spoiler:

My answer.
How well read are you? - You read with eyes? Not too sure on this bit.
Is it your faet to face endless fighting? - Play on words with "fate" and "fae"
Some may think that would be awesome, - Has awesome rarity.
but there's little value in it to others. - Only has a 250 Gold sellback.
It just seems like the fights drag-on so long. - Xiex has over 1 million hp. Which is why I haven't submitted an in-game screenshot yet.

spoiler:

For the "how well read are you" part, the Face of Fae comes from a crossover event with a book called "Za'nar: Impossibility," so it could be referencing that she's from a book.

spoiler:

My answer (still trying to get it to drop)
Tech of the past (even older than 1941!), --- Weapon has a damage range of 19-41.
updated for the future. --- /mountain and /lab have futuristic science storylines.
Just make sure you don't drop it and break it, --- Weapon contains toxic sludge.
otherwise you might gain superpowers. --- Toxic sludge is often used to create superheroes.
Science can make a person really angry, --- It has a deceptively low drop rate.
if Things don't go their way. --- Dropped by the monster Swamp Thing.
Sometimes identity changes are necessary. --- Was previously a gun, and now a bow

quote:

One of the three friends who has a nice rhyming name, I am not the one who stands out. I'm not sad about it though, despite what it make look like. I suppose I could be persuaded to come along with you on your adventures for the right price, especially if it gets me out of this sizzling, hairball-covered place.

spoiler:

I thought it would be a pet, but couldn't find anything that matched all the clues. So I think I found a better solution.
My Answer, part of the Frood, Bloopy, Hoopy, and Oopy Cape series, and I suppose Black Ghost Cape as well.

One of the three friends who has a nice rhyming name, --- 3 of the ghost capes have rhyming names, and so it's not Frood.
I am not the one who stands out. --- Not too sure on this bit, but it probably differentiates exactly which 1 of the 3 is the answer.
I'm not sad about it though, despite what it make look like. --- Oopy is the blue ghost, and feeling blue is a proverb for feeling sad.
I suppose I could be persuaded to come along with you on your adventures for the right price --- It's a shop item.
especially if it gets me out of this sizzling, hairball-covered place. --- Reference to the map name /baconcat, with sizzling referring to bacon, and hairball referring to cat, from where you can obtain it.

spoiler:

My answer
Do you like to garden? --- The item is themed around nature, especially plants.
Infusion of mother nature can certainly help with that, or with your battles. --- By item description, the armor is infused with the power of mother nature.
An Assorted number of situations can be handled when you're dressed properly. --- Obtained via the Battleon Assorted Shop.
People might not know who you are, but we're all from Earth! --- Terra translates roughly to Earth in Latin and Portuguese.

spoiler:

My answer (Were-diver Morph)
1. Wanna go forwards? Na. --- When wearing flippers, you walk backwards because when wearing flippers, they typically drag and make it easy to trip. If you're aware of this and be careful, it's perfectly safe to walk forward. But you'll look stupidly funny doing this. I know this too well :)
2. Clearly you don't want to bother with dye either. --- Fur is color customizable so no need for fur dye. (I first checked the Northpointe Dye Shop for a potential solution because of this hint).
3. Fly me to the moon so I can bring back some samples. --- The armor is merged from Moon Rock Fragments.
4. We should take a vacation to the oceanfront. --- Lunacove is a beach map, and beaches are about as oceanfront as you can get.

• It's AC-tagged and the bank will take it for free
  
• It's not AC-tagged, and is sellable/consumed in a merge shop/quest

spoiler:

My answer (Fishing Bait)

Apparently the ladies need to be careful around this. --- Bait refers to something you need to be wary of.
Who knows what the goal is, --- The fish you get from the fishin minigame is random
but maybe heading East will help solve it? --- The fishing game is east of greenguardwest.
You know what they say offense is the best for, and it's not breaking things. --- No clue, probably because its the wrong answer.
At least if it grows too tiresome to carry, they'll take care of it free of charge. --- Sells for 0 gold

spoiler:

My answer (Ichneumon Spires)
Breaking your tailbone hurts, so how about you carry a few spares with you? --- Cape has 3 tailbones.
That way, if you get hurt slaying dragons or shadows, --- Designed by Shadowslayer after meeting with dragonslayers.
you'll have a replacement! --- Cape has 3 tailbones.
Gives you an idea, doesn't it? --- Cape is in the suggestion shop, which stems from an generated and offered idea.
Better pray you're not prey, though, because that would not be awesome. --- Item description talks about being preyed upon by a dragon.

quote:

I still haven't figured out how to actually even pronounce it.

quote:

/ikˈn(y)o͞omən/