15cman's Poetry-Comments (Full Version)

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15cman -> 15cman's Poetry-Comments (12/26/2008 22:41:39)

Well this is it, all set,neat,and ready to go.Is there anything else I should say?I guess not.



Crimzon5 -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (12/27/2008 8:06:27)

I read your stuff. And endless seems to be my favorite. The last two lines... they're kinda... not that very original but it was used very well. Good job!



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (12/28/2008 14:06:33)

New poem called "Schedule".Check it out.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (12/29/2008 11:42:22)

New poem called Freedom.Not my best work, but I like it nevertheless.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (12/31/2008 16:34:52)

Another new poem called Poker. Read it, read it now!



Crimzon5 -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/1/2009 8:34:07)

Heh, read your poems again. Remind me to read them when a songs not stuck in my head... it made me read the stanzas with a tune... which did not fit with it xD



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/1/2009 15:06:40)

Actually Poker was intended to have some sort of a tune to go along, but maybe not the one you think *makes mysterious movements with hands*.


So...what did you think about it?



Crimzon5 -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/2/2009 0:47:29)

quote:

so I put down what I bet on my I.O.U,
and I made it a subtle bet.

Seeing an I.O.U mkes me laugh. Hahaha, pathethicness

Well, I didn't get the Mexico part... But still, I liked the moral part... but what I was expecting was for the persona to win when the other cards were unflipped... it makes it a more powerful read (my opinion) but still, I commend your work.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/3/2009 0:07:21)

Haha crimz, I doubted anyone would get the Mexico part.You see, the person who lost everything and couldn't pay him back and left had to leave his current jurisdiction(The US or South America, doesn't matter) to escape having to pay the money.In Mexico, if you are a big criminal in the US, you can't be thrown in jail by them once you are in a different country.


I do agree with you about him winning the first time, but then I looked at it and I thought it would build up the suspense of "Oh I just lost some, I'll win it back this next time around.".



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/3/2009 22:27:46)

New poem made called Night.



Crimzon5 -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/4/2009 0:36:20)

Heh, just you and me. Don't worry, it really takes time for new guys in the L&L to get much readers.

quote:

poison led toys

Heh, you should also know about the milk scam in China. They put melamine, something for making plastic, in with the powdered milk. Many children died... dang! Typing this made we want to kill the culprit. Oh, that reminds me, a friend almost ate a Sunflower (was it sunflower?) biscuit... which got victimized by the the melamine

quote:

no worries about tomorrow,
if there is a tomorrow,that is.

nice one there... too bad that there's a small spacing error by the comma. Over all, good job there. It's true that a good night's sleep could make the problems go away. This poem reminds me of Nevertheless' Sleeping In. Try listenin' to it.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/4/2009 19:10:32)

Thanks crimz.


New poem called Setting a pace.Kind of like Wait, but I think it's different.In a way.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/7/2009 19:58:20)

New poem called Vengeance.


Oh yeah, haha crimz.Your right, it is hard to get people to read my poems.But then again I really don't mind.It keeps the stress off and I can make more poems.



Is it me or is my poetry comments thread going down the list?It's probably just me.



Crimzon5 -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/8/2009 5:14:54)

Well... threads here are arranged alphabetically by the author. So let's pretend that there are two authors: Crimzon5 and 15cman

Whenever 15cman makes a new thread here, Crimzon5's threads all get pushed down. And whenever Crimzon5 makes a new thread... they'll all remain under 15cman's.

Just a little clarification at the latest poem... there are 2 personas, right?



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/8/2009 19:49:32)

Yes,crimz.There are 2 persona's talking.



And,lol, let's pretend we exist?



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/10/2009 13:08:27)

New poem called "Regrets?".



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/11/2009 13:41:48)

Another poem called Laugh.My first shape poem.It's not my best(shape wise) but I'm still learning.I think I'll make some more once I get the hang of it.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/19/2009 16:45:15)

I made a new poem today, one of my favorites.I couldn't make it without Coyote's help(he doesn't know how he helped) and Eukara(she doesn't know how she helped either :P).



Coyote -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/19/2009 23:58:25)

I don't? I'm pretty sure I have a pretty good idea, though.

I know what you mean. Music is soul. Any true musician can feel the music not in his ears, not in his head, but in the pit of his heart. Not just the notes and the rhythms -- the style, the nuance, the groove. It's what makes you want to sing and dance, no matter how terrible a singer or dancer you might be. =P

And while it certainly isn't the most subtle piece I've read (it's really hard to satisfy this cynical coyote =P), it speaks deep down to the soul. Good job. n_n



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/20/2009 6:49:36)

I've never been too subtle.My poems are just "out there".

Although I do think that I should try to be subtle.I want to see how my poems look then, although to do this I'm going to need some practice.To the notebook again, wish me luck.

Oh and by the way, a really good poem that I've been working on is coming up soon.I haven't titled it yet, but keep your eyes peeled.

Please don't double-post unless you have an actual update to post. If you have something small to add, use the edit button instead of posting again.
~Coyote



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/21/2009 15:46:29)

A new poem is put into the internet today.It's called "Next Generation"



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/23/2009 18:59:34)

Yet another poem called One Day.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/24/2009 10:11:21)

Well after cleaning my room, I found an old poem I wrote.I decided to put it in poetry and verse, and ya.You know the rest.It's called The right note.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/25/2009 19:24:52)

Well my supposedly great poem I've been working on didn't fit what I feel, or think.So I got mad and made a cliche poem called Cliche.



15cman -> RE: 15cman's Poetry-Comments (1/30/2009 16:36:23)

Another poem made.It doesn't have a name just so you know :P



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