Fleur Du Mal
I noticed that you've used exactly identical Introduction as in the Royalty of New Haven.
Have you considered about changing it a bit, just for fun, around this part:
The inhabitants of New Haven are happy with their lives,
all the woman have happy children,
all the men have happy wives.
All the people are very well fed,
and every lonely child has a cute little pet.
You could add some different info here and then test if the readers of New Haven notice anything.... =P
The fifty push-upís are done
Jake and Henry Slecht.
An odd comment: I dunno if that Slecht means anything in Dutch. Does it?
(I'm asking this because I misread it as if it were German: schlecht. That would be a bad name to have)
With all the bells and whistles
they could ever whish for.
Isn't that a typo?
The commander looks at his shoes,
You're missing a period there, I deem.
I'm interested in this epic, too!
Unless you keep on calling me - you know what.....*points at mistermafio's last post in the Fooetry thread*