elite dark slayer
I'm sure you'll soon be sick of people making jokes about "lending a hand" so I won't even attempt that. But before you lose your head over the lack of a pun, you should really read on. I recently heard rumours that you had point blank refused skin cream for your face. That's a pity, because you are sorely in need of beautifying products, but I hope to soon be able to say you won't need your face, or the rest of your head for that matter. I sincerely hope that next time the shave will be even closer, perhaps as close as I wish it to be (that's very, very, close). Anyway, if you escape me when we meet again, I will simply put my best foot forward, (as well as perhaps your best foot, as a consolation prize), and hope for the best on the rematch yet to come.
Enough of these vague threats of my return, I need to speak to you of something that is of equally vital importance to you and me. I seem to have found myself with an extra arm, and you were complaining that I cut yours off. What's that you say? My extra arm is actually yours? I'll be mailing it to you separately, you should expect it in about a month (don't blame me, blame the postal service). You'll need to sign for the package. If you can't sign with your left hand, I wish you the absolute best of luck!
Back to my original point, I'm fairly sure I was threatening you. Let's see, hmm, where was I... Ah there we go. Cross me again, and I shall show you what happens to those who do not bow to my lady the Empress Gravelyn of the Shadowscythe. Throwing you to the unicorns is too good for you. You have been warned.
I sincerely wish you a horrific and agonising death, followed by a horrific and agonising eternity in Nulgath's torture chambers. Run as fast as you can, I'll be coming.