RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (Full Version)

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Mritha -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 17:33:10)

@Shinobi, Me? I'm not the one eating it all, Mechajin is! Serously though I really am out of popcorn and I was planning a movie night tonight since i don't have to work.
@Mordred, sounds gory :)



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 17:56:59)

@Mritha: What do ya mean, Mechajin is eating all the popcorn? Is he reading this too? *tries to locate Technomancers within fifty feet*

Updating now! You'll find out why the heck the ShadowScythe are on Terra and not Lore!



Razen -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 18:00:18)

My next Part will be of the Two Elven Heroes, one most will know, the other will be known only to those who read my suggestion saga.

Mritha: How is Mechajin eating YOUR popcorn.

Mordred: You did bring up a good question there, but make sure you eliminate the flashback right.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 18:03:45)

Oh, I'll end the flashback quite well, I think. I've had this planned for years man. Years.



Razen -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 18:09:48)

I can tell, and my story has been in my head since it started in the beginning of 7th grade, or about August 09.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 21:06:56)

Update complete! Flashback complete! I tried to capture the feel of having one's life flashing before one's eyes by making the end feel rushed and leaving out specific details. I still feel it was poorly crafted. But, after this part, my writing gets much better, as I'm much more solid on what happens, and there's more action!



Razen -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 21:14:01)

Well, I already read through it(It was good), also 1. Have you read Part IV? 2. Would you like to assist me in writing Part V? I would be willing to type it all up, but I get distracted from it very easy.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 21:24:26)

How could I help?



Razen -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/19/2011 21:36:12)

Well, Forget it, I just remembered that I can't mind link with someone, too bad, cause that would be awesome. I was going to type a good amount, and let you try the rest, but like I said, only I can really moved the plot the way I like. Maybe next time, a collab can happen.

On second thought, would you like to proofread it, once I finish?



Mritha -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/21/2011 10:02:44)

To punish and enslave? Thats was written on Barricade in Transformers 1 when he was disguised as a cop car! I loved that movie!



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/21/2011 11:29:16)

Okay, so I borrowed a line. It's not like they own it or anything. But I think it describes Mordred perfectly. Don't think too negatively about the words. By enslave, I don't mean he'll make everybody slaves, I mean he wants to take away their rights for their own good. And as for punishment, well, you'll find out more of that when I begin to make Galbradi a major force in the Empire.

@Razen: Sure, I'd love to! So long as it doesn't get in the way of testing SW.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/31/2011 23:54:45)

Wait, you used Barricade's line?
Anyways, I'm not too far though I'm of mixed opinions. It's written pretty well, there's just a few things I don't really like.
Will finish it though, I think I'm 1/4 or 1/6th through it.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/31/2011 23:57:07)

Well, when you're ready, just tell me what you don't like.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (1/31/2011 23:59:48)

The thing was though, they were just odd storyline things, and I don't want be annoying and all "change your story, blehblehbleh!" and all.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/1/2011 0:04:52)

No, go ahead. I'll have to go back and alter the creation of the Order, thanks to recent info from the Nature Orb Saga, so I'm all for any changes that won't make my story irreparable.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/1/2011 0:20:34)

I think they would though D:
Oh well, anyways, it was interesting to read but bringing Earth/Terra seemed slightly off to me but anyways, that wasn't too bad considering canonically a few characters have been there in AQ. What seemed...odd was the 13 members, the fact that Sepulchure is the weakest of all of them (or at least the lowest rank, assuming I read it right), with even a child being stronger than him. It echoed Drakath killing him in AQW by basically making him seem kinda...pathetic in a way.


On a side note, where'd they find a dragon big enough to support the Mountain? The one Sepulchure has in DF is said to be the "largest dragon ever."
But that was said in AQW...



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/1/2011 6:42:28)

I assure you, Sepulchure being on the lowest chair doesn't make him the weakest. It denotes that he's been around for only so long. Their rank is based on when they joined the Empire. In reality, Sepulchure is the second in-command. The other member despise him for it, because they feel it's undeserved. Thus, they pay him little to no respect.



Glais -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/1/2011 23:08:26)

Ah, in that case, I like that touch, very much actually.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/3/2011 21:23:05)

Mini-update! Plans, plans, and guess what? Even more plans! It would seem that everyone is conniving a little cheat!



Razen -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/3/2011 21:30:43)

Read it, and liked it.

Can't wait for more.

Me, I'm drawing out Helmets for Elitus now, cause I'm trying to draw his character, and the head is a good place to start from.



Mritha -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/3/2011 21:34:36)

quote:

Their rank is based on when they joined the Empire. In reality, Sepulchure is the second in-command.

Thanks for clearing that up, I thought he was the lowest at first too lol

So Mordred is preparing to go back.....this should be interesting!



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/3/2011 21:36:06)

Oh, not quite... Notice how he said "worlds"... He has sights set on Lore, but the master plan says that'll come in twenty years.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (2/14/2011 21:25:06)

Updated! Like I said, Mortimer's part is not yet over...



1412. -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (3/3/2011 6:23:43)

I'll print out a copy and start reading it later on.
However going by the 1st chapter, It is very interesting.



Mordred -> RE: Mordred's Vengeance Comments and Criticism (3/8/2011 0:19:39)

I hate to keep superjars waiting for me to reply to his thoughts in my Critique thread. I just haven't yet found the time to get it right to my liking. I've never liked my beginning. Feels sloppy. So, hopefully, I'll have it done this weekend!



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