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2/17/2019 17:14:00   

I know this isn't quite a disaccomplishment and more just me talking about my life, somehow writing these posts has always helped me. Yesterday was my birthday, another one. Another lap around the sun. Another supposedly happy day and all that jazz. Today I actually celebrated it with my friends. Some younger friends and some of my age. And I feel lost. I'm working on two project at my university, neither is paid. So I'm tutoring high school students on Fridays. Going to the university almost every day makes me feel out of place. Everyone is younger than me and all my friends there are three or four years younger. It's not their fault, but hanging around with them gives me the sensation that I don't belong there anymore. I've already done the classes they complain about, I already have a very different perspective on the "that professor is such a jerk for not giving us a good grade". Both of the projects are with people younger than me. While in one, we're just a team of two and she thinks a lot like me, I'm fine. With the other, a team of sixteen, where the oldest of them is four years younger and barely out of the Bachelor, I feel out of place. The doubts they have, I already had them. The uncertainty of either to do or not, I already solved it. But on those points, they refuse to listen and decide to cave in to their doubts. I am not spending much time one that project at the moment.

While the young ones give me the certainty that I must move on with my life, a specific friend of my age makes feel bad for not having yet moved on. Again, not his fault and neither on purpose or things he says. Just... I've known him literally all my life and he's doing what he loves, getting really well paid, has an amazing girlfriend, all that. I am happy for him, I am. But while the two of us were misfits, it was okay. While I was focusing on my thesis and he on getting his life together, I felt fine. But now? I feel like I should be doing more than I am. Since December I have applied to so many things that take so long to reply and these three months just drifting are killing me on the inside. I want my independence. I want to have a course in life. I know what I want to do. I just wish someone would tell me when I can start.

tl;dr: I feel old and pointless.

Well this is a conclusion that I have reached today as well. I am very intimate with two girls. They are very intimate with each other too. Today I realized that I am in love with both. Halfway to my 30s (which actually hurts to write) and I'm having a teenage drama.

Also concluded that I'm a workaholic.

Never forgot this forum's password in the last 12 years.
DF  Post #: 76
12/28/2019 23:57:01   
Corvus Corax
♥ Senpai ♥

Acc: After 15 years I still remember my PW to the forums lol.
Acc: Rapidly approaching my 2 year wedding anniversary! What a joy it's been.
Dis: Not a hair on my head isn't grey now... Yikes.
Acc: Still have a thick mane of luscious hair so that's good I suppose.
AQ AQW  Post #: 77
2/15/2020 4:10:15   

Weird feels

ACC: made my first AdventureQuest character 15 years ago, give or take a month. In 6 months, I'll be starting my first fulltime job out of college.
AQ DF MQ Epic  Post #: 78
2/24/2020 17:44:27   

It's odd seeing my 1 year old post just two posts above this one.
So much has changed since then.

A little less than a year ago I joined an IT firm. Worked there from April to mid-July. Quit because I got a research fellowship at my university. Still there. I've been able to experiment both career paths I wanted to try. And my conclusion is that I love research but hate having to be in the lab. With this, I've set a new course. In April I'll apply for a second MSc, this one in Mathematics/Computer Science and will be working fulltime simultaneously. For this I will have to move out of where I've lived my entire life and leave all of this behind. I'll get a new start, which I've been needing for some time now.
I went from drifting in life to actually having a course.

Lately I've been feeling alone again. That pesky feeling that insists on showing up almost every night. While I do have solid groups of friends, I always keep them at a certain distant. Then I feel lonely because I don't think anyone is close enough. Vicious cycle.

Here I am as always, using you guys as a my therapists. Been doing that for 13 years now. Thank you.
DF  Post #: 79
2/10/2021 15:41:16   

Acc: Been playing for almost 15 years
Dis: Why can't I quit you?
Dis: Went back to school in the hopes of going on to get a degree (basically redoing the Irish leaving cert) but what with home school and everything having a toll on my mental health, I'm taking a year's break before applying for degree courses.
Post #: 80
3/20/2021 18:28:42   

I waited one year to not break the double post rule.

Acc: I did get into the Mathematics MSc.
Dis: I did not get a job in the University's city, still where I always was.
Acc: I did get a job though.
Dis: It pains me to do it. It was the hardest recruitment process I ever went through. Algorithms test and two technical interviews. What's the hardest thing I've done in the last 7 months? Join tables

Dis: I know what I want to do professionaly, I know my backup plan. I can't seem to do any progress towards either of them.
DF  Post #: 81
4/2/2021 0:08:38   

Acc: ya girl got a new job as a data analyst at a local LGBT center. gay data analyst time bois
DF  Post #: 82
4/2/2021 5:36:14   
How We Roll Winner

Acc: Finally working at American express with above average salary.
Dis: Never knew how difficult it is right now (Pandemic/quarantine) to process all required documents for my new work. Was under tremendous pressure since American Express required me to pass the requirements ASAP.
Acc: Thankfully I was able to expedite all the documents and was able to pass them on time.
AQW Epic  Post #: 83
4/3/2021 15:47:49   
Chaosweaver Amon

ACC?: Decided to attempt college again...chopping up trees got old quick.
DIS: It was very hard on my mental health last time and I'm somewhat paranoid about going back.
DF  Post #: 84
8/14/2021 9:14:22   
Corvus Corax
♥ Senpai ♥

Acc: After 14 years at my current hospital, my wife an I both accepted positions at a Magnate hospital in our area.
Acc: Still happy, healthy and intact after 20 months of covid life.
Dis: Back to back heatwaves and wildfire smoke ≠ awesome. Covid still stinks.
Acc: Winter is (slowly but surely) coming.
AQ AQW  Post #: 85
8/20/2021 22:13:07   
Purple Armadillo

Acc: Still alive and kicking and glad to see a bunch of you are too!
Dis: Miss a bunch of y'all </3
DF  Post #: 86
12/5/2021 15:41:30   

Holy poop has life been a rollercoaster since I last posted here.

Acc/Dis: I quit the job I wrote about, mid-June I was out. Pure data engineering ofr a huge bank with no input whatsoever about the course of the product, was killing me. I was also having a severe burnout at the time.
Acc: Still doing my second MSc. I am loving the courses. Even though last year was a dumpster fire, I managed to do 6 of the 10 courses.
Acc: Got a new job. On data science this time. Modelling data using machine learning and my opinion actuallys matters.
Acc: Loving the project. Loving the team. To top it all, I was chosen due to my dual background on both Physics and Mathematics. I'm the geek of the team and loving every second of it. I missed this feeling. I missed knowing what I am doing. I missed knowing something well enough to be respected for it. I missed being able to choose the course of my work.

Not even going to write any dis. Just take this positive post.
DF  Post #: 87
1/20/2023 3:27:47   
Corvus Corax
♥ Senpai ♥

Haha oh wow this still works!
Dis: Im an old man! Good lord howd that happen?
Acc: I have a legit wizard beard. Seriously.
Dis: Im still not a wizard.
Acc: The fam and I sold our house and relocated to CA.
DIS: Our new interest rate is 5% and we live in CA
Acc: Life is seriously awesome.
AQ AQW  Post #: 88
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