quote:

Letter to the Editors
By Alac, featuring Zorbak

Hello all! I'd just like to take a moment to remind people that we are accepting Letters to the Editors now. We recently got our first one, as you can see below. Please check out this thread in The Zardian board for more details on what we're looking for in a Letter to the Editors: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=11472540
If you have something to say, please email it to letterstothezardian@gmail.com. Thanks! And now for our first Letter:

"Why is there so little Zorbak in the E-Zine? In case you aren't aware, I'M the franchise around these parts. Everyone loves Zorbak. Notice that you don't see a "Falerin goes to the Con" picture page, or an "Ask Cyrus" animated feature on Ebilgames.com. There's a reason for this...

I suggest you immediately incorporate more Zorbak to improve your circulation. First of all, get rid of Twig on the opening page. Replace him with a zombie... or perhaps one of my many other ebil creations. Maya needs to go as well; she should be replaced with my much more witty and attractive girlfriend MuGlen. And as for your new logo: No one wants a Zard reading a magazine. Instead, might I recommend a Skelly Zard reading from the Necronomicon?

Finally, the name... "The Zardian." Ugh. I suggest "The Zorbakian" at the very least, though I'm sure there are many other Zorbak-related titles you could come up with. Perhaps something paying homage to my legacy as the greatest Ebil necromancer to ever walk the face of Lore. Might I suggest you surround yourself with Zorbak plushies and listen to my "Ask Zorbak" clips until you are sufficiently inspired?

In summary, I offer three little words: Needs more Zorbak!

Ebilly Yours,

Zorbak
Ebil Master Necromancer Supreme"