whackybeanz -> Can Haz Vakayshon? (11/19/2012 5:39:12)
Can Haz Vakayshon?
(A Cheezburger Iz Fine 2)
Teh Old Wun iz in ur kwest, killin yur spellinz D:
Location: Travel Map » Sail East » Travel South » Veil Base Camp » Speak to Elbhe » Can Haz Vakayshon?
ElBhe: «You», thank goodness!
«You»: What is it, ElBhe? Did you run out of toy mice again?
ElBhe: I'm hurt! When have I ever asked you to do anything unreasonable or menial?
ElBhe: Right, silly question.
ElBhe: Anyways, this time it really is important. Do you remember when The Old One first visited?
«You»: Hard to forget a giant shadowcat peering down from the heavens and speaking in incomprehensible babble.
ElBhe: Well, apparently he took my offer of a visit seriously. He sent me a message that he's coming to visit Lore for a vacation.
«You»: ....Oh gods.
ElBhe: Exactly. At any rate, I'll need help keeping him reigned in. He's quite powerful and could be dangerous to others.
«You»: I can imagine so.
ElBhe: We'll need to get ready. He could be arriving any time now.
«The Old One enters the scene.»
Old One: HAI GUYZ. WUTS GOIN ON IN DIS PLAEC?
«You»: This is some kind of sick nightmarish fantasy, right? I'm going to wake up in my bed soon and none of this will have ever happened.
ElBhe: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows adventurers don't sleep.
Old One: Lol! Pwned, d00d.
«You»: ....I'll just keep comforting myself with the thought of this just being a bad dream.
ElBhe: *ahem* Anyways....
«The Old One turns around.»
Old One: O look, sum guyz want 2 joyn dis diskusshon.
ElBhe: I think he means to say that we have company!
4 BATTLES (Randomly selected) «A lush green bush appears between you and ElBhe after the battle.»
Level 1-23: Shadow Zard (6), Shadow Dragon (6), Shadow Ghoul (6), Shadow Behemoth (6), Shadow BURP (6)
Level 24-43: Shadow Zard (26), Shadow Dragon (26), Shadow Ghoul (26), Shadow Behemoth (26), Shadow BURP (26)
Level 44-63: Shadow Zard (46), Shadow Dragon (46), Shadow Ghoul (46), Shadow Behemoth (46), Shadow BURP (46)
Level 64-83: Shadow Zard (66), Shadow Dragon (66), Shadow Ghoul (66), Shadow Behemoth (66), Shadow BURP (66)
Level 84-103: Shadow Zard (86), Shadow Dragon (86), Shadow Ghoul (86), Shadow Behemoth (86), Shadow BURP (86)
Level 104-123: Shadow Zard (106), Shadow Dragon (106), Shadow Ghoul (106), Shadow Behemoth (106), Shadow BURP (106)
Level 124-143: Shadow Zard (126), Shadow Dragon (126), Shadow Ghoul (126), Shadow Behemoth (126), Shadow BURP (126)
Level 144+: Shadow Zard (146), Shadow Dragon (146), Shadow Ghoul (146), Shadow Behemoth (146), Shadow BURP (146)
Full Heal after battles #2 and #4
ElBhe: You can't stand anywhere in The Veil these days without being attacked. It's not right, I tell ya.
«You»: ...Where did The Old One get off to?
ElBhe: Must have wandered off while you were busy with those monsters.
ElBhe: No worries. Spy, report!
«Springing out from the bush is... a Darkshifter!»
«You»: ...The bush is a spy?
ElBhe: I know, right? He's hard to notice in that disguise! It's perfect, he blends right in. I created the camouflage myself, you know.
«You»: Of course you did....
Darkshifter: The Old One has been sighted as heading in the direction of Battleon.
«You»: OH GODS.
ElBhe: Relax, «You». How much harm could he possibly do?
ElBhe: Right, silly question. Let's go, and fast!
«Scene: On the way to Battleon. Several houses are on fire!»
ElBhe: Oh dear... I guess we're going the right way.
«You»: He's been loose for JUST A FEW MINUTES! How did he cause all this chaos so quickly?
ElBhe: I know, right? He's a master of his craft. I'll have to ask for lessons.
«A Male Neko Waifer enters the scene.»
Male Neko Waifer: Hay der. Welcum 2 our nu vilage! Ees kewl hear nao 'cuz He caem to c us.
«A Female Neko Waifer enters the scene.»
Female Neko Waifer: Inorite? And he iz so kawaii, nya~! :3
ElBhe: Oh, great. Cultists. I didn't know the Neko Cult still existed.
«You»: Is that why they're talking like that?
ElBhe: Yes.... they are part of a cult that tends to survive and worship in secret. They seek out new members among the homeless, offering them homes and food.
ElBhe: People who join into this cult are transplanted with magical cat ears that slowly transform them into cat-people, what you humans typically call "Nekos".
«You»: How have they stayed hidden for so long? It seems unlikely that they'd be able to hide themselves when they look like this.
ElBhe: The Nekos are able to disguise their cat-like features at will with transformation, much like how your vampires and werewolves do. At least, those with rational thinking can.
ElBhe: The newly transformed tend to be somewhat mindless, so they probably couldn't disguise themselves like the older ones can. Not that I'd want them to. Catgirls rock.
«You»: That's not funny! This is a serious problem, ElBhe! We can't have some kind of secret subrace of cat-people just spring up and start transforming all of Lore into cat-people!
ElBhe: I know. The world's supply of litter and catnip would be running out pretty quickly.
ElBhe: It's odd, though. The Nekos are generally quite harmless creatures who have lived in secret due to their fewer numbers.
ElBhe: The sight of their "god" must have convinced them that it is time for their revolution to overthrow the society that spurned them.
«You»: Wait, "god"?
ElBhe: They believe The Old One is some kind of deity. That's why they worship him through their religious text, the Nekonomicon, which heralds his return and future rule over civilization.
ElBhe: We'd best be careful. I think they're probably converting the non-believers. If they think you're not with them, they'll probably try to brainwash you into joining their cult, too.
Female Neko Waifer: I c u r with wun of His frenz. ...but y u no haz eerz lyke us?
ElBhe: ....oh dear. They've noticed you're not wearing cat ears. Make up an excuse, quick!
«You»: Um... Oh yeah, my ears... Uh... They're at the cleaners?
Male Neko Waifer: U lye! U ish heretik!
Female Neko Waifer: U must be assimalaeted! Git dem, nya~!ElBhe: We'd better get to Battleon quickly. Hopefully this doesn't get any worse.
Warlic: So you're saying that you're here on holiday?
Old One: Yesh. Do u no anyplaec kewl to go c?
«You»: Warlic! Thank goodness. How bad is it?
Warlic: They're brainwashing everyone in sight. Lore is in a complete state of panic.
Warlic: All of Battleon's shop owners refuse to sell products to you unless you're wearing cat ears.
Warlic: Valencia ran off in search of the long lost catnip treasures of the ancient Gattan civilizations.
Warlic: And Twig thinks that the Guardian Tower is a scratching post.
ElBhe: You mean it's not?
ElBhe: Right, right, serious now. *ahem* d00d, u lyke, need 2 tell dems to chill.
Old One: Cn't. Dey crazee.
ElBhe: H00manz iz lyke dat. Dey iz srsly dum.
«You»: ....I don't know why, but I feel like I should be insulted somehow....
ElBhe: Alright, I have a plan. Distract the Nekos. I'll take The Old One somewhere else with a simple shadowstep.
ElBhe: Hopefully they'll calm down when they see their leader is gone, and that will be enough to make them realize that the prophecy is wrong.
«You»: And if it doesn't?
ElBhe: Then I guess we get to find out how you look with cat ears on.
«You»: ....noted. Here we go, then!«ElBhe and The Old One are nowhere to be seen in the aftermath of the battles.»
Female Neko Waifer: Wayte.... wear He go, nya~? ;_;
ElBhe: He gone. Iz not tiem yet, He sed, so He go home.
Female Neko Waifer: ....then wut we do, nya~?
ElBhe: Shuld maek evereeting teh saem again.
Female Neko Waifer: Hm.... well, u is kinda kawaii.... maybe u right. kk, nya~!
«You»: I swear, if I hear that verbal tic one more time....
Several hours later...
«You»: Thank goodness. That should be everyone.
«You»: We were just lucky that the transformation was so easily reversed in the early stages. A pity that we can't cure these poor souls, but it seems they've been changed for too long.
ElBhe: Naw, they seem pretty content with what they've become. Besides, they lived awful lives on the street and such. Why would they want to go back to that?
ElBhe: They may be wackos, but it seems like they're good natured enough. They did help us fix all of the damage they've caused.
ElBhe: Perhaps with time, I can convince them to give up their silly notions of world conquest and find them a permanent home to live in peace.
ElBhe: Besides, they're kinda cute like this. Me-ow.
ElBhe: I'll see if I can't find them a place to take refuge. Now that their existence is no longer a secret, and given what has happened today, I doubt they'll be welcomed back into society for some time.
ElBhe: But fortunately, I happen to know a fantastic place. My owner has some land they might be able to use. Coming, ladies?
«ElBhe leaves the scene.»
Female Neko Waifer: KAWAII, NYA~!
«Like fangirls, the Female Neko Waifers leave to follow ElBhe.»
«You»: ....I think it's safe to say that I'm more of a dog person, now.
Monster lists thanks to Scakk.
Neko Ears [L. 4, 24, 64, 104, 124]
Neko EarZ [L. 44 Z]
Neko Ears G [L. 84 G, 144 G]