RE: MM's Fooetry ~ Comments Thread. 100!


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8/9/2008 20:04:36

Mistermafio
Member

New, new poem.

On this one, comments would be greatly appreciated.
It's written in a the sleep-deprived state I'm all weekend, so it might not be the best ever though. :^P

Lately

AQ	Post #: 26

8/11/2008 14:50:00

Mistermafio
Member

Again a new poem. One of my most experimental yet... Again. :^P

Chaos - The words fly through my head

AQ	Post #: 27

8/11/2008 15:04:45

Sentharn
Member

Chaos really does remind me of my room on a bad day.
I liked the sense of chaos inspired by the word placement, although it's rather nasty to read on a wide monitor at high resolution! Yay for fluid web layouts!
Is the "space" you refer to your imagination or something...else?

Post #: 28

8/11/2008 15:15:25

Mistermafio
Member

Yeah, 17" ftw! :^P

Most directly the space I mention refers to the space the chaos is in.
When I wrote this I didn't have a particular space in mind... Well, I did when I started, but things kinda evolved beyond that.

I myself prefer to refer to the space mentioned as my imagination though.

Thanks though ^>^

AQ	Post #: 29

8/12/2008 3:31:56

Mistermafio
Member

I'm on a bit of a roll lately. Again a new poem.
A longer one today, for those that like my poetry... And like it if they're longer... And stuff. <.<

Anyway.

The end

AQ	Post #: 30

8/13/2008 7:20:57

Mistermafio
Member

This next poem might be a little (but only a little) confusing. If it is... It's done its job. :^)

I didn't title it because I just couldn't think off anything that makes sense without telling too much.
If anyone has a suggestion please say so. Till then:

It's here in all its nameless glory

Comments as always are greatly appreciated

Many thanks to Euky whom shouted her suggestion from the cell next to me in such a nice fashion I couldn't help but add it as soon as possible.
That, and she's promissed to let me swim in her pond if I do so. :^P

Never miss

< Message edited by mistermafio -- 8/13/2008 12:26:35 >

AQ	Post #: 31

8/15/2008 4:14:46

Mistermafio
Member

Well, new poem up.

I've debated on putting this one up for some time as I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about the poem when I wrote it.

Is there anything sadder

AQ	Post #: 32

8/16/2008 11:11:54

Mistermafio
Member

Again I have a new poem up. This one is a collab between me and Eukara!
(apologies to all Eukara's fans that have to deal with the bad me-parts in between :^P)

We have agreed to have this thread as the central comments thread, that makes it easier for the both of us then having to check two threads at the same time. Anyway, I hope you like it:

The Olympics

AQ	Post #: 33

8/23/2008 18:57:41

Mistermafio
Member

The lack of comments for Euky and my latest poem confuses me.
While I wrote it, and every time I read it afterwards I loved it. More then anything else I've written before. Yet I do not see a single comment about the poem here, nor have I heard very much about it via the other routs some people prefer to talk to me. Was it not a good poem? Or was it too good a poem and could noboby find anything to comment on? Maybe nobody noticed the poem? Maybe my status as an AK makes you nervous to comment? Or did you just not feel like commenting?

I'm intrested to find out.

Anyway, new poem out. I am what I am not
A slightly confusing title perhaps, a slightly confusing poem perhaps too, I know I like it. Comments are appreciated.

^>^

AQ	Post #: 34

8/24/2008 7:46:36

PoeticSpanner
Member

quote:

The lack of comments for Euky and my latest poem confuses me.
While I wrote it, and every time I read it afterwards I loved it. More then anything else I've written before. Yet I do not see a single comment about the poem here, nor have I heard very much about it via the other routs some people prefer to talk to me. Was it not a good poem? Or was it too good a poem and could noboby find anything to comment on? Maybe nobody noticed the poem? Maybe my status as an AK makes you nervous to comment? Or did you just not feel like commenting?

"is there anything sadder" left me crying and speechless. as do many of your darker pieces. hard to comment when ya busy wiping tears.....>.<
AK..pssh...maybe your awesomeness as a poet.....but I dont think has to do with the AKness.......

as to this:

quote:

[06:11:06] <&MM|semiaround> Basically, I am wondering why the amount of comments I'm getting is dropping
[06:11:35] <&MM|semiaround> 'cause I'm fearing it's because the quality of my work is dropping and I just don't notice it

your *quality* of work is only getting better. I think your work can be compared to cheese or wine......just gets better with time. also, as ya experience more .. you seem to add it to it...making it more emotional, deeper, and just ... better.

I think your readers are either too busy rolling around laughing at the sunny ones or busy wiping tears from the darker ones OR just plain speechless at your talent :)

please, by all means:

KEEP UP THE "POEMING"! (both written and visual)

Ana

Post #: 35

8/24/2008 8:14:20

Mistermafio
Member

The reason I bring up AK is because I know in the days before /I/ got AK I was always very nervous about talking to them. It took me quite some time to realise they're just people like you and me and stuff.

Next to that I can only say thank you, I am honoured by this... Honoured, and rather speechless to be honest.
I hope you're right regarding the reason of the lessening in comments, as the alternative of my quality really dwindling haunts me.

^>^

Thank you, Ana, just thank you.

< Message edited by mistermafio -- 8/24/2008 8:16:15 >

AQ	Post #: 36

8/24/2008 8:27:13

SuperGuy 9000
Member

I've only read a few, but they were all excellent. I severly hope you do more while I read the rest.

Post #: 37

8/24/2008 17:57:05

Mistermafio
Member

I'm glad you liked them SuperGuy ^>^

I hope I'll make some more too :^P

thanks for taking the time to comment

AQ	Post #: 38

8/25/2008 16:01:23

Mistermafio
Member

A new poem up.
This one has just about no rhymes at all in it:

The quiet train station

AQ	Post #: 39

8/26/2008 0:37:17

Firefly
Lore-ian

The Quiet Train Station:

quote:

not more then twice a day,

"than"

I'm too tired to catch more mistakes outside of that typo. Love the concept. Wonderful last line. I will type up my thoughts on your poetry as a whole. But for now, I must go to bed. *collapses on keyboard*

AQ	Post #: 40

8/26/2008 17:06:20

Mistermafio
Member

Thanks Firefly! I'll fix the mistake first thing tomorrow.
I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and I can't wait for the rest of your comments. ^>^

Also, I'd like to thank Fabula (see! I didn't say fab! yay) for nominating me for PotM, I'm honoured

AQ	Post #: 41

8/26/2008 17:09:37

Sairex the Dragwolf
Member

I read the train station poem. It made me smile. Kinda reminds me about the time that I just stopped and started thinking about things, that normaly wouldn't interest me. It's fascinating in a certain way, how you made me feel the nostalgia of an urban romantic.

Good work, man. It's nice to see you haven't rusted yet :)

Post #: 42

8/26/2008 18:19:38

Firefly
Lore-ian

The End:

quote:

but I can’ believe it

"can't"

quote:

Don’t they hear your call now, father?

Wouldn't it be capitalized in this context since it is believed in by the narrator? If so, remember to correct it for all the refrains.

quote:

who of them will be the first to die.

Well, this certainly is... awkward. I dunno if "which of them" works either. Perhaps "Who among them"?

quote:

And yet again I see them laughing,
yet gain I see them talk.

"again"
Personal preference, but it might be better with commas after the two "again's"

quote:

their ever nearing dead?

I think you might need a hyphen for "ever-nearing" since it's a single adjective.

quote:

Telling them how death is just ahead.

By now I’ve passed the town

This might be really picky but I think you pressed "enter" one too many times there. =P

Very nice, MM. I love the concept. Y'know what this reminds me of? Gwoonjustin's story "The Oddball and his Odd Ball." You two should team up. =P Really, it rawks!

I will be seconding Fabula's nomination for you once I find the right words. I'm hard-pressed to find something wrong with your poetry, honestly. On top of that, you're a large part of my poetry influence, so it's kinda hard for me to pick out your flaws since you're my poetry hero. =P

AQ	Post #: 43

8/27/2008 13:48:34

Mistermafio
Member

Oh! Two comments in a row! ^>^

Sairex, thanks for reading it. It means a lot to me such an awesome poet as yourself likes my work. My trick to stop rusting: a regular coat of paint and as little contact with water as possible. ^>^

Firefly Thank you so much once again!
I agree with all your edits except for one, the last one about the enters. I over entered on purpouse there. For me it's a changing point in the poem, normally I'd use a horizontal ruler, but that'd really ruin the poem. It's a personal preference I want to stick too.
Consider the rest changed.

O.o
you consider me, /me/, your poetry hero?
/me faints

I'm rather speechless, thank you I guess. ^>^

AQ	Post #: 44

8/27/2008 15:38:28

Firefly
Lore-ian

Look on the nomination thread. =P

MM, I really will type out which poems I think are the best, which have potential, ect, ect. I even promise to critique the poems I think have publishing potential. I'll try to have the list out for you later tonight or tomorrow. After the program, typing a story, finishing a critique... Er... Umm... *sees the audience's glares*

You're the biggest influence to my poetry in recent times. No kidding. *revives MM*

I had a feeling the double-enter was intentional. I was checking to make sure. ^_^

AQ	Post #: 45

8/27/2008 16:59:15

Mistermafio
Member

First of all, I'll keep it short. I'm on my wii, and typing on this is a living hell <.<

Thank you so much for everything.
Take all the time you need for your comments, I know you're busy and typing comments for and reading close to 90(!) poems can take quite a while.

I'd be honoured if you consider me /somewhat/ of an influence, being your /biggest/ influence renders me speechless.
It really does ^>^

AQ	Post #: 46

8/31/2008 8:00:58

Mistermafio
Member

New poem up, I got a bit of help from Amboo [link to his poetry] on this one.
Well, he only helped with one line, but I think he's an awesome poet and he should be mentioned anyway. Go read him sometime if you haven't already.

Anyway, here it is. My latest poem, The lightning

AQ	Post #: 47

9/1/2008 13:28:48

Mistermafio
Member

New poem up!

This one is a collab between me and Ana_Maria, a good friend of me and a great poet.

Request Accepted: Randomness Ensues

AQ	Post #: 48

9/4/2008 16:41:58

Mistermafio
Member

New poem up! Comments appreciated.
Ya know, the usual. :^P
Be a hero

AQ	Post #: 49

9/5/2008 14:25:37

Mistermafio
Member

The relativity of anonymity

New poem

AQ	Post #: 50

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