A Collection of Stories and Poems Dicussion


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A Collection of Stories and Poems Dicussion

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11/3/2014 16:55:15

Renn Shadowheart
Member

A Collection of Stories and Poems

< Message edited by Renn Shadowheart -- 7/15/2015 13:02:01 >

AQW

Epic

Post #: 1

12/3/2014 16:50:18

Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!

The first thing I have to say is that I think you should maybe lengthen your chapters. None of them have really exceeded 3 paragraphs so far (excluding dialogue).

You're writing style is pretty good, not a lot of grammatical errors I noticed, but it did seem a tad rushed. To add to that, I think you might be better adding some backstory; it's rather random and vague. You haven't described who any of the characters really are.

I'm sorry if I came off as blunt, it's some good writing, I just think it could do with some more focus.

Post #: 2

12/5/2014 17:24:09

Kokujoe
Moderator

I must say it has quite an intriguing plot. But as @Amon has already (so honestly) pointed out, it did felt a bit abrupt at times. I'd like to see you work on the character sketches to make them more believable. Also choose your words carefully for it will blow life into your characters. Thanks for the nice short read, hope you have a wonderful day ahead.

~Kokujoe ^____^b

Post #: 3

Page: [1]

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