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(DF) The Legends of Kezeros Knight discussion

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4/1/2014 12:59:10   
hidan_orochimaru
Member

So it's the first time I write a story,I hope it's okay.

Link: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=21646872&mpage=1&key=�

Comments and Criticism are always appreciated.

< Message edited by hidan_orochimaru -- 4/15/2014 19:41:17 >
DF AQW  Post #: 1
4/1/2014 13:32:42   
Chaosweaver Amon
Friendly!


 Well there's not really much to say. The prologue seems like a good concept. But other than that...forgive my bluntness.

  • It was very short, not much to get drawn into. I'd suggest thickening out your future chapters, maybe by combining some into 1.
  • You wrote it in the format of a quest, or a script. I'm not sure if it was meant to seem like that, but when you do that, there is very little room for anything besides dialogue.

    Other than that, I didn't see many grammatical errors, and I'm curious to see where you go with this.
    • DF  Post #: 2
    4/1/2014 13:50:38   
    hidan_orochimaru
    Member

    		Actually that was the first part of chapter 1,but I guess it was my fault for not saying it earlier.
    Edit:I edited my first post to let the others know that it's just the first part of Ch.1
    And I didn't post much because my sister wanted to use the computer,but don't worry,there is still much to post,it has just begun!

    < Message edited by hidan_orochimaru -- 4/1/2014 14:09:58 >
    DF AQW  Post #: 3
    4/15/2014 19:43:00   
    hidan_orochimaru
    Member

    		Update:Chapter 1 finished.
    DF AQW  Post #: 4
    4/30/2014 15:26:19   
    hidan_orochimaru
    Member

    		Update again:Chapter 2 finished,a small chapter,but may lead to interesting plots.
    DF AQW  Post #: 5
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