RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (Full Version)

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The Jop -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 1:33:30)

@Mallet
He has a good story. The only problem I see is with getting so many evolutions in from one entry. I don't know they would be willing to put in that much effort for one entry, at least since they haven't for past entries.




Beck -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 1:41:48)

I reviewed a few. This man took me 40+ min. Sorry if I sound a bit terse, but you guys, be concise, or at least summarize your entries!

@woohooman
Falconer: typical story, good writing. Why is it a Legendary rank?
Murk Sprite/Elite: different look is good, same writing, typical abyss soldiers serving a god is over done.

@axe face
Terror Fiend of Suinotlim
Looks like a evil mecha spider fiend. Suits the mood. But Nulgath/Rev only name things “of Suinotlim” or “of Ver” if they are both Light oriented and created by themselves.

@Asuka
Mia
A girl is new. Good writing and story, but why is she gonna be fighting monsters/getting possessed?

@Undersoul
Wretched Creation – sounds wonderfully twisted and hideous! A succinct story is all you need here.

@Kiyone
Nova the Insane Elf Witch
Could definitely use editing. The dialogue and scene makes for a nice story, but terribly long character entry. Was fairly typically anime until the dragon Voice popped out. Then it got Oversoul interesting.

@Lemonus
Lime the Observer of Humanity
Color font is ouch. Another demi-god. Let’s hear more about his motivations? Why is this guy/being fighting?

@Seth415
Fiend of Shadow
Well, he definitely fits his description. Not very creative though.

@Balu
Deena the Devourer
Cursed man-eating mournful flower wife… I like it :o The formatting is wonky but the scene flowed well.

@Davel
Styroon
Very nice drawing, but uncreative concept.

@DeathNight OverLord
Genocide
“His armor is the shape of the Legion titan”  You lost me at this point.

@Cyber doom5
The Hunter:
The story has been done, many times before. And what rank is he? Master?

The First:
He’s a fancy murderer and I have no clue why he was spared. You also didn’t give an element or rank.

Soul Warden:
Demi God in a past life. Also, “Later on after the final battle against the Dark”  what. You skipped what seemed like an important and interesting part.

Paragraphs. Make them. Make reading marginally easier.




Antithesis -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 1:46:09)

@Beck I saw your dragon on Twitter, and it looks amazing x_x Could you please read mine? It's a bit long.




Beck -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 1:49:56)

@Antithesis
Not as long as some of the ones I've just read.
So basically, he's the servant of a giant moth. Ok, that is nothing like how I thought he'd be, based on the drawing. I was thinking "alien riot guard". Why is he Lightning? What does he fight?




Antithesis -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 1:50:38)

Ahh! NOT THAT ONE! THAT ONE IS BAD!


The story~

www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rm678j




ND Mallet -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 1:51:57)

@anti Good god man, that puts all of my concepts to shame. I can't hope to beat that story if either of our's get into the finals. ;-;




Redingard -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 1:56:45)

@Moose

You said you haven't seen my entry, correct? Because you seem like a pretty good writer...I need all the help I can get.




Beck -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 1:58:55)

@Antithesis
Ah. Yes, the writing is much better! A classic destruction of the soul.
So... he's a lost knight? This is enough story to capture a mood though. Would make for a good drawing.

Just one comment: "Do not lose sight of me. I will guide you through the shadows, and protect you from all evils.” --> liar! xD




megakyle777 -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 2:03:16)

I made a joke entry parodying about 50% of entries. Please note I bear no malice and am just messing around.

http://forums2.battleon.com/f/fb.asp?m=21438668




The Jop -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 2:04:12)

Are people still submitting entries after Friday?




Antithesis -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 2:05:55)

Mallet, yours was an easy/fun read, and my only complaint was that it lacked climax. The end, (last legendary's bio) was especially anticlimatic.
From the looks of it, he sounds like a really fun character, though! I wouldn't be surprised to see yours in the finals.

And thank you very much Beck :P The poor knight lost sight of his faith as soon as he entered the realms of the godless, heh

@Megakyle;
I lol'd. 10/10 backstory you deserve a Nobel Prize for that.




Lemonus -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 2:06:16)

@Beck
He BARELY fights, just when he is forced to or needs to. His motivation is hope for humans and the potential that one person can bring out in many more of his brethren.

He's not THAT powerful either. More like demi-demi-god.

Thanks for reading. Thought no one'd take an interest in that.




Mondez -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 2:40:32)

I want in on some more critique from others.

What do you guys think about my submissions especially the art ones:

Montague Dezgardo the Void Prince

OSgamesh

Loganus the Beserker

Rayzu Dezgardo the Void Lord




ND Mallet -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 2:43:26)

@Mon The art is amazing and I quite like OSgamesh the most. Won't read the stories because I don't want anything else to compare my story too after reading through a few others.




Beck -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 2:51:22)

@Mondez
It sounds like you wrote a character for yourself.
Void Prince: This sounds a lot like J6's back story, though it was fairly well written and had merit, up until your Other character suggestion barged in and stole the show. Now it's just like an intro for the Void Lord
Lord of the Void: This is a God character. No thanks.
OSgamesh: looks very cool, though I feel we're over saturated with Shadow types so this guy might not do well.
Loganus: I like this design more, but same concerns with the Shadow typing.




Mondez -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 4:02:20)

I'm hoping Mon gets in since he has been with me for seven years as an idea much longer than Necrosis. OSgamesh I modeled after Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy and I do hope he comes at Neutral element. Loganus is also neutral element and I do admit both art sets do look dark, but I did use resources that I purchased which I do have a license for.




Lemonus -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 4:05:25)

@Mon
I just KNEW OSgamesh had something to do with Gilgamesh :0 Just read that name!




megakyle777 -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 4:13:26)

I'm just asking for curiosity's sake on this one, so what do people think of my joke character? I made him because about half of all entries are some kind of demon/angel/god/Dage follower/Nulgath follower. Not that there's anything wrong with those, heck my latest Gentleman turns to Nulgath in the end, but such entries seem to lack a certain uniqueness to me.

Mondez:I really like Loganus's artwork and could see him getting picked. On the flipside though I utterly detest The Void Lord character. It's a decent entry but I've always been of the opinion that the staff should be the ones to make gods if at all, because it fits better with the lore that way.




Mondez -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 4:22:04)

Just wondering aren't the Elemental Lords like gods along with Loki (I think that was the name) from AQ for the April Fools event technically like a god, but then again gods are used in terms for creation stories.




megakyle777 -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 4:27:34)

I've never quite been sure what the deal with The Elemental Lords is. They created Lore in AQ yet want to add it their plane in AQW... I THINK they are gods, but I'm not sure. They defiantly have creator level powers. And yes, Loco is a god, being imprisoned for using a whoopee cushion at the wrong time and nearly starting a god war I think.




Mondez -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 4:47:48)

Well When I wrote the story for Rayzu I missed a real chunk of information that were vital:

1. The world he visits have various rules of conduct that he must follow.

2. The worlds he visits binds his body to a physical aspect meaning he is gained a mortal body which goes the same for the Void family and soldiers.

3. When visiting a world, majority of his power are nerfed to the level of mortals meaning creation and destruction can be used in very small scales from summoning swords to leveling a wall.

4. Death is possible in the world he visits because he loses his immortality.

In the least his son Mon is different because Mon only was given immortality, but everything else from magic to swordplay had to be learned by visiting various worlds. In attempts to learn the world outside the prison he was in majority of his life.




Lemonus -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 5:23:52)

Made a joke character.

If anyone can piece out his past and replace some words with the right ones, you'll easily get what he did in his past life :P




Resk -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 5:45:51)

Would it be possible for someone to have a glance over my entry? Noticed that the feedback has been quite constructive of late, so wouldn't mind getting some for myself :p

http://forums2.battleon.com/f/fb.asp?m=21436952

-Resk




Tower Knight -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/1/2013 12:17:52)

I'm not really the efficient writer and to come up with anything tends to be a bit of a challenge on my part. I know anything I post can be out-done with relitive ease but I always seek to improve. As such could I perhaps receive some feed back on my character?

He is located here: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=21104814&mpage=14&key=

In reply to Resk

Well, we already know that the concept of "fallen angels" is repetitively overdone often but you already knew that so at least I give a thumbs up for establishment in that regard.

First of all the division between acts is a clever idea as some of us have trouble following through an entire tale without either skipping fundamental parts to the story and/or not bothering to read the story altogether. By dividing your story into separate "acts" our minds can gradually take in and understand what you are trying to tell us, rather than our minds eye trying to shove the entire thing down our brain throat, so good job.

As for the story, each section in what I consider "Short and sweet" but not really compelling until we get to Act 3 in which ,in my opinion, it starts getting good. Irony is something I simply adore in stories and here its played out beautifully to mold your character into what you had in mind, an act I myself am not capable of really doing well. The result is a story which I can enjoy and understand and a character of whom I would like to see in-game. Because of the way you have written it I can note really little fault other than the main subject but as we have already discussed, you knew that risk and took it anyway, something that is to be admired around here.

Nice one.

Posts merged. In the future, use the edit button located in the top right corner of your post to add more info instead of making another post, as that is considered spam. ~Mallet




UnderSoul -> RE: =OS= Character Suggestion Discussion Thread (9/3/2013 17:51:42)

@Lord Beck
quote:

@Undersoul
Wretched Creation – sounds wonderfully twisted and hideous! A succinct story is all you need here.


I expected as much. I will most likely revise and redo the story, and probably the lines as well. The main thing I focused on was the description. My drawing skills may make an infant's scribbles look like Van Gogh, but I've been told my descriptive powers are more than enough to set the scene. ironically this is the first one in some time that I put appearance as higher priority than background. With others like Thanatos or Ancient One, I had a basic concept but really needed the story to flesh out the character.




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