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Postmaster General -> RE: Currently Untitled Book of War Epic Poem - .::Comments!::. (5/13/2010 19:17:29)
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A few things I would suggest for format would be to keep the disclaimer above your poem in the C&C thread. I feel it takes away from your poem, which is very good. Also, I would consider centering your poem, and maybe even Italics, as it adds a more legitimate element to your poem, although these are just personal preferences.
As for actual C&C:
quote:
The betrayal of the great knight Balmath was
Balmath should be set off in commas, it does not add syllable, but would still follow conventions of writing. So, one comma before 'Balmath', and one after.
quote:
from the noble man who was champion for good to
fury incarnate, the loyal servant to the Great Cataclysm.
Another example of being set off in commas, here you set off fury incarnates second reference ,'the loyal servant to the Great Cataclysm.' So I would say to put a comma after 'man' and one after 'good'
quote:
still the booze
I feel like 'booze' wouldn't be the best description of alcohol to fith the epic poem style. Perhaps something like 'ale', 'liquor', or 'meade'.
Other than these small points, this is a very good start. I really like it and can't wait for more!
*Looks at calendar* You better get started! You're running out of time!
Good luck!
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