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RE: =CT= Step One: Bios

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9/19/2018 12:12:35   

Good to see another fun character from you, Roseleaf! Frelia is fairly straightforward, while still giving her a fair bit to defend herself. Note that she will be at a disadvantage against significantly magical opponents, since she doesn't have much in the way to deflect those attacks.


Source Setting: Dragonfable

Name: Frelia Bordenaro
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Race: Human

Appearance: Frelia hails from Dragesvard, used to a harsh and wintery environment. While the climate where she lives now is much more forgiving, she still dresses herself in thick, treated leather from her homeland, exposing only her face, neck, and the tips of her fingers. A hood of the same material can be pulled up over her head, although this results in her short, light brown hair becoming extremely matted. Light metal plates are tied around her knees, ankles, forearms, and across the left side of her chest. She stands about six feet tall. Her facial features are soft and small, almost making her look like a bunny or ferret, and her eyes are an incredibly light shade of blue.

Personality: Frelia is incredibly intelligent and curious about the world around her. Specifically, the things that live in it. There are so many different species out in this world, and she’s determined to find and catalogue all of them. What makes them all tick? What’s a “soul”? Someday, she’ll find out. Her devotion to this goal often gets her in sticky situations, and causes her to take unnecessary risks. A gigantic monstrosity that no one’s ever seen before? Somehow she’ll find a way to grab a scale or two off of it. For science!

History: Dragesvard was nice and all, but nothing ever changes there! Well, there was that one time… my point still stands. As soon as she turned 21, Frel packed her bags and took the first ship South. She traveled from town to town, doing odd jobs here and there to fund her next great expedition. Most of these jobs involved hunting, with various animals, monsters, and sometimes humanoids annoying local townsmen who wanted them disposed of. Frel developed a fascination for these various hunts, and began to collect samples of hair, teeth, and other features from the monsters she killed. So far, she has classified and defined over 75 different species.

Physical Ability: While Frel is not incredibly strong or unnaturally fast, and has no inherent magical abilities, she has an exceptional intellect and can think and react rather quickly. Her running speed is average, and her strength is a bit lower than that. But she is quick to notice when something is amiss and quick to understand what she must do about it.

The Bow of Guiding Light: Frel’s most-used weapon. It is relatively plain, a wooden bow with small engravings on either end, carved in Dragesvard specifically for boar-hunting. It is enchanted to sense its wielder’s target and aim itself accordingly. This, of course, has a limit- the wielder can’t just point off into the sky and expect the bow to adjust itself. For the bow to sense the intended target, Frel will still have to aim relatively accurately. The bow will only make slight changes to allow Frel to better guarantee a hit. It can take into account distance and wind speed when adjusting.

Sheath of 20 Arrows: Frel keeps a leather sheath behind her back, which currently holds twenty wooden arrows. With owlbear feathers, specifically, gathered from her last kill. While Frel made them herself, they are not enchanted in any way. If Frel shoots and her target moves, the guiding powers of the bow will not matter as the arrow has already been released.

Skinning Daggers: Frel keeps two small daggers with her at all times, one in each boot. While she much prefers her bow, and is much more accurate with it, these can be thrown with decent accuracy if she’s in a pinch. It takes her slightly less time to pull a dagger out of her boot and throw it than it does to reload and accurately aim her bow. Magic takes time, man.

Dual-swords: Inevitably, there have been a few hunts where Frel has been attacked by the organism she is hunting. For this situation, she has two one-handed swords, one sheathed on either side of her waist. She keeps these incredibly sharp. They are meant to cut through thick animal hides with ease, and thus do the same with bare skin or light armor. Medium armor would be able to be cut with one or two strikes depending on density and thickness, and heavy armor would be very hard to puncture without repeated strikes.

The Ticks: Frel has, strewn in various pockets in her equipment, about five to eight metal contraptions that can easily fit in the palm of her hand. She engineered them herself over about a five year span. She must place them onto an organism herself, holding the metal in order for it to make physical contact with the area she intends it to latch onto. Once it is there, it will connect to the body with small metal hooks. After attaching, it will begin to sap the energy of its prey. This can result in increased fatigue, loss of strength and conviction, inability to react or think as quickly, or other such symptoms. These effects will start off very small at first, but will increase exponentially over time. Basically, the sooner it is noticed and removed, the better off Frel’s opponent will be. After the fight, Frel will pick up the discarded ticks, and can bring them back to analyze what they have collected.
In addition to these effects, the area around the Tick will become increasingly itchy and uncomfortable over time. Although it is ideally applied onto bare skin, it was designed to be able to penetrate thick animal hides, and thus still attaches effectively through most nonmetal armors, though its grip will decrease as armor thickness increases. To get Ticks off, you COULD scratch, but it’s not ideal. Forcefully and abruptly pulling at the Tick WILL discard it, but its metal hooks have a strong possibility of still being embedded into the skin. This will halt the energy drain and relieve most itchiness, but the metal will still cause at least a little bit of discomfort until carefully removed. Not enough to inflict pain or lasting damage, but enough that the opponent will have to adjust to the feeling and ensure it does not distract them.

< Message edited by Starflame13 -- 9/22/2018 10:11:30 >
Post #: 26
1/19/2020 15:59:33   
How We Roll Winner

A couple characters from you, Chaos! Before we get down into the nitty gritty, some general things for you to consider:

Please keep in mind that you're writing a character for a roleplay, not designing a class for a game. Abilities that really very heavily on timing are difficult to pull off when there isn't a physical timer to be found, and can often lead to debates with opponents as to if something is feasible or not. This is also true for abilities that rely heavily on tracking time between usage, or recharge time.
Additionally, you don’t need to list every single move/blow physically possible in the way that a class has strict lists of abilities. If you say "this character specializes in martial arts with a focus on avoidance and agility", that tells me more than "this character performs flips and quick steps to dodge attacks and focus on their opponent", and gives you more freedom to show off the actions in the actual posts!

Lastly, while this is a fantasy event, there is only so far "The Rule of Cool" can take you. I don't require people to research heavily into the physics of their abilities or history of their weapon choices, but if something seems clearly impractical, I will take note and ask you to adjust accordingly.

Now, Valentina! To start with, make sure you fully describe the character via text - images can be a helpful supplement but should not be relied on. That said, I think the only thing missing is her build (is she slim, athletic, muscled and built like a tank, etc.?) Since you list her weapon in reference to her height, having a number here would be useful too. As an aside, heels do not work like that unless the shoes themselves are enchanted. If you want to include that these shoes are to enable the actions described, that's fine - but normal heels are very likely to slip or break in the scenarios described. I would recommend trying to walk around for a day in the height of heels you're suggesting to get a better idea of the feasibility - movies often lie as to what's possible!

Looking at the weapons: A scythe is typically a two-handed pole arm, particularly when the handle length is longer than its wielder. You have your fighting style described as single-handed at range and two-handed at close range - both of which the weapon choice is impractical for. To keep the style suggested, you may want to consider changing the weapon to a longer than average khopesh. Otherwise, I would adjust this to focus on the sweeping long-range style and further develop the Odachi for close-range.

In terms of the Odachi and the Iaijutsu backdraw - from some quick research, I believe the Iaijutsu was specifically intended for a waist sheath. Even ignoring this and focusing just on the motion, the Odachi is a rather long blade - requiring a back sheath that can turn in order to fully draw. This would make your unsheath-slice in one motion extremely difficult to pull off, especially if you intend to re-sheath the blade afterwards to preform the move again. Is there a shorter blade that will work for the vision you have? If not, I would specify it takes time to align the blow after drawing the blade.

Now, the hidden shotgun. A shotgun has a fair amount of recoil for a firearm, so having it as a concealed wrist-carry seems likely to shatter your wrists with repeated use. If this is intentional given the amount of healing this character has, we can work with it, otherwise it makes more sense to leave the weapon as a fairly high-caliber pistol (which would decrease it's power slightly). Additionally, you have two main focuses with this weapon: first a puncturing for damage/internal injuries, and second a knock-back. I would pick one for the focus. Lastly, please give a number to how many rounds the gun can hold - and a rough count of the ammo that Valentina would have on hand.

Speaking of healing, having both the Healing Blood vials and Beastkin Regeneration is too much. Pick one. If you choose the Healing Blood, having 10 uses of a practically full heal (because even with your scale, the wounds still heal completely if not as securely) is too strong. Drop this down to 5 uses and increase the healing drop between use. For example, the first one may be able to heal a life-threatening wound, but the last one could only fully heal slight wounds or bruises. If you prefer to keep the Regeneration, I'd add the stipulation that the amount of damage healed must be directly proportional to the damage dealt - so that a killing blow (or nearly killing blow) would be needed to heal a life-threatening wound.

Please post an updated bio once the changes are made!

I really need to get some combat practice.

Source Setting: Dragonfable/AQW

Name: Valentina Jarishnikov
Age Range: early 30s
Race (Pure or halfbreed only): Human

Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...):
Valentina is a tall and beautiful woman. Her trademark features are glacial blue eyes and long, silver hair. She has somewhat pale skin from constant hunting at night, but has a healthy flush suited with physically fit beast hunters.
Much of her height is in her long, graceful legs.
She dons a form-fitting leather (?) outfit well suited for slaying beasts and keeping the slick blood from staining. The waist cape helps deter beasts from biting her legs somewhat.
Much to the bemusement of fellow hunters, she wears thigh-high, heeled boots. It turns out these boots actually let her balance on thin surfaces, such as stair handrails.

Belongings and Equipment:

Beasthunter Scythe:
The Beasthunter Scythe is Valentina's favored weapon. The Scythe's long reach, taller than Valentina, coupled with the punishing blade makes it ideal for dismembering beasts from a distance. The Scythe is covered in a strange growth that resembles bone.

Iaijutsu Backblade:
On Valentina's back is a sheathed odachi. It is aligned to be drawn by her left hand. This particular odachi is the finest that Japan Akiba has to offer.

Hidden Shotgun:
An incredible innovation of steampunk technology, this weapon combines the stopping power of a deer slug-loaded shotgun with the concealability of wrist pistols.
The shotgun can puncture thick beast hide, but barely dent armor.
The shotgun takes considerable time to reload after a blast (about 5 seconds if Valentina isn't distracted). Coupled with its relative non-lethality, this restricts its usefulness to blasting an opponent back to get some more breathing room.

Healing Blood of the Argent Wolf:
Valentina is equipped with five syringes, each of which contains enough for two doses of Healing Blood of the Argent Wolf. These syringes can be used to recover from most types of injuries or other status effects. However, they are in limited supply, so should be used only in the direst of emergencies. The Healing Blood heals less and less with each subsequent usage, with the first use restoring one to full health while the fifth begins leaving visible scars, and lastly the tenth only rapidly scabs over wounds.

"The Healing Blood flows through your veins, knitting together broken flesh, restoring equilibrium. But even then, the blood has limits."

Skills, spells and abilities:

Deathmatch Circle:
This describes the typical movement stance of strafing, taught to all beast hunters. The "target" is the center of a circle, along which the hunter moves. Different circles determine different attacks.
To dodge, hunters perform flips, rolls, or quick-steps, while maintaining the Deathmatch Circle.
In accordance to this technique, she has incredible endurance and agility, allowing her to keep up with the much faster and stronger beasts that she hunts.

"The way of the hunter is attrition."

Beasthunter Scythe Moveset:
The Beasthunter Scythe is focused on punishing slashes designed to puncture a beast's thick hide, inflicting bleeding wounds. At closer range, it is capable of slicing off limbs.
She can perform a power strike or strike multiple (weaker) times.
At long range, she will use a one handed style for huge, sweeping attacks. As the range closes, she switches to a two-handed style for more precise strikes.

Iaijutsu Backdraw:
This is the one technique used with her odachi. When the distance is right, she can draw her odachi and slash in one fluid movement before sheathing it again. She has to resheath the blade in order to strike again using this technique.

Beastkin Regeneration:
After a time of hunting beasts, hunters will find that drawing blood causes his own injuries to heal, his own exhaustion to fade. However, this effect only comes into play if the hunter is extremely aggressive and retaliates upon being struck.

Sexy and confident, cool and calculating, Valentina's composed demeanor is the epitome of a true hunter of beasts.
In regards to beast hunting, she believes the monstrosities are to be put out of their misery, not slain in anger. Additionally, she believes in pragmatism over "useless displays of bravery."

"Live and you can kill the beast another day. Die and who will clean up the rest?"

History (optional): Valentina is the wife of Vasily Jarishnikov. Together, they are the legendary "Beast Hunting Couple of the Snowy Mountain."
Valentina and Vasily are both rarely seen though, since they are usually off in grand adventures.

< Message edited by Starflame13 -- 3/14/2020 17:07:14 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 27
1/19/2020 16:02:35   
How We Roll Winner

Oof! I didn't know Discord links expire over time. Here is a working link to Valentina's appearance.

AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 28
3/14/2020 13:29:33   
How We Roll Winner

So, even without balancing, this character runs into copyright issues. I understand that you state it's inspired from Control, but every single move here is an exact copy of a move the protagonist, Jesse Faden, in the games uses - and the CB-32 is a pretty close parallel to her gun as well. The RP forum rules states:


Originality does create interesting twists and turns, and we try to accommodate your imagination. This in mind, keep your plot lines and references as original as possible. The use of copyrighted material outside of AE games is not allowed on these boards. Inspiration can strike from any source, but copyright infringement will have serious consequences.

In this case, you may create a new character that pulls from one or two similar ability concepts and then enhance them with you own unique twists/abilities/weapons, but this character by itself is too close to Jesse Faden to be considered a unique creation at this time.

For some general feedback with how the abilities are structured, the current recharge for Kinetic Energy is way too fast. I've recommended that people consider using Dungeons & Dragons timing when shaping abilities - which allows for one major action and 1-2 minor actions within 6 seconds. This character can fully recharge from zero energy in 8 seconds. At the absolute fastest, you shouldn't be recovering anything more than a third of your energy per post (meaning 2 bars every 6 seconds), and I would likely decrease this further given the strength of abilities. If you want a good example of a sliding recharge scale, check out Kellehndros's 2020 WPC character, Ebriva.

If you have specific questions about abilities you may voice them either here or in the Discord channel, but this character as written is not allowed.

Source Setting: Mechquest (sort of)

Name: Defyance Monikage, aka "Support from the Shadows"
Age Range: 20s-30s
Race (Pure or halfbreed only): Human
Element: Wind

Appearance (Build, hair, skin, clothes...):
Graceful and willowy, with flowing wavy hair the color of light mauve streaked with black, and pleasant, beautiful features that can transition from soft and kind to hard and unforgiving in an instant. No one knows why she wears glasses, it's not like she actually needs them, though they do serve to accentuate rather than detract from her beauty.

She wears a blazer with form-fitting jeans and heeled boots. Over this attire, she wears a fashionable white long coat suited for lab work, protection from the rain, and some protection from swords and bullets.

Belongings and Equipment:

The CB-32, or the Cubetech pistol, is Defyance's primary weapon.

"After a raid on the Toxicity, aided by four bounty hunters from the guild [NAMES REDACTED], the [REDACTED] Project obtained the blueprints to the Cyborg Knights' Cubetech. Cubetech is an incredible innovation that allows for quick manufacture, modification, and repair of weapons and armor, using pieces of 'cubes' and simply attaching them together." --- Log 3 Section 2

As a Cubetech weapon, it has an odd, abstract design, resembling many cubes held together by an unknown force. It seems to be constantly assembling and reassembling itself when not in a direct line of sight. The pistol is indestructible, although its light weight makes it impracticable as a melee weapon. If it were to be knocked out of Defyance's hand, it will dematerialize temporarily and rematerialize again shortly, still in her hand.

The pistol holds 12 rounds and would be considered a semi-automatic pistol. The pistol does not use physical ammunition in the traditional sense. Instead of reloading once all the bullets are used up, Defyance must wait for about 3 seconds before the pistol rapidly regenerates its ammo. The bullets are of an unknown material, poetically referred to as "pure wind," which travel about as fast as a baseball pitch (45 m/s, or 100 mph). Gunshot wounds from the CB-32 are similar to those of hollow-point bullets, although no debris is left behind in said wound.

Bullets that go through things penetrate armor, but do less damage. Conversely, bullets that do not go through things expand and do more damage, but are more easily stopped by armor. A hollow point bullet is designed to "flatten" on impact and the energy will be transferred quickly once it hits the target. --- Reddit

Skills, spells and abilities:

General physical stats:
Defyance isn't exactly the most athletic person in the world, preferring to use tools and her mind rather than brute force. However, she has remarkably high endurance, allowing her to keep pace with and continually nip at the heels of extraordinarily strong foes until they collapse. She has had proficient small arms training, particularly with pistols and knives. She is an excellent shot, though not supernaturally so compared to master marksmen such as Sariel Shadowlight, being able to reliably place shots around the bullseye of a target.

Deathless Mountain Kinetic Module:
As part of Project [REDACTED], the Deathless Mountain Kinetic Module simulates the abilities of Rukan Shikura's supernatural Mark. Using any of the Kinetic Module's abilities consumes energy, which is constantly regenerated. Different abilities and their usages consume varying amounts of energy, which limits the number of actions Defyance can take with the Kinetic Module.

The energy reserve of the Kinetic Module is quantifiable and is known instinctively to the user of the Module. When viewed by a tech support using Yulan's Eye of Vigilance or other HUD interfaces, it is visually represented by a bar exactly 8 inches long. Use of the energy is consumed in sections of this bar. The energy bar regenerates linearly at a rate of 2 inches per second. The energy bar does not start regenerating until a use of an ability has concluded.

The Kinetic Module provides the following ablities.

---Dash---: Modelled after the "Reduced Earth" aspect of the Mark, Dash introduces a brief burst of speed, strong enough that the displacement of air creates a temporary vacuum. The distance covered by Dash is about 5 feet. If there is an obstacle obstructing her path of movement, the force of the ability can blast through said obstacle. If such an obstacle cannot be destroyed, Dash simply stops abruptly in front of it. Dashing into opponents can knock them back but is not recommended.
A single Dash consumes 1 inch of energy.

---Levitation---: Modelled after the "Heaven" aspect of the Mark. For about half a minute, Defyance can float off the ground to an elevation at about the second floor of a house, with respect to her launching point. She can manually control her elevation during this time frame, although she cannot exceed the height limit. Once this time limit has passed, she will slowly but steadily drift back down to the ground. While levitating, she drifts at walking speed and must rely on the Dash ability to maneuver quickly. Most notably, unlike the other abilities, Levitation does not consume energy, but rather is limited only by the time.

---Grip---: Modelled after the "Heaven" aspect of the Mark. It is an extremely rudimentary form of telekinesis, allowing her to pull objects toward her and then launch them at high speeds. She can only hold and launch one object at a time, although she can do so in rapid succession, as long as she has enough energy reserves. Heavy and large objects require more energy, and similarly, are launched at slower speeds. While "holding" an object, it floats near her hand, allowing her to grip excessively large and heavy objects. Holding an object will not allow her energy to regenerate.
The ability is somewhat unstable. If she tries to use the Grip to pull something very large toward her (like the support beam of a room), it will just rip off a small chunk instead. It is also quite inaccurate, as she cannot precisely target objects, i.e. she cannot disarm opponents as the Grip field will attempt to grab the entire opponent. It appears the smallest object it can grip must be at least palm sized (i.e. smartphone, grenade, etc.)
The ability can only grab nonliving, solid things. She can snatch a rocket out of midair to launch back, but cannot stop a pure fireball.
A single Grip consumes 1/2 inch of energy for the smallest sized object, and linearly grows bigger as mass increases. A single Grip for something with the mass or size of a generator would consume about 2.5 inches. Energy is not consumed by the launch.

---Grip - Palm---: At this point in her life, Defyance is still training in qigong basics, so she makes use of this ability to supplement. In close quarters combat, she can deal powerful, concussive blows with her palm. This ability consumes 1/2 inch of energy per use.

---Grip - Shield---: The Kinetic Module levitates many small chunks of the ground or nearby debris to form a rudimentary shield around her. It is useful for blocking projectiles, but not so much for melee attacks. As long as her shield is up, her energy reserves will not regenerate, and her mobility is limited to the ground; in addition, she cannot return fire or use any other powers without dropping the shield, restricting its usefulness to allowing her to get to cover.
This ability consumes 1.5 inches of energy per use.

Shy and reserved in social situations, but cold and deadly serious on the field.
She does not believe in excessive force, and will be unlikely to finish off a downed opponent.

History (optional):
In modern times, Defyance Monikage is primarily Rukan Shikura's mysterious partner and trusted backup in Operation Nightfighter alongside her best friend Sapphire Slipstream, although she has been known to provide support for operatives such as Dao Yulan and Vasily Jarishnikov. Although she usually sits in tech support in the background, she is a capable field operative who has undertaken many dangerous missions on her own.

Design notes:
Inspired directly by Remedy's Control.

< Message edited by Starflame13 -- 3/14/2020 17:10:16 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 29
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