RE: Criticism of A path to madness (Full Version)

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Mortarion -> RE: Criticism of A path to madness (11/19/2011 22:18:43)

Posted, sorry if it's a bit small, I'll continue with it tomorrow



Varen6398 -> RE: Criticism of A path to madness (11/20/2011 13:18:12)

quote:

Well what whe have here


It should be 'Well what do we have here?'

quote:

“Oh you are important, said Cruor, I thought you where a pig”


Should be '"Oh you are important," said Cruor, "I thought you were a pig."

quote:

in that whay you peasant


'in that way'

quote:

After that Mortarion wake up screaming


woke up screaming.

quote:

Said amrk before leaving through the door.



Mark, not amrk.

This story, with a bit of grammatical polishing could be great. I really want to know why he is now called Mortarion rather than Cruor.



Mortarion -> RE: Criticism of A path to madness (11/20/2011 13:19:47)

Oh you'll see soon enought



Varen6398 -> RE: Criticism of A path to madness (11/20/2011 13:23:32)

Now I feel worried.[:D]



Mortarion -> RE: Criticism of A path to madness (11/20/2011 13:24:57)

for Mortarion you mean [;)]



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/20/2011 15:44:37)

Added more to newest chapter, please comment



Helixi -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/20/2011 19:02:42)

There's so many spelling/grammar mistakes in this, but the story itself is sound. I'll be sweeping through with a harsh critique in the next few days, be aware.



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/20/2011 19:07:19)

Sorry, I try to do my best [:(][:(][:(]



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/20/2011 19:20:42)

A quick question Helixi, what do you think that are the weak and strong point story-wise?



Glais -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 4:37:40)

Interesting, so a break out. Good to have some buildup as to what went down with Malorum. If I remember right, he had something to do with SlugWrath, yes?
However, there's still many typos, but I know Helixi's good at that so I'll let her tackle those.



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 4:40:56)

Well I changed that, this is happening in the mid of Alteon's rebellion, and you'll see soon, it will invoke torture, and perphas cannibalism :3



Glais -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 4:42:10)

Ah, so is Malorum at least on SlugWrath's side or he just has his own small kingdom?

Cannibalism? o_O That's gonna be weird.
Also how soon's the
spoiler:

Demon
come in.
Fixed homie.



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 4:48:45)

It's pot the K ark, but you'll see a teaser soon, and Glais, USE SPOILER TAGS!!!!!



Glais -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 4:50:57)

K Arc? Confuseded mayne. Teasers are good though, I like those.



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 4:55:08)

K ark= Kathool ark



Glais -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 4:57:27)

Ah gotcha, now Trials and Havoc will make more sense.
spoiler:

I wonder how the Demon will tie into that, because they seem so....different.



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 5:00:27)

Yes definitively, I hope Aizen is back soon, because if he can't finish were Mortarion appears I'd need to improvise, oh you'll see soon how Kathool could control Mortarion, it involves the creation of a SA



Glais -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 5:02:18)

Ah yes, I remember that bit from Trials. Aizen never used it really though, save for one scene.



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 5:04:08)

Oh no, that SA isn't for Mortarion, it's for a certain CW out there ;)



Glais -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 5:05:14)

Ah so that's how he'll tie in.
So what of that SA in trials? Is it one and the same?

Anyhow, adding that ChaosWeaver will help expand the cast which is good, since at the moment we haven't received a "goal" so to speak.



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 5:08:18)

The CW is of other story, and this ark is a racconto, there will be goals soon. And what you saw in trials isn't a SA by normal standards



Glais -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 5:13:31)

Well I knew that, but I have not read this other story you see xP
Hm, so like a normal spirit then?



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 11:35:01)

No, it's different, you'll see it eventually



Varen6398 -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 11:41:22)

I love how this is unfolding. Mortarion told me a little but about his story, even if he didn't realise it. I think I will go check out the art of Mortarion (by LK) in a minute.



Mortarion -> RE: Mortarion's collection of tomes (11/21/2011 11:43:14)

Enjoy ;)



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