"The Reasons why I Cry" Discussion


	Home \| Login \| Register \| Help \| Play

"The Reasons why I Cry" Discussion

Logged in as: Guest

Printable Version

All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> "The Reasons why I Cry" Discussion

Forum Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

6/7/2012 22:50:16

dogsrule100
Member

The reasons why I cry

There. Please do give it a chance.

Link repaired! -Faerdin

< Message edited by Faerdin -- 6/8/2012 1:31:56 >

AQW

Post #: 1

6/8/2012 1:38:28

Faerdin
Rune Knight

First, a few minor corrections.

quote:

Then like a waterfall It all came back.

Then, like a waterfall, it all came back.*

quote:

I happened to our city.

It happened to our city.*

quote:

... but I didn't do some thing wrong.

... but I didn't do something wrong.*

quote:

It was not a earthquake that made the ground shake.

It was not an earthquake that made the ground shake.*

A short but sweet beginning to what I feel will be a grand story. While simple and clean, I could feel a great deal of emotion in your words, and that impacted me quite a bit. My only advice would be to steer clear of words like "mean," which are often thought of as "dead words." Not to say their usage is always bad, but using them in excess could be problematic. Regardless, I found this an interesting read. Don't stop!

AQW

Epic

Post #: 2

6/8/2012 3:35:16

lordkaho
Creative!

Ooh, a war drama! Can you shed some light on what this is based on?

Post #: 3

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> "The Reasons why I Cry" Discussion

Jump to:

Icon Legend

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Forum Content Copyright © 2018 Artix Entertainment, LLC.

"AdventureQuest", "DragonFable", "MechQuest", "EpicDuel", "BattleOn.com", "AdventureQuest Worlds", "Artix Entertainment"
and all game character names are either trademarks or registered trademarks of Artix Entertainment, LLC. All rights are reserved.
PRIVACY POLICY