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whackybeanz -> Star Blecch 2 (7/19/2012 14:23:38)
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Star Blecch 2!
Travel Map » Bizarre Flecks » 8: Star Blecch 2!
«Scene: Falerin's Domicile. Falerin appears as Fal.»
«You»: Good evening, Fal.
Falerin: Heya, «You». Just cutting down on the rogue Bookworm infestation. The master librarian is quite upset with them.
«You»: Aren't you the Master Librarian?
Falerin: Oh no. I own the library and I am the Loremaster, but I simply do not have the time to handle a Librarian's tasks. So I delegate.
«You»: So who IS the master librarian?
Falerin: Annelidus is his name.
«You»: Annelidus?
Falerin: Aye, a bookworm of singular talent.
«You»: Your library is being looked after by a bookworm? Isn't that a bit like leaving a fox to look after your hen house?
Falerin: Not at all. Not all bookworms consume willy-nilly, you know. They are preeminent scholars in their own right. Annelidus is foremost among them.
«You»: Thus the fact that he is upset by rogue bookworms.
Falerin: Precisely, and speaking of which...«You»: As fun as it is to engage in pest control with you again, I assume there was a reason I was sent for?
Falerin: Yes, but my other fragments are engaged elsewhere.
Falerin: Oh, speaking of Webb. Were we able to discover anything?
«Kid Falerin enters.»
Kid Falerin: There is some kind of very strong energy masking him, and it is not his own. Oddly enough it seems like Eldron is involved.
«Falerin Lanfiré enters.»
«You»: Lanfiré?
Falerin Lanfiré: Not quite. Lanfiré is elsewhere. I have spoken to Eldron. It is quite clear something else is going on here. He is no more informed of the location of Dhows's Lackey than we are.
«You»: If it seems like Eldron, and he doesn't know anything about it, maybe it's an analog?
Falerin: Hmm... Perhaps. Eldron, like most powers, tends to merge with his analogs and so has very few.
Kid Falerin: Some still exist, though. A few are strong enough to persist.
Falerin Lanfiré: Or radically different enough.
«You»: Dhows seemed very set on making an analog of Fal. Is it possible he did something similar to Eldron as well?
«Muscle Falerin and Teen Falerin enter.»
Muscle Falerin: Hi there, «You», old buddy.
Teen Falerin: Without Eldron being aware of it?
Falerin Lanfiré: Not likely.
«Falerin the Loremaster enters.»
Falerin: Ah, «You», you have arrived. Wonderful. Let me pull myself together.
«The fragments combine.»
Falerin: I see my other fragments have not been as successful as I have...
«You»: You have a lead?
Falerin: I have. What can you tell me about TDRs?
«You»: Transdimensional Realities? More than I wish I knew. They're like parallel worlds but where some very fundamental change happened, right?
Falerin: In essence, correct. Though I have yet to figure out what Dhows would want with a TDR and what it has to do with the former villain Xitra Regerik.
«You»: Wait, what? Xitra Regerik? He's involved in this?
Falerin: I am not sure how... but yes. Or at the very least his world is. I sought Ryuusei for some answers, as he spent some time there and might have insight...
Falerin: Unfortunately, Gaiden says his father is away.
«You»: Away? So go to him. Surely there is no place he could go that you cannot?
Falerin: Can and should are different things. Gaiden reports that Ryuusei has been plagued by terrible dreams ever since Cartwright's abrupt disappearance and they have escalated.
«You»: Oh my.
Falerin: So he is seeking some sort of guidance. I suspect Ryuusei's problem may be ours soon enough, but at the moment we have enough balls in the air to start a jugglers' troupe.
«You»: An apt metaphor. So... wait. Xitra Regerik's world... The Flecks? This can't be a coincidence.
Falerin: Pardon?
«You»: During the first incident with the Flecks and the quest to rescue Gaiden Cartwright.
«You»: Warlic and I ended up trapped in a strange TDR; at the time it seemed entirely out place, but...
Falerin: No, I agree. It is far too coincidental to be an actual coincidence. How did you end up in this TDR?
«You»: A device Warlic was working on transported me there...
Falerin: Ah, then it seems we are off to see the wizard.
«Scene fades. New Scene: Warlic's shop, wherein Warlic is brewing something in a cauldron.»
«You»: ... So you see, we need to return to that TDR if we are to find Ardendor and stop Dhows.
Warlic: Well, I can certainly get you in. I trust, Loremaster, that you can get back out again?
Falerin: Once I have the ORL things, I can come and go as I wish. ... Assuming there are no incidents.
«You»: Which there almost certainly will be. What's an ORL?
Falerin: Omniversal Reality Locator. Think an address or map coordinates but on an omniversal scale.
«You»: What about magic? It worked in the TDR before because of Warlic, but without him there...
Falerin: Given as we will be out of Lorian ambit, I can substitute myself for the mana of Lore readily enough... your magic should work as you expect.
«You»: So you will be granting my spells to me as if I were your priest? Somehow I am less than reassured.
Falerin: Should I be insulted?
«You»: Well, you do tend to gravitate toward... high stress situations.
Falerin: Point taken. Are you ready?
I need more time... (Returns you to Battleon)
As ready as I ever will be! (Continues below)
«Scene: The Starship Centerprise flies through space.»
Mr. Slock: MMM, I do not think our Basic Reality Augmenter Neuroelectrical Engine, revision M, or the M. B.R.A.N.E. is going to hold, captain...
Mr. Slock: We simply do not have the imagination that E has; especially with E's help.
Captain Turk: I have been strung along by enough theories to start my own yarn factory, Slock, I need answers! Bridge to Snotty...
Commander Snott: Snott here, captain.
Captain Turk: Let's not start that again, Snotty. I need more power to the M. B.R.A.N.E.
Commander Snott: The Unobtanium Chrysalis is already fragmenting and emitting light, captain. If I push things any farther the whole thing is gonna glow.
Captain Turk: Is that dangerous?
Commander Snott: Well, no, not really.
Captain Turk: Then for gosh sake, do it, man!
«The Centerprise shakes.»
Commander Snott: It's no good, captain, even with that device we cannae hold the Pilot's Logistical Operating Trajectory together. We are way off course...
Captain Turk: No excuse, Mister Snott. Get the P.L.O.T. together... there is no time for your flat bread to be quitting.
Commander Snott: Flat bread to quit, captain? I think the encounter with that new E has fried your brain.
Falerin: A Naan c'est Quitter? I see what you did there...
Mr. Slock: Strange as the Charm of this conversation might be I believe our time is Up and it is time to get on Top of things.
Captain Turk: Everyone has their quirks, Slock.
Mr. Slock: Everyone has their fermions as well, captain. How is that relevant? We need to get Down to business and get to the Bottom of things.
Agent Hemd Rojo: Transport Room 3, this is Rojo, to Bridge...
Captain Turk: Go ahead, Hemd.
Agent Hemd Rojo: Another E has just arrived, captain, and he is with a strange human who apparently knew my cousin Noem bar Fhiev.
«Scene: Transport Room 3.»
«You»: Captain Turk, this is «You», I need you and Slock to get down to Transport Room 3 immediately! We have some business to attend to.
Agent Hemd Rojo: Looks like something must've been caught in the transporter beam!2 BATTLES
Full Heal
2 BATTLES
Full Heal
See below for monster list «Captain Turk and Mr. Slock enter.»
«You»: Captain Turk, this is...
Captain Turk: ... E. You have a lot of nerve showing here! Why have you changed back into the impostor's clothing?
Falerin: Uh...
«You»: That just means we are clearly in the right place. This is not E, this is Falerin.
Captain Turk: Ah, so it IS the impostor!
«You»: No...
Agent Hemd Rojo: The E impostor was called Falerin Ardendor, but he told us to call him Ardendor...
Falerin: Well, that is my name, too... but you can call me Falerin.
«You»: Listen, I can explain...
(simultaneously) Mr. Slock: Intriguing... Captain Turk: Someone had better start; none of this makes any sense whatsoever.
«Scene fades to darkness.»
Several hours later...
«Scene: Transport Room 3.»
«You»: So you see, the Loremaster needs to get rid of Ardendor as well.
Falerin: And we might be able to handle your problem with my lookalike and his companion as well.
Mr. Slock: Easier said than done. Unfortunately, we just do not have the power, or imagination, to use the M. B.R.A.N.E. to breach the barrier.
«You»: M. B.R.A.N.E.?
Falerin: You have access to an M. B.R.A.N.E.? Well, I would prefer a Z. B.R.A.N.E., but one works with what one can get... I can get you across the barrier into the E Continuum.
Falerin: Point me to engineering...
Falerin: In the meantime, «You», those lobsters are coming back... I recommend lemon and butter.2 BATTLES
Full Heal
2 BATTLES
Full Heal
See below for monster list «Scene: Engineering.»
Falerin: Here goes nothing.
«The Centerprise passes into the E Continuum.»
Falerin: Well, I was able to hold us together...
«You»: ... Barely...
Falerin: As I was saying... I was able to hold us together, but now we need to find Ardendor and my analog. Cmdr. Snott has taken a sample of my deinetic material to adjust your long range scanners.
Falerin: If you feed the output from the scandishire array back across your main dejector dish and filter the result through a can of peas... you may be able to track my analog that way.
«You»: Why not just pull it out?
Captain Turk: Far to early in this episode to pull it out, «You»
Falerin: Pull it out?
Captain Turk: Don't ask...
«You»: It ruins the mystique.
Falerin: Oh my. More incoming...
«You»: Does it ever end?
Falerin: It hasn't for ten years now, «You». Why would it start now?2 BATTLES
Full Heal
2 BATTLES
Full Heal
See below for monster list Somewhere in the E Continuum...
«Scene: The Centerprise is caught in the tractor ink of a giant squid.»
Agent Hemd Rojo: Zhar she blows...
«Scene zooms in on the giant squid's eye, in which Eldron (E), Falerin (E), and Ardendor can be seen.»
Falerin: A ship shaped like a giant squid... My analog and his associates clearly read the right sort of fiction.
Commander Snott: Snott to bridge, the Doom Squid has us in its tractor ink, captain. It is going to draw us into its mouth of madness.
«Scene shifts to the eye of the squid.»
E (Eldron): In your haste... ur... you did not consider just what you would do if you caught us, did you...
E (Falerin): They never do. And they are left in a lurch, and all they can do is call dag on it.
«Scene shifts to the Centerprise.»
Falerin: Oh... mother of pus.
«You»: Falerin!?
Falerin: Bast...
«You»: Falerin!?
Falerin: What? Bast is a colleague of mine from the...
Captain Turk: As interesting as your interplay is, gentleman, if we are going to escape from this, we really do need to put our heads together.
Captain Turk: I do not look forward to being another statistic in the most ancient track of all.
«Scene: Back in Engineering.»
Falerin: Quite, we need to get Ardendor so we can go after The Evil Clergyman, before I get astrophobic. This situation is Nharly.
«You»: You mean gnarly?
Falerin: No.
«Falerin raises his staff, which begins to glow.»
Falerin: You have failed "The Last Test," Ardendor. Shields down now...
«You»: Transporter room, three to beam up...
«Scene: Transport Room 3.»
Ardendor: There you are. Man, I was wondering if you would ever get here.
«You»: ...
Ardendor: I also wondered if it would be you or the Father that found me first.
Falerin: We have no time for conversation. You know why we are here...
Ardendor: I do, and if you think I am gonna go along peacefully, you are nuts.
E (Eldron): He may know why you are here, E.
E (Falerin): E and I are less than certain, isn't that right, E?
E (Eldron: Indeed, you seem to be stepping on toes.
«You»: Who are these yo-yo knock-offs? What exactly is an E?
Falerin: Their euphemism for a deity, I imagine.
Mr. Slock: Er... I would not push their buttons if I were you, «You».
Captain Turk: The E are capable of feats of such unexplainable grandeur that even our top scientist's most elaborate handwaving disguise cannot disguise the fact that it is magic.
E (Falerin): Magic? As if we would be so gauche.
E (Eldron): Completely outside of the local paradigm...
Agent Hemd Rojo: Actually, E stands for Extradimensional Entity. Therefore, it correctly applies to all of you, including «You».
E (Eldron): How dare you interrupt?
Agent Hemd Rojo: Oh no... I was just trying to... that is... I did not mean to...
«Hemd Rojo disintegrates.»
E (Eldron): They never learn.
E (Falerin): You think they would realize it was always the one that...
«You»: I see what you meant about not pushing buttons, Captain...
E (Eldron): Oh yes... It is far too late; I feel my buttons have already been depressed. What about you, E?
E (Falerin): Absolutely. First an impostor of myself shows up with a strange shadow, and now another impostor shows up with an mouthy venturer from another TDR...
E (Falerin): Who just had the audacity to interrupt me after we... hmmm... hmm...
E (Falerin): I wonder how the wayfarer would look in a red shirt...
E (Eldron): That's enough to push anyone's buttons. I think perhaps a show of solidarity is in order.
Falerin: The games end. You claim sovereignty over this TDR? Fine, we will leave without incident. The alternative will be very unpleasant.
«You»: For you.
Ardendor: That seemed almost like a threat, guys. I think he was threatening you.
«You»: Shut your mouth, traitor.
Ardendor: Traitor? Traitor?! I was never your ally. How could I betray you?
«You»: Have you done it yet?
«Falerin raises his staff and fires a beam of energy at Ardendor.»
Falerin: I have restricted his access to most of my power. Beat him into submission and I will handle these... What was it you called them?
Falerin: Ah, yes... yo-yos. Strange you would know so Terran a reference... I think I am having a bad effect on you.
«You»: You think?!
Falerin: Eldron, if you are listening, I could use some assistance.«You»: I'd been waiting to do that for years.
Ardendor: But I have not existed that long...
«You»: So?
«The two E's enter.»
Falerin: Right on cue. Time to say goodnight, Gracie.
Ardendor: Good night, Gracie.
Falerin (E): You cannot do this, usurpers...
Eldron (E): What authority have you...
Eldron: I need to shut my mouth...
Eldron (E): ...
Falerin: You are our analogs. That alone gives us authority.
Eldron: Besides, you are invaders here, too. We are merely cleaning your mess.
Eldron: This won't bring godwar...
Falerin: Trust me. I am very sure about godwar. I am here to stop one.
«You»: Time, Falerin.
Falerin: Quite right, Reality wants us to re-cohere. So be it.
«Eldron (E) is absorbed by Eldron and Falerin (E) and Ardendor are absorbed by Falerin.»
Falerin: *belch*
Eldron: Excuse you...
«You»: After a meal like that, I think anyone could forgive some indigestion...
«You»: Mr. Slock, Captain Turk, you will not be having any trouble with the E Continuum for a while. Shall we go, gents?
«The Gods and «You» exit.»
Captain Turk: I love a happy ending...
Mr. Slock: Fascinating. There is still one problem, however, captain.
Captain Turk: What's that, Slock?
Mr. Slock: How do we get back to normal space without Falerin here?
Captain Turk: ...
Captain Turk: D'oh...
«Scene: A dark forest in Regeirk's reality. Falerin is Muscle Falerin.»
Falerin: Seems we were right about him being up to no good here.
«You»: Dhows's shadow must have corrupted this world for a very long time for it to be so different from ours.
Falerin: It's not so different...
«You»: How can you say that? It was enslaved by an evil necromancer.
Falerin: Who was a twisted mirror of our own Artix called Xitra Regeirk. More than one analog of Krieger has adopted that feathery gnome.
«You»: What?
«Muscle Falerin transforms back into Loremaster Falerin.»
Falerin: It's not important now...
Falerin: A fragment of Dhows appears to have been trapped here. It is not just me that has been gathering my pieces. He seems to have a piece of the Flecks as well.
«You»: That could be a problem...
«Scene: Deep Limbo.»
Dhows: Created born of creation be reborn of uncreation. I baptize thee in my name... he he he.
«Maxwell grows wings.»
Atlas: I think I am gonna like this...
«Scene zooms in on his eye. Scene fades.»
Bizarre Flecks III pt. 1
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Write-up by Archmagus Orodalf.
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Monster lists thanks to In Media Res.
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