Crimzon5 -> RE: April Fool's '09 - The God Must Be Loco! (4/25/2009 1:46:36)
Quest One: Save Hans from Artix!
Click on Artix chasing Hans to begin this quest
«As you enter, Artix is still chasing Hans»
Hans: I'm not a ghost! I work at Yulgar's! Don't you recognize me?!
Artix: Stop running away! I can't exorcize you if you keep dodging!
«You»: Okay, I've got five gold that says this is Loco's mischief. Are you alright, Hans?
Hans: *gasp* Can't... talk. Running from... *wheeze* paladin who thinks I'm... *pant* undead.
«You»: Well, you do look a little pale.
Hans: Just help me, please!
«You»: ARTIX! Could you stop for just a second?!
Artix: Good idea. This ghost is pretty fast. I'll wait near Aria's shop, you herd it over to me...
«You»: Yeah, look, about that... that's not a ghost. It's Hans. You know, the little guy from Yulgar's Inn?
Artix: Don't be silly. It's pale, it floats, ergo: It's a ghost!
«You»: Maybe it's an illusion. And besides, he's not really floating.
Artix: How many illusions have YOU seen, «You»??
«You»: ...Moving right along... How about a challenge? Winner exorcizes the ghost, loser takes 50 laps around the Granemor Cemetery?
Artix: Well okay then. If you can slay 3 undead in Darkovia before I exorcise this ghost, I will leave him alone.
«You»: Well, I guess that's a challenge then. You got it! Don't worry, Hans!
«Artix continues chasing Hans»«You»: I did it! So, what do you say? Will you leave Hans alone and give me a chance to fix this?
Artix: Alright, I know when to admit defeat. Now, if you'll excuse me, there are some zombies in Granemor begging for me to put them to rest. ZOMBIEEES!
Hans: Thanks, «You»... You weren't serious about exorcising me, though, were you?
«You»: Of course not. You'd better hide, though. Artix might be harder to distract next time.
Hans: Got it! I'll be as silent as the gra... ...INCOMIIIIIIIIIING!!
«A pie flies towards Hans and freezes close to him.»
«You»: ... Huh. I've heard of "pie in the sky," but this is pretty ridiculous.
Hans: Let's just back away slowly.....
«Hans moves a little and the pie immediately splats him.»
«You»: I have really got to fix that...
Hans: It came from THATAWAY!! Go destroy that Pie-Launcher!
Quest Two: Destroy the Pie-Launcher!
«A short cutscene shows the Pie-Launcher automatically loading a pie filled with cream and firing it into the distance.»
Pie Launcher: DIRECT HIT. COMIC VALUE AT 100% AS ANTICIPATED. RELOADING...
«You»: No waaaay.... That thing defies logic!! And I have to stop it!!
Pie Launcher: THREAT DETECTED! PREPARING DEFENSIVE COUNTERMEASURES!«You»: Scratch one logic-defying pie launcher!!
«You return to Battleon.»
Quest Three: Find 13 black cats!
Speak to Aria: What do I do about the 13 black cats? to begin the quest
Aria: Whew-- I'm so glad you asked!! You need to go find 13 black cats hidden all around town and collect each one. When you have them all, bring them to me!
Okay-- I'll do that right now!
«You play a minigame to look for 13 black cats around Battleon. Click on the black cats to collect them, and click on the arrows to move to different areas.
"Meow! You caught one of Loco's trickster cats!" appears if you successfully find and click on a black cat.
Once you have successfully found all 13 cats, click the back arrow to return to Aria.»
Aria: You did it! Now that we have all 13 black cats, I can place them in a magical pen that will prevent them from warping town any further!
«Aria leaves for a short while to place the cats in the pen and returns.»
Aria: All done! Now Loco's hold on Battleon is a little less tight!
«You return to Battleon.»
Quest Four: Create a focus!
Speak to Warlic: What can I do to help stop Loco? to begin this quest.
Warlic: Create a focus to ward off bad luck and set it up to prevent further mischief. This focus is in the form of a horseshoe which you will find in the mountains! Find it and take it to Yulgar at the Inn. He will know where to put it.
To the mountains!
Earth-based monster from your RA list
«A Thunder Steed appears alongside with the horseshoe.»
«You»: Oh-- Does that horseshoe happen to belong to you?
Thunder Steed: It does. This horseshoe is my LUCKY horseshoe. And you can't have it.
«You»: I REALLY need it, though, to save Battleon from the trickster Loco! Please-- can I borrow it?
Thunder Steed: I say NEIGH! If you want it, you'll have to TAKE it.
Fight!«You return to Battleon. Proceed to the Battleon Inn and pass the horseshoe to Yulgar.»
Yulgar: Why, thank you for getting that Focus! This horseshoe will ward off bad luck brought on by Loco-- that sniveling coward! I placed the horseshoe facing up like a "U" because that is the right way to do it!
«You return to Battleon.»
Quest Five: Save Galanoth!
Speak to Galanoth in Battleon to begin the quest
Galanoth: «You»! You have to help me!
«You»: What is it Galanoth? Is another army of dragons about to attack Battleon?
Galanoth: Worse! I'm in LOVE!
«You»: You--you're kidding! Right?
Galanoth: I'm afraid not. Someone tricked me into drinking a love potion.
«You»: Oookay... And who's the-- lucky woman?
Galanoth: Oh, how shall I describe that radiant goddess, whose beauty catches the very breath in my throat--
Galanoth: -- whose azure skin accentuates her svelte figure and whose horns would pierce me like an arrow of love?
«You»: Huh, I never figured you for the poetic type, Galanoth.
Galanoth: I'm not! It's all the potion!
«You»: Wait a minute, Azure skin? Horns? You can't mean... SHEILA? Cyrus the Dracomancer's SISTER??
Galanoth: Ah, the Creator has truly blessed a name as sonorous as-- I mean, yes!
«You»: Wow, that has to be awkward. She's a Vartai and a Dracomancer... able to harness Dragons' powers and even become half-dragon. And you-- are a Dragonslayer!
Galanoth: Hence my dilemma. I need you to help me fall out of love with her. I can't... SLAY dragons with these emotions!
«You»: Fall out of love... and how do you expect me to do that?
Galanoth: I don't know! I can't even work up the will to try myself!
«You»: Alright, Galanoth-- I'll fix this somehow.
Galanoth: Excellent! I'll be waiting at Dragonstone. Bring me some good news soon!
«You»: Hmmm... Now WHO knows the most about love potions??
Hans: Love potion? Now why would I know anything about something like that. I mean, it's not like I'd try to get Aria to drink one or anything...
- What is that behind your back?
«Hans continues hiding his hands»
Hans: I'm just a shopkeeper. Even if I did have a love potion - WHICH I DON'T - I wouldn't know anything about how they work.
Hans: Maybe someone more magically or potion...ly inclined would be able to help you?
*THE SOUND OF GLASS BREAKING*
«Hans opens his mouth widely in shock»
Hans: NO! My potion!! *gulp*
Lucretia: So Galanoth run afoul of a love potion? And people wonder why I don't deal with those things. There's just so many things that can go wrong and it's hard to make a counterpotion of it.
- But-- it CAN be done, right?
Lucretia: Had you asked me a year ago, I'd have said no. Love is a pretty sturdy emotion. I think some of the more recently created monsters might make it possible--
Lucretia: --but a simple potion maker like me couldn't possibly get those ingredients. But I'm sure a powerful adventurer like yourself could help me...
- Well, I have slain a monster or two--
Lucretia: Wonderful! I'll need a feather from an Ebil Cupid, a petal from the Mighty Mandrake variety of plants, and a tuft of hair from one of the moglins infected by Visia's magic.
Lucretia: Hurry now! Magical Love tends to get stronger over time. If we want to counter it, we have to do it soon.
3 BATTLES (Non-random)
Level 0-19: Ebil Cupid (10)
Level 20-44: Ebil Cupid (25)
Level 45-69: Ebil Cupid (50)
Level 70-94: Ebil Cupid (75)
Level 95+: Ebil Cupid (100)
Level 0-21: Brawny Bellflower
Level 22-38: Strong Sunflower
Level 39-55: Potent Poppy
Level 56-75: Mighty Mandrake
Level 76+: Power Flower
Level 0-19: Moglinator M-1
Level 20-44: Moglinator M-70
Level 45-69: Moglinator M-600
Level 70-94: Moglinator M-800
Level 95+: Moglinator M-1000
Full Heal after each battle
Lucretia: Wonderful! This will just take a second...
Lucretia: There we are! One Anti-Love potion. Some effects may include crankiness, sudden slaps to the face and destruction of love letters.
Warlic: I'm a bit busy at the moment, as you are no doubt aware. Surely there's someone else you can ask. «After you have obtained the potion, the scene shifts to Dragonstone, where Sheila approaches Galanoth and the Love Potion takes effect again...»
Galanoth: My dearest! You've come!
Sheila: Dearest?!? Did you suffer a blow to the head, dragonslayer? And, by the gods-- WHAT is that thing emanating from your chest??
Galanoth: Uhhh...no... But I would suffer a thousand such blows for your sake, radiant creature. And this thing emanating from my chest is my heart, aching with love...
Sheila: How sweet... and unexpected. I thought you hated my kind.
Galanoth: That I do, but how could I hate one who kept me from certain doom? Would that I could convince you of the depth of my feelings, oh queen of my heart.
Sheila: Are you saying that saving you from that fall* made you fall... for me?
(*See Part 2 of the Xerxes quest at Dragonspine)
Galanoth: Well... this emotion didn't exist before that event... so sure, let's go with that.
Sheila: That's very romantic... Galanoth, but I could never be with a man who kills my kin.
Galanoth: Then I shall renounce my ways! If that is the only way we can be together, I'll change!
Sheila: You'd DO that-- for me??
Galanoth: Of course! From this day forward, let it be said that I, Galanoth---
«You»: Galanoth! I've got the counterpotion! Here!
«You pass Galanoth the counterpotion»
Galanoth: Oh thank goodness!! I'm cured! I don't feel a thing anymore!
Sheila: You were saying, Galanoth--?
Galanoth: Ah...well, this is awkward. «You», can you help me explain?
Sheila: Explain what?
«You»: Well, um, Galanoth was under the effects of a love potion and well... it focused on you... so...
Sheila: .................I see.
«Galanoth retreats and the scene zooms in on Sheila, showing a fire which burns the trees...»
«You return to Battleon.»
Write up from whackybeanz. Monster levels list from fenmeisterkronos.