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Poetry ~Formulaic~ C&C

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5/31/2010 19:28:32   
Xplayer
Roaming the Web


 Poetry Thread.

Although I far prefer prose, my creative writing teacher forced required us to write poetry for her class. Although I was initially reluctant, I came to enjoy it, and I started writing poetry on my own. I was often criticized by my teacher (who hated rhyme and meter) that my poetry was too "regular." Thus, I wrote the poem Formulaic to illustrate that even an art like poetry can follow a specific formula. Since my style is "Formulaic" I put it as the title of my poetry collection.

Poems
Formulaic. While this isn't the first poem I wrote, I put it at the beginning since it outlines my style of poetry. I also love math and science, so I tried to incorporate mathematical terminology into the poem.
Weathering the Storm. This poem is based upon my experiences on an ocean kayaking trip in Maine as a Boy Scout.
The Theory of Relativity. This is the first poem I wrote for class. The assignment was to make an autobiographical poem, and I turned it into a perspective poem.
Fuel for the Fire. I wrote this poem on a camping trip, and it served as my "death poem" for class. Keep in mind that it is fairly graphic and can be interpreted multiple ways.
The Pianist. I wrote this poem as part of my final exam. For the record, I'm a pianist in real life. This is in no way affiliated with the film of the same name.
Memorial Day. I wrote this poem on 5/30/10. It is somewhat based upon a true story, but the events are slightly altered.

I hope you enjoy my poems.

Edit: Typo :(

< Message edited by Xplayer1 -- 6/1/2010 13:05:22 >
AQ AQW  Post #: 1
5/31/2010 21:45:20   
Remington
Member

i disagree with your teacher, your rhyming poetry helps better convey an emotion. this is just my opinion though, and note that i am no poet. poetry is also meant to be read aloud, and i feel that rhyming makes it more pleasing to the ears. i out of all those poems, formulaic was my least favorite. i thought all of them were very good though. keep up the work, i would like to see more.

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AQ  Post #: 2
6/1/2010 5:02:14   
Mistermafio
Member

If there is one thing I cannot stand it is elitsts who claim that rhyme and meter by definition make poetry bad. Though the same thing can be said for people who claim the opposite. Poetry, by definition, cannot be bad style-wise unless you choose to write in a specific style and mess that up. And even then it is not a crime. Poetry is about expressing thought, conveying a feeling or telling a story through words. Rhyme and meter are tools that a poet can choose to use or not to use, and just like musical instruments are tools for musicians, some choose to use one combination, in one style. While others choose another combination in an even diffrent style.

That rant being over, I like the style you use. Your rhyme doesn't come over as overly forced, which is quite a skill to have when committing to a certain poetic form. I read Memorial Day, and I must say I really enjoyed it with two minor exceptions. The transistion from the *ock to the *eat rhyme was a little sudden. Something about the word heat just threw me out of the rhythem you I was in. Though that could just be a personal thing.

And the last rhyme, Italy, seems to come out of the blue a bit. As if solely put there to finish the rhyme. I'm pretty sure that isn't the case, but you might want to look into that just a little bit. Should you want to perfect this poem.

That's just my two cents, keep up the good work.
AQ  Post #: 3
6/1/2010 14:38:30   
Xplayer
Roaming the Web
quote:

i out of all those poems, formulaic was my least favorite.

Did you have a favorite? Anyway, I tend to agree with you. Formulaic and The Theory of Relativity are probably my least favorite.
quote:

The transistion from the *ock to the *eat rhyme was a little sudden. Something about the word heat just threw me out of the rhythem you I was in. Though that could just be a personal thing.

I'm not sure what you mean here. I tried to keep an A A B C C B form throughout.
quote:

And the last rhyme, Italy, seems to come out of the blue a bit. As if solely put there to finish the rhyme. I'm pretty sure that isn't the case, but you might want to look into that just a little bit. Should you want to perfect this poem.

I chose Italy since I wanted to tie the end of the poem into the "Memorial Day" theme, since Italy was one of the Axis powers in WWII. Although I suppose "Germany" would fit just as well. I'll think about it.

Thanks for the feedback!
AQ AQW  Post #: 4
6/21/2010 16:39:38   
Xplayer
Roaming the Web


 As I mentioned in my original post, I am a member of the Boy Scouts of America. Two days ago, I completed my ordeal for the Order of the Arrow, scouting's national honor society. Since I enjoy writing poems about my scouting experience, I wrote one about my Ordeal.

Reflections upon an Ordeal regarding an Arrow
AQ AQW  Post #: 5
11/4/2010 16:23:33   
Xplayer
Roaming the Web


 I haven't written poetry in a while, but during math class today, I decided to write one as the professor droned on about alternating series and whatnot. It's fairly self explanatory and certainly autobiographical (albeit with a little hyperbole).

An Author's Limits
AQ AQW  Post #: 6
11/4/2010 20:23:41   
Shreder
Member

A fellow Boy Scout and OA member! :P

Anyways, I read through your poetry, it's all pretty good. "An Author's Limits" was probably my favorite of all your poems, I love the the concept, and you executed it superbly.

DF MQ  Post #: 7
11/30/2010 14:15:51   
Xplayer
Roaming the Web


 Thanks Shreder! *gives secret hand shake*

Today was another rather boring math class, so I took to writing poetry again. This one is meant to reflect the abstractness of the class itself, so it's supposed to be random and relatively pointless. I'm interested to see how others interpret it.
An exercise in understanding
AQ AQW  Post #: 8
2/2/2011 12:16:26   
Xplayer
Roaming the Web


 I've been feeling like crap lately. After talking to a few people and praying, I believe that most of my troubles have been assuaged. I wrote a poem last night expressing my thought on my problems, and I ended up discovering how silly I was. Now I have something, which will no doubt need revision, that should allow me to get through a similar period of darkness.

In the Lurch
AQ AQW  Post #: 9
8/29/2011 23:16:53   
Xplayer
Roaming the Web


 I haven't written any poetry (or anything for that matter) in a LONG time, but while I was returning from vacation and passing through some small towns, I wrote this poem. I've always loved traveling, and one of the things I've noticed is that sometimes what you see out the window is more exciting than what's happening in your video game. That's why I wrote this poem, to show the beauty of the paths we take for granted.

Roads
AQ AQW  Post #: 10
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