G.I.G.A.
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Yep, I remember reading it as a war story, too. Still, it was and is pretty good. I'll do a further analysis when I have time.
Edit: Some mistakes I found.
quote:
He enjoys the hunt. And he even enjoys when (t)he mark hunts him.
Fix in bold. Also, consider joining the two sentences. It's awkward to start a sentence with a conjunction.
quote:
“No it('s) just dead because he found it that way.”
Fix in bold. Also, consider adding a comma after "No", but don't if it doesn't agree with the way he speaks.
quote:
As Imaru Pushed through the crowd
De-capitalize pushed.
There are a few stylistic mistakes I see, but they should be fine.
< Message edited by G.I.G.A. -- 1/12/2011 19:42:10 >
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