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RE: (HS) The Good, The Bad, and The Chaos. Discussion

 
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9/21/2011 10:53:00   
Sir Night
Member

I finally got caught up reading this, and it really is an incredible story so far with huge potential. Poor Velmur never even saw it coming...
Post #: 51
1/9/2012 22:25:15   
star screamer
Member

I loved it beginning to end, poor old Velmur though... JUST KIDDING! HA HA!
I know my western name: Night Banshee
AQW  Post #: 52
1/9/2012 22:43:50   
delta blitz
Member

*nods head* Its about time Clown I was beginning to feel a bit disappointed at not being able to read your stories.
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 53
1/11/2012 10:37:08   
Clown the Jester
Member

Hm...I like the name Star Screamer...that is definatly something I should consider.
AQW Epic  Post #: 54
1/11/2012 16:32:20   
star screamer
Member

Banshees are awesome spirits.
AQW  Post #: 55
1/12/2012 4:24:54   
megakyle777
Member

Clown, I said it before, but one post can only hold so many words. Sooner or later while you type, you will hit that word count and half a chapter will be lost or something. I REALLY recoomend copying each chapter and breaking them into individual posts while you only have three.
DF  Post #: 56
1/12/2012 13:56:39   
Clown the Jester
Member

Actually Dealer, it won't cut the story in half. It just wouldn't let me post until I remove some characters.


Don't worry sir. I got this.
AQW Epic  Post #: 57
1/14/2012 14:55:16   
megakyle777
Member

Tis still kinda an issue. Those charavcters you have to get rid of may be half a chapter. And the further you go on the less space there will be. To add to this, sperating them into different posts will also make it easier on the eye to read this, being able to diferentiate between chapters at a glance. I'm sorry if I sound kinda pushy, but it's really quite easy to do and has no downsides. If it's worry about the double post rule it don't apply to stories.
DF  Post #: 58
1/15/2012 21:34:38   
star screamer
Member

That new chapter... it was amazing... No, more than amazing...
Was the beast mentioned before? it's been awhile since I've read the
previous chapters.
AQW  Post #: 59
1/15/2012 23:30:46   
Clown the Jester
Member

Yeah, I mentioned him in the prologue and the second chapter.


Glad you like it so much sir
AQW Epic  Post #: 60
1/16/2012 0:00:14   
Sir Night
Member

Like Star said, another amazing chapter. I think the fear that Drake has of the Silhouette and the other dangers of the night gives it a feel similar to what you would get telling spooky stories around a campfire.

EDIT: I took away the question I asked before. Now that I think about it the prairie is probably different than what I was picturing.


< Message edited by Sir Night -- 1/16/2012 1:26:22 >
Post #: 61
1/16/2012 1:20:26   
megakyle777
Member

You know, I seem to be having REAL bad luck with the deals I try to make thus far. First jae refuses, and now Drake Ness too? Na, I hope I can make a good deal soon.
DF  Post #: 62
1/16/2012 7:45:15   
Crystal Lion
Member
 

Brr... Looks like Drake won't make it through after all. I like how you portrayed the Lions so far.
Post #: 63
1/16/2012 10:26:23   
Clown the Jester
Member

Whoopsss....didn't mean to double post.

Heh heh heh...my bad.


I must be loosing my mind.


WA HA HA HA HA!


< Message edited by Clown the Jester -- 1/16/2012 10:28:00 >
AQW Epic  Post #: 64
1/16/2012 10:27:23   
Clown the Jester
Member

I am so thrilled everybodies SO PLEASED! Heh heh heh.



I must say its getting easier to include new characters without making em seem like pointless walk ons. THIS IS GETTING FUN!


WA HA HA HA HA HA!


And I do so hope Drakky don't die yet...least..till I give him...PERMISSION TO DIE!


Heh heh...but still...heh heh heh...grape killing Drake? Gotta admit..heh heh....thats kinda funny.


WA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!


AQW Epic  Post #: 65
1/16/2012 14:27:44   
delta blitz
Member

Such a well written new chapter clown, I found a few writing errors but other that it was definately one of your best chapters. You gave Drakkoniss's character a situation kinda like my old relationship with grey, interesting indeed.
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 66
1/16/2012 14:58:08   
Clown the Jester
Member

HEh heh heh...thankyou kind sir.


I like the idea of Drake Ness and The Silhouette being in a life or death struggle..heh heh heh...kinda show how bumpy a road these two can find themselves.
AQW Epic  Post #: 67
1/16/2012 16:05:49   
star screamer
Member

Now... I wonder, will it go straight to where we
left off, or to a new character?
And if so, don't tell me the character...
AQW  Post #: 68
1/17/2012 1:43:09   
Jessa K
Member
 

Mmm, another good story. Grammar problems of course, but what else would I expect? XD. At one point you call a horse a stallion, and then a mare about two words later. I must admit, I jumped when I read about the guy in the well (too lazy to spell his name on my iPod)

Overall, I like it and I can't wait for more!
AQW  Post #: 69
1/17/2012 2:19:21   
primalvoldo
Member

Love the story Clown, it gives really great Western feal to it. I even made a character for this particular time:

Valdo
The being of ChaotiVoid of the 19th Century

He wears a big brown cowboy hat that darkens his face, on the hat's front is a big red eyeball thats tenticles spread throughout the hat. He has a brown coat and his coat tails drape from him. He wears a violet vest, he has two guns One Violet with a Purple eye on the left side of the pistol and his second gun is Scarlet with a red eye on the right side of the pistol. he wears a magenta tie and dark red pants. He has three spikes in his black shoes and he wears a knife holester which contains a variety of knives and on his back is a black shotgun.

He is supposed to be a Bounty Hunter but it dosn't really count because his client is always Clown, and when he completes a task he is rewarded not with money but a joke from Clown.

< Message edited by primalvoldo -- 1/17/2012 2:20:55 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 70
1/17/2012 8:04:02   
Clown the Jester
Member

HEh heh heh....my bad Jessa. I just hate writing two or three senteces in a row using the same word to describe something.


And grammar has never been my fortee. Thankyou for the honesty.


I like it Primal Voldo. Heh heh heh.


Very edgy.
AQW Epic  Post #: 71
1/22/2012 11:39:19   
Jessa K
Member
 

Alright, this time I'm going to write down comments while I read.

He was holding the barrel as the gun was fired? Would that really hurt?

Whoa, mental breakdown. Not very appealing for a guy like the Silhouette.

FYI, a horse whinnies when it is scared. Not neighs.

I'm not sure that crows count as fowls...

Blood pouring out of it's head? There wouldn't be any head left.

Mmm, I never liked crows.

I wonder what the mysterious herbs are?

Oh, not the horse!

Ah, the unmistakeable laughter. Good way to end a chapter.

Nicely done.
AQW  Post #: 72
1/22/2012 15:24:12   
delta blitz
Member

Such a wonderful chapter clown, I enjoyed the fight scene though I could have made the martial art aspect of a Grey little bit better. But no worries I don't hold it against you seeing as this is a western story.
AQ AQW Epic  Post #: 73
1/22/2012 19:36:39   
Drakkoniss
Creative!
Constructive!


NOW!!!!!!!!!!!


I SHALL FINALLY CATCH UP ON MY READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

Let us start at chapter 3. I believe that is where I stopped reading.

O.o Awakened with a blow to the face... I like the feel of that in the story. Fitting. Adds a little air of drama and also insanity, considering the circumstances. Hehe... a caged animal. Nice touch, considering what he represents.

Leave in a cannon... *snickers*

Oh, you tell the silliest jokes, sometimes. Then again, I like them, because I have a morbid sense of humor, but still. lol

I love peanuts. It's all worth it in the end. ;)

^XP

I enjoy the small talk, too. It accents the helplessness and makes for an interesting little side view of how things are.

I crack peanut shells with my fingers, too. Annoying stinging sensation if you eat enough to create scratches on your finger tips that the salt seeps into, but again, I love peanuts. :)

Now, now, that's no way to talk to your host, is it? Shame on you, goodsir. You don't have to break manners just because you got the crud beat out of you, do you? I mean, we're all gentlemen here, right?

Aww... taking the suprise out of the equation when he asks if he's gonna die? That's just horrible!!! Rather rude, too, now that I think about it. I mean, what does he have to live for now, with the fun of not knowing taken away? Surely it won't be fun, that way. Oh, but I suppose you wanted to be relatable, so I guess I'll let it slide...

Mouthful of peanut shells? O.o

Eh, the beanstalk bit sortof fell flat, imo. I suppose it helps to support your insanity, a bit, though. *shrugs*

o.O Icecream cone... I've been wondering about Qyp. I don't know too much about him (the person who roleplays Drakkoniss speaking; Drakkoniss probably knows quite a bit about Qyp), sadly. Would that description of his reason for joining the Chaos Carnival hold true for the in-game story-line? Speaking of, I just had an icecream cone...

That's true. Being a pyromaniac probably is funner.

I likes that trick too. Fire makes for entertaining light shows.

*smirks at the perverse hilarity of the 8 peanuts lasting a weak*

Ugh... peanut shell.

I thought he'd make a shower of flames, sometime. :)

Smoke is not fun. It makes it hard to look at the meat well, when I grill, if the wind is against me. XD Stinging eyes. :/

That reminds me of Gray Silhouette's burning... also, that I think I know how that fight turned out, but I am not sure.

I think I'll post this, and then edit it. See if I can illicit a response before then. Hehe...

...

I think the cowboy life would be especially irritable for me irl, because I have dandruff. Scalp bleeding from itching, sometimes. XP

Mmm... The need to save ammunition is understandable. Unneeded expenses one would want to avoid, even if they'd be slightly more vulnerable. Besides, with his aim, he probably wouldn't need it unless the hostiles are quite far away, indeed.

Yes, oddly I am refering to the image of myself as a "he", not "I". Idk why. I have whims, sometimes.

I like the horse. Black horses are beautiful creatures, and they are my favorite in coloration, as one might guess... Well, so far as I know, there are no reddish horses of a shade suitible enough for my tastes to weigh its looks better than that of a good black horse, but I suppose there could be one somewhere out there that looks better than they would to me.

I like random discussion. I wonder who this Sylvester is based off of... or is he an original character? Interesting one, nonetheless. Oddly, I think he could be DB, but that would just be guesswork, as I don't believe you originally described his character in the first bit. Too long ago, and it would also have been talked about in other threads. If I remember correctly, we agreed he'd be an ex soldier, but I know not the background of that man... The description looks somewhat similar to what I'd imagine of him, too, though the I have heard no indication of him playing the guitar, or anything like that. It could be a random bit added in for character interestingness.

Hehe... That Attie's a spirited one. Shouldn't be messing around with guns, though, especially when they belong to others... I mean, if she were properly trained, perhaps, but without permission to use it, it is... most likely ill-advised. Especially considering how annoyed people get when they are repeatedly badgered and have their things (apparently) attempted to be stolen. -_-

Calls me friend alot... XD

Guitar strings do not seem to be an easily garnered comodity, apparently. lol

COLONEL CHARRIES!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, memories. Nice little whatchamacallits. Help you keep track of how things are in the world, and to learn to do things better.

A MURDER OF CROWS, I SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't say jumping in quicksand is a good idea, either.

That makes me think of a cavalryman whacking someone with an axe.

Ah, tea... a sign of society, out in the middle of nowhere. :)

Yes, I talked about the murder of crows before you called them as such. THUNDER OF DRAGONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like those crows. XP

I like watching burning wood. Very entertaining, oddly. Also, sometimes the flames above them.

That could be his life force being sucked out by the fire. *shrugs*

Idk, I think the refusal of tea might have altered things for the worse, sending the plot on an inescapable downward spiral into melancholic themes of death and destruction... but that's just me. XD

BAD CROW!!! NO INTERUPTING!!!!!!! *gets pecked at*

*grabs the crow from the air, tosses it through an inter-dimensional portal and resumes reading/commentary*

Idk... Le Dealer's putting down of her thoughts and oppinions seems rather rude, and almost makes him look more like a jerk, rather than a gentleman. Then again, considering the time, I suppose those statements are rather intelligent-sounding. *eats a piece of fried chicken* Anywho, let us see how this turns out, eh? Moral wars between pieces of the conciousness, and all.

*coughleadcough*

*consumes a potato wedge* Hmm... makes me wonder about the shapes of things to come...

*pops three more into his mouth and swollows* (they were tiny ones. ^-^) I wonder just how the fate of my character that you described earlier (in his character description, no less) shall come about...I do have interesting ideas, though.

Ah, the classic "saying an old enemy from the past is going to catch up to you, but he can help" bit.

The fact that he's a killer, now, makes the arguement better, and the story, too. Just like the Gray Silhouette, as well.

*wrinkles his forehead and frowns at the Dealer's explanation of who he is*

Blood... red... eeeyes...

We're just men of business here... Vile, evil, things, afoot.

*Lip twists in a snarl at the mention of the occult* I do not trust him...

Silver bullets... Good metal for nullifying or counteracting the effects of certain magics... Then again, that man could be trying to swindle my countenance. I dislike that. Oh, it's not that it is something I wouldn't expect from The Dealer, but you know what I mean. Having so little control over the actions of a character so close to my heart adds a certain disturbance to the effects of things.

Who says he has a son? XP

A present, yet a favor? Bah! Ridiculous!

... he said he'd give him the gun, not the bullets. .-.

YAY FOR MORAL CODES AND STICKING TRUE TO CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!

Strangely telling, the war drum humm.

I wish my earphones weren't broken. The Super Bowl is distracting.

I like how you portray Isabel. Reminds me of Victorian England, as well it should.

HUZZAH FOR WHITTLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Attie was portraid quite well, too... Wonder just how much trouble she is for her parents, overall.

On another note, that scene was crafted splendidly. Spectacularly good.

~ On the road again... do dodo do dododo do dodo...

Posting now, so as to not lose anything. I shall... edit MORE!!!!!!!! In a moment, that is.

And now to continue, I say:

/me imagines the horse frothing at the mouth while running, and then having a heart attack, eventually

O.o Roquer (ROCKER, I SAY!!!) having a price on my/his head...

Steed, not stead, btw.

Extra revolver maketh for a deadly man. ;)

No pockets? Well, I suppose that could be protection against theft, but riding full gallop there would be too much of a chance for the hat to fall off and the money to be lost for my tastes, if not.

Mmm... Hellish creatures. Guns protect from those. :)

Strong legs, to be able to jump so high.

My first thought as to the weapon is "whip"...

Makes me wonder what background the Silhouette has...

...

Well, sadly I must stop my commentary at 2 chapters today. G'night, Jester.

...

I reckon it might just be time to comment on the newest addition to the family of chapters that makes up this here fiiine story I've been reading about!

Only a coward would use a knife? Bladed weapons have been the tool of choice for the killing of one's fellow man for centuries on end before semi-modern times. Personally, I'd think it would be more cowardly to use a gun you had secreted away somewhere on your person, such as inside your boot, than to stab a person to death, if those were the options, considering he propably knew full well that he had disarmed him of all his ranged weapons except possibly his rifle, which could, could, mind you, be on his back, and would take too long to get off, if so.

Ah, he meant a fist fight... Interesting.

So many blows to the head... that hit to the chin should have been able to cause internal decapitation... almost as if the Silhouette were going easy on him, or wanting to make it last as long as possible, so he could suffer, rather.

Broken rib makes things... chancy;Problematic. Two more simultaneous blows to the head, too. *shudders* The human body can only take so much. XP

Lucky the impact into the wall didn't make him bang the back of his skull into it. That could have easily been a death sentence.

Such a predictable move, the fist to his head... then again, how much thinking could be going on with his head that banged up, and his body so beaten?

And then yet another blow to the face. I wonder how many people would be able to recognise him afterwords. lol

So, so very many hits to the face. *eye twitches*

^XD

This reminds me of arguing with the Original Gray Silhouette about David Blitz. Had to do that quite a few times... Like talking to a wall. Just barely got him to concede points, sometimes using hypothetical scenarios to show he was not quite so perfect as he made himself out to be. I miss our talks. :/

That guy got there fast... even with the horses, that should have been impossible, getting there fast enough to interupt the strike.

Unlike my companion figure, I can think of the Silhouette doing that. No matter how much he hates the evil of the world, he also has this thing about nice, innocent people. Along with that, he refuses to compromise on such moral issues, as a certain line in that very story can attest to.

Jessa's right. Mental breakdowns from someone like that are not pretty sights/reads.

And so, the penny drops, the stone falls, and the bullet penetrates. Arrows for words, she has, all aimed at his heart.

Well, this makes me wonder exactly how much Jae knows/about what things... Also, who killed her in this story.

Good to know he actually DOES have reasons for wearing that garb. I'd been wondering if he really was a certain "Reverand Silhouette", and not just your "common" man.

That makes me imagine Jae getting her brains blown out at that exact moment, the talk of innocents of pure heart being taken from the world does.

Yet more info on the background of that western community... Wild more than all in the rest of the entire nation combined, most likely.

And then he/I dies/die, because the broken rib pierced a lung. The end. XP

On, but that would be too easy, and there are things yet to be wrought, I'd say. Oh, the many things that must be done, and shall be by the end of this tale.

*face shifts yet again into a snarl at the mention of the Dealer, and the thought of things to come*

I was thinking that shooting them might be necessary, too...

Idk, crows are extremely intelligent birds. They actually are capable of deceit, and apparently have an extremely detailed language, capable of conveying minute details. They also supposedly make nice pets... or at least ravens (on the pets part), but they are a type of crow, so meh. A pair of crows once disassembled a fire alarm in a lab where scientists were experimenting to see how intelligent they were, and they weren't even tasked to do that. They just decided to do it for no reason one day while the scientists were gone. ._. ... They are also extremely good at making tools, and invent them out of materials available to them in the situation. Crows in the wild create knives out of plant material to be able to access bugs that are their prey easier, at the very least in one population and environment.

And yes, they can and do remember faces. Interestingly, there was once a crow epidemic in this one town, and after a single crow was shot down, the other crows in the area nearby fled, and apparently told the other crows of the town, because they always avoid it in their migratory routes, now. Crows in cities have been discovered to memorize the paths garbage men take each day of the week and follow and scavange from the refuse, never missing the opportunity.

Oh, and yes, blood could be pouring out of its head if it had hit the top of it. It also depends on the size of the crow, too. They can grow to sizes as big or bigger than house cats, if fed well enough.

Arg... no mercy, and now with hundreds surrounding him. A virtual death trap. There are reasons they are called murders of crows...

And so, the sight of the Jester at last is his, the Harlequin, death of men, madman and torturer, practical joker of DOOM? Oh, the future. Curiousity killed the cat, but I have a stronger heart than it, and no collar to strangle me on the fence as I run from murderous dogs, either.

Simple goodies... Oh, how he entertains me at times. A funny talk, they have, those two.

Oh, that unruly fellow. I take it this is why he doesn't deal with you in this version of things, eh, Clown, old boy?

*narrows eyes* The seeds of evil, consumed by a madman. One would think this won't end well, eh?

OOH! THAT RHYMES!

Oh, and a pail is a thing you stick water into. PALE, on the other hand refers to color not being vivid. ;) Then again, you DID say you made spelling mistakes on purpose. *shrugs*

Leaves a man with an interesting picture in his head, that CLown.

YES, I MIX CAPITALIZATION!!!!!!!!!

Fnk.. classic.

Aww... but speaking to the insane makes for funny talk... XD

THERE SHALL BE RECKONING FOR THAT!!!!!!!! NOONE SPITS ON ME AND GETS AWAY WITHOUT SCARS FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

And so, Darkness Falls. Let us see if we cannot Light a Candle, shall we? WONDERFUL SERIES!!!!!!!!!

He said he'd explain what the favor was after the deal was struck. -.-

CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I liked that horse... Now, our steps are laid before us. We shall... see where the paths take us, no?

The... time... shall... COME!!!


< Message edited by Drakkoniss -- 1/23/2012 12:12:25 >


_____________________________

DF  Post #: 74
1/22/2012 23:59:48   
Jessa K
Member
 

Wow, Drak, I knew to expect something long, but this... *shakes head*

Just so you know, there ARE 'red' horses. Chestnuts and sorrels both have red coats of varrying shades.

Sylvester is based off of Celestin. It says so at the beginning of the story.

AQW  Post #: 75
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