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(DF) The Nation: The Story of Vae'njaece

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7/9/2011 20:47:25   
D1F3Forum
Member

Please discuss the story "The Nation" here.
The story can be found. Here
All critiques are welcome and if I made any mistakes, it would be helpful to have those pointed out as well.
Thx and enjoy!!!

< Message edited by D1F3Forum -- 7/9/2011 20:48:36 >

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AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
7/9/2011 20:51:31   
Mortarion
Member

Jsut make me die in the story already, I only have one condition, make Ra'aret ear his tounge out with his teeth, chocking in his own blood, ironically I always told you to do this, way to close the perfect day

< Message edited by Mortarion -- 7/9/2011 20:53:20 >

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AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 2
7/9/2011 20:55:09   
D1F3Forum
Member

If that's what u really want...
I'll see what I can do.
Eating your tongue out??? Ew...
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 3
7/9/2011 20:55:54   
Mortarion
Member

No, don't eat the tounge, he bites it so hardly it cuts and falls off and that he fall off a cliff, just in the most slight chance that I may return, I mean what's the point in keeping my character, I am out, unless you want my help?

< Message edited by Mortarion -- 7/9/2011 20:58:13 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 4
7/9/2011 20:58:59   
D1F3Forum
Member

So he BITES his tongue off...then falls off a cliff???
Interesting...Maybe Vae'n will see you and you die somehow in the grand scheme of things...hmm...

I could use the help...

< Message edited by D1F3Forum -- 7/9/2011 20:59:44 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 5
7/9/2011 21:00:11   
Mortarion
Member

That's unless you want my help, but who cares, I don't, I am not sad to leave the NAtion *goes to cry in a corner*, also you could make Ra'aret "die" but jsut end horribly deformed and return as a CW terrorist

< Message edited by Mortarion -- 7/9/2011 21:01:04 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 6
7/9/2011 21:02:10   
D1F3Forum
Member

lol...yeah not sad at all...
Ok...I've gots a proposition for ya...
You help me out with this book for a while and I'll put you back in with a warning...
How's that sound?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 7
7/9/2011 21:03:48   
Mortarion
Member

That sounds good, sorry that I overreact but this is my only safe heaven, and msot clans do that, I meant normal clans are like "You have one feet in the door" and then it's "you are out". But I'll still be for some time in a depressed way, if you want I can help with villains/ anti-heroes if you want

< Message edited by Mortarion -- 7/9/2011 21:06:11 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 8
7/9/2011 21:06:43   
The_Insomniac_Of_Lore
Member

@Mort do you always use plurl when sigular is required?
DF  Post #: 9
7/9/2011 21:07:16   
Mortarion
Member

I don't know, my mind isn't here too much tbh
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 10
7/9/2011 21:07:38   
D1F3Forum
Member

THe good thing about this clan is that I'm leniant (i don't think I spelled that right... )
Others like the BoH and I'm guessing the Phoenix r pretty strict.
I just want active members who are good with other members.
I can see you're working on it and I'm not into kicking out ppl for stupid things...
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 11
7/9/2011 21:08:38   
Mortarion
Member

Waht the helmet is leniant?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 12
7/9/2011 21:09:54   
The_Insomniac_Of_Lore
Member

@Mort tbh?
DF  Post #: 13
7/9/2011 21:10:37   
D1F3Forum
Member

It means the opposite of strict, basicly.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 14
7/9/2011 21:12:15   
Mortarion
Member

Ahhhh and michael tbh=to be honest
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 15
7/9/2011 21:14:23   
The_Insomniac_Of_Lore
Member

@Mort that makes sense.
DF  Post #: 16
7/9/2011 21:19:01   
Mortarion
Member

D1F3Forum: First how can I call you?. Second, if you are going to make characters out of every member, ask them for their bios, and if you kick someone for inactivity and they return, will they rejoin?. And in waht can I help you?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 17
7/9/2011 21:26:40   
D1F3Forum
Member

1) How can I call you??? What??? Idk what that means...PM me for things relating to the story.

2) Bios will work. Nice idea.

3) If a member is kicked due to inactivity they must prove that they are willing to be active. I send them something I want them to do (War-Get to a certain amount of waves) stuff like that. They can rejoin...if they're willing.

4) Give me ideas and that's about it. I have the plot down I just need space wasters. The 1st chapter is really short and it would be great to put more stuff in there. So ideas.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 18
7/9/2011 21:34:19   
Mortarion
Member

BY waht to call you I mean a surname

I think that you could make small stories for every chapter and then you tie them down into one big story

I'd make a chapter realting how the nation, as an organisation obiously, came to be.

I'd reccomend you make them one nemesis, and that yo uadd the soulalies factor into the mix

Hope it helps
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 19
7/9/2011 21:58:47   
D1F3Forum
Member

Sry...I was eating dinner...

I might do something like that in the future...I like the idea...
This story is telling how the Chaos Weaver Nation came to be...in my own way.
Basicly, when I add chapters on, it will be more clear...
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 20
7/9/2011 22:05:00   
bsteiny16
Member

Not bad, D1F3Forum. So far, very good. Can't wait to see the next part.
AQ DF  Post #: 21
7/9/2011 22:09:04   
Mortarion
Member

And the SA idea?
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 22
7/9/2011 22:10:19   
D1F3Forum
Member

Next part will be interesting...
I have the plot all inside my head, it's just I had to get through the first chapter and I did!!!

Anyway, in the next part, be prepared to meet...

spoiler:

Vaal...dun dun DUN!!!

He's gonna be so cute at age 7...


@Mort:
I have to do my research (Again) on Chaos Weavers and Soul Weavers...Idk if I'll add Soul Allies, but it will be in the ball park...

Check out Necro Berserk's story, and you'll get a bit of the CW Nation while holding off Vaal...This story is about how the CW Nation formed and why it was needed...

< Message edited by D1F3Forum -- 7/9/2011 22:13:07 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 23
7/9/2011 22:12:01   
bsteiny16
Member

Lol. How about put me as a character....you know, as a baby?
AQ DF  Post #: 24
7/9/2011 22:13:28   
Mortarion
Member

And me as an infant-in-warrior-training
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 25
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