(DF) Gavon Felarian: A Biography

(DF) Gavon Felarian: A Biography (Full Version)

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3 Vandoren -> (DF) Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 11:11:31)
Comments go here. I gladly accept all of your criticism. Here is the link to the story: BAM! Thank you! Added the (DF) tag to your title. ~Helixi

Raucheisen -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 13:04:11)
Wow....after reading this epic saga artful crafted by a obvious future novelist, Necro Berserk it truly understood how his inner alter ego felt and acted. With its accelerated rhythm, relentless flow of action, drama and pure raw emotion it really touched my heart ....the way Gavon Felarian went to end evil and what he went to just to try it what he sacrificed to do it....just purely amazing an outstanding story for any fan of any AE games or who enjoy good fiction, I'm hoping theirs a part two untell than, eagerly awaiting... soulhunter111

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 13:06:25)
Thank you, Hunter! Have you already read all of it? (Because, that's a lot!) I really do appreciate your comment! Thank you!

Crucifixio -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 17:06:29)
I like it , the way you express things , but just some things... try not to use the same words over and over again , any other word that can relate to that one will make the reader be more interested, and inmerse yourself in the story , remember, this is your alter ego , so when you write about it , try to think , try to feel as if you where in that moment there, could make even more lively and amazing the story :P

bsteiny16 -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 17:06:37)
Nice job Necro. And I'm in it! :D

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 17:10:56)
Here ya' go guys! Vae'njaece = D1F3Forum. (He actually runs the Chaos Weaver Nation, it's a clan, go check it out.) Nesanel = bsteiny16 (My personal advisor, and friend.) Soon to come ????? = Crucifixio (Watch out for this one, he's coming soon... Very soon...)

bsteiny16 -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 18:11:47)
Awesome. I'll PM you some stuff.

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 18:15:31)
OK, then.

bsteiny16 -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 18:23:36)
Edited the post. I'm eating dinner, and will get back to you in the next 10 minutes. Edit: How's that? #2

bsteiny16 -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 18:37:08)
Okay......

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 19:00:03)
New post is up! Cliff hangers!

bsteiny16 -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 19:02:16)
Great so far. Okay, so could you give everybody a hint of the next part of the story? I NEED to tell someone about this. It's killing me!!!!!!!

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 19:09:18)
Absolutely not. No hints. Only cliff hangers. They shall find it out...

bsteiny16 -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/7/2011 19:12:42)
Found a mistake. You put that my character had both his weapons on his right side of him in the beginning of the story when I'm introduced. Maybe you should change that.

D1F3Forum -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 1:06:38)
@Necro: U made me soo happy!!!! [:D] I can't believ u actually included Spyte!!! Anyway, I love how this story is coing along. My only suggestions r make sure u correct the errors in grammar and use more words and words in the correct place... I'm guessing this might be the part that a certain "V" man comes into play??? I guess ill just have to wait and see though...[:(]

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 9:33:19)
OH, NO! I forgot... While you where saying: "Are you still doing that 'Muahahahhaaa!!!!' thing?" And then I said that I was? I wasn't. Hmmmm..... I might have to edit some stuff... Came up with an easy fix. Re-read the entire latest post. Might leave me a little in the bad graces of the Chaos Weavers. But whatever, what do I care about them? You may not be able to quite figure out what had happened, because I didn't describe it well. But here: spoiler: Gavon blew up the gate, the one separating the CW Nation, and Ravenloss. I know it's is a little hard to figure out, but a came up with it on the spot so...

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 9:59:16)
There is no delete button so I must settle with editing it to this. [:D]

extreme wizard -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 11:04:11)
It's really, really good. But is Gaven still blind? If not, when did he get healed? I don't think you said that in the story.

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 11:09:56)
The blinding was only a temporary thing. (Yes it is possible.) He was only blinded for a duration, because of the high amount of light. He recovered in, umm... Oh, yah, during that last bed rest there... I guess I will edit it, making it more clear... I fixed it.

extreme wizard -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 11:14:28)
Ah, ok. Temporary blindess makes sense since he had been without light for so long.

D1F3Forum -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 12:07:07)
I still like the story, but when Gavon says, "Thank you, Vaal..." it's rly random and confusing. No one would normally think anything of it without Vae'n explaining that they r holding off Vaal. And u never rly see that Gavon has met Vaal so it comes out of no where. The whole last section confused me... Why is there this random kid? Why aren't Spyte and Nesanel helping and r they even there? What going on in the Nation? All these things except maybe the last one need to be answered...especially the 2nd one... Still a good story, but it could be better... Edit: nvm...I guess I didn't read it well...it still seems maybe a little rushed...

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 12:24:49)
I was a little rushed, I am sorry about that. Sometimes little things happen, out of the story text. You kind of have to piece it together yourself. Sorry about that.

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 13:14:49)
A new post is up! Check it out!

bsteiny16 -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 15:12:55)
Woohooo! I finally get my axe in the story!

3 Vandoren -> RE: Gavon Felarian: A Biography (7/8/2011 18:27:31)
It's up! Raises hands Check out the newest post! What could the rumbling be? The people who pay attention know.

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