throw your axe into the fray?"

"Of course."

"I assume you will be supporting the..."

"Horsemen."

"...Beg pardon?"

"You heard me."

"But..." Disc Lorde seemed shocked. "You're all about freedom. I thought, surely, you'd be supporting the BURPs effort to liberate themselves."

"Don't call me Shirley, and I have no code. I fight for the Horsemen because I like them better, and because I think it might bring chaos. I assume, from your reaction, that you support the rats?"

"...Yes. May I inquire what your sisters Astreaea and Xedra's positions are?"

"Astreaea's postion is that tea is delicious and Xedra is...busy. They will not be participating."

"...Well then, it seems that we're rivals."

"Yes."

Then they all had a moment where they all dwelled on the fact that they must now fight close friends. Well, all but one. Nox did not care about such things. Nyanja was the first to notice her disappearance.

"Hey, where did tall, dark, and stabby go?" A beat. "...Right, dumb question." Everyone knew that if Nox wasn't in sight she was probably killing something.

"Yeah, I'd better go find her," said Cerrana. "You guys don't need to, she'll find you. Well, see you."

"See you," said Disc Lorde.

After a few seconds of silence, Disc Lorde spoke up again. "I think we should stay close to each other."

"Agreed," Nyanja and Lance chorused.
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