RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion

RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (Full Version)

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Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (1/23/2012 2:12:02)
spoiler: I hadn't considered that. I would've really liked Valdur to, but he kind of...self-destructed. I've been planning for Saru to make more appearances (in...a very surprising way) so she likely will. Especially since she can effectively find anything that's alive in the universe. I could see her pulling some sort of rescue or such. The bit I threw in randomly about her near omniscience was basically just a thread to tie in later. Besides her though, all the Old DragonLords would've died (most of em actually died right now, with the survivors forming DragonsGrasp in the future) making it impossible. EDIT:Though...I don't know, Innocentius was a DragonLord. Perhaps there's a connection? He was also the first Grand Inquisitor...

lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (1/23/2012 3:38:38)
spoiler: Though...I don't know, Innocentius was a DragonLord. Perhaps there's a connection? He was also the first Grand Inquisitor... Well this surely has taken an interesting turn.

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (1/23/2012 3:47:23)
Indeed. I don't know, I wouldn't want too much to be revealed as of now, since you're the only one I accidentally slipped certain bits of info to. I think I'll PM you tomorrow so we may be able to sort out any story possibilities here if that's alright with you. EDIT:And not really an update, but Valdur's a full giant now. I realized he's the same size as Nivalis who's a full giant. It's now Zairo who's Half-Giant.

Varen6398 -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/2/2012 11:21:46)
Nice! What you have written so far is great! Kathool...Riverine Keep...so many references! This is brilliant work! Keep it up, I want to know more of the Horror of Stonefang![:)] It really is quite interesting...any clues you can drop to us?[:)]

Mortarion -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/2/2012 11:45:58)
Hmm thinking of reading this strongly

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/3/2012 0:11:54)
@Varen:Heh, yeah I LOVE my references, and have several more planned. As for the Horror, it's main point is to set up DragonGrasp, but the thing itself well...let's just say, it will be here all the time, but you won't know it for a while. Kathool will make indirect reappearances as well, but overall he's very minor, as his main uprising is well, 100 years from now. As for actual clues, hmmm...let's just say, it's something "above the rest." @Mort:Cool, just be sure to comment whether you've decided to read or not :D I appreciate all comments xP Should have Chapter 1 up this weekend, still trying to decide where exactly to go with it, since besides an outline, I write this off the top of my head... EDIT:Adding in a small overview to the first post, to give a bit of info and make it more spiffy EDIT2:Aaaand...done.

lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/3/2012 1:20:37)
Will read it later when I have time, so spare me the spoilers. hehe.

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/3/2012 1:30:29)
Oh there isn't anything you haven't read (to my knowledge) up yet. Chapter 1 won't be here till this weekend at the soonest. I have a bit more planning to do, to get the right feel and decide how things will go.

Blade -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/3/2012 10:45:38)
I have to say I was really impressed with this. I honestly hope END didn't actually mean that was the end. :P The story really pulled me in once I got past paragraph 3, which is pretty good for a story. The dialogue seemed good for the time period and the people. I enjoyed how you as a reader were torn between loyalties of the king and the Dragonlords. (or Dragonlord as the rest really didn't agree.) I found the story to be very well written, and the overall feel of the story was exciting with an underlying sense of dread just peeking out, fully revealing itself towards the end. I did find Zairo and Venadar's speech patterns to be a bit sophisticated for 4 year olds. I think if you broke up their speech a bit to better match young children it might give a sense of realism to your piece. Overall I thought it was a very good start to a story, with a compelling plot, interesting characters, and some underlying evil of which is unknown to us yet. Very nice work! ~Bladebrawl

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/3/2012 23:28:16)
Thanks for the read BladeBrawl. Yeah that's just the Prologue's end, I have much more in store. And yeah, the speech is a bit advanced, but I'm also not really sure how to make it more...baby-fied. I may just leave it for the sake of easier reading.

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/6/2012 1:04:07)
Alright guys, chapter 1's up. Partly. I'll likely add onto it. There's also probably some errors in so apologies ahead of time. Not a whole lot of action here, just aiming to advance the plot a bit. So yeah, CC etc.

Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/6/2012 15:28:14)
@glaisaurus_x: What did the protagonists learn at Willowshire (besides being humble)?

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/6/2012 16:29:00)
I haven't quite finished that. My intent was it was something similar to the Karate Kid thing. They have no idea they've been training the entire time, through what they think are "useless" tasks and such.

Varen6398 -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/7/2012 11:16:14)
Nice addition! Gregory Innocentius...isn't that?...Or am I mistaking things?

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/7/2012 12:56:06)
Nope, you're correct. At least some parts of this have been planned out for quite a while. He wasn't, but the Inquisition itself was. We then noticed the connections and...yeah.

Varen6398 -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/7/2012 13:25:11)
Nice! It's always nice to see some references to other L&L's! So how did you an LK come to a decision about how it would be included? Is Innocentius going to play a major part, or has LK decided against it?[:)]

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/7/2012 13:36:47)
A couple months back I'd asked if the Inquisition could be used as a plot point somewhere down the line. Innocentius was only used once we noticed he was a DragonLord and it would be an interesting way to tie in the Inquisition. The Inquisition itself won't be shown for a while. He probably won't be too major, as I don't want to risk misrepresenting him as well as involving others' characters too much might alter the course of the story in ways I don't want.

Varen6398 -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/7/2012 13:39:29)
Yes, misrepresenting him would be worse than not including him at all. So, how long 'till Chapter 2?[:)]

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/7/2012 13:53:31)
Not sure, I could probably start today. Problem is, I haven't got this one planned out, hmmmm...

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/9/2012 1:27:44)
No more readers D: Man, everyone's so into HS these days. Started on Chapter 2. There's only a paragraph there as I ran out of ideas. Help brainstorming please? I would appreciate it.

Varen6398 -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/9/2012 11:58:52)
Bat problem...ha. Anyway, you need help brainstorming? Have you got any ideas about what you want to do with the chapter yet, or would you like some totally new ideas?

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/9/2012 18:17:05)
I have no idea. Save for one bit involving the boys that I may not even include.

lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/9/2012 21:28:00)
So I finally managed to put down Skyrim (thanks to viruses) and catch up on some reading. quote: "To you...well that's a stupid title. How exactly should one know who "you" is anyways? No matter, I'm sure there's no harm in me reading it. Seems to have been opened already anyways When inside quotation marks, you should use ' ' instead. Also I suggest italicizing you for emphasis. quote: "Zairo, at the library. I must admit, this is an intriguing surprise." I suggest rewording this. I couldn't quite get what Vendagar was trying to say at first. Anyway, so the boys are finally crossing the threshold that separates boys and men. I'm curious, what happened to the messenger who delivered the letter and how long was it since it was sent when the boys found it? If it was so dangerous to get to Riverine, shouldn't they at least provide an escort to the otherwise defenseless boys? Though this makes it all more interesting in how they face danger for the first time and how they'll manage to get out of it. A man's true test they say. And about Gregory, well, he seems to be portrayed well. Nothing too out of character or exaggerated, so keep it up.

Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/9/2012 21:34:44)
Ack, the quotes thing. I'd remembered the correct format but I thought I missed a sentence or two. And will make those corrections as soon as I can. As for the escort, there's supposed to be one, though I'm not sure whether I mentioned it or not, my memory of chapter 2's paragraph is hazy. On Gregory, well that's good. I'm not exactly aure what to do with him now, but I think so long as he remains a rarely seen character, things should go well.

lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/9/2012 21:39:49)
By the way I'm curious, if this were to be an RPG, which classes would Vendagar and Zairo fit in? I suppose Zairo becomes a spellblade later on like DragonLords?

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