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1/7/2011 9:06:19   
The Bansheebot
Member
 

You can view all of my short stories' links in this thread. Feel free to comment/critique/hate/whatever.
I should be updating this...fairly regularly.

I Imagine
Post #: 1
1/12/2011 15:20:31   
Fleur Du Mal
Member

Hiya!

I liked your short story quite a bit for its style and minimalism. =) Usually, I'd suggest adding more description to the story as you didn't have much of that, but in a way I can see this particular theme working quite well even without it as having next to no description ties the whole thing inside the character's head.

What I was hoping to see was some sort of clue on why the character felt as (s)he did. His/her parents seemed to be present, the siblings were outgoing, but why was (s)he feeling as much of an outsider? There's no light given on that, and that is a factor that makes it more difficult to get inside the character's head and really understand, really feel for him/her.

DF  Post #: 2
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