Home  | Login  | Register  | Help  | Play 

RE: Essence of Murder- An Episode in London C&C

  		Logged in as: Guest
  Printable Version
All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> RE: Essence of Murder- An Episode in London C&C
Page 2 of 2<12
Forum Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
3/24/2012 1:29:04   
Glais
Member

quote:

If his hunch was correct, whoever that tried to kill him, it would definitely still be on his trail.

Feels kinda weird to me.

...

Yes, FEELS.

quote:

Clumsily, he gorged through the corpse's messy bowels and ripped out a liver.

Wait he ATE them? I think I am just misunderstanding gorged xD

Strangely, my mind gives Jack Magenta Magenta's appearance, though thankfully without the voice...heh.

Kharca's grown on me...slightly. Still dislike her though.

But overall a nice finale, I couldn't really get into the atmosphere myself as I hate this type of setting, but the end fight would look kinda cool animated.
quote:

"Fufufufu, how cute. Suits you well, my pet. Why? Want to play 'Jack the Ripper' for a while?" She asked.

Surprisingly, the girl slowly nods.

Found this oddly cute.

< Message edited by glaisaurus_x -- 3/24/2012 1:33:40 >
DF MQ  Post #: 26
3/24/2012 1:38:46   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Thanks.

quote:

I think I am just misunderstanding gorged


I think I used a wrong word here. Let's just say he stuck his arm into the now cut open torso, and groped within the innards until he found the liver.

Anyway, at least I have cheap reason as to why Jack the Ripper stopped killing people.

Hehe.

DF MQ  Post #: 27
3/24/2012 1:40:52   
Glais
Member

It makes more sense than Aliens anyway, not that...anyone ever said that...but it's always a viable answer.

So now I wonder, will you just be doing these random ministories to build characters from now on (or until you start HoG Act 2, if you still are anyways).
DF MQ  Post #: 28
3/24/2012 1:46:42   
lordkaho
Creative!


 I'm not sure on what to do with HoG. I think I've dug myself into a hole with that one.

It's still decent reference material though if you ever need one.

I'll be doing these mini-stories and one shot comics as means for practice, in both writing and drawing, since I have proven myself to be incapable of doing a full length story.
DF MQ  Post #: 29
3/24/2012 1:48:59   
Glais
Member

Hm, well i was enjoying HoG at least. Oh well, just do whatever you feel will best aid you and be fun at the same time. I had to resort to drawing super-stylized robots and JJBA characters to get back in the groove of art.

And I see, I quite like that. This way updates aren't huge endeavors to read but at the same time they still build the universe and characters within it.
DF MQ  Post #: 30
3/24/2012 8:42:14   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
quote:

She has made her master quite proud.


had

This sounds rather strange (apart from the has), from how I read it we're still observing the scene from Kharca's perspective and not the omniscient storyteller. I'd suggest this.

She had made her quite proud.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 31
3/24/2012 8:46:26   
lordkaho
Creative!


 Oh thanks for that. So, how was it?
DF MQ  Post #: 32
3/24/2012 8:54:02   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 It was good classic example of a horror, but there are some things that leave me confused.


quote:

The child could only look back at him with cold, blank eyes. Whatever this man was saying, what he was trying to convey, she could care less. She was just an automaton implanted with only one function; to kill, to murder, to take away life. And hence, emotions nor morals meant nothing to her.


Why did she bother with listening to "Jack" then?

quote:

"Emotion. What you did is nothing different from him dying from accidentally getting run over by a bus. Murder is something that must be mutual, a violent battle of emotions, with one purpose: To Kill. Though I guess it would be better for you to have not any of those weird human feelings."


Knowing this, why does Kharca still persist on the Bloody Effigy murdering someone?

quote:

But...


I wonder when she'll be automatonnap-borrowed.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 33
3/24/2012 9:20:25   
lordkaho
Creative!


 The BE always makes it seem like she's giving a chance for a person to attack. An illusion of hope, and then when the person feels safest, she instantly breaks all that hope. And you see, Kharca despises people who kill indescriminately thinking their doing it for a cause, as much as how Sof loathe seekers of immortality. Anyway, remember when how Jack the Ripper suddenly vanished and stopped killing? Well, a certain Goddess kidnapped her.
DF MQ  Post #: 34
3/24/2012 9:25:34   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


 @lordkaho: I see, but doesn't Sof fear her own death?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 35
3/24/2012 9:30:29   
lordkaho
Creative!


 She does, since there is no concept of eternity in this universe, but she accepts her inevitable fate, unlike Himmel who still lives in a world of lies.
DF MQ  Post #: 36
3/26/2012 23:33:42   
Mordred
Member

Finally got around to reading it, and I quite liked it, only I wish you had gone more into details. Things like the people wandering the streets, Big Ben(I think it was made by this time, anyways) ringing off the hour, just the general setting of early-Victorian London. It feels kinda empty in the story, if that makes any sense. :P I did like the tie in with history, and the fact that this little death bot ended up taking on Jack the Ripper's alias and committed one more killing in his "name"(I think that's what you implied; he made five killings during his murder spree, the second to last being unusual in that he didn't mutilate her body like he wanted to, and the last being his goriest, with the remains literally covering the entire room). :P
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 37
3/27/2012 1:49:45   
lordkaho
Creative!
quote:

It feels kinda empty in the story, if that makes any sense.


Yeah I know. I actually wanted to delve more on how the slums of Whitechapel were like, street children everywhere, people in bowler hats, police twirling nightsticks and the like, but I felt they only clash with some points in the story.

quote:

I think that's what you implied;


Exactly.

Though I only loosely based the events in the story to what actually happened while maintaining some points vague, like the identity of the women killed. Though if you had some background on Jack or you made a trip to wikipedia, the women are in fact Elizabeth Stride and Catherine Eddowes. The actual confrontation of the victims with Jack however is just something I made up to fit with the plot.

EDIT:

Made some small changes.


< Message edited by lordkaho -- 3/27/2012 2:39:42 >
DF MQ  Post #: 38
3/27/2012 3:18:38   
Glais
Member

Changes you say? Now I will have to viciously scour the story for such additions...
DF MQ  Post #: 39
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> RE: Essence of Murder- An Episode in London C&C
Page 2 of 2<12
Jump to:






Icon Legend
New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Forum Content Copyright © 2018 Artix Entertainment, LLC.

"AdventureQuest", "DragonFable", "MechQuest", "EpicDuel", "BattleOn.com", "AdventureQuest Worlds", "Artix Entertainment"
and all game character names are either trademarks or registered trademarks of Artix Entertainment, LLC. All rights are reserved.
PRIVACY POLICY


Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition