The False King of New Haven ~ An epic prequel


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7/13/2008 15:10:16

Mistermafio
Member

So, here it is. The prequel to my first epic: Royalty of New Haven.
Even though this is a prequel it is heavily suggested you read Royalty first. As this one contains spoilers towards it.

But for those that did read Royalty already... Or are just looking to read an epic and don't care what the writer has to say I present you:
The False King of New Haven

I know the intro isn't what you'd call 'original' but the first chapter is on it's way.
^>^

< Message edited by mistermafio -- 7/13/2008 15:32:10 >

Post #: 1

7/13/2008 15:42:28

Mistermafio
Member

The first 'real' chapter is up:

Would you ever feel sorry for him?

Post #: 2

7/16/2008 10:03:26

Mistermafio
Member

The second chapter.

I'd appreciate any and all comments.
Well? Would you?

Post #: 3

7/16/2008 10:15:49

~Shade~
Member

quote:

With all the bells and whistles
they could ever whish for.

Um. *giggles*

That's it.

I really like it so far. And, because an author can't claim his on thread, CLAIMED FOR... NAME CHANGES!

Soon to be known as,
~Shade~

Post #: 4

7/16/2008 10:25:40

Mistermafio
Member

You should be honoured really,
seeing as how one of the characters coming up in this thread will also be named Shade.

I'm beginning to get the feeling you're doing this /just/ so you can be in this epic too. <.<

:^P

BTW what do you guys think of my new sig? Flashy aint it?

< Message edited by mistermafio -- 7/16/2008 10:36:10 >

_____________________________

Infinity; the simple fact that there are as much even numbers as there are even and uneven numbers combined.

Post #: 5

7/16/2008 12:00:37

Fleur Du Mal
Member

Hi!

I noticed that you've used exactly identical Introduction as in the Royalty of New Haven.
Have you considered about changing it a bit, just for fun, around this part:

quote:

The inhabitants of New Haven are happy with their lives,
all the woman have happy children,
all the men have happy wives.
All the people are very well fed,
and every lonely child has a cute little pet.

You could add some different info here and then test if the readers of New Haven notice anything.... =P

quote:

The fifty push-up’s are done

'push-ups'?

quote:

Jake and Henry Slecht.

An odd comment: I dunno if that Slecht means anything in Dutch. Does it?
(I'm asking this because I misread it as if it were German: schlecht. That would be a bad name to have)

quote:

With all the bells and whistles
they could ever whish for.

Isn't that a typo?
'wish'

quote:

The commander looks at his shoes,
clearly ashamed

You're missing a period there, I deem.

I'm interested in this epic, too!
Unless you keep on calling me - you know what.....*points at mistermafio's last post in the Fooetry thread*

Post #: 6

7/16/2008 18:13:50

Mistermafio
Member

Gah, you and your name! I'm just too stupid to remember to type out your full name I'm afraid. I'll edit my post as soon as possible and I'll punish myself by not eating a single cookie for the rest of today. My apologies.

I'll edit the typo's as soon as I get the time. I might do that intro thing you mentioned.

Oh, and slecht actually means evil/bad in Dutch. I thought it a nice warning for what'd happen in RoNH. Well spotted

Post #: 7

8/4/2008 4:55:32

Mistermafio
Member

Woah, I kinda neglected this didn't I?

Well, I've got a whole lot of chapters in the making, so expect plenty added today and the rest of this week.
The first of those being

A discussion

And the second being

You are now leaving New Haven, please be back soon

Enter Shade

Enter Blade

Enter Xyphos (This is the shortest chapter ever for a reason. <.<)

< Message edited by mistermafio -- 8/4/2008 5:59:59 >

Post #: 8

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