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ArchMagus Orodalf -> We now return to your show! (11/19/2010 18:42:35)
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[image]https://media.artix.com/encyc/df/banners/Falconreach.png[/image]
[image]https://media.artix.com/encyc/df/tags/Titan.png[/image]
We now return to your show!
Location: Falconreach > Button labeled "Falconreach Idle!" in the upper, left-hand corner > Start the show! > We now return you to your show!,
Location: FalconsNest > Theatre > Zevox > Start the show! > We now return you to your show!,
Location: Falconreach -> Down -> 2 Down Right -> Enter the theater -> Zevox -> On with the Show! -> We now return you to your show!
Requirements: None
Release Date: November 19th, 2010
Objective: Wow! I want to get some Paladin Ultrasoft Toilet Paper of my own!
Objective completed: Armor on the ground, armor on the ground, helm turned sideways... Ash is lookin' like a FOOL with his armor on the ground!
Experience rewarded: Scaled
Gold rewarded: Scaled
Monsters
(2) Mr. Green Guy
(2) Mr. Guy
(2) Mr. Test Guy
(1) Lowe-viathon - Titan Boss
NPCs
Cysero
George Lowe
Lim
Lime the Moglin
Serenity
Rewards
Weapons
Dark Star Katana (I, II, III)
Dark Star Naginata (I, II, III)
Dark Star Kodachi (I, II, III)
Accessories
Bright Star Helm (I, II, III)
Bright Star Cape (I, II, III)
Dialogue
*Artix introduces with some voice-over advertising Paladin Toilet Paper*
*After the video is over, scene shows the theater again*
Lim: You know them, you love them, they are out to save the world and thwart the villains who have nothing better to do than burn down your town!
Lim: It's... the HERO!
Lim: Their martial skills will astonish and their accuracy will amaze! Let's see who they have brought with them to demonstrate!
Lim: It's says here, Hero, that these are... your stunt-men? Your stand-ins?
<Character>: Oh, yes. I can't be EVERYwhere all the time, so they put on <Character> suits and make public appearances for me.
<Character>: Let me tell you, it's a real relief! I used to run on 3 hours of sleep and 7 cans of MogBull a day before my PR guy, Tad, got them.
Lim: Until SCIENCE! invents cloning, that is a most excellent solution. On with the show!
Fight against Mr. Guy, Mr. Green Guy and Mr. Test Guy in a row, and then against all of them together.
*The crowd applauds*
<Character>: Thank you! Thank you!
*Camera shows the judging panel*
Cysero: I asked my PR orb for a stand-in and all I got was a cardboard cutout.
Cysero: Whaddaya say, Hero, give me Tad's card?
Cysero: I want to make your people MY people.
Cysero: But I'm willing to share.
Serenity: You were amazing! Oh, it was marvelous to watch you battle! Such power, such finesse! It's amazing how SPECIAL a Hero you are! I can't get over you!
Serenity: I can definitely see you winning a place as Lim's assistant! Can't you, George?
George Lowe: Seems to me a hero destined to save the world has more than enough to do without having to polish beakers and clean up chemicals.
George Lowe: But that's just my take on it.
George Lowe: I'd give you 8.5 stars, but no one in this outfit clued me in on the ratings system.
George Lowe: So all you get is a "Nice moves, champ."
Lim: Even a hero can appreciate SCIENCE!, George. Besides, playing with molten gold can be Au-some!
Lim: And speaking of SCIENCE!, prepare for an explosion of fun to come bursting out of the mind of a mechanical Moglin! It's time for Lime!
*Camera shows Lime the green moglin standing next to a Gnomish Personal Steamtank armor on a pile of planks*
Lime: The Popsprocket gnomes wouldn't lend me a water heater for my demonstration, so I had to finagle one of THESE babies out of Cysero!
Lime: Our agreement's a little hazy, but I think I agreed to build him some steam-powered laser-mounted rocket-orbs.
Lime: Not sure what he'll use THOSE for, but they're sure going to be fun to construct. Flaaaaash BOOM!
Lime: But no matter! Let's get to it!
*Lime lights up the planks. The armor starts shaking and rattling*
Lime: The point of this demonstration is to see if a Gnomish Personal Steamtank - possibly the epitome of Gnomish technology -
Lime: ... can turn from a useful armor into a... low-earth orbit ROCKET!
Lime: If you read the manual that comes WITH a GPS, it guarantees that the tank will never explode, never destruct, and will always protect you from harm.
Lime: (IF, that is, you can read the manual. It was originally written in Gnomish, and the translation is AWFUL.)
*The armor turns red*
Lime: I think we're about to see some VERY intriguing results!
*The armor gets hotter and hotter. And after a few tense seconds it finally explodes in such a big explosion that it can be seen from space.*
Lime: ...
Cysero: Not quite as elegant an explosion as my nitroglycerin sponges. Now THOSE things make a beautiful BOOM!
Serenity: You could have KILLED us! SO irresponsible! How- why- what- GAH! There's no way I'm voting for you to be Lim's assistant!
George Lowe: I feel a need to sing about the contents being "under pressure," but this isn't a musical show.
George Lowe: Those things never last and the talent they find to go on them don't even hit has-been status.
George Lowe: They're stuck at never were.
George Lowe: At least your act didn't bomb, sport.
Lim: Too right, George! He definitely went out with a bang!
Lim: And THAT'S why he's the winner!
Serenity: I thought WE were the judges of that.
Lim: The winner's going to be MY assistant! But the producers of the show insisted we have a panel of judges.
Lim: Lime is THE perfect assistant for my shop.
Serenity: But you're shop's right next to my INN!
Lim: OVERRULED! (Science.)
Lim: Falconreach, meet your newest Weapons-shop assistant, Lime.
*The crowd applauds*
Lim: I give you... Lim and Lime, weapons-smiths with TASTE!
*George Lowe stands up*
George Lowe: Puns! MORE puns! How do you people STAND it?
George Lowe: George Lowe ANGRY!
George Lowe: George Lowe... SMASH!
*George Lowe turns into a Hulk version of himself*
Lim: Um... Hero? Do you think you and your dragon could... help us out here?
Lim: I've... ah, got to get Lime into training. Right now. In the shop. Very important!
Fight Lowe-viathon in a titan battle! Free players too!
<Character>: George? George, are you alright?
<Character>: I know the puns can sometimes be overwhelming.
<Character>: I try not to think about it too much. It let's me sleep at night.
George Lowe: You people are crazier than a- a-
<Character>: Yaga with bats on the brain?
George Lowe: Sure, tiger. Whatever you say.
George Lowe: Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go find some new pants.
George Lowe: George Lowe didn't wear ripped jeans when they were in style and he doesn't wear them now.
Complete Quest
Thanks to Voodoo Master for coloring and corrections.
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