Grandpa Oz -> RE: (DF) Curiosity (11/1/2014 18:09:37)
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3.) Sentience The Court of King Coli. Lots of bacteria swarm around, some holding rudimentary spears. King Coli, the biggest of them, sits on a throne that is carved into the wall. King Coli: Who is that poor disfigured soul? Viridans: I caught him in the lower basements, your majesty. King Coli: Did he attack you? Viridans: No, your majesty. But he was sneaking around, seemingly searching for something. King Coli: That is indeed suspicious. Viridans: He might be allied with the Queen King Coli: The Queen? That... would be bad. <Character>: Do I have a say in the matter? Viridans: No. King Coli: Viridans! Let him speak. <Character>: Your majesty, I do not know about the habits of your kingdom, but I'm just a traveller. <Character>: I have no intention to disturbe any of your internal affairs. <Character>: There is a rare mineral I need to find, and it is located in your kingdom. <Character>: If you just let me search, you won't even notice that I'm here. Viridans: So that you can monitor us even more easily?! I can see right through your schemes, spy. <Character>: I don't even know who that queen is! I'm a traveller from far away! Viridans: Liar! Guards, take him down! Fight with a few bacteria guards, and eventually Viridans himself. King Coli: You certainly are powerful... and you didn't attack me when you had the chance... King Coli: It seems that you are really from abroad... and I am in urgent need of combat power now... King Coli: So listen, Traveller. King Coli: Many meals ago, I married my beautiful wife, Queen Escherichia. King Coli: But she betrayed me with my chancellor, and attempted a Coup d'Etat. King Coli: She didn't succeed, but the kingdom is divided ever since. King Coli: Would you be ready to ally with me to regain peace in my lands? <Character>: I'm not in my best shape, your majesty. But yes. I am. King Coli: Then defeat Escherichia for me. I think I know what mineral you are searching for... King Coli: ...and I will help you get some of it if you help me as well. <Character>: *thinks* What's with all these evil queens in the Northlands? <Character>: *thinks* Ah well. Beat villian, secure peace, get reward. That's my line. <Character>: Then I accept your offer! The Hero slays his way through dozens of bacteria <Character>: There is no end to them! <Character>: I'm surprised that Escherichia hasn't won this war yet. Suddenly, the bacteria the Hero is fighting are attacked by other bacteria Candida: In the name of the Chancellor, take them all down! <Character>: *thinks* Wait, the Chancellor is fighting the Queen? I thought they were allies? <Character>: Oh whatever. Time for some diplomacy. <Character>: YOU! <Character>: ALL! <Character>: STOP! <Character>: THIS! <Character>: NOW! The fighting stops abruptly. Candida and another bacterium from the opposing site come forward <Character>: *thinks* I'm so good at this. Candida: Who is this guy? Peptococcus: No idea. Candida: Maybe he works for the King. Peptococcus: Then he must die first. Candida: Agreed. <Character>: I never learn, do I? Double boss fight! When one is beaten, three normal monsters replace him, so the fight consists of eight monsters in total <Character>: *points his weapon at Candida* Now explain what's going on here. <Character>: Start from the very beginning. <Character>: The Queen and the Chancellor betrayed the King. Then what. Peptococcus: The Chancellor soon backstabbed the Queen. He tricked her, and now the Queen's territory is divided between them! Candida: That is a lie! The Queen exiled the Chancellor in a fit of rage! She's crazy, she must be stopped! Peptococcus: You have been brainwashed by the Chancellor! The Queen is the only righteous ruler! Peptococcus: The King is a rotten slavetrader, and the Chancellor is a traitor! Candida: All of the royal family are insane! The King is the worst, but she's just as crazy! Candida: The Chancellor is the only of them with common sense left! <Character>: I think I get the overall problem... but you two shouting at each other doesn't help. <Character>: But - about the King - what is so bad about him? He seemed like the normal quest-giving support character without too much personality on his own. Peptococcus: He tortures prisoners to death, and enjoys it. Candida: He enslaved many a clan, forced them into labour and manipulates the thoughts of their children. <Character>: That is bad. Is there any way to find a peaceful solution? Candida: Never. <Character>: There is never an ever, is there? <Character>: Is there any third... no, fourth party you could ask to mediate or judge? <Character>: No? <Character>: Then I will be this fourth party. <Character>: *points at Peptococcus* You get me the Queen. <Character>: *points at Candida* You get me the Chancellor. <Character>: I'll bring the King. We'll meet here, at this very spot. No armies. No weapons. No tricks. <Character>: If not - you have seen me fighting. Don't test me. <Character>: *thinks* I'm sorry, Adam - but this got priority over insane experiments now. The Hero meets King Coli. <Character>: All is done. If you would follow me to the battlegrounds... King Coli: Splendid, splendid. You truly are as powerful as I could only hope for... They leave - black screen - then, on the conference grounds, the other two factions arrive as well. The Queen and the Chancellor both brought their generals. King Coli: What is this?! King Coli: You lured me into a trap... <Character>: This is no trap. <Character>: You need to resolve this conflict. All of your armies have seen my strength by now. <Character>: And now, I will use my position of strength to finish this war. <Character>: This goes for all three of you - King Coli, Queen Escherichia, Chancellor... Candida: Aspergillus. <Character>: Chancellor Aspergillus. Aspergillus: May I ask who you would be in the first place? <Character>: I am a mere traveller. I was hired by the King to defeat you and the Queen... Escherichia: Oh, Coli... <Character>: But I decided to drop that request and to finish this with your cooperation. Escherichia: Never. Unless you agree to dispose of both these two madmen first. King Coli: I would request the same for these two traitors. Aspergillus: Traveller, I would be willing to share power again... King Coli: Don't listen to him. He's as greedy for power as her. Escherichia: And you. <Character>: None of you benefits from a deadlock like this. Aspergillus: Reason is nothing to them, Traveller. Escherichia: And for him, reason is a tool of tyranny. King Coli: Not like you even understood the concept. <Character>: None of you is helpful to this. Escherichia: Who busted in our internal affairs again? King Coli: That would be him. <Character>: Enough of this. <Character>: *thinks* If I force them to compromise, they'll attack each other the second I have to leave. <Character>: *thinks* If I side with one, he'll just maintain tyranny. <Character>: *thinks* If I somehow get them all into jail or beat them up, their fanatic followers will free them. <Character>: *thinks* Why can't they just explode in a ray of light? Other villains also do that... Suddenly, the Hero's body shakes. He grabs his mouth, and grows a little. <Character>: Ugh. <Character>: *thinks* The shrinking begins to wear off. Why now? Escherichia: Are we having problems, Traveller? How horrible. <Character>: *thinks* If stay any longer, I'll hurt G'joob. <Character>: *thinks* And by the time I come back, they will be done wiping each other out. <Character>: *thinks* Wait, this can play out in my favor. <Character>: Since you cannot find peace, I will have to leave. <Character>: But believe me: I will gather an army, and I will come back, and I will crush all of you for good. <Character>: *thinks* Maybe that forces them to ally - even if it is just for the fear of a common enemy. <Character>: *thinks* But I'm not happy with this at all. The Hero leaves. Outside again. G'joob: What is the problem, Hero? <Character>: I faced a problem I couldn't solve the way I usually do. At all. G'joob: That... is the course of the world, I fear. <Character>: I know. G'joob: As for the mineral... G'joob: We found out that large amounts of it... just... pass through. <Character>: ... G'joob: No worry, we already extracted it for you. G'joob: Here you go, some fresh iodide. We cleaned it, don't worry.
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