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The story of a mage Discussion

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5/16/2014 4:53:15   
Dragonic1
Member

Hello!In this thread,you can comment to my story "The story of a mage".If you like it,or no,just comment,if you have questions,ask,I will answer.
Anyway,you my find my story there: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=21680769



< Message edited by Dragonic1 -- 5/18/2014 9:26:17 >

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Post #: 1
5/17/2014 7:39:34   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 I am going to ask some questions about the story.

quote:


Somewhere in Lore,a long time ago,lived a little child,named Erik.

Could you be a bit more specific about the time and location? Where in Lore? How many years prior to start of Dragonfable?
quote:


No one wanted to be friend with him.

Was there any specific reason for this?

How did Erik know Warlic?
quote:


He just run away.Later he arrived in Surewould forest.

How much time passed between him running away and him arriving in Surewould?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 2
5/17/2014 8:56:15   
Dragonic1
Member

So,Erik lived, to be more exactly in a village near Falconreach.In a village without name.That story happened now 20 years ago,in dragonfable.
No one wanted to be friend with him,because his family was penniless.And he was always the mostly sucker,the littlest.Always he went outside,people says:"Who is this kid?He smells."Hello loser!"....

But once,he was sent too cut woods.And he meet with Warlic.He not judged him.Warlic offered his help.They became friends quickly.

When he saw that all the village burn,and the dragon,he run away.He don't looked back.Erik ran a long time,more exactly 5-10 minutes as fast as he can.This is a little bit less,but if you are scared,this seems to be more.


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Post #: 3
5/17/2014 11:27:37   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @Dragonic1: You should tell that in your story.

On another note Falconreach doesn't exist yet 20 years back. (Is that calculated from Book 3?)
I am also having difficulty seeing you and Warlic playing. What exactly did the two of you do?

Rewrite your chapter with the information what you told me and then I'll have a look at your grammar and spelling.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 4
5/18/2014 4:44:26   
Dragonic1
Member

Now I'm done.But when you read the prologue,don't forget that Erik is just 10 years old.
Post #: 5
5/18/2014 6:48:30   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 Tell me, did you play the Alexander Saga? Because the events in there play out around 200 years ago.

quote:


Somewhere in Lore,in a village near Falconreach now around 3 years,lived a little child,named Erik.He haven't brother or sister.Was just 10 years old.His social life was horrible.No one wanted to be friend with him cuz his family was penniless.Until a day....


Somewhere in Lore, in a village near Falconreach there lived a family with their son. The family was poor and so their social status was low. So low in fact that no one wanted to have anything to do with them. So was the fate of their 10-year-old son, Erik. From an early age Erik was shunned by the other villagers and children were forbidden to play with him so he had no friends until one day ....
quote:


he was sent to cut woods.<>This was a hard work for someone like him.For one who was just 10.<>But someone helped him.<>It was Warlic.<>He didn't judged him.

wood, <space>

This was hard work for a 10-year-old.

<space>, <space>, <space>, judge
quote:


Your welcome.<>A good deed always help.

You're, <space>, helps
quote:


I was always the mostly sucker.

biggest
quote:


First of all,I don't judge a book after it's cover.And we have more in common than you tough.

by its, think
quote:


One day,he was going to play with Warlic. <> Was pretty good.<>They played a lot of game.<>From hide and seek to video games.

went, It was, <space>, games, <space>
quote:


But when he arrived back in his village,Erik couldn't trust his eyes.A dragon attacked all the village.It was Akriloth.He just run away.He ran and ran as fast as he can, 3-5 minutes(what is more than you tough if you are scared)and later he arrived in Surewould forest.

at his, believe

Akriloth, the Great Elemental Dragon of Fire, was attacking the village.

ran, could, eventually

quote:

He just seated under a tree to catch his breath and <> cry.<>And then,he meet her.<>Someone with a gentle smile.<>She was lady Celestia.

sat down, started, <space>, met, <space, <space>, It was the
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 6
5/18/2014 9:25:47   
Dragonic1
Member

I'm done.
And no,I didn't played the Alexander story.I just find a page where the Alexander story was written.
My apologizes for all that defects,but the English isn't my natural language.

< Message edited by Dragonic1 -- 5/18/2014 9:28:19 >
Post #: 7
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