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D-UnHeroes Alpha: The Legend of the 12 Orbs (Comments Here)

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5/30/2010 2:46:55   
:::Illusion:::
Member

(Put on your seatbelts)

This is a sci-fi fantasy story, how will a hero with no powers save earth from powerful creatures. Read the story, very suspenseful....cause he is Unhero.
What will he do???
Better Read on it D-Unheroes Alpha: The Legend of the 12 Orbs

< Message edited by DrakEVil -- 5/30/2010 14:36:23 >
AQW  Post #: 1
5/30/2010 14:35:57   
:::Illusion:::
Member

Part 2 D-UnHeroes Bravo: The Prisoner of the Cube, is still on progress. Read the Alpha now. the story is so good. Draxians attacked the earth with a cause...why did they attacked. D-Unheroes Alpha: The Legend of the 12 Orbs Read it NOW
AQW  Post #: 2
5/31/2010 7:47:30   
:::Illusion:::
Member

Alpha, then Bravo, what's next???
AQW  Post #: 3
5/31/2010 7:51:01   
:::Illusion:::
Member

Story gets suspense, and supense, more suspense, MOST SUSPENSE!!!
AQW  Post #: 4
5/31/2010 22:30:51   
Xiadow
Member

Wow!!!! i just read the D-Unheroes Alpha, every situation is exciting.....i wonder what happens to the D-Unheroes Bravos....it pertains to Dominatus the Prisoner....I love your story its like a hollywood movie....COOL!!!!
Post #: 5
6/1/2010 4:50:49   
Mistermafio
Member

Really, creating a sock-puppet to fake comments? Not cool man.

Anyway, even though you seem to be going for a movie-script kind of deal, try to be more descriptive. Explain a bit more what the settings are, how the characters look. Maybe try writing some kind of introduction other then just starting dialog and assuming the world knows what you are going on about.

You have a workable premise, but flesh it out, add detail and description. Or at least double-check your grammar and spelling.
AQ  Post #: 6
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