Ultrapowerpie
Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest
|
"Alright, I'm back with food, Ms. Exposition." Joe said sarcastically, annoyed that he had to go and do things that caused him to needlessly miss action while Janet got to bear witness to the action completely. "Thanks, I'll be sure to mention your contribution to the cause in the Report once we get back to the Juncture," Janet smirked as she grabbed some food from the bag. "Just tell me what happened, it looks like John is still in the fight" "Aye, that he is. In fact he's now in the Final Four. Earth jut got called out... literally the sands decided to give him up" "Man, this is just nonsense, they should be fighting to the death not fighting for the whimsy of these beings...." "Hush up, at least this means there's a good chance John won't die here even if he doesn't win. The Juncture would be most displeased if we lost him to this fight, especially given the... setbacks of late..." "Yes yes, well, what's going on with the current fight? Has the horse been drenched?" "No, the coward fled behind the Earth Pillar, not surprising.... wait she appears to be coming out now" "Aye, there she.... I say tha doesn't look like she's preparing a lightning bolt..." Joe commented. "You're right... oh no, she's not actually going to... charge him, is she?" Janet asked, a bit taken aback from the audacity of th emove. "Yes, yes she is, look the glaive is already being charged and... she's off..." "My that glaive seems to be emiting some sort of energy field... I suspect that being zapped by it would be rather gruesome, for projectile, water or flesh..." "Whelp, looks like the only choice left to John is the Bellywhomper," Joe concluded. "The what?" Janet asked. "That's right, you didn't participate in Lightish Brigade Clean Up, did you?" "No, I was already engaged in another assigment when... was that the big charge?" "Indeed, down, down the 600 rode into the valley of dirt. The Rusty Pallies refusing to get cleaned up for the upcoming parade in Battleon led by Artix to celebrate the Day of the Distingrated Dead that Don't stay Dead.... that's quite a mouthful actually. Anyways, Artix had some paladins on horses that refused to take a bath without holy water. This was all well and good until that... incident with the Ley Lines shuting down all the powers of the Necros and the Pallies." "Ah, yes, the Rusty Pallies refused to clean up and were a disgrace and as such were banished from the main Order as they were not only unreasonable, but highly pungent. Alright, but what does tht have to do with John and this Bellywhomper?" Janet remembered, hearing parts of the tale from her colleagues. "Well, as I said, they rode half a league onward, into the Valley of Dirt, which as ou know is one of Lore's dirtiest areas, so dirty that most creatures stay away from there just from the smell. But no, the Rusty Pallies not only didn't want to take a bath to get cleaned up for the parade, they wanted to be EXTRA repungant just to pay back Artix for banishing them. This coincided with the fact that we had some of our own chasing them with steam-powered steam cleaning suits. "I'm assuming this means that y'all had set up a trap at the valley?" Janet asked. "Most assuredly so. John was one of the many janitors that entered the outskirts to set up this operation. But I'm digressing. Anyways, fowards the Lightish (for they were of questionable shininess) Brigade rode, charging for our guns..." "Guns? We don't use guns in the JJJJ... maybe Tranqs but..." "No no no, Cannons, dear Janet. As in, our Water Cannons," Joe corrected. "Of course, the amount of grime on their armor could only be possibly hosed off with a high pressure water cannon. I'm assuming wind and water mages filled in the slots where you didn't have enough artillery?" "Indeed, anyways, there was Cannons to the left of them, Cannons to the Right of them, Cannons in front of them! John was manning one of the artillery in front of them, which is where he developed the Bellywhomper..." "My, I can't imagine with the volleys and thunder, a storm of streams and soakage, them riding boldly well." "Ride they did, boldly indeed. INto the jaws of the Valley of Dirt, into the mouth of Healthy living, rode the 600" "I still dont' see where John's move came in..." "FLASHING THEIR SABRES!" Joe continued, standing up and getting caught in the moment. "Flashing them bare, in the air, with full intent to sabre the gunners!" "Uhm, ok this is getting odd... what does that have t do with John?" "John needed to buy the artillery time to finish the deed, and so he walked bodly into the valley, and using the vast pool of water we had avaliable, He attempted to keep them back with waves and slippery soap!" "My, that's... bold, I guess" "But all the world wonder'd how those pallies plunged through the slippery soap! Right through the water line they broke! John was about to be sabred I say, had he not performed the Bellywhomper that day!" "Which is...?" "He dived for cover using a soapy wave, leaving behind a rather slippery trail for the horses to slip and fall down, thus buying time for our heroes!" "Wait he just bellyflopped out of the way with a slippery trail?" "CANNONS! Cannon to the right, the left and behind them (for we had moved in opposing water cannons to cut off a retreat), they thundered with vollies of water!" "Joe, the uh, fight?" Janet asked. "Horse and Human fell that day, fell as if into a giant well! Thsoe that had made it through fell into a giant hole we had carved up full of normal water so that they would indeed be lceansed! All that was left of them, left of the six hundred!" "Ok, I'm ignoring you now and going back to the fight..." John recognized a cavalry charge thanks to the Lightish Brigade, and was fully prepared (though a bit taken aback that someone would do something so reckless in such a place) for it. He saw the charged energy spitting from the galive, making any projectile counterattack useless. This of course left only one option. Dang it, I HATE the Bellywhomper... it gets me all muddy Sighing, John plopped another soap bar in the bucket, as he had moved back closer to it when his foe had gone behind the pillar. The speed of the charge didn't give him much time to stir the water and soap, as the steed was quite clearly at full gallop. Waiting until the last possible moment, John then lept to his right, away from the bucket and towards the water pillar, a stream of water spewing forth from the bucket and just underneath John to help propel him far away from the area. He landed on the ground belly first as the water continued to carry him forwards, leaving behind a very slippery trial behind him, one that would easily cause a charging horse to slip. John rolled onto his back as the water torrent stopped moving him, getting ready for another attack in case his gambit moved and he needed to move quickly again.
< Message edited by Ultrapowerpie -- 9/20/2015 12:41:07 >
|